Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6807) - you deserved it (2662)
On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8434) - you deserved it (704)
On 03/05/2015 at 8:38pm - love - by Not Homeless - United States (New Jersey)
↑ Emmamazing's comment : That sucks, OP. You have the sympathy from both me and the old man looking over my shoulder at my phone.
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8984) - you deserved it (626)
On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8136) - you deserved it (1574)
On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)
Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8897) - you deserved it (592)
On 03/05/2015 at 7:07pm - work - by pabj208 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7607) - you deserved it (779)
On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7369) - you deserved it (665)
On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (632)
On 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm - work - by phishy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (1404)
On 03/05/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by cheshirealyce (woman) - United States (Alabama)
↑ jada_crump's comment : Was it by the same person?..
Today, a coworker told my manager that I and another girl were plotting to get her fired at the end of the month. She actually believed her. Now we're suspended without pay for two weeks for conspiracy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (1319)
On 03/05/2015 at 12:10pm - work - by Completely Innocent - United States
Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16890) - you deserved it (3746)
On 03/05/2015 at 11:30am - misc - by lulinator (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10068) - you deserved it (30387)
On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States
Tuesday 3 March 2015
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↑ Vintage_Cola's comment : Your mother is fucking awesome XD
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