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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

#21524349
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (3726)

On 02/09/2016 at 8:08am - love - by abnormallyadam - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18328) - you deserved it (4289)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18316) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the seventh weekend in a row, I left my weekly visit with my long-distance boyfriend unsatisfied. Seems he enjoys getting shit-faced drunk more than he enjoys getting a boner. FML

#21523668
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18028) - you deserved it (2932)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by noO (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got to work and saw a new desk had been setup on stilts. 'Oh, who got the standing desk?' I asked. Turns out it's for the guy in the wheelchair who was right behind me. It needs to be high so the controls of his wheelchair can fit under the desk. FML

#21522017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (3397)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

#21524473
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (2036)

On 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by hannieannie - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I went to my grandma's house to visit. She's an elderly woman, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help. She told me to take the dog out, so I did, but one thing she didn't tell me is that her dog loves to take explosive shits everywhere. FML

#21521987
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17817) - you deserved it (1494)

On 02/02/2016 at 12:37am - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Colorado)

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

#21524037
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17768) - you deserved it (1488)

On 02/08/2016 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Austria

Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

#21522467
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17590) - you deserved it (2124) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/03/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by DieuEstUnHomme (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

#21523045
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (1517)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:07am - misc - by Hreid254 - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

#21523316
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17525) - you deserved it (1756)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:42am - animals - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, after my fiancé of seven years and the father of our four kids broke up with me, saying he slept with another girl but not to worry, he thought about me the whole time and still wants to marry me one day, it turns out he's moved to another state. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML

#21524278
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17450) - you deserved it (1579)

On 02/09/2016 at 12:17am - misc - by nofriends - United States (Idaho)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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