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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I went on a romantic date to the mountains to look a stars with a boy I had just met. We started kissing and he stopped, asking if it was rude for him to take me home now. After getting dropped off, he texted me saying we could never do that again and we should never talk about it. FML

#5210857
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44956) - you deserved it (4998)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33858) - you deserved it (5279)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

#15923303
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34507) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML

Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML

#19767473
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (1503)

On 06/10/2012 at 9:14pm - work - by in_hardik - United States

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

#20950992
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50835) - you deserved it (3570)

On 11/09/2013 at 12:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (2433)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

#2422522
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45549) - you deserved it (8423)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

#239413
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147614) - you deserved it (6797)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Brad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (3013)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (97442)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (1524)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (3168)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

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