FML : Your everyday life stories

Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Today, I messaged my "bestfriend" while already feeling down and all she did was argue with me and called me a piece of sh*t. Not only did I feel like a piece of sh*t, I had to hear it in the harshest way possible, from the mouth of someone I love. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Jazmine Moore" / Saturday 23 February 2019 18:00 /

Today, I tried to have sex with my bf as quietly as possible. I had to throw out my bed and my new one is coming in 6 weeks, so I sleep on the sofa. My flatmate asked me to either not have sex at all or keep it quiet. After doing everything to reduce noise, he can still hear every sound. Fml

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Faey - / Saturday 23 February 2019 16:00 /

Today... I went to get a haircut. I have a pretty bad case of dandruff, so whenever I get one, a lot of it shows. My hairstylist called to her nearby friend twice, then looked at my hair and said "blech" under her breath. I got glares when I walked out... FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ElectroSpecter - / Saturday 23 February 2019 14:00 /

Today, my computer completely stopped working. I can't get it fixed or get a new one for a couple of days, which is also when i have a work assignment due as I work from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Computerless - / Saturday 23 February 2019 12:00 /

Today, I'm preparing my defense for allegedly stalking someone at work. The best part, I have absolutely no clue who it is. Now my skin is crawling as I go through all the messages and in person events that occurred with my actual twice-my-age stalker to show my boss what a real stalker does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Luckless - / Saturday 23 February 2019 04:00 /

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By DefinitelyNotMyMeds / Friday 22 February 2019 20:00 / Canada

Today I met my girlfriend only to realize that she had a hickey on her neck, because she was with her ex boyfriend the previous night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By fmlindia - / Saturday 23 February 2019 04:30 / India - Mumbai

Today, I left the coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By relievedbutashamed - / Friday 22 February 2019 20:00 /

Today, I came home for Christmas’s vacation and for two weeks I had to watch over my drunk father and make sure he didn’t fall or choke on his own puke while my sister ditched me and my mom was on vacation in Florida... merry Christmas FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Pissed - / Friday 22 February 2019 18:00 /

Today I tried to drop a philosophy class because I have a credit I can transfer. The registrar told me no because since the new year makes it out of date, even though they were closed for the holidays so I couldn't do it sooner. Guess I'll learn what reality is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Ihateschool - / Friday 22 February 2019 16:00 /

Today, after reading a Vox article, my wife of 6 years keeps telling me how men need to be “put in their place” and that we are nothing but cash cows and sperm banks and otherwise “worthless”. But don’t worry, I am a “good cash cow”. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Always worthless - / Friday 22 February 2019 08:00 / United States - Schnecksville

Today I dropped my phone in a glass of water, lost my debit card, accidentally locked myself out the house and got a flat tyre within the space of 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By mrosewrosem - / Friday 22 February 2019 12:00 /

Today, my brother told me over text that I have shitty taste in games. I came home to find the discs to all my video games, including the Final Fantasy , Kingdom Hearts, Persona, and Metal Gear Solid games, etc. in the toilet. The only one still on the shelf was Call of Duty: Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By i’mfemalebutcan’tchangemyiconbecauseiusetheapp / Friday 22 February 2019 04:00 /

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Acne_problems - / Friday 22 February 2019 02:00 /

Today, I wasn't sure whether it was past the time when they stopped giving out parking tickets. I checked the meters on either side of my car, and both were expired, so I figured I was good. I came back out to all three of us having tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Maggie - / Friday 22 February 2019 00:00 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Thursday 21 February 2019 20:00 /

Today i had a anxiety attack about taking my anxiety medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Thursday 21 February 2019 17:00 / United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I just found out that my sister slept with the guy that I have had a crush on for years and that she may or may not be pregnant with his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Noelle Diane Irwin" - / Thursday 21 February 2019 16:00 /

Today, I got laid off from my new job and have to from NJ back to Texas. My old Texan home was condemned and I can't stay in NJ. The cable company told me my 30 day money back guarantee window for my TV internet phone and home security was over 3 days ago and they want $850 in cancellation fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Rock and Hard Place / Thursday 21 February 2019 14:00 /

Today, my mom came home crying. I held her and asked her what was wrong. She told me that we are probably gonna have to re-home our two horses, which we’ve had for 10 years, due to her extensive medical bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anon / Wednesday 20 February 2019 14:00 / United States - Alachua

Today me and my hubby wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. He’s always wanted to eat food off my body but never wanted to deal with the mess. He got a little too excited and ended up biting my nipple instead of the spaghetti. I didn’t know someone was capable of biting that hard for soft food.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ouch / Wednesday 20 February 2019 18:00 /

Today was my moms wedding and I was the maid of honor! I was so excited to walk down the isle with my mom, but the church was so dry I got a bloody nose 5 minutes before going down. I couldn’t go down the isle or watch my mom go down either. I had to stay in the back and hold my nose up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Blindjac - / Wednesday 20 February 2019 16:00 /

Today I found out that the man I've been seeing for the past 6 years had been seeing another woman for the past couple of months. On top of playing us both, he knocked up the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "fuckfuckfuck3" - / Wednesday 20 February 2019 14:00 /

Today, I got yelled at for doing too much at work because it 'makes the other employees look bad'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By / Wednesday 20 February 2019 12:00 /

Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from sex god to just a dad. Idk either. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Wednesday 20 February 2019 04:00 /

Today, I went to the pharmacy to get my medicine for my nausea because I am pregnant. I got the instructions and they're supposed to be placed in my rectum... my fiance openly read the instructions out loud and a older in the back guy said " Hey, now time to buy gloves! " FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Lydeara - / Wednesday 20 February 2019 02:00 /

Today I pulled extra overtime so after a 17 hour workday I got home and decided to just collapse into bed fully clothed, only I had left my iPad on the bed near the pillow, so I heard three loud crunches as I broke my iPad screen, my only pair of glasses, and my nose all at the same time FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By headbutt butthead - / Wednesday 20 February 2019 00:00 /

Today, our family got a new car and my 18-year-old cousin went for a test drive. When he returned, the news we got were my half-brother saying, “Don't worry, dad, it's still got two tires!” FML.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Petra - / Tuesday 19 February 2019 20:00 /

Today, my wife started talking dirty during sex. I thought of a meme I saw about using your customer service voice for dirty talk and I laughed until I went soft. She's never done that before, so she thought I was laughing at her. She's still mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Tuesday 19 February 2019 18:00 /

Today, my boss talked to me, and from now on, I have to work 3 hours more every day. Apparently I was always leaving early till now, and no one had the heart to tell me because I looked so bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By deerling - / Tuesday 19 February 2019 16:00 / Germany - Bielefeld

FML

Nearly

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a massive argument because I suggested he should get a part-time job while studying. The same boyfriend that i have...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my boss told me she doesn't care if customers complain and told me I needed to leave my desk with a line of 10+ people waiting to be helped because...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

Loading data…

Canada

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Australia

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

See all the World FMLs

Photos

See all FML photos

Spicy

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year...

I agree, your life sucks

Phew, glad it wasn't me

See all the Spicy FMLs