Transportation, the best funniest jokes

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Today, while on my way to deliver aluminum to a customer on top of a really steep hill, there wasn't enough room to do a U-turn without clipping a vehicle. I had to go through some mud, so now the company semi is bumper-deep in it. FML

By Anonymous - 13/1/2021 23:00 - United States

Stuck

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Today my husband went to buy a car from some guy from Facebook. He ended up giving the guy $1000 upfront before receiving the title or bill of sale. So now, we have a car we can't use, we're completely broke now and the guy is ghosting us. FML

By Anonymous - 12/1/2021 17:01

Scammed

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Today, after I was done testing a group of people for Covid, the universe decided that no, the deed was not good enough. On the way to the bus stop, I slipped and had to ride home covered in mud. FML

By Muddyidiot - 6/1/2021 05:01

Good deeds

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Today, the parking shuttle for work pulled away right as I was walking up to it. I was late to work. For the second day in a row. FML

By Anonymous - 3/1/2021 01:58

Wait for me!

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Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas on it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 05:01

Baby you can drive my car

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Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the '90s. FML

By J.O.S - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

The more things change…

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Today, my mom used, "Happy Thanksgiving break" and, "We sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

By laststand11 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

It's all in the timing

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Today, on my way for a vacation, my car started misfiring, so I called a tow truck. 40 minutes later the tow truck arrived. He then said that he had just gotten another priority call, so he was leaving and someone would be back in another hour to get us. FML

By teebs - United States - San Leandro

Long wait

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Today, I sold my wife's old car because I bought her a newer and nicer one. On the way back home from the sale, the transmission went out in her new one. FML

Beautiful car

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Today, I missed out on the chance of buying a great used car because my loan wasn't approved. Why wasn't it approved? Because the vehicle has +100k miles on it. I wish they would've told me that when I applied for the loan. FML

By Anonymous - United States - Tucson

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Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML

By Moon-chan - Netherlands

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Today, I drove my toddler to a schoolmate’s birthday party at a chuck-e-Cheese an hour drive away, only to find out the party is tomorrow. FML

By LowOnGas

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Today, several of my apartment complex neighbors walked right by me as I struggled to clean the inches thick, icy snow off of my SUV. I’m 4’11. Not one person offered to assist me, even after I slipped and fell several times. FML

By TOOshort

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Today, I decided to finish up some Christmas shopping. Instead, I ended up having to buy a present for myself - a new alternator after my car died and left me stranded. FML

By Crys - Canada - Kingston

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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Today, has been a very long day, so I shall simply say there is a car in my bedroom. Yes a car. It's entirely my husband's fault, we have no idea how we're supposed to remove it, and there's oil all down my favourite pyjamas. FML

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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Today, I bought a car off my aunt, then I got 7 speeding tickets. Apparently my aunt forgot to tell me the speedometer is faulty, so while I thought I was doing a safe 28 or 29 mph in the 30 zone on my way to work, I was probably doing closer to 35 or 36. FML

By Anonymous

That could've happened to me

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Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML

By "jjuuuuuuulless"

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

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Today, in addition to having to deal with chronic pain that keeps me from driving for more than 10 minutes, I now have to deal with my brother who thinks I'm not paying him enough for taking me to school 2 days a week, when he does the journeys for himself anyway. FML

By Anonymous

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Today, I found a bag of frozen broccoli in my car boot from when I went shopping 3 days ago. My whole car smells like farts now. FML

By FartyCar

2011

975

Today, I was driving slightly off road for work to clean a well. I didn't want to get my boots muddy by walking the last 20 ft through mud, so I tried to drive through. I spent the next four hours on hands and knees digging my way out. FML

By Phil - United States - Plain City

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Today, I got into an accident and my bike broke. My insurance expired 5 days ago and the accident wasn't even my fault. The lady was on the phone and on the wrong side of the road. She's threatening to sue me even though her car is in better condition. There are no witnesses and no cameras either. FML

By Anonymous

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Today, my housemate's cat began meowing at 2:15am. After about 10 minutes of continuous caterwauling, it finally shut up. Almost immediately afterwards, a car with thumping bass music pulled up to idle in the street right outside my window. FML

By Sleepless in Juneau - United States - Fairbanks

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Today, I had a job interview. I got there as quick as I could, having to travel 2 hours into a city I'd never been to. When I arrived, they told me I was turned down for being too late. They'd rescheduled the interview an hour earlier and I wasn't notified of the change. FML

By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

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Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

By Pissy pants

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Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML

By Graverobber

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Today, I reached my exam center late after taking wrong metro twice, only to find that I forgot my calculator at home. FML

By risingtide

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Today, while enjoying a lovely 80 degree day, I returned from a 2-hour bike ride to find my truck window smashed. The only thing taken was my change of clothes. My insurance company says it'll cost $1000 to replace the window. I feel like I got robbed twice. FML

By acmariner99 - United States - Indianapolis

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OP here. Yeah, 1k is what the insurance company told me. I knew it was a ripoff and found a local repair shop to fix the window for ... much less than that. I am not sure what the thieves saw in a bag of grubby shorts and a t-shirt, but that’s what they took. And why the f am listed as being in Indianapolis, I live nowhere near there. LOL.

acmariner99 tells us more :

By haley

Today, while in a parking lot, I accidentally cut someone off out of pure nervousness as I'm a new driver. I got out of my car to apologize, and they responded by beating me and my car to a pulp with a baseball bat. FML

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Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML

By just socially awkward

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