Work, Your everyday life stories

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Today, my CEO called and spoke to me like I'm a child. Apparently, she has a surprise for me, "but only if I clean up my office first." She hasn't been to my office in months because she works in another state. Turns out, someone texted her a picture of my messy office. FML

By hatedatwork - 2/9/2019 13:00 - United States - Shreveport

Thanks mom!

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1573

Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML

By Anonymous - 2/9/2019 11:00 - Canada - Lakeville

Cash me?

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Today, after waking up in a panic since I slept through my alarm, I hurriedly got ready and started speeding to work. On the way, I texted my boss to apologize for running late. His response? "It's Saturday." FML

By viabbey - 24/8/2019 16:00 - United States - Cadillac

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Today, I held the door open for someone and he said, "Thank you!" I said, "Thank you!" back. FML

By Anonymous - 27/7/2019 15:01 - United States - Pomona

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Today, I was told I have kidney stones, kidney infections, and a bladder infection and that I have to get admitted into the hospital. I let my boss know, and she replied, "But you're still coming in for your shift tonight, right?" FML

By lxygrl - 20/7/2019 13:07 - United States - Phenix City

2052

Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML

By TooFast - 21/7/2019 02:00 - Australia - Mount Druitt

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Today, I watched a customer open a bottle of salad dressing, taste it, then just put it back on the shelf. FML

By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 22:30

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Today, I was so zoned-out, I shouted a hello to the chair in the staff room. It's the third time today I've mistaken an inanimate object for a person. FML

By Anonymous - 3/7/2019 21:00 - Canada

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Today, I realized why a female colleague keeps asking me if I'm high when I'm not. All I'm thinking when I see her is how glad I am to see her. Dilated pupils, flushed face, stupid grin on my face? I'm not high. I'm in love with her. She's married. Oh, and she wants to be my roommate for a year. FML

By Spanner - 25/4/2019 00:00

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Today, I met the man of my dreams. Insane click. He’s just as in love with me. He’s also got a condition I research in my job. It’s literally unethical for us to date. FML

By JellicleCat - 24/4/2019 19:00 - United Kingdom - London

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Today, my boss told me that he didn’t want to promote me because my, “scores were too good.” He then told me that I would be getting twice as much work to do than my coworkers, without a raise. I work minimum wage. FML

By Ihatemyjob - 24/4/2019 06:00 - United States

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Today, during a meeting, the president of the honor society apologized for being out for a couple of days due to the flu, and wanted to get everything back on track. I mumbled that she hadn't shown good leadership by being out. I guess she heard me, because she said, “Neither does being a teen mom.” FML

By upset mom - 24/4/2019 04:00

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Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML

By Is McDonald's Hiring? - 23/4/2019 12:00

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Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. Best part is I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML

By DingusGinger - 21/4/2019 02:00

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Today, we had an office party. I got extremely drunk and invited my younger coworker into the bathroom to make out repeatedly. Not only did he reject me multiple times, but he also looked super traumatised and hasn’t said a word to me since. FML

By Justanotherwreck - 20/4/2019 16:00

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Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

By lifeguardfuckup - 14/2/2019 15:17 - United States

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Today, I had a meeting with HR that resulted in me being dismissed for poor performance. I was confused because up until that point, my line manager had said my performance was exemplary. Turns out it wasn't, and he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to be stressed. FML

By - 19/12/2018 13:00 - United Kingdom - Colchester

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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Today, despite the schedule saying I was off, I found out I’m supposed to be working because my boss changed the schedule without my knowledge. FML

By MBrabs1996 - 19/12/2018 05:00

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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Today, I have a busy week scheduled at work, so I took my file home to smash out some reports. Naturally I did not do any work at home and then I also forgot to take the file back to work the next day. Instead of saving time, I wasted an hour driving home to collect it. FML

By Anonymous - 17/12/2018 13:30

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Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML

By Greg - 16/12/2018 13:30

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Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML

By drew the short straw - 15/12/2018 13:30

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Today I got back to my hotel at the same time as my supervisor and realized we had rooms right next to each other. I thought it was funny and said bye to him...only to remember that I had slept with HIS boss last night. We were not quiet. FML

By - 13/12/2018 03:00

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Today, my mother once again called me to remind me what a disappointment I am despite having two degrees, a house, a professional job and having never been unemployed at 25. FML

By Mick_The_Disappointment - 11/12/2018 15:30

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Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

By - 10/12/2018 22:00

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Today, my two co-workers got the promotion we were all working for. The reason they got the promotion and not me? My interview got cancelled because of a policy change, implemented that day. FML

By Anoniem - 10/12/2018 17:30 - Netherlands

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Today, my coworker spilled sticky fruit glaze all over my cake display cake and left it overnight uncleaned. The same display case I spent 2 hours cleaning the day before. FML

By Kaitlyn Aronson - 7/12/2018 15:30

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Today my job started requiring all transactions regarding cigarettes or alcohol to have the ID scanned before proceeding. There is no way yo bypass this function. I carded a 60 year old man and his 40 year old son who both yelled at me for 10 minutes. FML

By IDPlease - 7/12/2018 03:00

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Today, I work in retail and today this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML

By iwillcutyou - 6/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

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Today, I have gastro. I sent a text my husband: “It’s definitely a don’t trust a fart day, thankfully haven’t been caught out yet”, but accidentally text my manager instead. FML

By Distrusting - 4/12/2018 17:30

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