Work, Your everyday life stories

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Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

By - 26/1/2020 20:00

Early show

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Today, I was told to be present for a meeting that started at 5pm. I arrived 15 minutes early, and I was late for the meeting. This happens regularly. FML

By ThreeHoursEarly - 24/1/2020 01:00

What's the time, please?

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Today, I decided to take my car to work as I had some errands to do after. I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML

By "penne_pasta580802" - 23/1/2020 14:00

Ultimately

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Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him full force dead center in the chest right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

By - 18/1/2020 05:00

Very frustrating

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Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

By Yoir mom - 16/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Very bad idea

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Today, it was my first day of work, and I was wondering why everyone was staring and laughing at me. I looked down and I realized that the fly on my jeans was open. FML

By dumbass724 - 13/1/2020 14:00 - Canada - Brampton

First day at work

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Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

By I'mSoHungry - 11/1/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

I am very hungry

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Today, at work, I was helping a customer over the phone. Another customer came and asked me a question. I let them know I'd be with them shortly. They then said "I really think you should hang up. The customer is always first." FML

By retailworker - 9/1/2020 14:00

Customer service

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Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

By - 30/12/2020 18:00

I am sorry

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Today, a customer threatened to kick my balls in if I didn’t give her a hot chocolate. I had already explained to her that it wasn’t working. She’s a regular so anytime I see her now I cover my balls just in case. FML

By [email protected] - 25/12/2019 20:00

Just in case

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Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store I threw my hands up and yelled "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

By "pixie_pix13" - 7/12/2019 03:00

Back to work

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Today at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s that had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom

Not funny anymore

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Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 03:00

Misunderstanding

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Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

By Van - 9/11/2019 05:00

Work name

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Today, my hours at work were slashed due to company wide cut backs. The only coworker unaffected was the asshat who stole my promotion after I'd trained them. FML

By - 4/9/2019 14:00 - New Zealand

Asshat

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Today, my CEO called and spoke to me like I'm a child. Apparently, she has a surprise for me, "but only if I clean up my office first." She hasn't been to my office in months because she works in another state. Turns out, someone texted her a picture of my messy office. FML

By hatedatwork - 2/9/2019 13:00 - United States - Shreveport

Thanks mom!

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Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML

By Anonymous - 2/9/2019 11:00 - Canada - Lakeville

Cash me?

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Today, after waking up in a panic since I slept through my alarm, I hurriedly got ready and started speeding to work. On the way, I texted my boss to apologize for running late. His response? "It's Saturday." FML

By viabbey - 24/8/2019 16:00 - United States - Cadillac

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Today, I held the door open for someone and he said, "Thank you!" I said, "Thank you!" back. FML

By Anonymous - 27/7/2019 15:01 - United States - Pomona

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Today, I was told I have kidney stones, kidney infections, and a bladder infection and that I have to get admitted into the hospital. I let my boss know, and she replied, "But you're still coming in for your shift tonight, right?" FML

By lxygrl - 20/7/2019 13:07 - United States - Phenix City

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Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML

By TooFast - 21/7/2019 02:00 - Australia - Mount Druitt

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Today, I watched a customer open a bottle of salad dressing, taste it, then just put it back on the shelf. FML

By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 22:30

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Today, I was so zoned-out, I shouted a hello to the chair in the staff room. It's the third time today I've mistaken an inanimate object for a person. FML

By Anonymous - 3/7/2019 21:00 - Canada

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Today, I realized why a female colleague keeps asking me if I'm high when I'm not. All I'm thinking when I see her is how glad I am to see her. Dilated pupils, flushed face, stupid grin on my face? I'm not high. I'm in love with her. She's married. Oh, and she wants to be my roommate for a year. FML

By Spanner - 25/4/2019 00:00

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Today, I met the man of my dreams. Insane click. He’s just as in love with me. He’s also got a condition I research in my job. It’s literally unethical for us to date. FML

By JellicleCat - 24/4/2019 19:00 - United Kingdom - London

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Today, my boss told me that he didn’t want to promote me because my, “scores were too good.” He then told me that I would be getting twice as much work to do than my coworkers, without a raise. I work minimum wage. FML

By Ihatemyjob - 24/4/2019 06:00 - United States

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Today, during a meeting, the president of the honor society apologized for being out for a couple of days due to the flu, and wanted to get everything back on track. I mumbled that she hadn't shown good leadership by being out. I guess she heard me, because she said, “Neither does being a teen mom.” FML

By upset mom - 24/4/2019 04:00

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Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML

By Is McDonald's Hiring? - 23/4/2019 12:00

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Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. Best part is I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML

By DingusGinger - 21/4/2019 02:00

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