Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (190) - you deserved it (40)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

#21463833
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (850) - you deserved it (79)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:37pm - misc - by BeerSlut (woman) - Portugal (Vila Real)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (879) - you deserved it (61)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1589) - you deserved it (197)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

#21463756
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1731) - you deserved it (157)

On 09/02/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2910) - you deserved it (208)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13019) - you deserved it (2014)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

jelly_bennett's comment : I blame bronies

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Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

#21463691
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6052) - you deserved it (11943)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Tamil Nadu)

uhlexxiz's comment : Her FML: today, I found out my boyfriend had to activate his Facebook to find out my real name. FML

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Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

#21463683
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12594) - you deserved it (932)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

#21463645
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15108) - you deserved it (886)

On 09/02/2015 at 6:09am - health - by Lily (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

#21463642
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15516) - you deserved it (1032)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Timpa70's comment : Joke's on them. You were right to refuse them.

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Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

#21463628
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17413) - you deserved it (4525) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/02/2015 at 12:21am - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

#21463569
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16495) - you deserved it (1124)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm - health - by KenzoBVB - Canada



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