FML : Your everyday life stories

Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML

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You deserved it

By sevenshotmovie - / Thursday 21 September 2017 07:00 / United States - Sheffield

World

Colombia

Today, I went dancing with my best friend and I went back with her to crash in her bed. I didn't expect her boyfriend to stay over too, much less in the same bed. And I definitely did not expect them to have sex while I was there either. Nor to learn that he moans more than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Thursday 21 September 2017 06:00 / Colombia

Today, I got some news from two colleagues, one of whom just got married for the first time, and the other whose long-time wife was recently diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer. I wrote each of them a heartfelt note, which would've been thoughtful if I hadn't mixed up the recipients. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Thursday 21 September 2017 04:30 /

Today, the city finally turned the water on to my new home after waiting for 2 months. This is how I found out that someone had stolen the copper water pipes from under my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By NoWater - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 18:30 / United States - Milwaukee

The customer is always a dong

Today, a customer filed a formal complaint with corporate about me, because I wouldn't help her find things she wanted while I was off the clock. We were in a completely different store than the one where I actually work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Obviously works everywhere - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 23:15 /

Seems fair

Today, so far, 3 of my employees have requested tomorrow off because of "emotional damage" due to Toys 'R' Us closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 20:00 /

Bored, she paints her face with gouache for a laugh, but then it won't come off: panic ensues!

What do you get up to when you're bored out of your mind? You probably get up to no good; that's what we do. And good luck trying to...

By Foxtrot - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 18:30 / France - Paris

Taking the Micheal

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years confessed to cheating on me during my recent business trip. Moreover, she doesn't want to cut off contact with the other guy, because she's afraid of hurting HIS feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Michael - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 16:00 /

Today, I moved in with my in-laws and don't yet have money to pay rent, so I'm keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. While trying to write a thank you card, I spilled black ink all over the new rug and it bled through to the carpet. I might need to find a new place to live. FML

I agree, that was well spotted

You deserved it

By Goober - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 14:30 /

Today, I started my new job as a UPS delivery guy. I successfully delivered only 3 out of the 25 packages : One to my ex and his new boyfriend, one to an elderly lady who pissed herself because, "I rang the bell to loud" and one to a little girl who screamed, "Stranger danger !" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By patate - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 13:00 /

Today, after years of pain and swelling in my foot from what I thought was chronic ankle sprains, I found out I have a broken bone in my foot. I have no clue how long it's been broken. FML

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You deserved it

indienerdgirl Say more :

Hey all OP here. I'm surprised this got published. But yes I did go to doctors and I got Xrays. Long story short is after the first sprain it became a problem during the winter months. My husband jokes that I like to kiss the sidewalk. I went to 2 doctors who just thought they were sprains and took xrays and saw nothing. One sent me to doctor #3 who thought my tendons were over stretched and sent me...

By "indienerdgirl" - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 09:35 /