Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3542) - you deserved it (1079)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

#21523593
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3511) - you deserved it (240)

On 02/07/2016 at 2:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

#21523579
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4409) - you deserved it (240)

On 02/07/2016 at 1:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

#21523525
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6033) - you deserved it (11012)

On 02/06/2016 at 10:36pm - work - by FailingMyCourse - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Xatraris's comment : Don't burn bridges until they're fully crossed, and even then think twice before burning them. You may have to cross it again.

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Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11545) - you deserved it (1926)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

breakingbad's comment : Was it actually sticking OUT of your suit?

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Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

#21523317
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10935) - you deserved it (919)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:56am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

#21523316
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10389) - you deserved it (958)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:42am - animals - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's been five days since I started my new job in a new town, just signed a lease on my new apartment too. Now I find out the company's closing down, and since I'm still on probation, I'm told I'm not entitled to any kind of severance. FML

#21523276
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13169) - you deserved it (1024)

On 02/06/2016 at 1:28am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9317) - you deserved it (7383)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

jazmin27's comment : must mean they're watching the video

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Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

#21523258
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11344) - you deserved it (827)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:04am - misc - by sick of this shit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

#21523219
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15255) - you deserved it (1149)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML

#21523215
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14098) - you deserved it (1373)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:11pm - misc - by cuntingbitchofawhore - United States (Indiana)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML

#21523204
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14430) - you deserved it (956)

On 02/05/2016 at 9:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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