By silver bear - 15/5/2021 17:00 Privacy Today, my dad saw my cleared internet history and said, "You do know we can still track your history with your IP address, right?" I don’t ever look at porn or anything like that. I just don’t want other people knowing all my business all the time. FML I agree, your life sucks 79 You deserved it 7 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/5/2021 14:01 - Germany 8 out of 10 orthopedists Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML I agree, your life sucks 137 You deserved it 17 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lipstick lez - 15/5/2021 11:02 Top brass Today, my boss told me to kick out of the hotel anyone who was clearly a prostitute trolling for men. I spotted a woman in a miniskirt approaching a guy in the bar, so I told her politely to leave. Despite the skirt, turns out she's the hotel manager and the man was her fiancé. I got fired so hard and fast. FML I agree, your life sucks 235 You deserved it 168 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anna - 15/5/2021 07:58 Ace in the hole Today, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero desire for sex. I’m well into my 20s and not a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 223 You deserved it 39 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 23:59 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo Money for whining Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML I agree, your life sucks 244 You deserved it 44 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jessie - 15/5/2021 04:00 Different together Today, my mom walked in on me shaving the tops of my legs. She called me a freak, since apparently women aren’t even supposed to grow hair there. FML I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 14 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deadgirl - 15/5/2021 01:59 Psycho Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML I agree, your life sucks 467 You deserved it 34 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sam - 15/5/2021 00:01 Where am I? Today, same as always, I still have to take a moment to distinguish between right and left. I’m 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 151 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 22:03 Just a prank, bro Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML I agree, your life sucks 630 You deserved it 105 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 12:59 - Colombia - Bogot? How Soon is Now? Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 984 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 11:01 - United States - Wilmington Unreasonable Today, my fiancé of over 5 years and I split, since I don't want kids and he does, which I have told him throughout our relationship. It gets better: we live in a house that his father owns and his father wants me out… in a fucking week. FML I agree, your life sucks 604 You deserved it 272 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Giselle - 14/5/2021 14:01 Customers… Today, two girls walked into the clothing store I work in. One of them pulled a shirt from the bottom of a huge stack, knocking it down. One of them asks, "Aren’t your gonna put the stack back together?" The other says, "No, that bitch gets paid to clean that shit up." FML I agree, your life sucks 741 You deserved it 51 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 14:31 - India - Delhi Bladdered Today, while playing cards, with my dad, mom and sister, I excused myself to go to the bathroom several times just to secretly chat with my crush. I laughed so hard at a joke that I wet my pants. My family thinks I need to see a doctor because I was going to the bathroom so often between card games. FML I agree, your life sucks 139 You deserved it 863 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maricela - 14/5/2021 07:58 Traitor! Today, I found out why my boyfriend didn’t want me to attend his graduation: because a classmate he’s been seeing was there. I watched through the livestream posted on the school website as they held hands, hugged and kissed. I motivated him to finish college in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1221 You deserved it 60 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ClumsyTeen - 13/5/2021 23:57 - United States - Staten Island Light sentence Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 156 You deserved it 1288 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bubble wrapped girl - 13/5/2021 19:01 - United States - Medford Bad omens all around Today, I got into a accident at the dunes, rolling a Razor buggy. Last weekend, I sleepwalked and microwaved my phone. Last month, I gave myself third degree burns while curling my hair. I need to live in a bubble. FML I agree, your life sucks 588 You deserved it 201 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 02:01 Sticking together Today, I was disowned in my family because of the pandemic, after I refused to quit my job and live at my parents house, with them supporting my family, so now no one in my family has acknowledged my existence since August 2020. FML I agree, your life sucks 799 You deserved it 46 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 00:00 Hello little guy Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML I agree, your life sucks 660 You deserved it 64 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dick. - 13/5/2021 22:01 Worst father ever Today, my father was watching the story on the TV news of a girl who was killed by an Uber driver when trying to return home. The only thing he said was, "Serves her well for being a slut." I have two younger sisters and one among them had a miscarriage after her abusive ex-boyfriend raped her. FML I agree, your life sucks 952 You deserved it 66 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jeanine - 13/5/2021 20:01 Strange kind of porn Today, I had to admit to myself that recently my biggest kink was watching Sam Seder debate libertarians. My oh my, watching him dunk on them on YouTube gets me hot and bothered. This feels wrong. FML I agree, your life sucks 230 You deserved it 481 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/5/2021 17:01 Pick me! Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML I agree, your life sucks 196 You deserved it 1385 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Essie - 13/5/2021 22:01 - Australia - Sydney Detective work Today, I found out that my boyfriend lied about not only talking to one other girl, but 5 other girls, and it wasn't just talking, it was wanting to meet up, nudes, sex, getting high together etc.. This has been going on for months, and even when I confronted him about it with evidence, he still denied it all. FML I agree, your life sucks 808 You deserved it 107 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Catherine - 13/5/2021 11:01 Nice guy Today, I announced to my boyfriend of 5 years that I was pregnant. He gave me an ultimatum. Either I "get rid of it" because he’s "not ready to be a dad" or he’ll "put me out on the streets." I’m unemployed and have nowhere to go if I keep it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1014 You deserved it 263 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/5/2021 10:58 Wage slave Today, I realised that my work office is the building that I have spent by far the most amount of time in throughout my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 597 You deserved it 77 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Loner_Lou - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London Coming soon, to a place near you… Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML I agree, your life sucks 41791 You deserved it 3142 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sara - 13/5/2021 01:59 - Canada Don't overdo it, it's bad for you Today, I have wasted so much time reading comments on this page that FML comments have become my favorite bedtime stories. FML I agree, your life sucks 469 You deserved it 206 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By YanezIbanez - 13/5/2021 06:01 Two things that aren't the same Today, my mother called me "wasteful" because I left the refrigerator door open and that "electricity money doesn’t grow on trees." This is the same person who lets my little sister have her light on all night, because she’s scared of the dark. FML I agree, your life sucks 288 You deserved it 1018 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Elizabeth Haygood - 13/5/2021 04:01 Dog hater? Today, I had a phone interview for a better position at work. I've been training my puppy recently not to bark. I put on dog-calming videos while she was in the kennel. During the interview, my neighbor's dog started barking and my dog immediately responded back. My boss ended the interview. FML I agree, your life sucks 794 You deserved it 113 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/5/2021 02:01 Sketchy Today, I met my boyfriend’s female friend. We all went out to dinner, he paid for her meal instead of mine, asked me why I’m not a redhead like her, and when he dropped her off at her house, spent the entire hour car ride talking about how perfect she is. He still has no idea why I’m upset with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1053 You deserved it 104 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/5/2021 00:01 Get creative Today, I was put in charge of painting a storage shed. The company owner ordered me to paint it a shade of blue. The site manager order me to paint it red. My boss ordered green paint. FML I agree, your life sucks 788 You deserved it 44 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, my mother called the police on my five year old daughter for drawing on a one dollar bill. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, at 1:30 in the morning, I was trying to charge my phone and it wouldn't charge, so I tried every charger in the house. When that didn't work, I... I agree, your life sucks 5 You deserved it 26 0 Comments
Today, my boss told me to kick out of the hotel anyone who was clearly a prostitute trolling for men. I spotted a woman in a miniskirt approaching a guy... I agree, your life sucks 235 You deserved it 168 4 Comments
Today, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero desire for sex. I’m well into my 20s and not a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 223 You deserved it 39 5 Comments