By conchita - United States Today, I panicked when I felt a hard bump on the side of my stomach. I thought I had appendicitis. Turns out it was my ab muscles. I've been overweight so long I didn't know what they felt like. FML I agree, your life sucks 10346 You deserved it 27175 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Grace - 14/11/2020 23:02 Don't touch me, bitch Today, I found out that when you try to pick up my cat, its response is to let out the most stinky fart it can. FML I agree, your life sucks 664 You deserved it 163 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By allbrokeup - Norway - Stavanger Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 30352 You deserved it 3301 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what - United States - Livermore Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML I agree, your life sucks 29875 You deserved it 2096 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hoolabaloo - India - Ahmadabad Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML I agree, your life sucks 36613 You deserved it 8040 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gothicbunnyx3 - United States Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML I agree, your life sucks 37548 You deserved it 5627 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The girl? Today, my mate was bragging about the nudes he was getting from this random girl, he proceeded to show me... It was my cousin. FML I agree, your life sucks 2460 You deserved it 246 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Angela - United States Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML I agree, your life sucks 38144 You deserved it 3501 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kaylashay2k13 - United States - Mission Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML I agree, your life sucks 12939 You deserved it 1088 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By faulty plumbimg! - India Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 47033 You deserved it 4102 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By killmyself - United States Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML I agree, your life sucks 17308 You deserved it 46966 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML I agree, your life sucks 40124 You deserved it 11220 250 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By graveyard-sh*t Oh, hi Sharon! Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1850 You deserved it 179 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shortarse - Australia - Saint Lucia Today, I finally moved into my own flat - no family, nor messy flatmates. Should be great, except for the fact that I'm so short, I have to climb onto the counter in the kitchen any time I want to reach my shelves. Like a child. I'm going to break my fucking neck. FML I agree, your life sucks 4084 You deserved it 706 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mack - Canada Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 34538 You deserved it 6115 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wrongcar - United States Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML I agree, your life sucks 38184 You deserved it 2503 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Spring Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML I agree, your life sucks 23610 You deserved it 2292 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hi - United States Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML I agree, your life sucks 66352 You deserved it 14609 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sasquatch - United States - Katonah Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML I agree, your life sucks 16689 You deserved it 33472 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mama’s boy Chuck E. Cheese awaits Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 2114 You deserved it 377 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Class - United States - Newton Center Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML I agree, your life sucks 32113 You deserved it 4407 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Alarmed Today, after 5 hours of attempting to sleep, I began to finally drift off. Then, some fuckwit who'd parked his car right outside my door took 20 minutes to switch his alarm off. I have to be up in about 4 hours, after a 12-hour night shift, heading into another. FML I agree, your life sucks 1524 You deserved it 97 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML I agree, your life sucks 54049 You deserved it 4240 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML I agree, your life sucks 4084 You deserved it 285 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By umyuck - United States - Norfolk Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML I agree, your life sucks 32406 You deserved it 2505 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML I agree, your life sucks 42280 You deserved it 13727 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Belgian girl - United States - Lewes Today, I became my one night stand's shrink as he went through the process of realising he might be bisexual. FML I agree, your life sucks 5261 You deserved it 692 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Grrr - United States - Salem Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML I agree, your life sucks 26237 You deserved it 2062 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Taking pictures Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML I agree, your life sucks 2127 You deserved it 441 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lifedamntough - Singapore Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML I agree, your life sucks 31129 You deserved it 64843 312 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shininghayley - United States Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 28706 You deserved it 6288 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Infadel - United States - San Marcos Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37752 You deserved it 10470 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bart - France - Lille Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML I agree, your life sucks 28245 You deserved it 3488 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML I agree, your life sucks 27205 You deserved it 2325 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML I agree, your life sucks 24936 You deserved it 10052 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML I agree, your life sucks 8615 You deserved it 38900 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Atlanta Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML. I agree, your life sucks 49028 You deserved it 6430 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShouldICallYouDaddy - United Kingdom - Grantham Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my room mate has been dating is my mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 19133 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2383 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne Keep the peace Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML I agree, your life sucks 623 You deserved it 80 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Killington Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML I agree, your life sucks 28381 You deserved it 4472 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today I cried and left because my dad was saying my s/o of 7 years is shit and that he wanted to hurt him just because he didn't want to share an icecream... I agree, your life sucks 21 You deserved it 2 0 Comments
Today my folding table collapsed destroying one of my roommates favorite cups. A few days ago I already destroyed her favorite cup, now I have to explain... I agree, your life sucks 10 You deserved it 4 0 Comments
Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my... I agree, your life sucks 152 You deserved it 796 9 Comments
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 868 You deserved it 65 4 Comments