By - 29/2/2020 20:00 May be Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML I agree, your life sucks 1486 You deserved it 115 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 29/2/2020 14:00 Why I did that? Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML I agree, your life sucks 1255 You deserved it 745 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 29/2/2020 05:00 Bad encounter Today, while finishing shopping with my kids, my female best friend and I were accosted by a called street preacher. He screamed that we were an abomination, having biracial children was a sin against nature and we were ruining America. Not only we are not gay and he made my kids cry. FML I agree, your life sucks 1691 You deserved it 156 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 26/2/2020 01:00 Nothing Today, I realized that I'm on the top of not having my drivers license/ state ID (I was submitting my taxes and needed it) I also threw away my brand new passport because I thought it was trash in my boyfriends car. FML I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 2286 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 02:00 Incomprehensible Today, I arrived in Tokyo and went to stay overnight in a teeny airport cabin hotel with shared bathroom facilities. I used the little wicker baskets to put my clothes on and when I came out of the shower, I found someone had stolen my favorite top. Who steals dirty clothes?! FML I agree, your life sucks 2841 You deserved it 327 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/2/2020 18:00 So shite Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples, etc. Basically, a real scumbag. He also left me the bill, and it turned out he had all the most expensive menu items, including a £120 bottle of wine. It cost over £300 total. FML I agree, your life sucks 2156 You deserved it 311 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/2/2020 01:00 It's just me Today, I stopped by my elderly mother’s house to drop off some groceries. I decided to clean the place while I was there, just to be nice. In true Three Bears fashion, I fell asleep on the couch. I was awoken by a police officer pointing his gun at me. My mom woke up and thought I was a burglar. FML I agree, your life sucks 1932 You deserved it 195 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/2/2020 14:00 Bad liar Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 1583 You deserved it 222 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 17/2/2020 18:00 When karma does its job Today, I found out the guy whose ass I used to routinely kick in high school is now dating my 19 year-old daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 825 You deserved it 4565 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thescarlettfox - 16/2/2020 01:00 Monster in my bathroom Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 1356 You deserved it 819 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 15/2/2020 01:00 Too stupid Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 2099 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 10/2/2020 18:00 Chubby life Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 2388 You deserved it 254 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Broke - 7/2/2020 05:00 - United States This is my life Today, I need money to fix my car, I need my car to get to work, and I need work to get money. FML I agree, your life sucks 1857 You deserved it 177 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By who knows - 5/2/2020 14:00 - United States - Mankato Tell me the reason Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 531 You deserved it 3140 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By handygirl - 31/1/2020 14:00 - Singapore - Singapore I'm here! Today, I tried fixing my bedroom lock because the push button hadn't retracted. When I closed the door, I couldn't open it again because the spring isn't attached to the latch, so that didn't retract either. I'm locked in my own room. FML I agree, your life sucks 1568 You deserved it 475 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By carriageway - 31/1/2020 01:00 - United States - Newport News After sleepover Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML I agree, your life sucks 1915 You deserved it 181 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ChiefKoala - 27/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Rockwood Vibrate mode Today, my stomach growled so loudly in class that my professor told us to make sure our phones were silenced. FML I agree, your life sucks 1777 You deserved it 193 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By night_fox88 - 27/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Camden Go out please! Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1988 You deserved it 203 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By minac11 - 26/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Brooklyn I am sorry! Today, I went to give my boyfriend a hug and accidentally knocked his brand new phone out of his hand. The screen was broken. FML I agree, your life sucks 1675 You deserved it 303 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pandaling - 26/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Minneapolis Devil parents Today, my mother-in-law said: "People who don't have kids are children of the devil." I'm infertile, she knows this. FML I agree, your life sucks 2570 You deserved it 116 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/1/2020 01:00 - Sweden - ?ngelholm One night Today, I woke up from putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize until I smelt burning plastic.. FML I agree, your life sucks 1715 You deserved it 816 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/1/2020 01:00 Favorite child Today, I heard that my mom is coming back from France, where my brother lives. I have lived in the same place, exactly 45 minutes from my mother, for 6 years. She hasn't visited me once, but has been out of state to see my sibling. FML I agree, your life sucks 2027 You deserved it 187 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whiteboyfresh69 - 22/1/2020 20:00 - United States She likes it! Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML I agree, your life sucks 650 You deserved it 3352 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/1/2020 18:00 Strange noise Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 2618 You deserved it 175 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By onwardsandupwards - 21/1/2020 14:00 Need help Today, I went to the cemetery to visit a friend. As I was looking for his burial plot, I fell into a dug out grave and had to call my partner to come help me get out. FML I agree, your life sucks 1884 You deserved it 425 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mycariswrecked - 20/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Tinley Park Early meeting Today, I was going to meet up with my boyfriend's mother to watch his swim meet with her. On my way to the high school, I got in a car accident. The person driving the other car was his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 2183 You deserved it 178 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/1/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport Sexy morning Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML I agree, your life sucks 2598 You deserved it 255 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 12/1/2020 18:00 New revelation Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML I agree, your life sucks 2202 You deserved it 167 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "ali927truthh" - 12/1/2020 03:00 Wrong size Today, when I finally got delivered the new kitchen table that I ordered online a week ago, I found out that it was actually a kitchen table for a dollhouse, as I forgot to check the size. FML I agree, your life sucks 727 You deserved it 2475 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By timon_n_pumbaa - 11/1/2020 09:00 - Japan - Tokyo Second time Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML I agree, your life sucks 887 You deserved it 1146 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I was in online class, my mum sent me a happy friendship day post. She knew that I didn't have many friends. I was happy but asked her why as she... I agree, your life sucks 1 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I learned that the girl of my dreams can be with me because her father doesn't want her to be with a black guy. I've never met anyone else who made... I agree, your life sucks 4 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact... I agree, your life sucks 345 You deserved it 38 6 Comments
Today, I flew from Texas to meet my new girlfriend's family in Georgia. Turns out her sister was a random hookup I had a year earlier on a business trip,... I agree, your life sucks 770 You deserved it 1259 9 Comments