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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML

#21525498
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2331) - you deserved it (781)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:22pm - misc - by SK8WITME (man) - India

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

#21525488
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2344) - you deserved it (391)

On 02/12/2016 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wet dreams - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

#21525452
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2304) - you deserved it (213)

On 02/12/2016 at 10:13am - health - by tooembarrassed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML

#21525409
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9886) - you deserved it (581)

On 02/12/2016 at 5:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

#21525394
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (600)

On 02/12/2016 at 4:00am - intimacy - by scarredforlife (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

#21525372
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9938) - you deserved it (2981)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:50am - love - by oblivious idiot -

BlueBaronBitch's comment : I feel bad but at the same time I feel bad for the girl for trying so hard

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Today, I got my very first tattoo. Excited, I sent a picture to my best friend. Her response? "You're joking, right?" FML

#21525357
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8330) - you deserved it (1906)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:41am - misc - by fml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's was really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML

#21525356
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9035) - you deserved it (1712)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:26am - misc - by Rachel - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

#21525261
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (1113)

On 02/11/2016 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML

#21525248
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10963) - you deserved it (1311)

On 02/11/2016 at 6:18pm - love - by HelpPlease - United States (California)

WolfsScar's comment : That's actually really sweet, if you ignore the giant creepy factor.

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Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

#21525225
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/11/2016 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by Electro (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, we had some workers come to paint my office building. As a receptionist, it's my job to stock the fridge with soda. I walked into the supply closet just in time to find a worker peeing in a bucket. I stood there for about 10 seconds before I understood what was happening and ran out. FML

#21525196
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10699) - you deserved it (759)

On 02/11/2016 at 2:55pm - work - by onlyolivia - United States (Maryland)



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Friday 12 February 2016

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