Love

I'm so sorry

By tiptoppc - 07/05/2026 17:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my wife slept in my bed (she normally sleeps in another room because of my nightmares from PTSD). I fell asleep in 30 minutes and had a nightmare, in which I woke up to me kneeing her tailbone from an in-dream assault I fought back from. I hadn’t had these in a while, and now she’s injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 25

Safety first

By BRIAN TABORDA - 07/05/2026 02:00 - Colombia - Medellín

Today, my wife told me she’s leaving me because her "nervous system now perceives me as a threat." Apparently, seven years ago I was her "safe space," but now I’m just a cortisol spike in human form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 49

Next!

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a date when a woman across the restaurant started choking on food, so I and a few others rushed to help her. We got her to cough up the food but as I looked back to my date, she was stealing food from the plates of other people who'd left their tables to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 60

Best keep it under wraps

By Amandy - 05/05/2026 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was about to admit and open up to my good friend about the guy I like, who she's known longer than I have, until I heard her say something to another friend about him: "Stop pestering my sister's boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 70

Step-nothing

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 76

The nerve of this dude

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband confessed to cheating but then tried to turn it around on me. Apparently, because I wasn’t regularly checking his phone, it must mean I don’t really care about him or I’d have caught him months ago. Sorry for trusting my husband I suppose, geez. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 76

Let me sleep!

By ineed sleep!!! - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument when I suggested we start sleeping in separate rooms. He thinks I don’t love him anymore, but that’s not the case. I’m madly in love with him, but he snores like a freight train and thrashes like a fucking Ninja Turtle all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 298

I'm right here

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I could strip down butt naked, slather myself in honey, and roll around in $100 bills, and still wouldn’t be able to get my husband’s attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 64

So romantic

By notonthepavement - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 058

You deserved it 1 711

Let's push things forward

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 18:00 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I've spent 14 years building a life with someone who cheated, lied, and made me feel like my pain was “unattractive.” I stayed loyal, worked two jobs, and gave everything while he gave nothing. Now I’m left healing from a love that was never real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 143

Overconfident

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend of five days proposed to me at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 222

You deserved it 4 926

Bitter

By Oshi - 02/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a Venmo request from a guy who I friendzoned when I announced my relationship with another guy on Instagram. He’s backcharging me for all the dinners, auto repair bills, etc., he apparently spent on me. It’s over $4000. I don’t have that kind of money and he’s threatening legal action if I don’t pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 495

Jonathan Richman approves

By MeepMeep - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to do a Google Image search to prove to my 32-year-old husband that roadrunners are real animals, and not just made up for Looney Toons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 034

You deserved it 536

Unstable

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I won my custody battle. I wish I could be happy about it, but it strained my current marriage so badly that now I'm going through my second divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 156

Who TF Did I (almost) Marry?

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to get married. I called it off only 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin because I saw my fiance punch his own mother in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 74

Stop going on about it

By Msrebound - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 236

You deserved it 689

Buyers' market

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I'm a 34 year-old single woman on the dating apps. A guy suggested we try a swing dance lesson as our first date. I said yes. We had a good time both of us and we exchanged numbers. Later I got a text from him saying he had a connection with another match, but we should remain friends for another dance "date". Dude is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 102

Bye bye love

By Charm - 01/05/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, my 54 year-old partner is leaving me for his 26 year-old coworker. She’s younger than our two kids, 32 and 29. He seriously sees nothing wrong because she’s “a consenting adult.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 113

She's right

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, my son came home upset that his crush is still friendzoning him. While he and I were coming up with a plan to get her to change her mind, my wife burst in and yelled, “She doesn’t fucking like him! Get the fuck over it and leave the poor girl alone!” Way to be supportive, hon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 1 248

Crossed wires

By J - 30/04/2026 08:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was preparing for a date with an amazing woman I'd been talking to for two weeks. An hour before our date, I sent a check-in text; no response. After about 30 minutes, I reset my phone as a last hope and received her message from TWO HOURS BEFORE, checking in with me. I'm now blocked with no way to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 73

Upon reflection

By mahanaaa_23 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boyfriend of six years proposed to me. Less than three hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 196

You deserved it 4 447

Dick move

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker, "Turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you." I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 614

You deserved it 5 713

Mindreader

By Jimmyperalta - 28/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend began bitching about how I never take her on dates anymore. I suggested one for tomorrow and now she says she doesn’t wanna go, because, “I should ask her on a date without her having to ask.” What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 293

Special day

By LockedOut - 28/04/2026 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband and I sent our kids out with family and had the house to ourselves after ages. We had awesome sex. I wanted to cuddle while he wanted to take me out to a restaurant to enjoy our day. We argued, he won, and while we left our home arguing, we locked ourselves outside. The locksmith was costly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 128

Priorities

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I called off my wedding because I found out he was cheating, but my daughter is more upset that she spent $400 on a bridesmaid's gown and now can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 111

In sickness and in health

By Boro - 26/04/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 128

Undercover

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 608

You deserved it 4 798

Bad boy

By wellokaythen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 233

You deserved it 5 163

Self report

By bluten - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 058

You deserved it 31 258

Love is…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for three years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 343

You deserved it 9 756

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I discovered that my cat will not use a litter box if it has a lid. How did I discover this? The two weeks of crystallized cat pee coating the floor under my 19th century grand piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 352

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 687

You deserved it 3 904

Today, I had to cancel a first date due to tornado weather. The guy texted me, saying never to contact him again, and then blocked me. This is the fourth time this exact scenario has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 199

Today, my daughter got her first house. As soon as she had the keys, she turned on me, ranting at everything she thinks I’ve done to wrong her, and how she never wants to see me again. I don’t understand, I paid for all her furniture, and we still go on mother/daughter trips. Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 275

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 164

You deserved it 7 755

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 054

You deserved it 6 161