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All Random Spicy Random Spicy Nearly FMLs The Top FML - The Follow-Up
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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    The Top
    The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited
    The top of the day

    The top of the week

    The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

    Good to know

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Mississauga

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 60 718
    You deserved it 14 070

    Snooper hack

    By Yazzy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 56 335
    You deserved it 8 084

    Multitasking

    By misc - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 51 531
    You deserved it 3 514

    Bon appétit

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Appleton

    Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 276
    You deserved it 9 979

    Here's your login details

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by way of making me an account on an online dating site. He then emailed me the account information and left. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 760
    You deserved it 3 530

    Date night

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about first generation Pokémon ever since. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 209
    You deserved it 5 910

    Life insurance?

    By Rusty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - New City

    Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 574
    You deserved it 2 768

    Have some empathy

    By liz - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 730
    You deserved it 2 606

    False hope

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 17 878
    You deserved it 45 764

    Wasps can fuck right off

    By Jeff - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 12 163
    You deserved it 42 165

    Skiving

    By randa - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

    Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night, so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 10 356
    You deserved it 57 919

    Right under my nose

    By _akwardsituation - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

    Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is actually coming from me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 410
    You deserved it 33 574

    One can only hope

    By sadgirl - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

    Today, I was talking to my boyfriend's mom and the subject of marriage came up. She told me she hopes I'll find my prince charming very soon and leave her son alone. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 6 729
    You deserved it 524

    Hot

    By Sucks2beme - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

    Today, a cute guy who works in my building said, “Wow! You look hot.” I blushed and replied, “Oh thanks!” He then said, “Oh, no. I meant you look sweaty. Is it hot outside?” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 510
    You deserved it 512

    Living in a bad TV show

    By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 14:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. Turns out I had sex with her once about 3 months before I met my girlfriend, and had no idea who she was. She’s been “happily” married to my girlfriend's dad for 25 years. I have no idea what to say or do and it’s awkward, so my girlfriend is getting suspicious. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 161
    You deserved it 239

    Dodged a landmine

    By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 12:00

    Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom, but she decided I was “unsuitable.” I hoped he’d be on my side. Nope, he just accepted her word as law, broke up with me, and pushed me outside. He'd driven me there, so I had to find a bus in a city I’ve never been to, in the dark, without a coat. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 991
    You deserved it 96

    Fight clubbed

    By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 02:00

    Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 974
    You deserved it 123

    It's all deregulation's fault

    By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 22:00

    Today, it's been a few days since I moved into a new apartment and was excited to finally have a balcony. I went out to enjoy the view, but as I leaned against the railing, it gave way and I fell two stories onto the pavement below. I ended up with a broken leg and a huge medical bill. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 944
    You deserved it 88

    I'll have the Catfish

    By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - United States

    Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 939
    You deserved it 95

    The blame game

    By stupid child - 24/03/2023 10:00

    Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 927
    You deserved it 587

    Where to start?

    By doggone - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United States

    Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 914
    You deserved it 103

    Turn off

    By no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 890
    You deserved it 212

    Hair code

    By MoreThanABadHairDay - 25/03/2023 04:00

    Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 885
    You deserved it 64

    For no one

    By NotEvenInTheRunning - 24/03/2023 01:00 - Ireland

    Today, in front of all my family, my grandmother said it was so funny how my brother was my mother’s favorite, while my sister was my father’s favorite. When I asked whose favorite I was, there was silence. From everyone. Including my parents. Guess I know where I’m not wanted now. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 809
    You deserved it 105

    Third on the podium

    By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - Pakistan

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 801
    You deserved it 74

    Skimpy

    By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Southsea

    Today, at the airport, I was asked to strip down to underwear. My clothes were sent away in the tray to be checked. I stood there, waiting for them, but my tray never came out. I asked the security team who said, "Oh dear", and walked off. I was left standing there barefoot, in my underwear. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 800
    You deserved it 81

    It's the thought that counts

    By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 00:00

    Today, I drove two hours to secretly buy an antique book my wife has been looking for for 30 years since her childhood copy was lost in a house fire. There was one other guy there interested in buying it, we were both cash buyers but with one difference: I was the one who forgot his wallet. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 791
    You deserved it 299

    Leftovers

    By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

    Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 785
    You deserved it 157

    Glitterati

    By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 12:00

    Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 779
    You deserved it 96

    Stealthy

    By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 04:00

    Today, I was on a date with a guy and we decided to go see a movie. As we were walking in, I saw my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend. I tried to avoid them, but my left heel got caught in a crack in the pavement and I fell face-first onto the ground. My ex and his girlfriend saw me, laughed, and walked off. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 773
    You deserved it 111
    Next

    Keywords

    Relationships Love Money Relatable Kids Parents Health Painful Poopoo peepee Gross Teenagers Annoying Sex Intimacy Awkward Friends Birthday Dogs Animals Shoes Crush Weddings Work Bosses Mysterious Mental health Internet LGBTQIA+ Weird Parenting
    Nearly FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I realized my addiction to this site is so bad that anytime anything shitty happens, I immediately start writing an FML post about it in my head. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 7
    You deserved it 5
    Today, I realized that I am unconditionally, irrevocably, and deeply in love with someone who doesn't love me anymore. I'd give my life for him and he won't even message me back. Life really sucks. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 63
    You deserved it 25
    Spicy Spicy Spicy
    Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 530
    You deserved it 82
    Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 719
    You deserved it 124

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