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Punished

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 817

You deserved it 22 769

Creeper

By Ugh-Lee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 4 016

Testing testing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hood River

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 655

You deserved it 5 494

Creepy guy

By iamnotalawyer - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Glendale

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 056

You deserved it 4 210

Thanks Andrew Lloyd Webber

By bdavis - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was using a power drill to take down the set for the musical we just finished. My long hair got caught in the drill, got ripped out, and now I have a hurting, bleeding bald spot the size of 2 quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 102

You deserved it 14 798

Unsolicited dick texts

By jaderie - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 660

You deserved it 4 793

The Royal wave

By momoftheyearedition - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Landenberg

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 974

You deserved it 2 429

Take what you can get

By Trim for now - 22/01/2022 01:59

Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 226

Evil child

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 02:01

Today, after my stepdaughter warned me that she’d get rid of me, she's finally successfully driven such a large wedge between me and my wife that we haven’t spoken in a month, and today she asked me for a divorce. Well played, stepdaughter, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 277

Bastard child

By Anonymous - 22/01/2022 11:01

Today, my scumbag son proposed to his sweetheart girlfriend with an engagement ring he stole off his sister's finger while she was in hospital unconscious after an epileptic fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 133

Leave us alone

By DepressedMama - 26/01/2022 12:00 - United States - Kula

Today, my husband and mother started supplementing my newborn son with formula, because they are such control freaks and don't like my son getting attached to me. He was doing very well while exclusively breastfed according to the doctor. But it looks like my happiness or my son's well-being is of zero importance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 95

Quick buck

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 20:01

Today, my husband sold a bunch of stuff from our garage to buy himself the latest Xbox. Unfortunately, the clown also sold the bicycle I don’t ride anymore. It was my nana’s vintage bicycle, with original wicker basket, worth several thousand to collectors. He accepted £80 for it on Facebook Marketplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 169

Sussy baka

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 04:59

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I get along with her mother just fine. Apparently, it’s not natural for a son-in-law and mother-in-law to get along this well, we should hate each other on principle, so liking each other just fine is somehow majorly suspicious and she can’t trust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 82

Nice try

By Patricia89 - 22/01/2022 22:59

Today, I came home early from work and caught my husband cheating red-handed, in bed with the other woman. His reaction was, “I was just joking!” and asked the other woman what she was doing here, and asked her to leave. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 89

Weak lemon drink

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 05:01 - Colombia - Medell?n

Today, my girlfriend made the case that sexting a guy she hasn’t seen in person doesn’t count as cheating, because her “hobby” predates our 3-year relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 121

Domestic

By I’d rather be homeless - 24/01/2022 17:01

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 136

Gimme the drugs

By Debi - 25/01/2022 01:59

Today, I scrambled to get out of work on the dot to go to a special pharmacy that closes at 5 pm an hour away. I arrived at 4:58. Upon reaching the door, one of the employees came and locked it in my face. Apparently, her going home early was more important than me getting my medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 315

Nice guy to the rescue

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 01:59

Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 1 161

Debt

By Anonymous - 25/01/2022 14:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after weeks of asking, I was finally given my debit card back from my parents. They’ve spent over $1000 and now I’m scared to know how much I have left. There was no mention of a reimbursement either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 148

Going swimmingly

By Anonymous - 22/01/2022 17:00

Today, all the roads going in and out of my town are closed due to flooding. I work 3 towns away, and was threatened with termination if I didn't come to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 71

Filthy animal

By Chris - 25/01/2022 14:01

Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 82

Big brained

By TiredTeacher95 - 22/01/2022 19:59

Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 75

Bag of frozen peas time

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 22:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I got sent home from work after a customer's daughter kicked me in the balls because her order was wrong. She was 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 96

Who am I?

By 4.0delinquent - 25/01/2022 19:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was kicked out of college for not attending a class I wasn't ever enrolled in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 95

Nightmare

By yomama - 25/01/2022 22:59

Today, I'm struggling with my mental and emotional health, as well as my marriage. Our 25 year-old daughter, who is failing at adulting, wants to move back in after only being gone for slightly over a year. I love my child, but she's a nightmare to live with. I'm gonna run away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 271

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 25/01/2022 11:01 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, after being bodyshamed by my mother for being too fat (I'm a size 14) and how I shouldn't be wearing shorts because it makes me look ugly and motivates people to comment on my body, I texted my boyfriend to tell him about it. His reply was, "Aww. you cutie. You know she's not wrong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 327

Fight Club

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 17:01

Today, my son finally stood up to his bully and gave him a smashing that he damn well deserved. I’m desperate to tell him how proud I am, but my wife won’t let me because “we’re not raising a thug” and after 17 years of marriage, I’ve learned arguing with her is pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 320

Social safety net full of holes

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 05:01

Today, I was yet again denied food stamps. They think I make $1000 a week with only 25 hours a week. Each time I have to apply, they say, "We get that number from your pay stubs." They don't understand that those are four separate weeks. I'm sure it's illogical for a part time bagger to make $40 an hour before taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 90

Manchild

By IFailedasaparent - 24/01/2022 22:59

Today, my son broke up with his fourth girlfriend in a row, because, “all of them get those period things and it’s annoying as fuck.” He’s 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 472

Punching down

By Anonymous - 22/01/2022 04:59

Today, my parents and I went on a hilarious tangent where we rattled off the most ridiculously dark jokes that we could think of. It was going pretty well, until my dad made a joke about diabetes. My mom is diabetic. Now my mom is furious at my dad, and he's blaming me for it. I wasn't the one who made the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 140

Nearly

Today, I found out that just because you turn off the iPhone you stole doesn’t mean the owner won’t track it down. Apparently with the new iOS feature Find My iPhone is enabled even with the phone switched off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 163

Today, I'm in love with a girl I can't get, I have social anxiety, and I only have a month until I never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 31

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing, and having lots of kinky sex with, I’m talking "confess to a priest or take to your grave" kind of kinky, is actually my cousin who moved abroad when she was two years-old, and only just recently moved back here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 54

Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 201