FML : Transportation, Your everyday life stories

Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML

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By Malakai - / Tuesday 23 October 2018 22:00 /

World

Australia

Today, after I ran and just caught the train home after work, it took me 4 steps to realise I had driven to work that day. FML

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By rachgirl6 - / Monday 22 October 2018 23:00 / Australia

Today, I drove a total of 4 hours for my boss to demote me, downgrade my pay, and make the kid I hired my new boss. Why? Because I asked about the $500 missing from my paycheck. FML

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By Dino - / Sunday 21 October 2018 14:00 /

Today, I was pulled over and given a ticket for a broken tail light. On the way to the mechanic. To get my tail light fixed. FML

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By fuji - / Tuesday 16 October 2018 17:30 /

Today, I was working on my laptop when the screen suddenly turned red. I was shocked since it's not that old, but my insurance just expired. On my way to the service I was thinking, "At least my car works!" Well... A few hours later, my car broke. FML

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By Murphy's law - / Saturday 13 October 2018 13:30 /

Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML

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By XxrudyxX - / Friday 12 October 2018 05:30 / Canada - Fort Saskatchewan

Today, I helped this guy get into his truck after he'd locked his keys in it, and he said thank you and went on his way. Ten minutes later, a woman came out of the grocery store and freaked out, saying someone stole her truck. I helped a guy steal a truck. FML

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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 10 October 2018 16:00 / United States

World

Canada

Today, a lady on the subway sat next to me. She kept huffing and burping and was holding a plastic bag. I couldn't even finish the thought, "please don't puke on me" because she puked on me. FML

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By 1DisGR8 - / Wednesday 10 October 2018 07:30 / Canada - Toronto

Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 9 October 2018 03:00 /

Today, I hit someone’s car and got arrested for a DUI. I had to tell my parents so they could remove me from the insurance. My mom's response in the background after I told my dad was "I knew it." FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 7 October 2018 12:00 /

World

Czech Republic

Today, I flew cross-country. Since the movers with my furniture and car won't arrive for 2 weeks, I packed several bags with most of my clothes and charging cords. The airline lost them. FML

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By screwedflyer - / Wednesday 3 October 2018 14:00 / Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was stopped in traffic when a woman rear-ended me, backed up, and sped off along the shoulder, taking my passenger side mirror with her. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 2 October 2018 17:30 /

Today, my dad moved my car onto the street so he wouldn't accidentally back into it while moving our boat. My neighbor backed into it instead. FML

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By therosalina - / Monday 1 October 2018 10:30 / United States - Duluth

Today, the blinker on my car was broken so I decided to play it safe and drive a different car to work. I guess it wouldn’t have mattered which car I drove, as the cop nicely told me one of the headlights was out when he pulled me over. FML

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By llostinreality - / Sunday 30 September 2018 07:00 / United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was on the worst blind date ever, so I tried to secretly request an Uber to get out of there. My date then picked up his phone, receiving my request. Turns out he's an Uber driver and he was looking for a reason to get out of the date too. FML

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By Frouse - / Friday 28 September 2018 22:02 /

Today, I helped a guy in a flaming car by busting his window to get him out. I didn't realize until after the crash scene was cleared, that I didn't just have his blood on me, but I also had cut from the window. Round 3 of aids testing here I come. FML

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By tillybonkers - / Wednesday 26 September 2018 22:00 /

World

Netherlands

Today, it's my 30th Birthday. The day started with me tripping in the shower and breaking my arm, continued with a car crashing into our car in the hospital parking, and ended with yet another car crash while finally driving home. Happy birthday to me. FML

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By Birthdaygirl30 - / Wednesday 26 September 2018 14:00 / Netherlands - Oegstgeest

Today, I'm recovering from a bad motorcycle crash that could have cost me my life. A truck pulled out in front of me while going 60. Luckily I only have a broken arm and a fractured sternum. I was just notified by my attorney that the guy at fault has no insurance or assets to his name. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 25 September 2018 07:00 / United States - Conroe

Today, I ran over a recently-killed skunk in the road. My truck now smells absolutely rancid, and the smell will probably last for months. At least it goes well with my dog, who was also skunked 6 weeks ago. FML

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By StairwayToEvan92 - / Monday 24 September 2018 13:30 /

Today, I learned that my new neighbour's car alarm goes off every time a car drives by blasting loud bass. So far, it's gone off 6 times in the last hour. I can't wait until he's done moving in here, where he and his car will stay for the next year. FML

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By hcditfi5foygy - / Sunday 23 September 2018 13:30 /

World

Netherlands

Today, my landlady gave me exactly one day to move out. I'm not even in the country. FML

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By Sunflare - / Friday 21 September 2018 17:30 / Netherlands - Holten

Today, I backed a van into another car at work, damaging the tailgate in the process. I work at a panel beater. The van I was driving had just had a brand new tailgate put on. FML

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By willkftw - / Friday 21 September 2018 15:30 /

World

Canada

Today, I was heading to Prague with a few friends for a vacation. On the plane ride, I started flirting with this cute flight attendant and we hit it off. I ran into my friend who is a flight attendant for the same company to tell him. He looked at me and said, "Don't freak out, but she has a dick." FML

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By labcho - / Thursday 20 September 2018 21:00 / Canada - Ottawa

Today, I took my truck through an automatic car wash. During the wash, the bristles on one of the automatic scrubbers ripped my metal antenna off of my car. The antenna was stuck spinning around in the scrubber, smacking and scratching the entire side of my car, top to bottom. FML

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By 9inchsofty - / Thursday 20 September 2018 14:00 /

Today, with one week left until I fly to my new apartment, movers loaded my belongings and happily drove off. They even loaded my unpacked, inflated air mattress. Looks like I'm sleeping on the floor for a week. FML

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By crosscountryfatigue - / Wednesday 19 September 2018 12:00 /

Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington DC an hour ago. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 16 September 2018 12:30 / United States - Chevy Chase

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 16 September 2018 13:00 /

Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the 3rd time." I had no idea. FML

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By Phill1188 - / Sunday 16 September 2018 03:30 /

Today, my girlfriend's parents asked if I could move their car. I started the engine and began to accelerate, not noticing that the automatic transmission was on R. I drove right into a wall behind me, shattering the rear lights. Now I owe them $150 for repairs. FML

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By FD4 - / Saturday 15 September 2018 14:30 /

Today, we're taking the plane home from Dublin after a school trip that I only barely got onto after troubles with my passport. Luckily for me, a kind person has decided to save me from the passport this evening - together with the rest of my wallet. I'm stuck. FML

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By Imdead - / Friday 14 September 2018 22:00 /

FML

Nearly

Today, I asked a couple who had been double charged whether they wanted a refund or an exchange. They began yelling about how I needed to give them their...

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Today I had to visit the burns clinic for a dressing change over both legs because I scalded myself last week with a pot of boiling water. Today I also...

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World

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Australia

Today, after I ran and just caught the train home after work, it took me 4 steps to realise I had driven to work that day. FML

Canada

Today, I found out why my art teacher was so reluctant to return my artwork that he'd borrowed to display. He dropped a white splotch of paint in the centre...

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Photos

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Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming...

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Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of...

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