By Mystic Alan - 16/6/2019 18:00 FML's Weekly Horoscope - 16th of June 2019 Find out what bullshit the asshole stars and planets have in store for you this week! 0 Comments Favorite Share
By Ohdear - 16/6/2019 15:08 - United Kingdom - Leeds Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 84 1 1 0 43 3 Comments Favorite Share
By ImprovTeacher - 16/6/2019 14:05 Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 475 22 0 5 10 3 Comments Favorite Share
By Alan - 16/6/2019 12:31 FML celebrates our dads, the everyday heroes. It's Father's Day. Let's let them bask in the glory of doing things people have been doing since forever. 11 Comments Favorite Share
By Raspution - 16/6/2019 04:42 Today, I received my first customer complaint. It said, "I am a regular customer and when I come in, he is always smiling and tells me he will see me soon when I leave. This makes me feel very uncomfortable." Now I'm under investigation for sexual harassment. FML I agree, your life sucks 887 You deserved it 58 38 5 32 17 5 Comments Favorite Share
By reluctant teacher - 15/6/2019 19:41 - United States - Clarksville School's out for summer, thank God! Today, I had 15 teenagers literally laugh in my face when I asked them to be quiet. I'm a student teaching in a high school, which is the culmination of 2 years of my life and $20,000, and I might in fact actually hate doing it. FML I agree, your life sucks 746 You deserved it 116 35 3 5 5 5 Comments Favorite Share
By Anonymous - 16/6/2019 00:01 Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML I agree, your life sucks 1207 You deserved it 100 14 2 56 28 7 Comments Favorite Share
By traumatised - 15/6/2019 22:27 Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML I agree, your life sucks 1111 You deserved it 141 4 0 79 9 6 Comments Favorite Share
By laundryduty - 15/6/2019 20:14 Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML I agree, your life sucks 1031 You deserved it 89 9 3 47 62 2 Comments Favorite Share
By squarecircles - 15/6/2019 10:46 - Canada - Vancouver Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML I agree, your life sucks 792 You deserved it 312 14 4 2 44 6 Comments Favorite Share
By Fatty - 15/6/2019 09:00 - United States - Virginia Beach Today, I was walking in the mall with my friends when one of them pointed at a store and commented, "Bae Goals." My fat ass thought she said "bagels" and I actually got excited at the thought of eating a bagel, even after I realized my mistake. FML I agree, your life sucks 846 You deserved it 264 5 5 5 88 8 Comments Favorite Share
By Anonymous - 15/6/2019 06:30 - United States - Durham Today, I had a doctor's appointment because I've recently lost weight. I'm already underweight, and I was concerned because the weight loss has been causing some other health concerns to worsen. My doctor's exact words of advice? "Eating food usually leads to weight gain." FML I agree, your life sucks 1043 You deserved it 177 24 3 14 62 8 Comments Favorite Share
By Anonymous - 15/6/2019 06:43 Today, my husband was finally moving out. I picked up his enormous duffle bag full of clothes to help get him out faster, and I threw out my back. I now can't move. I can't even wipe my own ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 1003 You deserved it 458 11 2 58 40 4 Comments Favorite Share
By PaePae - 14/6/2019 21:31 - United States - Columbia Today, I found out that I'm sensitive to the NuvaRing. It felt like I was a buffet for fire ants. FML I agree, your life sucks 1059 You deserved it 92 19 2 55 10 4 Comments Favorite Share
By anonymous - 15/6/2019 02:25 Today, while I was walking along the sidewalk, someone passed by and said, "Tuck that nose in." FML I agree, your life sucks 1077 You deserved it 87 15 0 22 71 3 Comments Favorite Share
By Kenton - 15/6/2019 00:14 Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML I agree, your life sucks 1040 You deserved it 102 15 6 3 72 5 Comments Favorite Share
By 552220000 - 14/6/2019 22:00 Meanwhile, at Harvard… Today, I raised my hand to answer a question, but I forgot the answer, so when the teacher called on me, I just said, "I need to pee." FML I agree, your life sucks 921 You deserved it 358 4 4 5 119 2 Comments Favorite Share
By Hatilic_ - 14/6/2019 20:00 Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1169 You deserved it 91 48 2 13 16 7 Comments Favorite Share
By Alan - 14/6/2019 18:00 FML's 15 favorite f***-ups of the week! Whether it's people not understanding how the world works or just people f**king their shit up, this is the place to check out idiots... 1 Comments Favorite Share
By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 14/6/2019 16:00 Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML I agree, your life sucks 1202 You deserved it 148 5 3 7 118 9 Comments Favorite Share
By Ash - 14/6/2019 14:02 Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML I agree, your life sucks 773 You deserved it 75 15 2 6 34 2 Comments Favorite Share
By Anonymous - 14/6/2019 02:12 - United States - Anchorage Today, I got a targeted YouTube ad that was intended for someone who owns a graveyard plot. Glad to know my watching habits match those of an undertaker's. FML I agree, your life sucks 969 You deserved it 167 8 4 3 69 2 Comments Favorite Share
By Nextman - 14/6/2019 06:24 Today, my coworker, who is constantly singing "Baby Shark," wanted to take selfie for her Instagram account. She moved all the junk from her desk to mine, so her desk would look great in the picture. FML I agree, your life sucks 1299 You deserved it 130 29 4 12 49 8 Comments Favorite Share
By Not Again! - 14/6/2019 04:16 Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 1263 You deserved it 259 7 4 81 33 4 Comments Favorite Share
By dangeronpa - 14/6/2019 02:32 Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 1257 You deserved it 153 25 2 57 11 13 Comments Favorite Share
By Anonymous - 14/6/2019 00:01 Today, I gave my name for a lunch order, I even spelled it out for the cashier. When my food was ready, they screamed "Labia," in the restaurant full of people. My name is Nadia. FML I agree, your life sucks 1389 You deserved it 103 13 4 16 143 7 Comments Favorite Share
By Anonymous - 13/6/2019 22:00 Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML I agree, your life sucks 2001 You deserved it 185 25 7 247 54 17 Comments Favorite Share
By numbat97 - 14/6/2019 02:00 - Australia - Burswood Today, I bought some mandarins so that there would be at least one healthy thing in my shopping basket, and I wouldn’t feel like such a fat lard at the checkout. FML I agree, your life sucks 622 You deserved it 1125 22 6 5 86 12 Comments Favorite Share
By random1456 - 13/6/2019 18:00 Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML I agree, your life sucks 1678 You deserved it 139 97 3 41 31 4 Comments Favorite Share
By Emily 1992 - 13/6/2019 07:00 - United States - Klamath Falls Today, and for the past 3 days, I've had a massive migraine. It finally went away while I was at work, thanks to my nose bleeding all over the place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1401 You deserved it 76 16 3 106 15 15 Comments Favorite Share
Today, my visually impaired mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. If that wasnt bad enough, she decided to sit on my bed and warn me about... I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 28 2 Comments
Today marks 9 days since I had dental surgery where I had teeth removed. My face is still swollen & hasn’t decreased since day 1 of aftercare. I need pain... I agree, your life sucks 52 You deserved it 6 1 Comments
Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your... I agree, your life sucks 2001 You deserved it 185 17 Comments
Today, I returned from my year-long vacation to Brazil, having lost a lot of weight and feeling better about my self-confidence. When I met my uncle at... I agree, your life sucks 1973 You deserved it 144 10 Comments
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