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By Anonymous - 11/1/2021 11:01

Hmmm, steak

Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks
358
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816
6 Comments
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By Lissy - 5/1/2021 14:02

You're my mommy now

Today, and everyday since we got a puppy in March, my husband is jealous of the puppy who follows me everywhere. He was the one that wanted the puppy and now he practically hates it. FML
I agree, your life sucks
767
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67
6 Comments
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By Erin - 2/1/2021 20:01

Warming it up

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks
715
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141
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 08:03 - Germany - Ebersbach

Preferential treatment

Today, my mom’s house has several comfortable places to rest in every room. For the cats and dogs, that is. Unfortunately for me, I'm a human. FML
I agree, your life sucks
585
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91
1 Comments
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By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 22:58 - Germany

Woodland mystery

Today, walking in the woods, I heard someone screaming like crazy. First I thought it might be a hurt animal, but then I heard syllables in the screams. When I yelled, “What’s going on there?!” there was only silence. It was so creepy, I’m too scared to walk my dogs there now. FML
I agree, your life sucks
760
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106
5 Comments
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By Bad friend - 19/12/2020 02:04 - United States

Entitled

Today, after I'd mailed my friend her Christmas gifts since we can’t see each other, she called me ranting because the gift I sent her dog only cost $5. According to her, that means I must not really care as her dog is her “baby”. I bought gifts for all 5 of her kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1088
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62
7 Comments
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By Puppy_Killer - 16/12/2020 23:02 - Australia

Murderer!

Today, I was backing out of my garage when my neighbour's collie ran behind my car. Unfortunately, I didn't see it, but I heard a thump. They were out, so I rushed him to the vet's. I was upset, and I guess I was driving too fast and didn't see that another dog was crossing the road. I killed two dogs today. FML
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1306
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375
7 Comments
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By Rebecca Palermo - 14/12/2020 11:03

Beggars can be choosers

Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML
I agree, your life sucks
822
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167
6 Comments
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By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 07:56 - Germany - Zittau

Addams Family Values

Today, I heard my mom say to the dogs, "Are you hungry? Do you want something tasty out of the garbage can?" Don’t worry though, she probably only meant the one in our garden, where she keeps the deer heads. FML
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649
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68
2 Comments
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By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Good boy

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food and continue cuddling. FML
I agree, your life sucks
830
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91
3 Comments
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By FML Approved

Selfie Privilege = Revoked

Tsk tsk tsk...
2 Comments
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By Anonymous - United States - New Bloomfield

Good boy

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
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26361
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20985
55 Comments
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Nearly  
Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event....
I agree, your life sucks
41
You deserved it
21
1 Comments
Today, I heard my mom and my 11 years old sister talking about how being gay or bi is funny and everybody should be straight.I'm bi(14 years old) and...
I agree, your life sucks
81
You deserved it
12
0 Comments
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  Spicy
  Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much...
I agree, your life sucks
400
You deserved it
92
5 Comments
  Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks
833
You deserved it
41
7 Comments
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