The best jokes about life

Today, I and others were reading a book aloud over Discord, and when we got to the song lyrics, we all started singing them. My dad came over to yell at me because I was singing so loudly he could hear me across the house. My mic picked up his yelling and transmitted it to the Discord chat. FML.

By Assembler - 27/2/2021 18:20 - United States - Framingham

Today... I was finally having sex with my husband for the first time in weeks, he fell asleep while we we're doing it. This morning he doesn't seem to understand why I'm so mad. Fml

By "Tanisha Skye Regeling" - 25/2/2021 22:25

Today, i went to my optometrist to get an eye exam and order some new glasses. I figured i could get that and then order some new wireless earbuds with the rest of my tax return. My final bill was twenty bucks over the amount i got from my return. Good thing i didn’t order the earbuds. FML

By Anonymous - 25/2/2021 22:19

Today, my friends and I tried to play Terraria with more than 4 mods installed. The game was so unstable that the server crashed, then the game crashed, then my entire computer crashed. FML.

By Anonymous - 24/2/2021 16:45 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today,I was forced by my family to take my grandma to the emergency room because she’s had shingles and has been sleeping lots, only to wait 4 hours to have her checked out and being told to do what I’ve already been doing FML!

By Anonymous - 23/2/2021 06:17 - Canada

Today, I went in to get a shot for a migraine to find out I'm 17 weeks pregnant... I am almost 40 and my tubes are tied. FML

By Anonymous - 22/2/2021 06:05

Today, my girlfriend went mad at me after watching the Captain America Civil War movie. Why? I chose Iron Man's side and she chose Captain America's side. FML

By G - 22/2/2021 05:45

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend so I could text another girl I have feelings for, and she did not respond to my message. Now I have no girlfriend. FML

By Anonymous - 21/2/2021 17:47 - United States - New York

Today me and my sis assumed our parents were joking when they said they’d throw us out on our 18th to live independently then Today my sis’s 18th, they packed up all her belongings while she was at her part time job, put it in storage and emailed her a list of flats available to rent. It’s my 18th next year FML

By Homeless baby boy - 21/2/2021 19:39

Today, my mom yelled at me. I have an exam tomorrow the one I've been preparing for the last 3 years. I have been told to keep calm and avoid any conflict. Still my mom yells at me just for a silly reason.. FML

By Anonymous - 21/2/2021 13:05 - India - Bangalore

Today, I got into a really bad fight with my girlfriend, she’s been feeling lonely and sad because I’ve been working so much, she said that I don’t deserve any sex or love because I don’t spend enough time with her, I have to pay all the bills and rent, she lives rent free in my apartment. FML

By leogs23 - 19/2/2021 10:20

Today is Valentine’s Day. I spent so much time and money all for my boyfriend to show up empty handed, eat and leave.. FML

By Anonymous - 18/2/2021 13:28

Today, my sister spent the entire day trying to Psychoanalize me and argue everything I say because she took 1 psychology class in university. She used to be my best friend but university has turned her into an arrogant monster. Fml.

By Imnotfromhere - 18/2/2021 04:51

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his colleges and he said we would talk about it i thought I was going with because he didn't give me any indication that we weren't going to be together and i didn't know he was going to break up with me saying I wasn't the one the day before Valentines Day. FML

By Anonymous - 17/2/2021 05:46 - United States

Today, I grew up in a family with five daughters (including me). My mom is obsessed with us getting married. I recently dated this guy who was in the military but it didn't work out. I was visiting a friend when I found out he started dating my younger sister!! And not only that they just eloped!. FML

By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 23:06

Today, living in the coldest part of the nation as a anemic, my power was shut off for what was supposed to be an hour so people in states that didn't prepare for any energy disasters could drain the system. It's been three hours but a faulty breaker could mean hours more before I have heat again. FML

By jasperated - 16/2/2021 20:58

Today, I was recently diagnosed with pre-diabetes, PCOS, and insulin resistance. I have been having unprotected sex for years and cannot get pregnant. And I take medication for my conditions but they haven't helped my fertility. I'm ready to give up and grieve. FML.

By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 05:52

Today, I told my mom to shut up after her screaming at me for something my brother did. She didn't stop screaming after I told her multiple times to stop yelling. That's when I told her to shut up. She won't let me call her mom and is calling my school.. FML

By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 03:05

Today I found an awesome deal for a couples massage on Groupon. Perfect for Valentines as we have both been stressed and sore, drove there to find it was a “full release”. How romantic. Happy Valentines Day. FML

By J - 15/2/2021 08:38

Today, deciding to finally do something about my piss poor mental health, and hearing that betterhelp is more affordable than in person counseling, i checked them out. after spending 10 minutes filling out the initial questionnaire, i even qualified for their financial aid but still can't afford to use their service.. FML

By Anonymous - 14/2/2021 21:35

Today, I was supposed to be with my boyfriend for valentine's day. But he got scabies off his friend so we had to cancel and I can't see him for at least a month now. FML

By Anonymous - 14/2/2021 16:07

Today I realized I was never going to make him happy and I was just used for sex. FML

By Anonymous - 14/2/2021 10:19

Today, my boss texted me saying I owe $1,200 to the company because I did not take taxes out of a jackpot that was worth $5,000. Company policy states anything OVER $5,000 we take out taxes. Everything else we leave alone. I now owe $1,200 and my boss an apology for speaking up. FML

By "arock412" - 14/2/2021 03:48

Today I got all dressed up in a sexy schoolgirl outfit to surprise my boyfriend for Valentines Day. Instead of ripping the costume off my body, he started questioning my choice because I have previously told him I am a feminist. FML

By Anonymous - 14/2/2021 00:53

Today I hopped onto my meme app to get away from all the politics only to find even more politics. I just want to look at some funny fails, memes, and some cute dogs or something. FML

By ijustwantmemes - 13/2/2021 06:37 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I met a girl on tinder.I just enjoyed the nice talk and laughs and she comes out of nowhere and says yo dont get attached or get feelings for me. we were just talking about game and since then shes super rude. I did no moves or nothing. First we get along and out of nowhere she puts a barrier.. FML

By Anonymous - 11/2/2021 10:48

Today I realized the guy I bought a valentine's day gift for purposely decided not to say happy birthday to me jus cuz...FML

By Anonymous - 9/2/2021 18:30

Today I realised that my mom loves my bratty sister more than me ................FML

By viry - 9/2/2021 16:31

Today, I sold some bitcoins that I bought thinking the price wouldn’t go higher also, Today, Tesla decided to invest millions of dollars on bitcoins an hour after I sold all my bitcoins and now the price blow up, FML

By leogs23 - 9/2/2021 03:21