By phlox_fml - 30/5/2020 08:00 Hammocking yourself Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 You deserved it 8 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf?! - 30/5/2020 05:00 Purple rain, purple rain Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 47 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Willow McGarrigle - 30/5/2020 02:00 Condom advertisement Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 30 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bananapie69 - 29/5/2020 23:00 Serial killer Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML I agree, your life sucks 361 You deserved it 233 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 20:00 Addicted to love Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 292 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bh2000 - 29/5/2020 17:00 Pay up Today, I'd purchased a ticket for the train on my mobile app. Some idiot pushed past me on his way out and in the process makes me drop my phone, ruining it. A conductor then came to check my ticket and I got fined 150 dollars. FML I agree, your life sucks 745 You deserved it 56 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 14:00 Mr Whiskers Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 523 You deserved it 156 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 08:00 Overdoing it Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 757 You deserved it 139 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miguel Ezpeleta - 29/5/2020 05:00 Never get involved Today, I was working for my cousin. However, two weeks ago I found out my cousin's wife was cheating on him, through lying to her best friend. I told him, and he later told her. They've apparently made up, because I got fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 868 You deserved it 98 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks ma - 29/5/2020 02:00 Today, on Judge Judy… Today, all of my credit cards were frozen due to fraud. The culprit? My own mother. She rationalized it by saying I "owed" her for raising me. She didn’t even raise me. My grandma did. FML I agree, your life sucks 1188 You deserved it 49 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EdibleCape - 28/5/2020 23:00 Nerves of steel Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broken up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 937 You deserved it 189 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oGxFoopFoop - 28/5/2020 20:00 Shit's going down Today, I was taking a shit in my friend's bathroom when his brother's girlfriend walked in. Nobody decided to tell me that the lock didn’t work. FML I agree, your life sucks 950 You deserved it 102 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 17:00 Asking for it Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML I agree, your life sucks 788 You deserved it 447 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guiltyschuldig49 - 28/5/2020 14:00 Noise annoys Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML I agree, your life sucks 1234 You deserved it 80 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 08:00 Lemon or haunted? Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML I agree, your life sucks 1181 You deserved it 114 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 05:00 Alexa, play "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 1120 You deserved it 118 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 02:00 Looks aren't everything Today, I was watching "My 600-lb Life". Most of the people on the show are married or in relationships. I cant even find a relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 932 You deserved it 222 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 23:00 British Broadcasting Corporation Today, working from home due to the quarantine, things were going slow so I typed "Lola Fox BBC DP porn" into my team chat, thinking I was typing it into my browser. My supervisor took it down as soon as it happened, but people definitely saw. FML I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 1881 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 20:00 "Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger…" Today, my wife wants a divorce. Apparently, she only married me for my potential, since my twin brother is a lawyer, she hoped I’d become a success as well, but since I’m content to be a carpenter, she considers me a disappointment and a failure. FML I agree, your life sucks 1769 You deserved it 106 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 17:00 Fish and chips is life Today, my husband had his hands full with the shopping, so I was carrying the baby and the bag with our takeaway in it. I tripped down the steps and fell over. Did my husband ask if I or the baby were OK? Nope. But he did ask if I’d squashed his fish and chips. FML I agree, your life sucks 1242 You deserved it 153 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 14:00 Scarred Today, my niece asked why my veins were so close to my skin. She was referring to my stretch marks. FML I agree, your life sucks 980 You deserved it 118 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By my eyes!! - 27/5/2020 08:00 Knock next time Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML I agree, your life sucks 1326 You deserved it 114 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cpiro - 27/5/2020 05:00 Live from the chopper Today, my friend borrowed my car and decided to get pulled over after a high speed chase. My car got towed in a town over 100 miles away. Choose your friends wisely. FML I agree, your life sucks 1193 You deserved it 244 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 02:00 It's a marathon, not a sprint Today, I found out that the last girl from my graduating high school class is engaged to her boyfriend. I'm now the only guy from high school who's still single and I'm not even 30 yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 932 You deserved it 217 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 23:00 Incognito browsing Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML I agree, your life sucks 629 You deserved it 1493 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JessicaandGhazi - 26/5/2020 20:00 Expanding universe Today, I told my BFF that I went to the store to buy medium shirts because I had gained some weight during coronavirus. He asked me, "What's the point in doing that when you're getting so fat, those wont even fit in 2 weeks?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1217 You deserved it 272 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 17:00 Mind control Today, after my fiancee gave me $100 to spend at the garden center as my Mother's Day gift, when I was on my way home from the center, he called and yelled at me because I didn't get what he wanted me to get. FML I agree, your life sucks 1243 You deserved it 108 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KTBeck - 26/5/2020 14:00 Three is the magic number Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML I agree, your life sucks 1516 You deserved it 209 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks a lot - 26/5/2020 08:00 Stay alert! Today, my state began relaxing the quarantine order. We decided to take the kids for a nice picnic in the park to get them outside. First park we went to, we saw a homeless man openly pissing in the parking lot. Second park, we saw two teens fucking on the table. Day was officially ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 1365 You deserved it 258 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 05:00 Captain Dumbass Today, after my husband spent several days in his shed welding, he showed me his completed Captain America shield. It looked shit. I warned him not to throw it, but he threw it anyway, missed his target, bounced it off the garage and smashed the kitchen window, showering our kids in glass. FML I agree, your life sucks 1603 You deserved it 179 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, Pretty short and quick, tripped and went complete cannonball down the stairs crashing down on my knees breaking whats called the "ligament". So... I agree, your life sucks 22 You deserved it 5 0 Comments
Today, After years and years of fighting how I truly feel, I finally came to terms with my sexuality. But I can never come out to my family because they... I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 11 0 Comments
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep... I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 292 2 Comments
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that... I agree, your life sucks 757 You deserved it 139 2 Comments