All the FMLs

Empathy is never toxic

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was sitting outside of a counseling center waiting for someone, watching an older lady bawl her eyes out as she exited the building. Absolutely broke my heart, because asking her if she was okay would have been intrusive and unasked for... and yet I can't get the sight of her crying out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 16

Assumptions

By Girlboss - 06/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was conducting a meeting via Zoom when I saw one of my subordinates drinking from a brightly colored can that looked like beer. I loudly called him out, interrupting one of my colleagues. He held it up and clearly visible was "SELTZER" on the can. Not even hard seltzer, just regular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 188

Butterface

By fugly - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Landenberg

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 114

You deserved it 2 387

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 06/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I spent 3 days preparing for a presentation and practiced it at home. It was my turn in class, but my laptop wouldn’t connect to the projector. The teacher said, “Just explain without slides,” which erased my entire brain. I stared at my classmates in silence before blurting out, “The slides explain it better than I can.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 39

Let it out

By Depressed af - 06/02/2026 09:00

Today, I'd built up the courage to talk to my doctor about anxiety, even rehearsing what to say. When she asked, “So what brings you in today?” I immediately burst into tears, said, “I don’t know,” then apologized for crying. She handed me tissues and said, “This happens a lot,” which somehow made me cry harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 57

Joy!

By KiwiMaid - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 2 208

Can't catch a break

By Later! - 06/02/2026 03:00

Today, I’m a night-shift nurse and finally had a rare morning off. I set 3 alarms so I wouldn’t miss my dentist appointment. I slept through all of them, woke up at noon with my phone on 2% battery, and I’d missed the appointment. The reschedule fee is more than my hourly wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 76

Take what you can get

By Ella - 06/02/2026 00:00

Today, I realized how friendless and lonely I am. I cried this morning as I recalled my older (20 to my 16) brother visiting last weekend. He began his visit by hugging me and saying, "I love you sis', thanks for letting me be your brother." His affection to me is the only hug someone not my parents has given me in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 64

Thanks Alex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 22:00

Today, I transferred rent to my landlord and realized I’d sent it to the wrong “Alex” in my contacts. My bank said the payment was already completed and they couldn’t reverse it without the other person’s permission. I had to message a guy I went on one awkward date with two years ago asking him to please send my rent money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 270

Kinda hot

By SadGf - 05/02/2026 20:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 100

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Bemidji

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 559

You deserved it 13 808

Ho hum

By Awks - 05/02/2026 15:00

Today, as an Uber driver, I thought I’d finally mastered small talk. I complimented a passenger’s perfume, asking what it was. She said it was her mom’s, who'd passed away recently. The silence that followed made me spend the rest of the ride saying ,“Uh-huh” to the GPS like it was a conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 65

Best prepared

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 12:00

Today, I called in a refill for a vital medication that I've been on since a couple of decades ago. No big deal since I called a week in advance. I then received a notification that the specific medication is out of stock at the moment, and they won't have another set ready for four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 41

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 09:00

Today, my door broke. My normally reclusive, antisocial cat, who runs and hides at the slightest noise, decided to come out and get friendly with the maintenance man. Now I owe a huge fee and my rent is increasing for having a pet I’m not supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 501

Hygiene police

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 141

You deserved it 17 134

Whiplash

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 03:00

Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 49

Harsh but fair

By Singlemamma - 05/02/2026 00:00

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 507

No fun allowed

By Elyri - 04/02/2026 22:00

Today, my husband came home and groped my ass, so I tossed cold water into his face to make him back off. He's now acting like I sprayed him with toxic acid waste now. What a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 720

Just take your food, lady

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 20:00

Today, my DoorDash account, which is my primary source of income, has been suspended. I got another ridiculous complaint from some overly sensitive Karen because she saw my three dogs in the car while I was delivering. It’s not like my babies were touching the food or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 835

Tonight, on First Dates…

By John_Elvis - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 655

You deserved it 3 601

Settled

By Just good enough - 04/02/2026 15:00

Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 67

One time thing

By Sofia - 04/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out I’m pregnant. My fiancé was beaming with joy. However, I’m not sure if he’s the father because I recently had hate sex/quickie with my ex-boyfriend, who is also my coworker. I wish the Earth would swallow me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 110

Idiot

By Father of a moron - 04/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 92

Ouroboros

By TheSuregeon - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 393

You deserved it 6 003

Picky eater

By Chez - 04/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 78

RIP

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 00:00

Today, someone took a shit on my father’s gravestone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 47

Chilly

By Bloody tp - 03/02/2026 22:00

Today, I had to spend five days at work, as we were expecting a snow storm and my position must be staffed at all times. My boss stocked the fridges with food, which sounds nice, but it was all frozen dinners and junk food. I've had so much diarrhea that my asshole is chapped and bleeds when I wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 68

Three piss suite

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 388

Assumptions

By Bellend - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 657

You deserved it 43 295

Baller

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 15:00

Today, I went to a coffee shop with the change I got back after buying a ball. After having waited in line for around twenty minutes, I was told that only credit cards were allowed. I'd left my wallet in my car because I thought I didn't need it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 121

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 433

You deserved it 6 167

Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 095

You deserved it 9 117

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 972

You deserved it 11 263

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 172

Today, my former coworker called to ask if he could get it on with my ex-husband. The same ex I was married to for 20 years without knowing anything about his other life. I've been replaced by an overweight, middle-aged furry. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 279

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 322

You deserved it 1 840