All the FMLs

Thank God

By Dwarvahkiin - 08/08/2022 02:00

Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 1

Weirdo alert!

By CuteFeeties - 07/08/2022 18:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 36

The manosphere problem

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 22:00

Today, I walked out of a date after he told me feminism is "ruining society" and tried to convince me, with articles he had saved on his phone, that the female orgasm isn’t real like a man’s is FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 31

WTF dude?

By shit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 364

You deserved it 1 924

Livin' la vida loca!

By Mike - 07/08/2022 18:00

Today, I realized my life is very similar to my dad’s, except I’m only 55 and he’s almost 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 86

Repetition

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, after extensive tests, I found out I'm neurologically incapable of forming habits. If I stop doing something for any reason, I have to find a new way, or never do it again. This includes work, hobbies, study, and even basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 59

Which side are you on?

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I can officially say my parents spend more time with my cheating ex than me. Today is Sunday, and since Monday they have visited her on 4 days, leaving three days for me to see them, but on two of those days I had work, so I have visited my own parents once this week, while they saw her 4 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 50

Extreme measures

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 06:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 46

High value male

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 10:00

Today, my boyfriend has been fired from Amazon, rejected by the army, deactivated from Uber, and quit his fast food job. He also proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 149

The inconsistent gardener

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 994

You deserved it 10 937

Self medicated

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 06:00

Today, my husband is a chef and now he has Covid, he's so desperate not to lose his senses of taste or smell that he’s started gargling vodka to kill the virus in his throat faster. He’s even started squirting it up his nose, then crying because of the pain. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 69

Happily married

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I read an FML about a garter toss. It made me remember my own garter toss. None of the guys at the wedding wanted to catch it, and visibly cringed at the idea of touching it. Ten years later, it's all been downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 93

Alexa, play "All You Need is Hate" by The Delgados

By Heart broken daddy issues - 07/08/2022 04:00

Today, I learned for the first time it's possible to love your children, but not to like them at all. I learned this from my own dad, who told me he will always love me, but he never really liked me much, so now that I've moved out, he doesn't see much reason for us to see each other anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 53

Mr Commitment

By Alexander - 07/08/2022 02:00

Today, my ex is calling everyone I know, telling them I ruined her life. I'm not built for serious relationships, I was very open with her about that, the moment stuff gets serious I freak out, yet she chased me at every stage, then blamed me when I couldn't handle her demands for serious commitment, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 197

Just you wait!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 00:00

Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 131

Capitalists gonna capital

By sick-and-tired - 06/08/2022 15:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I’m fighting a Lyme disease infection. A tick bit me while I was sleeping in bed, gifting me it. I lost 15 lbs in 6 days, and can't work while treating it. I asked for pest control. My slumlord dad owns the place, refuses to fix it up, and told me no. I have no money and now my wife is sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 61

Oh, hi y'all!

By JC. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 868

You deserved it 40 377

That one embarrassing friend

By Tarik C - 06/08/2022 18:00

Today, while scouting a promising investment opportunity, my friend who escorted me kept referring to the area as “the hood” at full volume as we walked the street. Now I’m supposed to open a storefront there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 94

CPTSD

By Made to be miserable - 06/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized my parents are pretty much single-handedly responsible for all of the mental illnesses and personality disorders I have now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 162

Explain this, Elon!

By early adopter - 06/08/2022 14:00

Today, I've officially spent more fixing my electric car than I spent buying it, less than a year ago. My tenant's 20 year-old junk car, however, runs just fine. It broke down a few months ago and cost less than a grand to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 529

Time to rebuild

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 12:00

Today, my computer crashed and corrupted my games files and deleted over 100 hours of saved data. I have to now start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 208

Creeps everywhere

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Crestline

Today, and every time go I to the gym this guy follows me. A week ago, I saw him taking photos of me, so I left that gym and went to another one, but the creep was still there. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 62

Sax appeal

By blackcarnation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - South Windsor

Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 199

You deserved it 3 792

The world's greatest dad

By Nat - 06/08/2022 06:00

Today, I'd had enough of my ex-husband ignoring me and our son, so I threatened to take him to court for sole custody. He didn't even hang up the phone to his client, he just told me to go for it because our son isn't really that interesting anyway, not enough to fight to try keep him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 143

Noise annoys

By Headed Out - 05/08/2022 21:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I wore out yet another set of headphones. This is the third one in a year. I need my headphones whenever I go outside because I have sensory processing disorder, and a multitude of hearing disorders that painfully enhance my hearing. Guess I'm stuck at home until I can buy pair number four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 133

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/08/2022 20:00 - United States - Caldwell

Today, me, my mom, and my brother lost our house, the place we had lived for my whole life. I can't describe the pain I feel because my whole life was painted around that town. I had also just made friends as we were moving. I now live with 7 other people from my family. I can't be myself and I don't have my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 80

Not for everyone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 00:00

Today, a woman with the cutest baby ever sat next to us at Starbucks. My response: “Aw, how cute.” My adult daughter's response: “Ew.” No chance of a grandchild anytime soon I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 605

Who am I?

By explain please! - 05/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister and I decided to do one of those online DNA tests just for fun. Our mom came in, saw all the stuff on the table, and lost her mind. She started bawling and apologizing. Apparently, neither one or neither of us actually belong to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 72

Ganking

By Wow - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 587

You deserved it 4 282

Friday Friday! TFIF!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, it's the end of a truly great week. First I got my period, then my boyfriend broke up with me, then I woke up and found a ton of spider bites on me, I got allergies, I almost threw up when I was driving home with my dad, my acne is getting really bad, and I have no money. Amazing week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 92

Nearly

Today, I was at the movie theater, and an attractive woman was working the concession stand. She was so beautiful, I accidentally tripped over my tongue and asked for cop porn instead of popcorn. I was so embarrassed that I left immediately. I don't think I'm ever going to a movie theater again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 18

Today, it's my favorite grandpa's memorial. I live on a different continent and couldn't afford the flight ticket since he passed away 8 years ago, I couldn't even visit his grave, and never got to say goodbye. I miss him so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 1

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 31