By DontSniffMyHair - 7/7/2021 06:01 I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo Today, while sitting on the bus the man sitting slightly above and behind me leaned over my seat. All I heard was someone deeply inhaling in to my hair. I turned around and slapped him. Everyone saw what he did, but no one defended me while I was being thrown off the bus for assault. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 You deserved it 20 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thatsjustmee - 7/7/2021 04:01 - Canada Oh nose! Today, I was at rehearsal for a musical. I got a violent nosebleed in the middle of rehearsing and got blood all over my costume. I now owe $350 to the company for the damage I caused. FML I agree, your life sucks 130 You deserved it 17 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cad515 - 7/7/2021 02:01 Going too far Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try role play. She suggested I be a robber, so I went outside and tried to break in my window, wearing nothing but my underwear and a ski mask on. She decided it would be funny to call the cops, because it would, "add to the mood." They came. FML I agree, your life sucks 224 You deserved it 83 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cocomitchie - 7/7/2021 00:01 FAKE NEWS! Today, I have a serious bladder problem, which causes me to frequently urinate. If I'm unable to, I get really bad cramps. To ensure I always can go, I got a note from my doctor stating I can go during class. My professor threw it away and claimed it was fake. Hello, cramps. FML I agree, your life sucks 306 You deserved it 21 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/7/2021 22:01 Stop doing this Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 481 You deserved it 25 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/7/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton Panic in the sheets of Luton… Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 38 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Roida - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia Private Freakout Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML I agree, your life sucks 34943 You deserved it 2678 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KitDi19 - 6/7/2021 18:01 Victim blaming needs to die Today, I was hit on by a guy while I was walking my dog. He said some crude stuff about my chest. I called my husband to pick me up, and after he'd got me my husband blamed me for it, saying I should dress more conservatively. I was wearing a tank top with a zip up hoodie (unzipped) over it, jeans, and flip flops. FML I agree, your life sucks 545 You deserved it 58 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/7/2021 15:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich Public Freakout Today, my partner was driving. We were coming up to a sharp bend up a hill when suddenly a girl and a boy came speeding down the hill on a scooter. My partner stopped well before, but they fell off the kerb. We got out to check they were OK. The girl blamed us and kicked me in the balls. FML I agree, your life sucks 469 You deserved it 45 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/7/2021 14:01 Vibe check Today, I started my first day of nursing clinicals. My first patient was none other than my ex-girlfriend, who I recently broke up with. She has an STI. She told me I needed to get checked. FML I agree, your life sucks 582 You deserved it 57 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/7/2021 05:01 - United States - Gladwyne GHOSTS! Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML I agree, your life sucks 484 You deserved it 38 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scared - 6/7/2021 08:01 SIKE! Today, in my psychology class, the professor had us write down our name and birthday on one side of the paper and on the other side put down a mental disorder we would like to know more about. I was going to write 'Social anxiety disorder' but I was too worried about what people would think. FML I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 128 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/7/2021 00:01 - United States I had no idea! Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML I agree, your life sucks 534 You deserved it 36 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By litterbug - 6/7/2021 04:01 Nice day for a picnic Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML I agree, your life sucks 802 You deserved it 58 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eww David - 6/7/2021 02:01 Grossed out Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML I agree, your life sucks 589 You deserved it 86 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crushingdefeat - 5/7/2021 18:03 - United States - Staten Island Pillow Fight Club! Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 74 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lee - 5/7/2021 16:01 - United States Freak out Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML I agree, your life sucks 559 You deserved it 120 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mario Hugo - 5/7/2021 20:00 Circular Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML I agree, your life sucks 258 You deserved it 901 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grieving - 5/7/2021 12:01 - Australia Today, on Judge Judy… Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML I agree, your life sucks 883 You deserved it 26 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/7/2021 16:00 Pump and dump Today, my husband had to admit that he lost 5000$ on a cryptocurrency scam that some asshole Twitch streamer convinced him to invest in via Twitter. FML I agree, your life sucks 694 You deserved it 100 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By coolrunnings1021 - 5/7/2021 14:01 Back and forth Today, my wife is a tennis fan and is watching Wimbledon. I hate tennis, but she gets in a mood if I suggest we watch anything else. FML I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 462 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dirty boy - 5/7/2021 11:00 I'm just saying… Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 751 You deserved it 80 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/7/2021 08:00 Can't win Today, like nearly every morning, I got yelled at by a relative because I got up late. Nearly every night, I lie in bed with anxiety attacks because of her daily insults. I get up late to avoid her, but she decided that I sleep great, which makes her angry. She also gets angry if I get up earlier than her. FML I agree, your life sucks 803 You deserved it 67 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/7/2021 23:01 - United States - Steele Hot hot hot Today, after asking my family to quiet down at a restaurant, my mom told me to go outside. In 100+ degree weather. So I did, and after what seemed like an hour, my family ran out screaming because they thought I'd been kidnapped. I nearly got heatstroke to show my family that sensory overload is real. FML I agree, your life sucks 661 You deserved it 163 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/7/2021 04:00 Annoying internal jukebox Today, I can remember enough of a song for it to be stuck in my head, but not enough of it to help me identify the song. FML I agree, your life sucks 632 You deserved it 79 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/7/2021 01:59 Classic Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 771 You deserved it 83 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not a cheater - 4/7/2021 15:01 - United States Startled Today, I was writing in a journal as part of my therapy. I jumped and hid it when my boyfriend startled me by coming in. He now swears I must be cheating, that I’m keeping secrets from him and I trust a stranger with my personal thoughts more than I trust him. That’s kinda the point of therapy. FML I agree, your life sucks 782 You deserved it 137 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Seth - 4/7/2021 22:01 Shit yourself time Today, on my way to a job interview, I saw a dog running down the road so I stopped to pet it. It was a wolf. FML I agree, your life sucks 555 You deserved it 413 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brad - 4/7/2021 21:59 - United States Where did you guys come from? Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 770 You deserved it 46 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/7/2021 18:00 FUPA kings Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML I agree, your life sucks 934 You deserved it 98 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, my boss keeps on bullying me while at work. She's my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 You deserved it 12 0 Comments
Today, I've been feeling in the dumps for three days. A few months ago, I had sex with a supervisor before quitting the job I was working in, as I moved... I agree, your life sucks 13 You deserved it 23 0 Comments
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try role play. She suggested I be a robber, so I went outside and tried to break in my window, wearing nothing but... I agree, your life sucks 224 You deserved it 83 2 Comments
Today, I started my first day of nursing clinicals. My first patient was none other than my ex-girlfriend, who I recently broke up with. She has an STI.... I agree, your life sucks 582 You deserved it 57 0 Comments