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Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML

#21464524
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1730) - you deserved it (182)

On 09/04/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by siddance - United States (California)

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited all over me. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

#21464517
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1235) - you deserved it (184)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:46pm - kids - by brittsters (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

#21464501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7295) - you deserved it (560)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

nzhx's comment : Having to take your own child to court can't be easy, so I'm sorry it's reached this point, OP. Hopefully everything will work itself out, and you and your daughter can make amends. Definitely change the alarm code though.

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Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

#21464495
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5441) - you deserved it (377)

On 09/04/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. FML

#21464487
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5974) - you deserved it (535)

On 09/04/2015 at 11:58am - intimacy - by natalyV (woman) -

Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML

#21464483
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13261) - you deserved it (745)

On 09/04/2015 at 11:48am - health - by ACCCHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!! -_- (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

#21464474
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12992) - you deserved it (1142)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

pleasedie's comment : Congratulations ! You're dating one of those special types of idiots

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Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

#21464468
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13236) - you deserved it (1366)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:30am - misc - by fuckyoudeadgunnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. FML

#21464463
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15984) - you deserved it (1653)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:15am - misc - by idk (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got a hold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible". He was referring to me. FML

#21464364
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17524) - you deserved it (1288)

On 09/04/2015 at 12:40am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Attacksloth's comment : With any luck, he ends up single, and you and the other girl become friends and act as each other's wingwomen. :D

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Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML

#21464284
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15752) - you deserved it (1734)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

#21464273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16378) - you deserved it (1778)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:06pm - kids - by whoevenncares - United States

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

#21464255
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (4791)

On 09/03/2015 at 7:31pm - love - by bestgirlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)



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