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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38095) - you deserved it (5414)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37841) - you deserved it (5278)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (4811)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

#21107057
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (4402)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by AlonsoKold - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37619) - you deserved it (3655)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37408) - you deserved it (2559)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37343) - you deserved it (2356)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (4593)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37117) - you deserved it (4501)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37001) - you deserved it (4674)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36930) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36761) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)



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