Work, Your everyday life stories

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Today, I had a meeting with my boss, while walking to the meeting room, I feel a fart building up. I ignore it. As I prepare to sit down in the small room my body decided to release the gas with special sound effects I tried to disguise by coughing but the smell had already reached my boss’s nose. FML

By - 17/2/2020 13:00

Quick stench

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313

Today, I had to do some really hard maths. I had an idea to crack it, then went looking for a rubber to rub out my other equations. When I came back, I forgot the idea. FML

By - 14/2/2020 20:00

Short memory

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349

Today, my wife informed me that she could lose her job at the local high school, why? she accidentally sent a student a nude photo of her that she meant to send to me. FML

By - 9/2/2020 05:00

fatal error

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Today, while at work my boss congrats me on how good my new wife is. She's the reason I got this job. FML

By anonymous - 5/2/2020 20:00 - United States

Beautiful wife

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Today, I went to the bathroom at work only to walk in finding my boss shaving his pubes. This was the day before the inspection worker came in. FML

By Super_Asian_Boy - 29/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Minneapolis

The inspection comes

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105

Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML

By Anonymous - 28/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Oakland

On time

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Today on the way to work a homeless man approached me and asked from some change, I politely rejected his request and kept on walking. He then shouted at me, called me cheap, and he threw up on me! I had to go back home and get changed, as a result, I was late for work, and my boss was yelled at me because of it. FML

By Anonymous - 26/1/2020 20:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Ask the reason first

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Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

By - 26/1/2020 20:00

Early show

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Today, I was told to be present for a meeting that started at 5pm. I arrived 15 minutes early, and I was late for the meeting. This happens regularly. FML

By ThreeHoursEarly - 24/1/2020 01:00

What's the time, please?

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Today, I decided to take my car to work as I had some errands to do after. I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML

By "penne_pasta580802" - 23/1/2020 14:00

Ultimately

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Today, I was woken up at 3am by my apartment building's fire alarm. I loaded up my cats in their crates, brought them outside and realized it was below freezing (-5C or 23F) and snowing. I stood on the sidewalk in my thin Pyjamas and just watched the firefighters went into the wrong building... FML

By alyosaurus - 21/1/2020 01:00

Wrong address

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Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him full force dead center in the chest right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

By - 18/1/2020 05:00

Very frustrating

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Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

By Yoir mom - 16/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Very bad idea

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Today, it was my first day of work, and I was wondering why everyone was staring and laughing at me. I looked down and I realized that the fly on my jeans was open. FML

By dumbass724 - 13/1/2020 14:00 - Canada - Brampton

First day at work

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Today at work, we had a fun thing called "ugly contest" where we dress up as ugly as we can. I decided to not join this year. I walked up there to look at the contest when someone said to me "sorry, no Professionals" and I did not even wear a costume. He thought I wore a costume on. FML

By TheSadCatLady - 13/1/2020 01:00

Ugly contest

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Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

By I'mSoHungry - 11/1/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

I am very hungry

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Today, at work, I was helping a customer over the phone. Another customer came and asked me a question. I let them know I'd be with them shortly. They then said "I really think you should hang up. The customer is always first." FML

By retailworker - 9/1/2020 14:00

Customer service

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Today I was dogsitting, and when I let my charge out, she ate her poop before I could clean it up. Then, she thought it would be a good idea to lick my face. Repeatedly. FML

By The Dogsitter - 5/1/2020 05:00

Not a lesson!

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Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

By - 30/12/2020 18:00

I am sorry

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Today I tried to help a blind man cross the street. After getting to the other side, he looked me in the eye and grabbed my boob. I didn't know what to do. FML

By desireesun - 28/12/2019 20:00 - Canada - Calgary

Naughty man

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Today, all the trash bins in the restrooms at my office are compost only. I'm all for going green, but now I have to walk two buildings over to find a regular trash bin when I need to change a tampon. My manager said: "go and walk" or "use the bins in the kitchenette". FML

By Anonymous - 28/12/2019 01:00 - United States

Trash office

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Today, a customer threatened to kick my balls in if I didn’t give her a hot chocolate. I had already explained to her that it wasn’t working. She’s a regular so anytime I see her now I cover my balls just in case. FML

By [email protected] - 25/12/2019 20:00

Just in case

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Today, at work I had to read out loud in front of the principal. The word was a cook. I got nervous and said cock. FML

By Forgottoread - 22/12/2019 03:00

Cordon bleu

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Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

By - 13/12/2019 20:00

Unconditional call

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Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store I threw my hands up and yelled "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

By "pixie_pix13" - 7/12/2019 03:00

Back to work

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Today at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s that had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom

Not funny anymore

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Today, I texted my boyfriend. And I said, 'silly boy, I am done with doing the same work every day'. But, then I realized it wasn't him... It was my boss. The general manager. FML

By "凌玲" - 24/11/2019 05:00

Recipient error

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Today, while at work I started having stomach problems. I ran to the bathroom just in time for my intestines to completely void themselves. After a few moments, I hear a little girl take a sniff and said, "wow she smells worse than Daddy!". FML

By payge9182 - 17/11/2019 05:00 - United States - Mesa

Really stinks

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Today, my boss ordered me to remove a tree from a client home's. So, I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the tarmac driveway, not the 100 years old prize winning Japanese cherry tree. FML

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 03:00

Misunderstanding

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