By Anonymous - 7/2/2020 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton New one Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML I agree, your life sucks 2863 You deserved it 333 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner" - 7/2/2020 14:00 Temper tantrum Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML I agree, your life sucks 1988 You deserved it 237 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By billjoebob424 - 7/2/2020 01:00 - Canada My pleasure Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML I agree, your life sucks 1933 You deserved it 603 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/2/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne Session done! Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML I agree, your life sucks 1960 You deserved it 281 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 2/2/2020 18:00 Don't worry dad Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML I agree, your life sucks 2796 You deserved it 413 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JerryClark - 2/2/2020 14:00 - United States - San Bernardino So beautiful! Today, my best female friend sent me a nude to make sure it looked good before she sent it to the guy she likes. FML I agree, your life sucks 2476 You deserved it 438 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 30/1/2020 20:00 Someone else Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML I agree, your life sucks 3520 You deserved it 295 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By got got - 30/1/2020 14:00 Great help Today, I just moved in with my friend and had my brother help with the move. Later that night both my brother and my friend wouldn't let me sleep because of how loud the sex was. FML I agree, your life sucks 2024 You deserved it 257 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wifewithquestions - 26/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Clarksville Mysterious Today, I found male enhancers hidden in the back of the car, which I'm assuming are my husband's, but we haven't been having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 2350 You deserved it 304 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/1/2020 14:00 Fact of scratching Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML I agree, your life sucks 2941 You deserved it 236 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alerra - 20/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Baton Rouge Not mine Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 2071 You deserved it 202 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/1/2020 18:00 Romantic gesture Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 5694 You deserved it 227 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By need not know - 19/1/2020 05:00 Still married Today, while fixing my dad's phone, I saw Tinder installed. He's still married to my mum. FML I agree, your life sucks 2692 You deserved it 194 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/1/2020 18:00 Strange flight Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 2955 You deserved it 237 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihmmil - 18/1/2020 14:00 Belly Finger Today, my husband was trying to be sexy. He asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger"! Major mood kill. FML I agree, your life sucks 2209 You deserved it 270 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2020 20:00 After shower Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the locks broke) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML I agree, your life sucks 2423 You deserved it 225 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 16/1/2020 18:00 I am clumsy! Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 2128 You deserved it 2740 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By irulan - 14/1/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London Single shot Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML I agree, your life sucks 2300 You deserved it 523 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 10/1/2020 18:00 Volcanic eruption Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML I agree, your life sucks 2943 You deserved it 848 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By John Doe - 10/1/2020 05:00 Still the same Today, my mom showed to my girlfriend my naked baby photos. My girlfriend said, "Nothing’s changed." FML I agree, your life sucks 2395 You deserved it 294 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notaslut - 8/1/2020 22:00 - United States - Greeley Stay safe Today, I walked into my best friend's house and her mom threw a box of condoms at me and said, "Stay safe, slut." FML I agree, your life sucks 2391 You deserved it 512 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KindStranger - 4/1/2020 20:00 - United Kingdom - Shrewsbury Getting frisky Today, I was walking home when I thought I saw a man beating up a woman in a phone box, I opened the door and pulled the man of the woman, turns out they where just "getting frisky" FML I agree, your life sucks 1805 You deserved it 473 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Perry85 - 4/1/2020 05:00 Once again Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML I agree, your life sucks 789 You deserved it 2925 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 2/1/2020 18:00 Hard to believe Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 3895 You deserved it 481 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente Explication between girl Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking this to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2310 You deserved it 310 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 26/12/2019 01:00 The girl? Today, my mate was bragging about the nudes he was getting from this random girl, he proceeded to show me... It was my cousin. FML I agree, your life sucks 2319 You deserved it 225 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/12/2019 18:00 Travel gift Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML I agree, your life sucks 1093 You deserved it 2604 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "princessmia" - 13/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Sequim Felt so bad Today, my little brother played my phone, and then accidentally sent a nude photo of mine to our step-dad, and now I have to spend all day with him and my mom on a road trip. FML I agree, your life sucks 1015 You deserved it 2133 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford Courtesy visit Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2178 You deserved it 296 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00 Not my turn Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML I agree, your life sucks 2832 You deserved it 868 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I was in online class, my mum sent me a happy friendship day post. She knew that I didn't have many friends. I was happy but asked her why as she... I agree, your life sucks 1 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I learned that the girl of my dreams can be with me because her father doesn't want her to be with a black guy. I've never met anyone else who made... I agree, your life sucks 4 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact... I agree, your life sucks 336 You deserved it 35 6 Comments
Today, I flew from Texas to meet my new girlfriend's family in Georgia. Turns out her sister was a random hookup I had a year earlier on a business trip,... I agree, your life sucks 769 You deserved it 1257 9 Comments