By Anonymous - 17/7/2021 05:59 Touchy Today, in a particularly crowded section of the mall, I felt someone touch my back, several times. My self-defense kicked in, I screamed to attract attention, whipped around and threw a punch. No one was there; It was my ponytail touching my back. People were staring me like I was insane. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 You deserved it 84 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/7/2021 04:01 Nice guys Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend handed me this month’s rental statement with “Paid” written in red ink. He says it’s my gift, because, "that shit adds up every month" and I should be "grateful" that I have a roof over my head for another month instead of being "materialistic." FML I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 43 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/7/2021 02:00 Antiques Roadshow Today, I made a mosaic for my grandma out of her old crockery, after I had finished it, I found out from a neighbour that some of the plates looked like Wedgewood. So I dug through the stuff that I didn't use. It turns out the original lot would have been worth about £2000. With the stuff left, I'd be lucky to get £100. FML I agree, your life sucks 64 You deserved it 273 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/7/2021 00:01 Don't you want me, baby? Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 64 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2021 22:01 "Tubular Bells" starts playing… Today, my husband is terminal and insisted on making his last confession. Long story short, the priest came out pale and sweating and told me, in no uncertain terms, that my husband is definitely going to Hell, but won’t tell me why. FML I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 28 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 16/7/2021 20:01 Don't look back Today, out of pure desperation and loneliness, I went out with my ex-boyfriend. It ended with him hitting me and driving off with my car. He's in jail now. What was I thinking? FML I agree, your life sucks 316 You deserved it 260 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2021 18:01 Spreading Today, I found out that my best friend and I are pregnant. This would be much more exciting if my boyfriend wasn’t the father of both. FML I agree, your life sucks 544 You deserved it 57 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2021 16:01 The classic switcheroo Today, I accidentally texted my very strict and judgemental mom instead of my boyfriend. The text said, "I wanna lick ice cream off your dick." FML I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 555 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jensen - 16/7/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates Need beer now Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 737 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By that’s not how it works - 16/7/2021 02:01 - United States Fuck your "beach body" noise Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML I agree, your life sucks 599 You deserved it 53 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By It_gets_better - 16/7/2021 08:11 First step Today, I finally got my first job offer in my desired career field at the city animal shelter. I have a bachelor's degree in Animal Science, two minors, and I graduated with honors. The job I was offered? Cleaning kennels, part-time, on weekends. FML I agree, your life sucks 959 You deserved it 174 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share It_gets_better tells us more : OP here. I realize no matter where I go I'd start at an entry-level job; but even most entry level jobs that require a degree would pay the bills for my family. My biggest disappointment is that I was only offered a barely above minimum wage, part-time job, after a three-month application process. I spent hours watching recorded meetings and looking over the shelter's statistics and brainstorming...
By Anonymous - 16/7/2021 07:59 I KNOW! Today, my boyfriend mansplained to me that because Loki likes both boys and girls, he’s bi, not gay. I’m bi, and my boyfriend knows this. FML I agree, your life sucks 371 You deserved it 112 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Josh - 16/7/2021 06:01 - United States Social science Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML I agree, your life sucks 725 You deserved it 79 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2021 04:01 Bumpy ride Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML I agree, your life sucks 521 You deserved it 31 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justicewargrave - 16/7/2021 02:01 Drive by shooting Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML I agree, your life sucks 602 You deserved it 50 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BackHurts - 16/7/2021 00:01 - Canada Packed in Today, I paid $140 extra to get more comfort during a flight. The man behind me was so tall that his legs didn't let me recline the seat, and complained every time I tried to during the night. FML I agree, your life sucks 487 You deserved it 137 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zubat - 15/7/2021 22:01 Mirror, mirror Today, my boss confided that he doesn't like having interns in the workplace, because he finds it insulting that someone who hasn't finished their education can do our jobs. My boss frequently brags about being a high school dropout. FML I agree, your life sucks 607 You deserved it 52 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/7/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow Not a morning person Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 427 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By embarrassing - 15/7/2021 18:01 Choked Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 660 You deserved it 108 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By singlemom - 15/7/2021 16:01 Thanks for the help Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML I agree, your life sucks 721 You deserved it 117 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dina - 15/7/2021 14:01 Golden child Today, I found out my mother would rather sleep than attend my soccer games, volleyball tournaments, or see me win any awards. However, she was present to see the dog get potty trained, filming the whole thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 694 You deserved it 69 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fourth Wheel - 15/7/2021 11:01 Leave some for the rest of us Today, I met up with a couple I know, who wanted to introduce me to someone. I thought they were setting me up with her, but no. They were coming out as polyamorous, and she was their new girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 623 You deserved it 97 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By XRayXLopez1 - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas Catching up Today, I met a friend I hadn't seen in forever. After talking for a while, he says, "I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to you." FML I agree, your life sucks 12852 You deserved it 1589 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Poor doggo - 15/7/2021 08:01 Social parasites Today, I was walking my friend’s dog at the park as a favor. A stranger then struck up a little conversation with me about the dog. It turned out that the stranger I talked to was my friend’s landlord, who now knows that my friend was lying about her pet being a service animal and is threatening eviction. FML I agree, your life sucks 954 You deserved it 219 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/7/2021 06:54 RIP x 2 Today, my mother-in-law passed away. She wasn’t even cold yet when my wife told me she wanted a divorce. Apparently, only her mother guilt-tripping her kept us together the last few years, but now she’s dead, she’s dumping my ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 824 You deserved it 82 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hey Siri save me! - 15/7/2021 04:01 Meltdown Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 689 You deserved it 67 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Theo Edwards - 15/7/2021 02:01 Worried Today, I found out my girlfriend is talking to some guy from across the country. When I ask about it, she claims, "Oh he's just a friend, and won't talk to him anymore." Now she's doing it secretly and deleting messages. She has kids, and I care for them and her, but I don't know what to do. FML I agree, your life sucks 779 You deserved it 94 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/7/2021 00:01 Distant Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 634 You deserved it 97 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tiff8any - 14/7/2021 21:59 Hiding from the drama Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 767 You deserved it 107 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hailie - 14/7/2021 20:01 Sweet Sixteen Today, it was my Sweet 16. My cousin threw a tantrum in the middle of it. She popped balloons, threw chairs around, and threw my gifts off the balcony. Reason being, she turned 16 last year and didn’t get a party. She perhaps forgot that last year we were in a pandemic. FML I agree, your life sucks 786 You deserved it 83 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I realized that a few months ago, my parents bought my 12-year-old brother a PS5 with three games. At the same time, when I asked my parents to... I agree, your life sucks 53 You deserved it 2 0 Comments
Today, I’m only 24 but I get chronic fatigue syndrome every day and I just found out on Google that I either have Hodgkin’s lymphoma or liver cancer. This... I agree, your life sucks 39 You deserved it 7 1 Comments
Today, I accidentally texted my very strict and judgemental mom instead of my boyfriend. The text said, "I wanna lick ice cream off your dick." FML I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 555 2 Comments
Today, my soon-to-be-ex-husband decided to bring our four kids over to tell them we were splitting up, and to make them choose who they want to live with,... I agree, your life sucks 1203 You deserved it 89 8 Comments