By creepermagnet - United States
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
creepermagnet tells us more :
Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.
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Top comments
  FMLrockzdude  |  0

u said u guyz were joking. he was just joking gosh this is a stupid FML, learn to take a joke u jackass girl

  sunlovinmama  |  1

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  Onoconah  |  11

why jump to conclusions so fast! he could have been joking! Maybe his sense of humor is just different from others. I laughed way to hard at that so maybe that's just my opinion but don't freak out over something so small


Oh my gosh, I have to remember that. I'm gonna say that to everyone in school, including my chemistry and biology teachers, I wonder how they'll react. I'll twitter about it or post it here somewhere. Haha.

  TorturedXeno  |  27

It's too awesomely hilarious to be true.
... or IS IT? XD