By Willow McGarrigle - 30/5/2020 02:00 Condom advertisement Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 117 You deserved it 10 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bananapie69 - 29/5/2020 23:00 Serial killer Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML I agree, your life sucks 225 You deserved it 122 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 20:00 Addicted to love Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 305 You deserved it 186 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bh2000 - 29/5/2020 17:00 Pay up Today, I'd purchased a ticket for the train on my mobile app. Some idiot pushed past me on his way out and in the process makes me drop my phone, ruining it. A conductor then came to check my ticket and I got fined 150 dollars. FML I agree, your life sucks 595 You deserved it 43 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 14:00 Mr Whiskers Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 127 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 08:00 Overdoing it Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 659 You deserved it 120 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miguel Ezpeleta - 29/5/2020 05:00 Never get involved Today, I was working for my cousin. However, two weeks ago I found out my cousin's wife was cheating on him, through lying to her best friend. I told him, and he later told her. They've apparently made up, because I got fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 797 You deserved it 88 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks ma - 29/5/2020 02:00 Today, on Judge Judy… Today, all of my credit cards were frozen due to fraud. The culprit? My own mother. She rationalized it by saying I "owed" her for raising me. She didn’t even raise me. My grandma did. FML I agree, your life sucks 1113 You deserved it 41 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EdibleCape - 28/5/2020 23:00 Nerves of steel Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broken up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 179 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oGxFoopFoop - 28/5/2020 20:00 Shit's going down Today, I was taking a shit in my friend's bathroom when his brother's girlfriend walked in. Nobody decided to tell me that the lock didn’t work. FML I agree, your life sucks 909 You deserved it 99 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 17:00 Asking for it Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML I agree, your life sucks 754 You deserved it 427 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guiltyschuldig49 - 28/5/2020 14:00 Noise annoys Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML I agree, your life sucks 1161 You deserved it 75 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 08:00 Lemon or haunted? Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML I agree, your life sucks 1138 You deserved it 110 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 05:00 Alexa, play "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 1086 You deserved it 114 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 02:00 Looks aren't everything Today, I was watching "My 600-lb Life". Most of the people on the show are married or in relationships. I cant even find a relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 906 You deserved it 213 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 23:00 British Broadcasting Corporation Today, working from home due to the quarantine, things were going slow so I typed "Lola Fox BBC DP porn" into my team chat, thinking I was typing it into my browser. My supervisor took it down as soon as it happened, but people definitely saw. FML I agree, your life sucks 310 You deserved it 1829 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 20:00 "Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger…" Today, my wife wants a divorce. Apparently, she only married me for my potential, since my twin brother is a lawyer, she hoped I’d become a success as well, but since I’m content to be a carpenter, she considers me a disappointment and a failure. FML I agree, your life sucks 1731 You deserved it 102 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 17:00 Fish and chips is life Today, my husband had his hands full with the shopping, so I was carrying the baby and the bag with our takeaway in it. I tripped down the steps and fell over. Did my husband ask if I or the baby were OK? Nope. But he did ask if I’d squashed his fish and chips. FML I agree, your life sucks 1221 You deserved it 151 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 14:00 Scarred Today, my niece asked why my veins were so close to my skin. She was referring to my stretch marks. FML I agree, your life sucks 960 You deserved it 114 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By my eyes!! - 27/5/2020 08:00 Knock next time Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML I agree, your life sucks 1310 You deserved it 113 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cpiro - 27/5/2020 05:00 Live from the chopper Today, my friend borrowed my car and decided to get pulled over after a high speed chase. My car got towed in a town over 100 miles away. Choose your friends wisely. FML I agree, your life sucks 1183 You deserved it 239 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 02:00 It's a marathon, not a sprint Today, I found out that the last girl from my graduating high school class is engaged to her boyfriend. I'm now the only guy from high school who's still single and I'm not even 30 yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 924 You deserved it 215 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 23:00 Incognito browsing Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML I agree, your life sucks 625 You deserved it 1476 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JessicaandGhazi - 26/5/2020 20:00 Expanding universe Today, I told my BFF that I went to the store to buy medium shirts because I had gained some weight during coronavirus. He asked me, "What's the point in doing that when you're getting so fat, those wont even fit in 2 weeks?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1208 You deserved it 270 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 17:00 Mind control Today, after my fiancee gave me $100 to spend at the garden center as my Mother's Day gift, when I was on my way home from the center, he called and yelled at me because I didn't get what he wanted me to get. FML I agree, your life sucks 1234 You deserved it 108 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KTBeck - 26/5/2020 14:00 Three is the magic number Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML I agree, your life sucks 1502 You deserved it 208 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks a lot - 26/5/2020 08:00 Stay alert! Today, my state began relaxing the quarantine order. We decided to take the kids for a nice picnic in the park to get them outside. First park we went to, we saw a homeless man openly pissing in the parking lot. Second park, we saw two teens fucking on the table. Day was officially ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 1359 You deserved it 257 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 05:00 Captain Dumbass Today, after my husband spent several days in his shed welding, he showed me his completed Captain America shield. It looked shit. I warned him not to throw it, but he threw it anyway, missed his target, bounced it off the garage and smashed the kitchen window, showering our kids in glass. FML I agree, your life sucks 1595 You deserved it 179 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By N/A - 26/5/2020 02:00 Time is of the essence Today, my job offer from a Fortune 500 company was canceled because of the coronavirus. This is the third time this year a job I passed interviews and tests for got canceled. I’m an international student who just graduated last week. I only have 90 days to find a job to stay in the US. FML I agree, your life sucks 1456 You deserved it 152 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alyxandrea Loffer - 25/5/2020 23:00 Small town blues Today, our town is so bored that the most entertainment we got was on the local buy and sell trade page, where someone posted that they got someone else's package in the mail, and everyone in town spent 6 hours trying to guess what was in the box. It was actually the highlight of most of our day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1088 You deserved it 144 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I had a "nightmare" where I found out I had more homework than I originally realized, and spent the entire dream doing homework. There is no escape.... I agree, your life sucks 8 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I had surgery on Monday and can’t do much because of where my incisions are until they heal. My husband won’t clean the house at all, dishes are... I agree, your life sucks 8 You deserved it 2 0 Comments
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep... I agree, your life sucks 305 You deserved it 186 2 Comments
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that... I agree, your life sucks 659 You deserved it 120 1 Comments