By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 17:02 I smell winter Today, in my mom’s house, I can stay in one of two rooms: The one that's clean, tidy, quiet and has a comfortable seat… or the one that's warm. FML I agree, your life sucks 83 You deserved it 12 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sacha - 19/1/2021 08:01 - Canada When nature calls Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 31 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 11:01 - Germany Sing me to sleep Today, there are two parts to my life: The 12 hours I spend in bed each night trying to fall asleep, with limited success, and the 12 hours I'm up and trying *not* to fall asleep, also with limited success. FML I agree, your life sucks 276 You deserved it 30 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 07:59 Bottom of the list Today, after my boyfriend used to tell me that, with his demanding job, he just didn’t have the time or energy for a meaningful conversation with me. Thanks to COVID, he works 90% less now, finding time for online college, cooking and new furniture, yet didn’t invest even one extra minute into our couple. FML I agree, your life sucks 309 You deserved it 63 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 05:02 Sticky situation Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML I agree, your life sucks 132 You deserved it 396 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 02:01 On a scale of 1 to Annoying… Today, I was telling my friend how much I love my 20-year-old kitchen scale, because it has this one handy function that even new ones don’t have. Later, my mom melted it on the stove and isn’t even convinced she should buy me a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 33 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 23:01 Supportive Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent me 5 pictures of his wife in a small bikini, saying, “Guess who doesn’t have your problems?” FML I agree, your life sucks 494 You deserved it 99 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 20:01 Neuter your pets Today, our cat is in heat. Her male counterpart is sitting outside my bedroom door, serenading her loudly, and has sprayed his piss all over the house, making sure she cannot escape him broadcasting his availability. FML I agree, your life sucks 225 You deserved it 657 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 17:01 Can't feel my tongue Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 562 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 14:01 Lazy git Today, my fiancé was offered a job by my boss working as a dishwasher. This is awesome, especially since he just got fired from his last job. When I brought it up, his reply was, "I don't want to work as a dishwasher." I guess beggars can be choosers. FML I agree, your life sucks 644 You deserved it 115 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 11:01 If it quacks like a duck, it's a quack Today, we got the news that my dad will be dying of Covid. My mom, former nurse, still insist it's a hoax and that the holistic route will cure him. FML I agree, your life sucks 796 You deserved it 47 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch - 18/1/2021 08:02 Fragile Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 564 You deserved it 63 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 04:58 Impressive Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML I agree, your life sucks 430 You deserved it 128 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 02:01 - Germany - Ebersbach Organisation rules Today, my college is so intent on teaching us teamwork that we hardly ever get to do any assignment by ourselves. Even if we could do it better alone. Even if we spend half our time trying to find a slot where all the team members are free to meet. And of course it’s a different team for each task. FML I agree, your life sucks 583 You deserved it 47 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By malicemassacre - 17/1/2021 23:01 Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies Today, I found out that the rivalry between my boyfriend and my only friend I have in this city was just a cover up. I'm now a single mom of a 2 year-old and a 5 month-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 770 You deserved it 107 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2021 14:01 - United States - Pittsburgh Cabin fever Today, the only thing more unbearable than lockdown is lockdown with sloppy roommates, who do nothing but complain about each other behind their backs to me, and also bring up past events like a broken record. FML I agree, your life sucks 557 You deserved it 58 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2021 10:59 - United States - Farmingdale What a tit Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 549 You deserved it 231 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2021 13:59 Check these out, guys! Today, instead of forwarding my male boss my Covid screening results, I sent him and the entire leadership team an email offer for testosterone boosters. FML I agree, your life sucks 246 You deserved it 544 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2021 11:01 Technology hates humans Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML I agree, your life sucks 799 You deserved it 167 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2021 01:59 - Jamaica - Kingston Thanks for being so compassionate Today, and for the past year, I've been struggling with depression because of family life. I've been talking to my mom for the past weeks, telling her things that happen when she isn't home as a way to build trust. I finally told her I have depression and have had had it for a long time. She laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 730 You deserved it 50 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 21:01 - Canada - Edmonton Seize the day Today, I asked my boyfriend what would happen if I didn’t get into the same school as him. He replied, "Then we’ll just break up." We broke up. I still don’t know what school I’m going to. FML I agree, your life sucks 578 You deserved it 103 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kikuhime - 17/1/2021 02:01 Oh, hello Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1242 You deserved it 64 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 23:01 Unloveable Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML I agree, your life sucks 720 You deserved it 60 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kayla - 16/1/2021 11:02 - United States - Wenatchee Never name-drop Today, I had a job interview. I have another job I want to leave, but haven't said anything yet. At the interview, I mentioned where I worked, and the interviewer name-dropped my manager. She then told me he was her step brother. So much for not wanting my manager to know. FML I agree, your life sucks 839 You deserved it 111 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 12:01 - Canada - Charlottetown No, not them! Today, after there was only one family that hated me enough to beat me up when we were kids, and we still don't get along as adults, my youngest brother is now dating into that family, and one of my older brothers is dating into that family too. It's like some kinda sick curse, or karma. FML I agree, your life sucks 614 You deserved it 85 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 14:01 Slow moving accident Today, I got into an accident, driving pretty slowly on a left turn signal trying to avoid a curb, sticking it out for too long, breaking a car's sideview mirror and causing scratches. The police was called. I have to appear in court for a misdemeanour for my first offence ever. Good bye student visa. FML I agree, your life sucks 479 You deserved it 308 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 04:01 - United States - Milwaukee Hello? Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 646 You deserved it 62 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 08:01 Unfortunate Today, I was eatings a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML I agree, your life sucks 674 You deserved it 93 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Asl94 - 16/1/2021 05:01 Are you calling me a fatass? Today, my mom asked me what I wanted as a gift, so I said a Cricut machine. She replied, "You don’t need exercise equipment, you need to eat healthier." A Cricut is a sticker maker. FML I agree, your life sucks 598 You deserved it 95 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By punkiebrew - 16/1/2021 02:01 Bacon lovers unite Today, my oven door fell off when I was trying to take out the bacon I was cooking. Why? Nobody hates bacon. FML I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 82 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today my therapist tells me to keep a list of things I am thankful for. The only thing I can come up with, that I am genuinely thankful for, is the fact... I agree, your life sucks 17 You deserved it 3 0 Comments
Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event.... I agree, your life sucks 46 You deserved it 25 1 Comments
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 494 You deserved it 99 3 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 799 You deserved it 167 8 Comments