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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4415) - you deserved it (574)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5658) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11814) - you deserved it (1050)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

#21382322
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11136) - you deserved it (1437)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by struckbystarzz (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13642) - you deserved it (1658)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

ohjoy15's comment : Proofread. Can never do it too many times.

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cutycat136's comment : Hey, he's a guy, at least he tried.

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Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Steve95401's comment : Even if the office has a casual dress policy, you should have worn a business suit for your interview.

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Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (1277)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stopped by my local bar to maybe meet some new people. I sat in between two groups. Within a minute both groups got up and left. FML

#21382238
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14007) - you deserved it (1536)

On 03/27/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by elizacandle (woman) - United States

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13903) - you deserved it (1871)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12774) - you deserved it (5280)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

#21381900
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (1550)

On 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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