Cars

C'mon, do me a solid

By comeonnow - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Coldwater

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 731

You deserved it 788

Time to push

By Caden - 15/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I left the house to DoorDash and remembered that I forgot to get gas last night. I had just enough gasoline to make it to Costco for better prices. It wasn’t until I pulled in that I realized I'd left my wallet at home. I have approximately two miles of gas left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 279

Neighborhood watch

By Chris - 14/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Madison

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to tell me I'd left my car window open. I thanked him, went outside, and discovered it wasn't my car. He had just spent five minutes checking a stranger's vehicle because it looked like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 67

Roadside blues

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 00:00 - France - Marseille

Today, I locked myself out of my car while the engine was running. I called roadside assistance, waited 40 minutes, then watched a stranger walk past, point at the unlocked passenger door, and open it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 374

Forecast, my arse!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I washed my car because rain wasn't in the forecast. It started pouring before I'd even finished drying it. The weather app still insists it's "Sunny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 77

Bastard!

By copper - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 311

You deserved it 3 713

Showtime

By dumbass - 03/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I spent 5 minutes trying to get into my car because the key fob wouldn't work. It wasn't my car. Same model, same colour, same parking spot, just wrong floor. The actual owner was watching me struggle from the Aldi trolley station the whole time, clearly amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 271

Foolproof plan

By spark - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 231

You deserved it 10 155

Drive away

By Suzanne - 02/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I took my car in because of a strange rattling noise. The mechanic charged me nothing, just handed me back my reusable water bottle that had been rolling around under the passenger seat for three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 421

Horny dudes

By Fonz - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 557

You deserved it 57 618

A whole mess

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I parked at the airport and rushed inside. TSA pulled me into a back room for screening, including a rectal exam, then let me go, but I missed my flight. Back at my car, there was a note on the windshield: “I know what you did, John. Lock your doors next time.” (My name isn't John) and I found a pile of shit on my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 104

Confused

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Niles

Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 249

You deserved it 1 751

Time comes for everyone

By So old - 22/07/2026 03:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my favorite band from my teenage years was played on an oldies station on the car radio. To make matters worse, my sixteen year-old niece who was in the car, had never heard of them. I’m only 31, but damn, I feel old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 136

Free Parking!

By Parked - 19/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I took the last parking spot in a crowded lot, got out feeling victorious, then immediately stepped in a puddle deep enough to soak my foot all the way through to my sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 108

Life in the fast line

By tracey - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going 85 mph in a 60 mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch, even though the other cars were topping 100 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 386

You deserved it 17 976

To make an omelette

By EggyBum - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 253

You deserved it 30 950

Let's go for a walk

By jonloran - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Incline Village

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 167

You deserved it 2 351

Loot

By ScrewedForCheapBag - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sacramento

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 753

You deserved it 2 681

Hero of the hour

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I stopped a car with its handbrake off from rolling into a group of kids by holding it until it stopped with me half under the tyre, dislocating my knee. Everyone said I was a hero except my dad, who threw an empty can at me because now I can’t push his wheelchair to the working men’s club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 51

Brake check

By Suzie - 03/07/2026 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 435

Be careful with that axe, Eugene

By Shredded - 02/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally had enough to buy my dream guitar, made in 1965. I buckled it into the passenger seat because it unfortunately didn't come with the original case. Once home, I tripped over my own feet before reaching my front door and scratched it on the concrete. It wasn't in mint condition when I bought it, but now it looks like it had a bad relic job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 155

The Apprentice coded

By Anonymous - 26/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as part of a group project, we are spending a week with the guys who design Formula 1 cars. The role was I assigned was marketing and merchandise, so while the rest of my team get to talk to engineers and work on real engines, I’m sat designing T-shirts and writing fake magazine articles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 67

Muffled

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was driving to get groceries when my muffler fell off. I need to get it fixed or else I’ll lose my job, and my job is far away from where I live. If I take an Uber or anything, it will be taking most of my paycheck. Man, FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 69

Road rage

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 077

You deserved it 34 427

Just checking

By whytoday - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 164

You deserved it 45 551

Clunker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Austin

Today, a customer came in complaining about a weird noise in her car. I took it for a quick test drive, heard nothing, then told her it was probably nothing serious. The second I pulled back into the lot, the hood popped open because I hadn’t latched it properly after checking the fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 401

Here in my car

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just a week after replacing my car's head gasket in a 7-hour job, my car's timing desynced. Fixing it could take 6 hours. Maybe I should just walk everywhere from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 82

Let the man have his hobbies

By hildi - 07/06/2026 09:00 - Switzerland

Today, my husband is such a cheap-ass that he spent two days underneath his old beater car with an angle grinder and a welding rig, grinding off some old rusty supports, and welding on new ones. He makes enough money to throw that thing in the scrapyard and buy a brand new car. I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 532

Scummy and scammy

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I've saved enough money to buy a new car, but the dealers wouldn't sell any to me unless I agreed to finance, which is not what I wanted to do because I had enough to flat-out buy. After a screaming argument, I left empty-handed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 80

Nice try, bozo

By dreefsa - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 015

You deserved it 2 370

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The Top

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 3 053

Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while." It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 083

You deserved it 5 064

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 579

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 481

Today, I learned that my best friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for 2 months. This is the same person who, 2 months ago, wanted to break our friendship off because he thought we "got too close" and felt like he was cheating on his girlfriend by spending too much time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 101

You deserved it 279

Today, I saw a woman struggling to hold the elevator. Trying to be helpful, I jumped forward and pressed the “close doors” button, thinking it was “open doors.” The doors shut right in her face. I had to awkwardly ride up ten floors in silence with three witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 359