All the FMLs

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 07:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 21

Manchild

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized I have to ask my husband if he’s brushed his teeth for the day the same way I have to ask our 5, 7 and 8 year-old children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 17

This doesn't feel nice

By feelthesting - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Mexico - Aguascalientes

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 749

You deserved it 1 870

Negotiate

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hired under the previous terms and conditions that fixes my managers salary at 38 grand. This means that the little scrotes hired this year will start at 32 grand, but get yearly pay rises, so they will be earning more than me in only 5 years time, and sooner if they get promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 54

Priorities

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I called off my wedding because I found out he was cheating, but my daughter is more upset that she spent $400 on a bridesmaid's gown and now can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 66

More fiber

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 16:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, after several years of effort in fixing my diet, I finally have consistent, reliable, solid shits, this coming after many decades of loose stools that caused my to clog my toilets regularly with too much toilet paper. Only now, my consistent, reliable, solid shits clog my toilets instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 60

Whoops

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I took a car out for a test drive to investigate a mysterious clunking noise. I heard the exact sound the customer had described, and then realized a wrench had been left on top of the engine and had slipped down and got caught near the battery. I had to come back and explain that the issue had been a skill issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 70

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 501

You deserved it 1 267

Be a better parent

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my boyfriend’s bitch of an ex about why she won’t let him see their kids. She laughed hysterically then showed me screenshots of all the times she offered to drop them off and the excuses he made. An hour later, she dropped three kids at our door and stopped answering her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 516

Seek medical help

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 64

Where were you?

By Numskull - 27/04/2026 15:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I showed up to my mate's wedding. There was a board for someone's 100th birthday instead. I screwed up the dates and the wedding was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 360

False economy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 980

You deserved it 27 784

Family time comes first

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job because my mom and stepdad forced me to go on our family vacation, even though my time off got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 94

In sickness and in health

By Boro - 26/04/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 112

Tetchy

By Be polite - 26/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I greeted every passenger cheerfully getting onto my bus all morning. At one stop, I said, “Good morning!” to someone who didn’t respond, so I repeated it louder… only to realize they were wearing headphones and now passengers were staring at me like I was a pissy Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 298

ADMIT IT!

By anti-drugs - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 533

You deserved it 4 302

Caught you slipping

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent my shift as a museum guard politely telling people not to use flash photography. At the end of the day, I leaned against a rope barrier to stretch my back, and the entire thing detached from the wall with a loud crack. A school group turned around just in time to see me standing there holding the rope like I’d tried to steal the exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 277

Small business woes

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I run a small online shop and I got an order from a new customer. I packed everything, added a handwritten thank-you note… and mixed up the shipping label with another package. One customer got handmade candles, the other got a box of unrelated items and a note saying, “Hope this smells amazing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 283

Cruel dilemma

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have both gout and diabetic neuropathy, meaning my feet are both too numb to feel pain while also being too painful to walk. It is not a fun sensation. Not at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 81

Undercover

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 555

You deserved it 4 785

Directions

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 21:00 - United States

Today, I had a hard time directing my dad to where we were supposed to throw out our broken toilets when we replaced them with new ones. I kept saying to go to the right. Unfortunately I was talking about MY right, not HIS right, and he was walking backwards. It wasn't until I said "other way" that he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 347

Grammar police

By Tiyo Bob - 26/04/2026 06:00 - Philippines - General Trias

Today, after over 30 years, I visited my home country. My nephew was driving us around, with my daughter in the backseat, and I was proudly telling him about her MBA in English and Communication. We passed by a mugging, and she went, "Did you just seed what I just sawed!?" Without looking at me, my nephew just went, "....a degree in what again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 335

It stinks!

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my boss is forcing my team to prove his AI project saves time. It doesn't, and it's mainly just RSS feeds. A few years ago, when I shared with him how these automated feeds could help us avoid doing extra work, he told our team not to use them. He never said why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 52

Get me the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 13:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out that I have to appear in juvenile court because I kept running away from home. I kept running away because my stepdad beats my mom and she won't do anything about it. They said I might have to go to detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 43

Payback

By AUDONEE - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. It turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an ad for a Siamese cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 299

You deserved it 59 878

Great management skills

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 15:00 - Germany - Kempten (Allgäu)

Today, my boss screamed at me because I didn't do what he'd said, despite him never giving me a specific order. A colleague was supposed to test an app. He can only do that with a tablet. How dare I give the coworker the tablet I was setting up anyway and not a specific one? He is done testing BTW. The app sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 60

Danger zone

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 06:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, despite repeatedly telling the nurse I'm severely allergic to NSAIDs, she insisted she give me Advil for my high fever. When I told her I would go into anaphylactic shock, she said, "Well you are in the right place to go into anaphylactic shock!" and then told the doctor I was refusing treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 60

Respect

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 03:00 - Curaçao

Today, I came home from school and went upstairs to sit on the balcony. I walked past my mom and said hello. She then got mad at me because I didn't ask how her day was. She said I should stay in my room and that I don't deserve dinner because I don't value her tasks in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 69

Bad boy

By wellokaythen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 205

You deserved it 5 161

Hard times

By Anonymous - 24/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my brother isn't going to have a funeral because my dad and stepmom can't afford one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 61

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Embarrassing Kids Cars Parenting Healthy Lifestyle Work Awkward Love Confused My ex Parents Vacation Money Sex Health Anxiety Depression Mental health Clothes Alcohol Poopoo peepee Ironic Weddings Birthday Transportation Bodyshaming Divorce NSFW

The Top

Today, in an effort to save money, I dyed my hair at home. I used the wrong shade, or brand, or maybe I shouldn’t have bought a cheap one, but now I look like a mutant traffic cone. My boss asked if I was “expressing myself” or “just having a midlife crisis.” I can’t afford to fix it, so I’m stuck like this for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 482

Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 431

You deserved it 1 670

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 594

You deserved it 11 488

Today, my university's dorms closed due to COVID-19 and when I asked my parents if I could stay with them, they said no because, "we're social distancing." They weren't joking, I have nobody else to stay with. I'm now legitimately living in a tent under a bridge until this pandemic ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 715

You deserved it 173

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 727

You deserved it 2 323

Today, I ride my bike 5.5 miles every day to get to and from work. My job is filled with a bunch of melodramatic 40-something year-old men that can't take a joke. I'm $10,000 in debt. I don't speak to my family or old friends, as they're no good and I'm trying to change my life trying but feel like I'm getting nowhere. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 269