By - 21/2/2020 18:00 Woe is me! Today, Had sex with some random girl off Tinder to make my ex jealous. I received gonorrhea from her and she's pregnant and not going to abort. This random girl is the 2nd girl I have ever slept with in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 397 You deserved it 2286 21 2 30 96 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/2/2020 18:00 Who is that? Today, while me and my husband had sex, I called my husband "Gabe". That's nowhere near his name and I don't even know a Gabe. He then asked what that means "Gabe darling". FML I agree, your life sucks 1026 You deserved it 427 20 5 11 80 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Beth is shamed - 14/2/2020 12:00 Sensual surprise Today, I wanted to surprise my husband because of valentine's day by being naked with a towel. I waited behind a door for him to enter. When he arrived, I dropped my towel to not only flash him? but to show him also that I am clean. FML I agree, your life sucks 788 You deserved it 886 197 10 14 38 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 13/2/2020 19:00 I don't care Today, my girlfriend sends me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I was cheating on her. I got angry with her but later used the video to masturbate. FML I agree, your life sucks 476 You deserved it 3551 38 8 23 295 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 12/2/2020 18:00 Right in the millet Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and our grandma walked in the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 797 You deserved it 2034 65 17 198 103 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By enchilada_ice_cream - 11/2/2020 18:00 Crazy and Spicy Today, my wife and I tried to spice up our sex by blindfolding her. She started saying it felt good inside her, but I hadn’t gone in yet. I look down and our hamster escaped from its cage and was crawling inside her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1701 You deserved it 494 63 7 345 90 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 8/2/2020 18:00 Crazy party Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 1893 You deserved it 234 22 6 34 135 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 5/2/2020 20:00 Big surprise Today, I went to write "Happy birthday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 3060 You deserved it 202 80 12 245 88 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 3/2/2020 20:00 I did it Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 2697 You deserved it 445 16 6 273 126 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 1/2/2020 18:00 Young kids Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML I agree, your life sucks 2278 You deserved it 1120 49 11 297 98 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 30/1/2020 20:00 Someone else Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML I agree, your life sucks 2528 You deserved it 210 82 10 181 53 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 26/1/2020 20:00 Early show Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML I agree, your life sucks 1983 You deserved it 408 8 6 37 238 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 25/1/2020 18:00 Please do it Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML I agree, your life sucks 2525 You deserved it 269 183 6 114 46 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/1/2020 18:00 Just love! Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 1680 You deserved it 409 9 15 10 272 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/1/2020 18:00 Take a walk Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 2778 You deserved it 282 104 12 218 140 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/1/2020 18:00 Romantic gesture Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 4542 You deserved it 176 123 12 448 33 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/1/2020 18:00 Strange flight Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 2396 You deserved it 181 27 2 72 160 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 16/1/2020 18:00 I am clumsy! Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1732 You deserved it 2086 7 11 13 528 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oof - 15/1/2020 18:00 Keep calm please! Today, while things were getting hot and heavy with my boyfriend, we were making out and our nose rings got stuck together... it took us 20 minutes to get them unhooked. I was the calm one in the situation while my boyfriend nearly cried like a baby. I agree, your life sucks 1816 You deserved it 1197 14 9 7 296 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 14/1/2020 20:00 - Madagascar Delicious coffee Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML I agree, your life sucks 2847 You deserved it 367 38 16 74 352 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 13/1/2020 18:00 Science teacher Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 2227 You deserved it 183 24 4 36 311 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "g_i_raffe" - 11/1/2020 18:00 The end Today, my boyfriend and I had to go downstairs during sex as it was too hot to function upstairs. I threw the bottle of lube downstairs to him, it hit him in the dick. We couldn't continue. FML I agree, your life sucks 1821 You deserved it 997 27 6 12 322 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 10/1/2020 18:00 Volcanic eruption Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML I agree, your life sucks 2398 You deserved it 666 21 12 29 415 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 7/1/2020 18:00 Negative response Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML I agree, your life sucks 3515 You deserved it 1431 210 19 99 158 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 4/1/2020 18:00 The best method! Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML I agree, your life sucks 2295 You deserved it 673 45 29 37 408 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 2/1/2020 18:00 Hard to believe Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 3282 You deserved it 405 223 9 43 93 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 29/12/2020 18:00 Parents love Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 2178 You deserved it 912 751 21 77 30 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 27/12/2019 20:00 Our anniversary Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2098 You deserved it 399 48 13 22 304 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 26/12/2019 20:00 Christmas shopping Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML I agree, your life sucks 1925 You deserved it 169 18 8 51 224 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 25/12/2019 18:00 What does it mean? Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2652 You deserved it 183 40 8 261 42 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I woke up in my group home to my alarm. I went downstairs to take medications I’m perscribed for psychosis I don’t even present symptoms for yet... I agree, your life sucks 16 You deserved it 4 0 Comments