FML : Work, Your everyday life stories

Today, I drove a total of 4 hours for my boss to demote me, downgrade my pay, and make the kid I hired my new boss. Why? Because I asked about the $500 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Dino - / Sunday 21 October 2018 14:00 /

Today, I emailed my boss to let her know I was uncomfortable working over what my university’s 28-hour policy allows. She demanded I work 40 hours this week. In any other job, I'd be fine, but if I work over 28 hours, the university will fire me. If I refuse to work 28 hours, my boss will fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Why me. - / Saturday 20 October 2018 11:30 / United States - Kent

World

Portugal

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I dislike the most, to which I blurted out "people". I don't think I'm landing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Lubitueh - / Friday 19 October 2018 02:00 / Portugal - Carnaxide

Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Professional_Ars - / Thursday 18 October 2018 12:00 /

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By SaraSkyWolf - / Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:00 /

Today, my employer gave me a gift to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my hire date. It would have been a really nice gesture if they weren't laying me off at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Abby - / Wednesday 17 October 2018 08:00 / United States - Watertown

Today, I was wrapping up a 30+ hour commission when a software bug caused my main layer to delete itself. There doesn't appear to be any way I can restore it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By dustlander.com - / Tuesday 16 October 2018 07:30 / United States - Provo

Today, I helped an older guy with his safe deposit box. He said it's perfect for holding his ex-wife's remains and laughed. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Mrs. Awkward - / Monday 15 October 2018 12:00 /

World

Germany

Today, my boss gave our coffee machine to her sister-in-law. I work in a cafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By H.B - / Sunday 14 October 2018 17:30 / Germany

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Professional_Ars - / Sunday 14 October 2018 14:00 /

World

Australia

Today, after two months of lab research, I finally had a day off. I decided to treat myself to gourmet sun-dried tomatoes, as well as some fresh pasta for dinner. I split the entire pot of boiling water down my body and spent nearly 7 hours at the hospital. I also vomited the tomatoes up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ClumsyDumbsy - / Saturday 13 October 2018 23:00 / Australia

Today, at work, a table of girls complained to the manager about me. The complaint? "He's not hot enough to work here. We want a sexy server." The manager agreed with them and sent me home. I might lose my job because of a table of shallow women. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Friday 12 October 2018 22:30 /

Today, my boss yelled at me for having Facebook open at work. That's fine, I closed it and continued on with my work. In a meeting later on I could see the reflection of my boss's laptop screen in a mirror behind her desk. For two hours, I watched her scroll through her Facebook feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Double Standard - / Friday 12 October 2018 08:30 / United States - Menasha

Today, I asked a guy to change into a gown for an X-ray exam. I asked him to leave his underwear on, everything else off. Apparently he was going commando, as he left skid marks on my table when the exam was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Radbaby - / Friday 12 October 2018 03:00 /

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By BloodyNoseMcgee - / Thursday 11 October 2018 15:30 /

Today, I was offered a position as a trainer at a great company. My manager was livid when I told her. This is after she told me I was wasting my time trying to become a trainer and if I wanted to become one, I should apply elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Thursday 11 October 2018 13:30 /

Today, I worked a 12-hour shift. Today my parents' cat also had diarrhoea. Rather than clean it up when said cat projectile shat all through my bed, they simply closed my door and left it for me. Since it's in my room, apparently it's my problem. They can't understand why I'm pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Yuck - / Thursday 11 October 2018 05:00 /

Today, while working at a chain restaurant, I forgot to charge someone a few dollars for extra toppings on the side. My stingy boss took the time to take that money out of my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By danny - / Wednesday 10 October 2018 12:00 /

World

Australia

Today, while finally settling in our new house after months of being rejected for jobs as I lived in a rural area too far from everything, I heard back from my dream job. I was rejected because our new place is too far from the business. The old place would've been fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Aussie girl - / Tuesday 9 October 2018 15:30 / Australia

Today, I had to take my eyes off my kid for a minute to respond to an important work email. I was about to click send when I heard a flushing sound and mad giggling. It was the TV remote. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By TiredParent - / Tuesday 9 October 2018 12:00 /

Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Poorlittlelady - / Monday 8 October 2018 22:00 / United States - Birmingham

Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By wdones97 - / Monday 8 October 2018 14:00 /

Today, at work, I took a call from an angry customer. After listening to his problem and fully explaining how we could fix it, he called me a stupid girl and said I need more training as I obviously know nothing about my job. I'm the company training coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By IGiveUp - / Sunday 7 October 2018 13:30 /

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Woody - / Saturday 6 October 2018 14:00 / United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my husband cancelled our internet and cable package because we’re having money problems. I work from home and need the internet to do so. I guess getting a job of his own wasn’t an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 6 October 2018 17:30 /

Today, I got my very first paycheck of $129 for over 40 hours of work. I got paid roughly $3.00 an hour. Alaska minimum is $9.50 per hour, and my HR office is refusing to answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 6 October 2018 13:30 /

Today, my boss told me I might get fired because I didn't break up a fist fight. I am over 7 months pregnant and both of the people who were fighting are bigger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Nebraskawreck - / Saturday 6 October 2018 12:00 /

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By NotTakenYet - / Friday 5 October 2018 22:05 /

Today, I visited my girlfriend in the preschool she's interning at. She asked me to continue reading The Little Mermaid to her class, handing me the book. After the story, the whole class started to cry. She never told me to sugarcoat the ending and lie, Disney-style. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By I was just following orders! - / Thursday 4 October 2018 12:00 /

Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Thursday 4 October 2018 03:00 /

FML

Nearly

Today, my mentally disabled brother chose to come out to our entire southern family while he was giving a eulogy at our grandfather's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today my daughter told me her tummy hurt but I assumed she was lying because she hates visiting her grandma. About 20 minutes into the car ride she gets...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

Loading data…

Bosnia and Herzegovina

Today, I had to go to the hospital because I broke my leg in a sex accident. The doctor is my boyfriend's mom. I had to explain everything to her. FML

Australia

Today, my fiancée and I saw my parents at a store. This would've been a nice surprise if it wasn't a sex shop. FML

See all the World FMLs

Photos

See all FML photos

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Spicy FMLs