Love: Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with...

By Angelofkarma - 25/05/2009 18:05 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314 388

You deserved it 173 233

Love

Batman

Mama's boy

The patriarchy rules

Math ain't easy

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 15:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I struggle with dyscalculia, I set up some counters so I could knit up a perfect square. Turns out the counters actually made it worse. I have three failed attempts and I'm stuck on number 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 59

By a_dani365 - 06/07/2015 21:37 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 452

You deserved it 9 600

Extreme dating

By umm yeah no! - 20/08/2021 13:59

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my new girlfriend about her terrible hygiene. In the two weeks we’ve been dating, she admitted to only having showered "once or twice." She doesn’t see a problem with this, even though the first (and last) time she came to my place, she smelled like death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 198

By stpry of my life - 27/02/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 921

You deserved it 6 972

By Anonymous - 16/02/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 077

You deserved it 2 748

By Lonely At Griffith - 17/06/2019 13:02

Today, well into my second year at university, I still haven't made a single friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 283

That shit adds up

By melikeyturtles - 03/07/2012 15:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 117

You deserved it 2 814

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 088

You deserved it 8 191

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 10:53 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 290

You deserved it 30 177

By thunder thighs - 11/02/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 444

You deserved it 6 268

By disappointmentafter4years - 12/04/2016 19:31 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after 4 years of staring each other down at the bar, we both finally made a move and ended up at his apartment. After 45 mins of unsuccessfully getting anywhere, I left, to walk home in a hail storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 272

You deserved it 3 704

By IvyLeague? - 15/01/2013 02:52 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 10 286

By iliketurtles - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 207

You deserved it 7 726

By lucywatson - 06/05/2016 19:06 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a veterinarian, I received a complaint from a client. He said I sucked at my job, purely because I implied he should have brought his severely ill cat in a lot sooner. Which he should have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 277

You deserved it 864

Kids say the funniest things

By embarrassedmom - 18/05/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair whose leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?" He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 379

You deserved it 25 883

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 17:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend still won't get a job, because he's convinced he's going to make millions inventing and selling carbonated ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 177

You deserved it 2 940

Creeped out

By deadman - 25/05/2020 02:00

Today, my mom came in my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Out of pure instinct, from hours of doing this to my girlfriend in this exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother-son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go" before I let her leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 1 927

Planned Parenthood

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 22:01 - United States

Today, I got the biggest shock in my life, I'm a mistake, and the only reason why I wasn't put up for adoption is because of the tax refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 121

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 334

You deserved it 2 592

By ugh - 05/03/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 076

You deserved it 8 731

By kiwi2323 - 26/09/2012 01:48 - United States

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 3 330

By Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 546

You deserved it 3 257

By family heirloom gone - 17/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband threw away the cast iron skillet my family has cooked with for generations because it had some specks of rust that were perfectly fixable. My 5th great-grandfather had that skillet in 1890 when he was a chuck wagon driver for the cowboys during their cattle drives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 013

You deserved it 231

By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 266

You deserved it 2 480

By Anoymous - 18/09/2013 18:31 - Slovakia - Bratislava

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 150

You deserved it 11 999

By boyfriend123 - 18/08/2011 10:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 704

You deserved it 3 470

Kids…

By Satan'sChildren - 28/04/2013 02:30 - United States - Oak Creek

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 522

You deserved it 3 245

By badatlove - 03/11/2016 20:42 - United States

Today, I climbed to the top of the tallest building in my city with this guy I really like. He spotted the girl he had a crush on, and wouldn't shut up about her for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 986

By sucks_brah - 25/12/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 220

You deserved it 2 506

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 23:01

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 393

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 791

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 402

You deserved it 5 781

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 05:29 - Europe

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 584

You deserved it 18 185

By liveviathetredmill - 01/10/2012 20:04 - United States - New York

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 944

You deserved it 5 053

By Julia - 02/08/2010 09:50 - New Zealand

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 745

You deserved it 38 191

By whoawhat - 11/11/2009 06:55 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 478

You deserved it 4 008

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 888

You deserved it 3 916

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 743

You deserved it 2 691

Ice cold break-up

By Ice cold - 22/11/2012 05:35 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 325

You deserved it 1 747

Great mom you got there

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 05:01

Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 134

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Top comments

ahhrealmonsters 0

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:38

Oh man! You shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place! But what a asshole!

ricin_poisoning 0

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:39

People need to learn not to tattoo their boyfriend/girlfriend's names on them.

Doorhandle57 0

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:38

ahh that sucks!

arsenalfcboy 6

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Thursday 22 October 2009 18:53

Spoken like a true Essex girl :P

alyxbabayy 0

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Saturday 6 February 2010 8:47

i would fucking murder him

funloveinnewyork 0

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Tuesday 4 May 2010 4:17

if you got his name in the heart you could just fill it in

dont_stop_believ 0

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Friday 28 May 2010 7:42

just find another bf with same name. only people named that name!

My2864 1

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Wednesday 7 July 2010 16:07

yeh seriously stab him and repeat the reminder part .. thats fucked up.. but then again YOUR dumb enough to get a tattoo of someone elses name who isnt related to you most relationship. DO NOT last fo evahh even though you love em so much this is just another example

Doclight_fml 0

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Wednesday 18 August 2010 2:47

I agree murder is in order.

brianjman14 22

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Monday 6 September 2010 5:06

I want to say FYL and YDI. YDI for getting a tattoo of a boyfriend's name, but still, FYL cause that was a total asshole thing of him to do.

simpleplan239999 1

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

bigboobies44 0

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Monday 20 June 2011 11:18

hey beautiful

musiclexii124 0

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Monday 27 June 2011 6:14

I'm sorry but he's a legit asshole.

JipvS 15

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Saturday 16 July 2011 20:45

I would definitely have sent my mom to his house.

rplovez 9

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Tuesday 27 September 2011 4:25

at least he paid for it...? lol :P

Sammeh_Higgins 0

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:05

#1 rule of tattoos. Do not under any circumstances get your "significant" others named tattooed on your body.

aimzskee 30

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Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:52

Wow. The boyfriend really is a douche

ahhrealmonsters 0

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:38

Oh man! You shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place! But what a asshole!

musicphreakk 0

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Sunday 11 September 2011 6:02

she should get 'is an asshole' tattooed under it

babe7260 30

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Friday 6 April 2012 9:37

Total ASSHOLE

Lover447 4

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Thursday 19 July 2012 0:09

Oh my god

damn_homie 2

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Sunday 6 January 2013 21:13

That is so fucked up. NEVER get a tattoo of anybody's name! NEVER!

frecklefacee 6

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Saturday 16 March 2013 18:32

never, EVER get someone's name tattooed on your body....EVER.

Wingman527 22

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Thursday 28 August 2014 0:15

Love hurts?

mich23 10

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:39

hes an asshole, FYL

pmk72693 0

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Tuesday 30 November 2010 0:52

That guy is a GENIUS

soiree_fml 0

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:39

Totally sucks, but YDI for getting a SO's name tattooed on you. Did Johnny Depp not take a hit for the team when he had to change Winona Forever to WINO forever?

Saffron Nightshade 12

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Tuesday 6 February 2018 20:20

LOL did that really happen?

ricin_poisoning 0

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:39

People need to learn not to tattoo their boyfriend/girlfriend's names on them.

incoming_pudding 9

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Monday 26 February 2018 4:52

When I was sitting for my most recent one the conversation between my tattoo artist and I ended up at this exact topic and he was saying how he now refuses to tattoo a significant others name on someone as he refers to it as the kids of death! Every single person he's tattooed a spouses/partners name on has split up with the person, whose name was tattooed within a few months! Obviously I couldn't speak for how true this is but if it's only fabricated to scare people off of the idea then it definitely works as I certainly wouldn't do it even if I were paid!

yer_maw 1

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Monday 25 May 2009 23:39

:O What a bastard

Etherial 0

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Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:33

Agreed. I say OP knocks him out cold and pays for a tattoo on his junk that says "[OP's name] was here" That will teach him - nice little reminder for the rest of his life.