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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (8933)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (2592)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29600) - you deserved it (3321)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (2441)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (5701)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (3219)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

#21392388
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (2465)

On 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (2754)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (3088)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)



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