By bushburn - 1/6/2020 02:00 Pubes of steel Today, I had to finally give my boyfriend an ultimatum. Either he at least trims his giant mass of unruly pubes or no more sex. I feel I have no choice since his huge bush has left friction burns on my face and down below. He doesn’t see the problem. FML I agree, your life sucks 143 You deserved it 18 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brilee Bruxvoort - 31/5/2020 23:00 Don't give up Today, after finally putting my foot down and trying to kick my husband out for his alcoholism, I got a lecture from his parents about how much of a piece of shit I am for "giving up" on their son. I've been trying to get him to get help for the past three years. FML I agree, your life sucks 338 You deserved it 22 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/5/2020 20:00 Breaking Badly Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 24 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sweetlilthing - 31/5/2020 17:00 Understandable Today, my husband is depressed because the government is relaxing coronavirus isolation and he doesn’t want to have to return to talking to people, or having family drop by unexpectedly, or socialising at all. He prefers being stuck at home as an antisocial Xbox and Netflix goblin FML I agree, your life sucks 463 You deserved it 154 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dirty deeds - 31/5/2020 14:00 Still better than the Cats movie Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 602 You deserved it 48 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck Star Wars! - 31/5/2020 08:00 In a galaxy far, far away Today, my boyfriend and I got into a massive argument. I suggested we have a movie night. He suggested an all day/night Star Wars marathon. I’d be OK, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’ve done that at least five times in the last two months. He says I’m the one being unfair. FML I agree, your life sucks 878 You deserved it 85 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/5/2020 05:00 Father of the year Today, I realised that anyone who claims they enjoyed spending quality time together with their spouse and children during quarantine is a liar, a big fat liar. I know my kids aren’t even 10 yet, but god, I can’t wait for them to get houses of their own and move the fuck out. FML I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 930 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/5/2020 02:03 Priorities Today my husband cried tears of joy because we now have dates for : 1 - When our son can go back to school, and 2 - When the pubs will reopen. FML I agree, your life sucks 670 You deserved it 170 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/5/2020 23:05 What a charmer Today, after surgery on Monday, I can’t do much because of where my scars are until they heal. My husband won’t clean the house at all, dishes are all over my kitchen bar, laundry is all piled up by the washing machine. When I asked for help, he said it’s not his job. FML I agree, your life sucks 1222 You deserved it 147 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/5/2020 20:00 It never ends Today, I had a "nightmare" where I found out I had more homework than I originally realized, and spent the entire dream doing homework. There is no escape. FML I agree, your life sucks 927 You deserved it 102 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/5/2020 17:00 Call CPS! Today, I discovered via my webcam that my brother believes in teaching babies to self-soothe, which in practice means ignoring my baby until she stops crying, only changing the nappy once in the 7 hours I was at work, and forgetting to feed her at all because he’s too busy watching Netflix. FML I agree, your life sucks 1161 You deserved it 137 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Madisson Tharp - 30/5/2020 14:00 Station 19 and a half Today, while working on an ambulance, I got a call from my boss saying I’m fired for being sick too often. I cried in front of every patient for the last seven hours of my shift. FML I agree, your life sucks 1079 You deserved it 138 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By phlox_fml - 30/5/2020 08:00 Hammocking yourself Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML I agree, your life sucks 873 You deserved it 138 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf?! - 30/5/2020 05:00 Purple rain, purple rain Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML I agree, your life sucks 1164 You deserved it 181 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Willow McGarrigle - 30/5/2020 02:00 Condom advertisement Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1072 You deserved it 92 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bananapie69 - 29/5/2020 23:00 Serial killer Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML I agree, your life sucks 734 You deserved it 641 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 20:00 Addicted to love Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 668 You deserved it 606 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bh2000 - 29/5/2020 17:00 Pay up Today, I'd purchased a ticket for the train on my mobile app. Some idiot pushed past me on his way out and in the process makes me drop my phone, ruining it. A conductor then came to check my ticket and I got fined 150 dollars. FML I agree, your life sucks 1210 You deserved it 108 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 14:00 Mr Whiskers Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 778 You deserved it 235 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 08:00 Overdoing it Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 1063 You deserved it 195 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miguel Ezpeleta - 29/5/2020 05:00 Never get involved Today, I was working for my cousin. However, two weeks ago I found out my cousin's wife was cheating on him, through lying to her best friend. I told him, and he later told her. They've apparently made up, because I got fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 1134 You deserved it 145 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks ma - 29/5/2020 02:00 Today, on Judge Judy… Today, all of my credit cards were frozen due to fraud. The culprit? My own mother. She rationalized it by saying I "owed" her for raising me. She didn’t even raise me. My grandma did. FML I agree, your life sucks 1534 You deserved it 69 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EdibleCape - 28/5/2020 23:00 Nerves of steel Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broken up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 1179 You deserved it 223 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oGxFoopFoop - 28/5/2020 20:00 Shit's going down Today, I was taking a shit in my friend's bathroom when his brother's girlfriend walked in. Nobody decided to tell me that the lock didn’t work. FML I agree, your life sucks 1141 You deserved it 120 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 17:00 Asking for it Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 520 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guiltyschuldig49 - 28/5/2020 14:00 Noise annoys Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML I agree, your life sucks 1467 You deserved it 96 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 08:00 Lemon or haunted? Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML I agree, your life sucks 1343 You deserved it 131 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 05:00 Alexa, play "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 1261 You deserved it 131 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 02:00 Looks aren't everything Today, I was watching "My 600-lb Life". Most of the people on the show are married or in relationships. I cant even find a relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 1038 You deserved it 244 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 23:00 British Broadcasting Corporation Today, working from home due to the quarantine, things were going slow so I typed "Lola Fox BBC DP porn" into my team chat, thinking I was typing it into my browser. My supervisor took it down as soon as it happened, but people definitely saw. FML I agree, your life sucks 362 You deserved it 2068 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile silent but... I agree, your life sucks 6 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, while sitting an at home university exam, I started getting period cramps. I decided to use a heat patch to help. I left it on for the alloted time... I agree, your life sucks 10 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I had to finally give my boyfriend an ultimatum. Either he at least trims his giant mass of unruly pubes or no more sex. I feel I have no choice... I agree, your life sucks 143 You deserved it 18 1 Comments
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep... I agree, your life sucks 668 You deserved it 606 3 Comments