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By Anonymous - 3/3/2021 14:30 - United States - Alexandria

Thanks guys

Today I was offered an opportunity on Instagram from a local lady to take photos of her home for her. I told my friends, because I was shocked. They were shocked too. But in the nicest terms possible, they were shocked because my Instagram "isn’t really professional enough to get such offers." Ouch. FML
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45
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14
1 Comments
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By Car Problems - 3/3/2021 20:01

Wreck

Today, I paid over $500 to pick up my car from the mechanic, after it'd spent almost a month there. It broke down again on the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks
150
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7
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By fax4voice3 - 3/3/2021 11:01 - United States - Greenwich

The climate is whack

Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
I agree, your life sucks
186
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49
1 Comments
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By Jules - 3/3/2021 14:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

One law for thee…

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks
347
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39
7 Comments
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By gassy - 3/3/2021 21:01 - Australia - Morwell

Stealth bomb

Today, my boyfriend and I were setting up a desktop PC we'd bought second-hand. In the middle of this, he stopped, frowning, sniffed the air a few times and said we'd better give it a good dust, because it smelt like burning. I'd just farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks
147
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280
2 Comments
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By Karenfast17 - 3/3/2021 14:58 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Are you experienced?

Today, I have to write my resume, and my teacher asked me about my secondary school activities. I'd never joined in any activities at that time, did no work experience, no volunteer work, except for two activities that I did in an institution centre this year. This all means I'm good at NOTHING. FML
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289
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131
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 3/3/2021 05:01

Lookin' good

Today, I was sitting in the bus station when an old woman looked over at me, then said to her friend, "Young women are so pretty these days." Her friend looked up at me and said, "That's because makeup is so cheap these days." FML
I agree, your life sucks
392
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69
1 Comments
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By naas1201 - 3/3/2021 02:01

What? Why? How?

Today, a girl told me, "You're so cute, like a monkey." I seriously don't know if it's a compliment or if I'm being insulted. FML
I agree, your life sucks
429
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42
3 Comments
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By HarrisonR - 2/3/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom

Cool

Today, while talking to a boy, he asked what my name was and in a state of panic, I said, "Daddy." FML
I agree, your life sucks
335
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273
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 23:01

That's a new one!

Today, I found out that the guy I was talking to for over a year, who told me he was dying from Covid, is perfectly fine and he just didn't want to talk to me anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks
574
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71
1 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 15:30 - United States

Time to adopt a bunch of cats

Today, I burst into tears when my 35 year-old cousin announced on social media she is going to be a grandma. Her 16 year-old son's girlfriend is pregnant. I am 33, single, and have been romantically invisible to everyone my whole life. I'm gonna die alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks
553
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113
10 Comments
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By leogs23 - 2/3/2021 20:01

Force of habit, or just mean?

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML
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554
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39
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By Anonymous - 3/3/2021 02:58 - Australia - Melbourne

Bad, bad mom

  Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML
I agree, your life sucks
668
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43
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 14:01

Be the hero

Today, I learned I will hand my daughter off to a complete stranger in order to provide help during an emergency situation. I don't know whether I feel proud to be someone who steps up in the moment, or mortified and ashamed that I gave my kid to a bystander so easily. FML
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496
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150
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By Daligheri - 2/3/2021 11:01

Sinking feeling

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after we watched Titanic for the first time together. Why? Two reasons. Because I cried, and apparently men aren't allowed to be emotional, and because she asked me if I would save her or a boat of women and children first. Neither answer was correct. FML
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697
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72
6 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 02:01 - United States

Whipping boy

Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks
617
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36
3 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 05:01

Men and their balls

Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML
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1040
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138
7 Comments
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By Atypical - 2/3/2021 02:01

Mother of the year

Today, after a lifetime of struggles, I was finally officially diagnosed with ADHD. Thanks to years of ridicule, punishments, humiliation and even beatings over something I literally could not control, I also have terrible depression and anxiety. My mom still thinks I’m making it all up. FML
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826
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85
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

You sleep in your pants?

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML
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603
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115
12 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 23:01

Hesitation

Today, I got a great job offer but things are constantly changing at my current position due to COVID. So I was honest and told them I wanted to see what my employer could offer. They took back their offer and gave it to someone else. FML
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275
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1254
6 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 22:30 - South Africa

Secrecy

Today, I found out my husband of one year has been renting his old batchelor's apartment in secret, because he is unsure if he wants to stay married to me, and we are broke. FML
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841
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67
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 03:00 - Australia - Geraldton

Not the golden child

Today, my father retired and made sure to buy both my younger sisters and their partners near new cars. Despite only one having a licence. Then bought the bare minimal definition of a "functioning" car for me, as compensation for paying off the family car on my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks
748
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69
6 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 11:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Missing the one

Today, I had a dream where I was with my last girlfriend, from five years ago. Nothing dirty. Just leaning on each other, talking, and smiling. Woke up and felt like she was really here, and now I miss her as much as when she had to leave the country. FML
I agree, your life sucks
763
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88
2 Comments
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By Niniva - 1/3/2021 08:01 - United States - Dahlonega

Scarcity

Today, after several hours, two pharmacies, several bus rides, $20, and many phone calls, I returned home. Guess who still doesn't have a glucose monitor? Yup, I have to go do this all again tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks
756
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60
5 Comments
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By HaroldLames - 1/3/2021 11:01

What have you got yourself into?

Today, the court is unable to allow me to divorce my wife because she is pregnant with our child. I have to wait until AFTER the baby is born, so that she is born inside of a marriage and not be an "illegitimate child". I was planning to move out of our house to go live with my high school sweetheart this weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks
250
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2052
18 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 02:01 - United States - Great Mills

A new enemy

Today, my cat jumped into my lap and sat on my headphone cord. I tried to get it out from under her by pulling on it. Big mistake. My cat is now eyeing the cord and will attack it if I move it again. I have expensive headphones and the cord is not interchangeable. FML
I agree, your life sucks
545
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328
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 05:01

Favoritism

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
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924
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73
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By fml9124 - 1/3/2021 02:00

Animal lover

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML
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709
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350
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 00:30

Hi uncle, I'm dad

Today, I found out I'm an uncle. Normally this would be great news, except I have spent the last 8 years thinking I was her father. FML
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1503
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47
4 Comments
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By SecondTimesACharm - 28/2/2021 17:01 - United States - Woodstock

Is that how it works?

Today, I tested positive for COVID… again. This pandemic has been going on for so long that after 11 months, my natural immunity has apparently worn off. I'm in the next group for the vaccine. FML
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824
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121
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Today, I and others were reading a book aloud over Discord, and when we got to the song lyrics, we all started singing them. My dad came over to yell at...
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  Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML
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  Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems...
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