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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (371)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

#21414880
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5509) - you deserved it (457)

On 05/24/2015 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13505) - you deserved it (1561)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you deserved it (11033)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

ThirteenThirteen's comment : I'm guessing God made her an annoying bitch too?

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Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19416) - you deserved it (1053)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

legendairy3000's comment : What a douchebag.

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Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15931) - you deserved it (1849)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16721) - you deserved it (1631)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

reklawelyk's comment : Get her some help if she's serious

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Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (1496)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17805) - you deserved it (3674)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

#21414249
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (1956)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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