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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (2827)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

#21000427
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (7905)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

#2624413
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59054) - you deserved it (4260)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by shescomfortablynumb (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

#21288212
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (3517)

On 10/30/2014 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

#2428184
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (14507)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by yumx24 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML

#1283433
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (44895)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by raerae (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (6272)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47677) - you deserved it (6957)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

#17702973
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8905) - you deserved it (38284)

On 09/09/2011 at 8:10am - love - by Kevin (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (2962)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (3130)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

#1535605
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77991) - you deserved it (5042)

On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

#16129629
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (2998)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:51pm - work - by jamalinho (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (5230)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

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