Fire

Trousers? Suit you sir!

By brebis - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, when I threw my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My pants got completely burnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 405

You deserved it 72 699

Lawyer up

By human torch - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 983

You deserved it 6 386

The little alarm that cried wolf

By Nice smoke alarm - 05/09/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm has a tendency to give false alarms. Despite this, it did not go off at all when I was genuinely overcooking food and smoke was everywhere in the house, except for the room I was in. My smoke detector is plotting against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 104

Adding insult to almost injury

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 10:00

Today, the director of my university decided to cancel all my attendance until now, as I was unable to attend the inauguration program in my university. I was unable to attend the program because the area I had to travel to was flooded and one of the trains I was supposed to travel on caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 85

Ventilation

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 18:00 - United States - Victorville

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to the smell of something burning. My husband and I checked the house, and I was convinced there was possibly an electric fire. Went back to bed, then when I woke again I remembered I'd straightened my hair the day before and that’s what the burnt smell was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 684

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 18:00

Today, a guy I been seeing went to work and left me in his house. As I made a bagel, it burned, the smoke alarm went off. This activated a call to the fire department but I didn’t know. The fire truck showed up. Little did I know, the guy’s family was outside too, just to see what had happened, thinking I'd broken in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 217

Welcome home

By evilsandwich - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - London

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 699

You deserved it 2 181

Mr Popular

By mcdman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 5 992

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 584

It's not a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 923

You deserved it 3 800

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 423

Mr Rogers

By JWhite - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 2 726

Medieval dildos

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 357

Keep cool

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm… Your house is on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 523

You deserved it 2 929

Yaaaaaay!

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 641

You deserved it 4 527

Pesky kids

By no one - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year-old son does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 165

You deserved it 4 018

You shitgibbon!

By Turkeyfryboy - 24/11/2022 12:00

Today, I learned to never put a just-bought-about-an-hour-ago-from-the-grocery-store frozen solid turkey in the turkey frying pot. My job’s banquet hall was burnt to a crisp and the fire department came. The Thanksgiving potluck was ruined. Oh, and I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 511

Teacher's pet

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 20:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, I managed to lose my engagement ring, and damage my car. But that was a cakewalk from what happened later, when a teen student tried to set fire to the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 86

Melting

By Smoke Undetected - 13/10/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 151

The dress is lit

By Laura - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 717

You deserved it 17 678

This old house

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 16:00

Today, the smoke alarm went off while I was in the shower. Fearing a house fire, I jumped out and ran out, wearing just a tiny towel that barely covered my modesty, only to realize that water was coming through the ceiling and on to the smoke alarm, via a leak in the shower tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 120

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 119

Lint kills

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 00:00

Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 98

Robby Krieger rubbing salt into the wound again

By No time to wallow in the fire - 08/07/2022 16:00

Today, I had to stay at a friend's house because my dryer caught fire. My friend decided to start cleaning, so he put on his music playlist. By sheer coincidence, the first song that played was "Light My Fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 144

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 977

Great prank, dear

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 00:00

Today, my Xbox blew up. Apparently my wife thought a good prank was to Sellotape the fan holes, because a YouTuber told her it makes Xboxes crash repeatedly. Well, it didn’t crash, it melted some of the casing, caught fire, which also set fire to the bookcase it sits on, the wall, and our 50 inch TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 143

Where's all the hot dudes?

By sad - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 000

You deserved it 44 171

Hard times

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 23:00 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, after 3 days of insomnia, I was able to finally fall asleep, just for there to be a fire in the apartment building about 15 minutes later. My mom called me selfish for waking her up in the middle of the night to ask if I could stay with her, and told me I better not rent a hotel room with the money I owe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 86

Kitchen nightmares

By Masterchef331 - 01/02/2022 05:00

Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 600

Bye bye

By ThatTrafficCone - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the Fire Department found my car overturned in a ditch and on fire. It was two miles away from where I parked it about three hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 497

You deserved it 2 371

Keywords

Jealousy Friends Love Social Media Relatable AITA Bodyshaming Miscellaneous Weird Religion Parents Books Kids Suspicious Teenagers Sex Pranks Annoying YouTube Cops Dogs Animals Ironic Argument Health Dad jokes My ex Alcohol Drunk Family

The Top

Aujourd'hui, et comme depuis presque un an, j’ai ma pause à 14h et j’ai l’habitude de faire une sieste à ce moment là… mais c’est aussi le moment que choisit ma voisine depuis deux semaines pour se faire tringler dans la pièce de l'autre côté du mur. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 4 795

You deserved it 748

Aujourd'hui, ma secrétaire vient poliment interrompre une réunion tardive en demandant : "Vous avez encore envie de moi ce soir ?" J'ai dû expliquer à mes collègues qu'elle est australienne et que, ne maîtrisant pas bien le français, elle confond notamment "besoin" et "envie." VDM

I agree, your life sucks 61 090

You deserved it 4 331

The Top

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 3 922

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 940

You deserved it 4 352

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 994

You deserved it 3 871

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 646

You deserved it 4 910

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 805

You deserved it 4 755

Today, within 20 minutes of waking up, my dad gave me a pained look and said: "Uhh, turns out your laptop isn't waterproof." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 897

You deserved it 1 424