Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

#21526007
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7709) - you deserved it (1363)

On 02/14/2016 at 12:01am - misc - by Diet_Water - United States (California)

Today, I got a new phone. Only after berating the Sprint employee and Apple support desk because I could not call, text, or access the Internet did I find out that I didn't need to buy a new phone. It was just on airplane mode. FML

#21525894
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3328) - you deserved it (9416)

On 02/13/2016 at 6:06pm - misc - by JavitheWrestler (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer brought his cat in to be euthanized. I told him to "have a nice day" as he was leaving. FML

#21525890
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7785) - you deserved it (1477)

On 02/13/2016 at 5:56pm - animals - by FootInMyMouth - United States (Florida)

Today, I received my Valentine's gift from my fiancée in the mail. We broke up yesterday. FML

Today, my upstairs neighbor woke me with her sex moans, reminding me how single I'll be on Valentine's. FML

Today, while driving on the motorway, I sneezed so hard my contacts popped out. FML

#21525728
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9435) - you deserved it (643)

On 02/13/2016 at 4:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML

#21525713
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10485) - you deserved it (769)

On 02/13/2016 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

#21525687
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10317) - you deserved it (865)

On 02/13/2016 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML

#21525623
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (889)

On 02/12/2016 at 8:56pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my doctor misdiagnosed my kidney stones as constipation. Now, I'm shitting like crazy from the laxatives that he gave me, and I also have to pass a kidney stone. FML

#21525617
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15304) - you deserved it (850)

On 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm - health - by ugh - United States (Colorado)

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML

#21525610
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13598) - you deserved it (1838)

On 02/12/2016 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

XxPojoxX's comment : At least your cat won't get pregnant. Lol you should prolly take your cat to the vet

See all the comments →

Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML

#21525574
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15029) - you deserved it (1286)

On 02/12/2016 at 5:08pm - love - by SnurklesMcGee (man) - Canada

Today, I now know what it feels like to violently sneeze while a nurse still has a needle in your arm. FML

#21525526
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15828) - you deserved it (992)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

syki's comment : Could be worse. She could have been putting in a catheter.

See all the comments →



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