All the FMLs

What's that smell?

By fire!! - 07/09/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 20

I can explain

By SLEEPLESS - 07/09/2026 09:00 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I have my bedroom window covered in tinfoil, since there is an insanely bright streetlight right outside my window and nothing else works to block it so when I brought a girl back to my place and she opened the blinds, she saw the tinfoil and stared in horror. I tried to explain but she just stared and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 18

Mean girls

By Mark - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Alexandria

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 354

You deserved it 7 739

Clean freak

By Anonymous - 07/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at home, I always do my share of the chores. I just got back from a business trip and it turns out that I actually do ALL the chores. My wife was alone for 9 days, the kitchen was a in state, dirty laundry everywhere, cat litter box overflowing onto the floor, and the bathroom was fucking disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 30

Don't overthink it

By Anonymous - 07/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I suddenly gained a massive burst of anxiety out of nowhere when thinking about my upcoming assessment appointments for my back and hip surgeries. I need these so I don't end up permanently crippled due to spinal stenosis and a labral tear. The worst part is that I know I'm fretting over nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 37

Higher learning

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I’ve returned to college in my thirties because I was finally ready to commit to a program of study. Unfortunately, I have zero organizational or time management skills at this point in my life and I can’t keep up with deadlines. I waited all this time just to crash and burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 137

Miss you

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, it's my first birthday without my mom, who I was very close to. My friends asked a few days ago if I wanted to celebrate. I said yes, but nothing big. Just someone to be around. All I got was a brief "Happy birthday" text before the conversation moved on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 36

Cash

By Elmoo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 783

You deserved it 1 982

Nostalgia bait

By Distracted - 06/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found my old school yearbook while cleaning and decided to look up what everyone was doing now. I spent two hours searching for old classmates online, comparing careers and vacations. I then realized I'd completely ignored the pile of laundry I'd started cleaning the room for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 213

Islands in the stream [derogatory]

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 12:00 - Türkiye

Today, I noticed that I hardly communicate with anyone anymore. Yet another friend has sent a random link to our Messenger conversation with, “It’s just to remind myself about it.” Apparently our friendships have evolved into using each other as bookmarks instead of actually talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 65

Goldfinger

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 234

I'm really tired, chief

By sleepy and ill - 06/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my dad now insists I HAVE to be up at 7 am every day. I explained that even after waking up at 7 am for months, my body still couldn’t fall asleep earlier and I stayed chronically sleep deprived. He thinks I’m lying because, “No one’s body works like that.” I’m 30 and can’t move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 103

Flattened

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found a note on my car windshield that said, “Sorry about what happened.” I immediately assumed someone had hit it. After panicking for 2 minutes, I realized the note had been left by my friend, who had borrowed my car and accidentally left the radio playing overnight, draining the battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 50

Overprepared

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, it's been three days since I started preparing for a video interview, including practicing my answers and arranging the background behind me. Five minutes before it started, I noticed I'd been preparing for the wrong time zone. I was sitting in a perfect interview setup three hours too early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 168

Planning

By girlboss - 05/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I bought an expensive notebook because I wanted to become the kind of person who plans everything. On the first page, I carefully wrote my goals, habits, and schedule. I haven't opened it since. It is now the most organized thing I own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 206

WWE

By xxlenalunaxx - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after waiting for two weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 771

You deserved it 4 361

Social interaction

By Anna - 05/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Cornelius

Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 80

Perverts!

By Not that type of friend! - 05/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Chino

Today, my husband and I have been trying to find a new friend group ever since we moved states for his job. As if trying to meet people as adults isn’t hard enough, everyone thinks that just because we’re friendly, we must be flirting. We legit just want new people to hang with, not swing with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 53

No-go zone

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Batley

Today, while on the phone with my mum I mentioned that we were thinking of moving and had seen a house we liked. Her response? "Glad you’re leaving that crime-ridden area." The house we’re looking at is two doors away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 64

Dark times

By anaph0re - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 793

You deserved it 21 693

Fight!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 472

Oddly specific insomnia

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, the power went out. Thankfully, it was early in the morning so I should've been able to sleep through it. Then I realized I have an impossible time sleeping during power outages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 77

Entitled coworkers

By Fuck meat eaters - 04/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, my coworker brings in meat for lunch every single day and eats it at his desk. I'm a vegan and the smell makes me feel sick for hours. The management won't reprimand him or move either of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 146

Hermit time

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Holly Springs

Today, I’ve been divorced for six years. Dating is in the toilet, and so far my options are short, emotionally unavailable, or married. At this point, I’d like a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 342

Bye!

By mysterygurll1234567 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 025

You deserved it 3 772

What did I do this time?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Dover

Today, it's been 3 weeks since my girlfriend of 5 years stopped answering any calls or texts. I sent her a long email for closure (for me) only to get a response that she's on vacation. I had no idea she was going away and I don't know what I did. Time to get another dog and be done with "love" for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 76

The cat owner dance

By Anon - 04/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 85

We meet again

By BunniesOnAcid - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Clinton

Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 197

You deserved it 4 212

Petrolhead

By Whoopsie - 04/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally found a parking space directly outside my apartment after driving around for 20 minutes. I celebrated, parked, and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my car running with the keys still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 332

Hot mic

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and spent the time quietly complaining about one of my coworkers to my friend. When the meeting started, I realized my microphone had been on the entire time. Said coworker was the first person to say hello. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 494

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my "friends" and I were supposed to go out to eat to celebrate finishing the last day of school, but with a full day of work first, I decided to go buy them donuts. They decided to ditch me while I was gone, and go early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 002

You deserved it 919

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 535

You deserved it 3 395

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 656

You deserved it 3 516

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 4 708

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 483

Today, I spent time with some of my extended family. To give you an idea of their pedigree, I overheard a daughter ask her mom, "Why did you name me Chanté?" The mom, "After the wine!" The daughter asked, "What wine?" and her mom replied, "You know, Chianti!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 169