All the FMLs

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my wife and I surprised our son with a trip to Disney World for his birthday. He said no because he wants to play his new PS5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 5

First and last date

By hairless by death - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 395

You deserved it 4 250

Point taken

By Billy - 06/07/2026 15:00 - United States - New York

Today, after a nasty argument about the "necessity" of cars, I accepted a challenge to move a washing machine with a bicycle trailer. I got it loaded on, then started off down the street. The first time I tried to stop, I ran into a ditch with the washing machine falling on top of me. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 249

Hero of the hour

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I stopped a car with its handbrake off from rolling into a group of kids by holding it until it stopped with me half under the tyre, dislocating my knee. Everyone said I was a hero except my dad, who threw an empty can at me because now I can’t push his wheelchair to the working men’s club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 22

Friends in need…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I made a trip that would usually takes three hours, but took over five thanks to holiday traffic, to comfort my best friend after another breakup with her horrible boyfriend. We'd planned to go and watch the fireworks; instead she completely ghosted me in this strange town so she and him could "work things out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 56

Caught in a lie

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with, "Liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 425

You deserved it 70 498

DMV blues

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I spent two hours finding, gathering, and printing documentation to go to the DMV to get my real ID. Makeup, hair, everything done, on my way there. They’re closed today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 232

A very good boy

By Dog lady - 06/07/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I volunteered to watch my friend's dog. Everything was great until I took him to the dog park and another owner asked what his name was. I completely blanked, spent ten awkward seconds making eye contact with the dog, then finally admitted I'd been calling him "Buddy" all morning. His actual name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 136

Double standard

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my former in-laws have been giving me crap for remarrying only four months after my divorce, yet they had no problem with my ex-wife remarrying only a week after our divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 81

Birthday boy

By Pround auntie - 05/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I carefully wrapped my nephew's birthday present so it would look perfect. He thanked me, pushed it aside, and spent the next two hours pretending the empty cardboard box was a spaceship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 88

Teamwork

By Jorgen - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 056

You deserved it 2 387

Stable genius

By Evelyn - 05/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Dunsford

Today, I was trying to get a tan on my grandma's back yard with my shirt off, and I was sure that she was sleeping. Ten minutes in, she wanted to know what I was doing while she got on her phone, and I got embarrassed because I thought she was sleeping, but she was standing RIGHT THERE. I HATE EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 313

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 12:00 - France - Lille

Today, I wore noise-canceling headphones while cleaning my apartment. Apparently I'd been singing at the top of my lungs for nearly an hour, because my neighbor knocked on my door just to ask if everything was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 268

News to me

By Paul - 05/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to ask someone out. She smiled, hugged me, and said, "That's so sweet. I'll have to ask my fiancé if he's OK with it." That was how I found out she was engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 91

Best wishes!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Federal Way

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 276

You deserved it 1 955

I wanna go home

By Tired - 05/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my flight landed after a 12-hour trip, and I walked out of the airport without checking a single bag. Twenty minutes into my drive home, the airline called asking why I'd left my passport at immigration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 292

Such an honor

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I was selected to throw the ceremonial first pitch at a baseball game. I practiced every evening for two weeks. In front of hundreds of people, I got so nervous that I let go of the ball behind me instead of towards homeplate. The mascot had to retrieve it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 113

The betrayal

By Anonymous - 04/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, if you ever need reminding that parents blatantly have a favorite child, remember that my mother tried to fistfight my sister’s ex-husband AND his mother when they weren’t treating my sister right, but she invited my ex and the woman he cheated on me with to a family dinner. Thanks Ma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 61

All planned out

By Annoyed - 04/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, after I'd spent ages planning a surprise proposal at the beach, right as I got down on one knee, a seagull swooped in, stole the sandwich from my backpack, and everyone on the beach turned to watch the bird instead of us. My partner had to ask, "Were you about to propose?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 89

Higher standard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Halfway through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 821

You deserved it 9 833

Just try stuff

By Tali - 04/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, a woman friend of mine bravely asked me for a date. Even though I'm a woman myself, I was not fully surprised by her request, she'd said she was gay during our first chat months ago, but I being straight I was surprised that I said yes, and how fun the date would be. Is it OK that I'm tempted to become her girlfriend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 229

Good vibes

By julia - 04/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a fight over moving boxes. It started with screaming and ended with, “I hate you and hope you feel unloved for the rest of your life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 84

Influencers out here causing mayhem

By Anonymous - 04/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Chino

Today, at the gym, I politely asked these wannabe influencers to stop recording with me squarely in frame. They laughed and continued. I got angry and nastily told them off, before calling management. Somehow I’m the bad guy here and earned the nickname “Kareniqua.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 76

Dirty old bat

By grannysmack - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 143

You deserved it 6 611

FIFA drama is insane

By Elissea - 04/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, at a World Cup watch party, my husband joked about how I’d probably eat all the snacks by halftime so everyone should eat up now. I told him that hurt and how he wasn’t the man I married anymore. He replied, “I should say the same thing about you. You didn’t do one thing to lose weight since the kids.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 222

How's FEMA doing these days?

By Anonymous - 04/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go to Bible Camp but my stepmom talked my dad out of letting me go because of those floods in Texas last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 123

My lifestyle choices

By Jfc stella - 03/07/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I looked at my daughter's bank statements after she came to us in tears, crying that she was struggling financially. She orders Uber Eats five times a week. When I pointed this out, she said that she has to order out because cooking makes her want to kill herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 101

A new friend

By Gag me - 03/07/2026 20:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, I met one of my company's big clients. The second he stepped into my office, the room filled with a stink like a thousand dirty jockstraps piled inside a filthy gas station bathroom. After he left, I commented on it to my boss. I was told that I would be meeting him at least three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 59

Dick move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 387

You deserved it 372

Brake check

By Suzie - 03/07/2026 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 396

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The Top

Today, my daughter, whom I consigned a credit card for, told me she was in a bit of financial trouble. It turns out that she was trying to pay off her credit card with the same credit card her bill was for, and couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 930

You deserved it 1 222

Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 953

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 815

You deserved it 4 408

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 060

You deserved it 2 258

Today, my neighbors threatened to sue me because a six-foot branch fell off one of my trees and into their yard, hitting nothing on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 236

You deserved it 238

Today, the man I love chose yet another woman over me. For months and months on end I’ve been trying to make him see that I would make a great girlfriend and life companion, yet he dismisses me and chooses other people. What do they have that I don’t? What do I have to do to be good enough? FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 025