The Top

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Classic

By rejected - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said, "Well, you could always ask me." I then said, "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was, "Nope… now that's 8!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 593

You deserved it 28 962

Hyperloop

By disfordiploma - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 655

You deserved it 28 520

Overjoyed

By madiison09 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale Law School saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing… even the bottom of the letter, which said, "April fools' ! Love, Mom and Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 765

You deserved it 6 614

We meet again

By laprochainefoisjerestealamaison - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - France - Montpellier

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 992

You deserved it 5 182

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 050

You deserved it 3 646

You're welcome!

By phonegotlostinthepark - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 484

You deserved it 4 210

Realistic

By thesitter - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see, but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 591

You deserved it 8 278

Amazing idea, idiots

By zain - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 299

You deserved it 3 753

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 832

You deserved it 2 974

This is fine

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 221

You deserved it 3 651

Shudder

By Ohgodmother - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Hobart

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 758

You deserved it 4 076

Hazing ritual

By newguy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 548

You deserved it 4 873

Butterfly

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 550

You deserved it 2 868

Ghost rider

By mellbelle32 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 528

You deserved it 3 573

Oh really? No way!

By verydepressed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Russian Federation - Seversk

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 308

You deserved it 3 752

Lazy ass

By crizzy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 080

You deserved it 4 327

Photoshopped

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 953

You deserved it 4 043

No more treats

By Fatty1970 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 261

You deserved it 20 049

Petty officer

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 135

You deserved it 3 749

Uglies

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 13 668

Creep from the past

By annoyed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 480

You deserved it 2 948

Afterthought

By too slow - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend we should start seeing other people. She said, "Don't worry, I'm already way ahead of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 600

You deserved it 9 901

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 190

You deserved it 4 078

Another one bites the dust

By fail - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 052

You deserved it 68 529

Logical

By hooligyn123 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 795

You deserved it 1 903

Stuck

By Fackwork - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Council Bluffs

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 682

You deserved it 10 330

Jumpy

By nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Allen

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 9 314

College rules

By littlekellilee - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 323

You deserved it 2 620

Broke

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Stony Point

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 417

You deserved it 4 957

Salt meet wound

By max5 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France - Casseneuil

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 261

You deserved it 2 957

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Public freakouts Cops Kids Fight Love Money Work Music Students Religion Embarrassing Miscellaneous Relatable Mental health Coworkers Awkward My ex Gross LGBTQIA+ Heartbreak Politics School Education Sleep Annoying YouTube Shopping Parents Transportation Ironic

The Top

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll, towards a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 843

You deserved it 8 850

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 537

You deserved it 7 814

The Top

Today, I went to test start my generator because there is a big wind storm coming in (a bomb cyclone according to the news). As I was pull-starting the generator, the rope broke. OK. Went to Home Depot to get a new rope and installed it. I broke the spring assembly installing the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 76

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 574

You deserved it 6 064

Today, after dumping my ex for being married, I realized he'd been my best friend too, and I have no one to tell the funny, mundane bits about my day. I never realized until now how much I needed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 296

Today, someone stole my fence and my bulldog got out. I had to go look for her yelling her name in the street. When I found her and brought her back home, she peed in the house as revenge for me not letting her play with the terrified old couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 833

You deserved it 264

Today, I found out while pet-sitting that a white cat is no easier to see in the dark than a black cat. I also found out that this particular cat doesn't take kindly to being accidentally kicked, even if it wasn't that hard. My feet have seen better days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 302

Today, I walked into my office, rocking my new noise-canceling headphones. Turns out, they work so well that I didn’t hear my coworker trying to warn me about the wet floor. Now I’m the proud owner of a bruised hip and a security camera video making the rounds on our Slack channels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 427