All the FMLs

Found it!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after a week wondering why my bedroom smelled faintly like oranges, I cleaned the sheets, washed the curtains, checked the trash, and even moved the furniture, I found the source: one orange I'd put in the pocket of a winter coat months ago. It was so gross, I had to toss the coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 20

Running late, or early?

By bkeiya - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Japan

Today, I saw my train pulling into the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been to. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 632

You deserved it 15 069

Thanks, I guess…

By Well, that's just bollocks - 17/09/2026 03:00 - Mexico - Tlalpan

Today, my girlfriend gave me her ex-boyfriend's hoodie as a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 14

I'm a good boy

By Trish - 17/09/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I took my dog to the vet and waited in the lobby while filling out a form. The receptionist asked for his name, so I wrote it down and handed it over. She looked at the form and asked, “Is that your name or his?” I'd accidentally written my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 109

Moving on

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my ex found out that I didn't cheat on her and apologized. I forgave her but now she wants me to leave my fiancee and get back together with her. She won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 38

The Times They Are A-Changin'

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I thought of this website for the first time in like 15 years. I wanted to laugh but now people just post actual sad shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 69

Hard pass

By Jessica - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 2 185

Check your luggage

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 74

Healthy relationship goals

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Wichita

Today, I learned that my girlfriend of 5 months blocked me and said I was stalking her, and that I was weird. She also let her friends make jokes about my hair, even after all the gifts. I was planning on asking her to homecoming, but now she’s letting some other guy ask her and won’t even tell me who it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 195

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and waited for everyone else to arrive. I spent the time quietly singing along to music in another tab. When the meeting started, my manager said, "We've been able to hear you for the last 5 minutes." I'd assumed the microphone was muted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 298

Fine, I'll wait

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 3 374

Losing my mind

By Phill - 16/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour looking for my wallet before leaving for work. I checked my jacket, bag, kitchen counter, and even the fridge for some reason. I finally gave up and took my spare card. At lunchtime, I reached into my coat pocket and found the wallet. I'd been wearing the coat the entire morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 135

Confusing

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 00:00 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, a guy I liked is moving away. He gave me a flower, saying it was a farewell gift even though he's moving to my hometown where I'm also returning to. I was confused because while it wasn't a rose, this isn't common where we're from. He then told me he's been in love with our friend since their first conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 59

IMPORTANT

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out my email folders and found a message I'd sent myself five years ago with the subject "IMPORTANT." I opened it, expecting something useful. It was a reminder saying, "Remember to look up what this is about." I apparently trusted future me far too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 197

Mystery solved

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, like every night, I heard a strange scratching sound coming from my bedroom wall. I checked the pipes, moved the furniture, and even called my landlord. He found the problem in five minutes: a loose radiator pipe. I'd spent three nights sleeping on the sofa because I thought something was living in the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 89

Too far gone

By Blie - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 4 629

Hogs gonna hog

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I, a retired U.S. Army soldier, was shouted down and called a liberal snowflake and even accused of stolen valor. Why? I admitted that I absolutely hate Trump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 115

Rescue me

By Julie - 15/09/2026 12:00 - Germany - Seevetal

Today, my mum has a rescue dog who grew up in a cage and, even after 18 months of love & stability, is still extremely loud and aggressive. So, bottom line, she ruined not only her own life, but also her partner’s, her cats’, mine, and the neighbours’, all so that ONE little arsehole canine can have a nice life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 117

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, despite knowing that I should never trust "Doctor Google" I was doing some research into what I could do about my spinal stenosis and the labral tear. I'm now seriously confused because working on my hip could hurt my back, but focusing just on my back might cause my right side to deteriorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 133

Unmatch

By themarrowguy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 418

You deserved it 4 411

Great first date

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my date asked how many kids and baby daddies I had. When I responded neither because I'm not like that, he didn't believe me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 60

Overheating

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 00:00 - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I always say my body is my worst enemy because not only do I have irregular periods with heavy flow and bad cramps, I also get it when I currently have a fever, the highest temperature being 102.8 (checked under arms). FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 56

He gets around

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 55

Push past the pain

By dying - 14/09/2026 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I learned that when you quit smoking, you get "Smoker Flu", meaning you feel like you're coming down with something really horrible. The good news is that my throat is so raw, I couldn't smoke a cigarette if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 81

Flying bastards

By ihateseagulls - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 4 184

Granny brain

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I tried to have a conversation with my mom. As usual, it turned into an hour long gush about how much she loves her grandkids. When I said, “You know you have children as well, right?” She goes, "Yeah but I only had them to have grandchildren for me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 59

Freaky family

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I found out I am pregnant. I hooked up with my step-dad not that long ago while my mom was out of town. I'm 30 and he wants to tell my mom my baby is his, and I like the idea of telling her, but also know she won’t take it well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 947

Spinning out

By PerfectTiming - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 147

You deserved it 4 760

Catwoman

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I thought nobody was around so I meowed loud as fuck but actually there was some dude right behind me on a bike. Yeah, I know that's my fault, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 411

Help wanted

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Leominster

Today, I just got the news that my mom wants to put down our dog because her back legs aren’t working well. I need someone to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 82

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last two miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 989

You deserved it 5 712

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 427

You deserved it 539 933

Random

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 899

You deserved it 10 170

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 012

You deserved it 4 028

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 304

You deserved it 2 353

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 366

You deserved it 4 142

Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 202

Today, the waiter took the cake with the engagement ring to another table. By the time he'd figured out his mistake, the other couple had left, with the ring. I demanded the security footage, and the couple didn’t just get up and go, they full on snuck out, making sure no one saw them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 143