Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3150) - you deserved it (228)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, I popped a boner during a singing audition for no apparent reason. I had to stand there for three minutes and finish the song. FML

#21384034
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3092) - you deserved it (294)

On 03/30/2015 at 7:16am - misc - by uncontrollable - Korea, Republic of

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16214) - you deserved it (1065)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

TheCookieComet's comment : I think this gives you the right to watch porn openly

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Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

#21384017
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (11422)

On 03/30/2015 at 5:19am - misc - by getoffthephone - United Kingdom

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (948)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15331) - you deserved it (987)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

FkMySugar's comment : Kill her with kindness. Bitches hate that plus then she will look like the bad guy :)

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Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love with. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (1270)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Safiya's comment : you didnt have sex with her after that, right?

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Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

#21383795
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17049) - you deserved it (1299)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm - money - by BrokeAndSad - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14723) - you deserved it (1238)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

#21383638
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15557) - you deserved it (1198)

On 03/29/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (4736)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (9038)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (1415)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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