By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Saint-hubert Good tasting Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 116 5 3 22 9 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cipherbug - 15/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Orange Do not be afraid Today, I opened my fortune cookie to read: 'Do not be afraid to take that big step'. I had a lot of thoughts sucking on my boss's penis lately. FML I agree, your life sucks 173 You deserved it 356 9 0 13 34 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ElaborateScheme - 14/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Palm Beach Gardens Corner sofa Today, I came back tired and late from the library and fell asleep in my couch. When I woke up, I realized that everything had been stolen except my couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 541 You deserved it 41 5 1 34 6 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lethall - 14/12/2019 18:00 Best present! Today, I had my first threesome. It was a present from my girlfriend to 'temper my high libido'. I couldn't get it up. I ended up taking a huge dildo in my ass. I am now bleeding from my bottom. FML I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 1077 21 6 36 83 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00 Just a question Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML I agree, your life sucks 829 You deserved it 93 2 3 16 72 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "princessmia" - 13/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Sequim Felt so bad Today, my little brother played my phone, and then accidentally sent a nude photo of mine to our step-dad, and now I have to spend all day with him and my mom on a road trip. FML I agree, your life sucks 486 You deserved it 963 5 2 33 55 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kaley - 14/12/2019 03:00 Real dream Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 878 You deserved it 180 8 5 37 43 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HeatherCorinne - 13/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Savannah The laziness of a night Today, while in bed I was really thirsty so I grabbed the bottle of water on the nightstand and chugged it fast. When I was done I realized it wasn't water. FML I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 968 18 3 17 51 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 13/12/2019 20:00 Unconditional call Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2093 You deserved it 189 28 3 142 16 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By virginity - 13/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Cromwell Temptation night Today, I lost my virginity to the hottest guy. He told me that his parents were out of town, so I could stay the night and not worry. They came home to hear us moaning in his room. FML I agree, your life sucks 1240 You deserved it 349 8 6 19 104 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JooJoo2004 - 13/12/2019 03:00 - United States Silent noise Today, I was about to sleep at midnight, when my older brother came into my room, and started sucking on my toes. FML I agree, your life sucks 1472 You deserved it 98 17 6 185 19 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jor - 13/12/2019 01:00 Parental syndrome Today, my husband and I waited 6 years to have sex due to religion. We finally married and everything was great, until he enlisted in the military and was STD tested. My parents never felt the need to tell me I was born with HIV. FML I agree, your life sucks 2299 You deserved it 141 38 5 277 9 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Randomm - 12/12/2019 20:00 So cute Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 1192 You deserved it 764 13 4 35 88 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Egyptian ToyBoy" - 12/12/2019 18:00 In the middle Today, my girlfriend stopped in the middle of sex to sit on my face... I thought it was sexy until she peed all over me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1816 You deserved it 310 20 26 130 97 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford Courtesy visit Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1430 You deserved it 212 12 5 32 84 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DreDre - 12/12/2019 03:00 The charity Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1432 You deserved it 496 42 6 87 20 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/12/2019 01:00 Tasting a lot at high school Today, an old friend showed me pictures proving that my high school sweetheart, who is now my wife, was the school slut who would give anyone a blowjob in the toilets for a fiver. So basically every time I kissed her in high school, I was tonguing another guys cum. I feel physically sick right now. FML I agree, your life sucks 1857 You deserved it 316 47 5 146 47 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thefaekitten - 11/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Akron Certainly true! Today, My boyfriend and I caught my dad masturbating on my bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 1749 You deserved it 96 17 6 137 33 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 11/12/2019 18:00 Celebration Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 2140 You deserved it 198 34 7 187 87 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lilviss - 11/12/2019 14:00 - Australia It was yummy Today, I found maggots in the ketchup on my sausage. Too bad I had already eaten half of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1388 You deserved it 182 15 5 103 16 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anyagrande - 11/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom Thank you mum Today, I was brushing my teeth. My mum walked in and exclaimed "oh that is the toothbrush I used to clean the toilet!". Thanks for putting it back in the toothbrush holder, mum. FML I agree, your life sucks 1534 You deserved it 163 15 9 120 21 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jswag2004 - 11/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Elgin Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML I agree, your life sucks 1374 You deserved it 265 49 10 4 116 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By okthen - 10/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Pittsburgh One day with him Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years...by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML I agree, your life sucks 717 You deserved it 1335 14 7 17 102 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KonKos - 10/12/2019 18:00 - United States - San Francisco A bigger one Today, I decided to pay for sex. Turned out the woman I paid was a man, but that is not the worst part. His penis was bigger than mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 767 You deserved it 2102 11 12 17 250 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00 Not my turn Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML I agree, your life sucks 2002 You deserved it 640 31 7 210 63 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Miguel Seminario" - 10/12/2019 03:00 Throw it away Today, I was wearing an old t-shirt, my mom saw me and told me to throw it away, I replied: "one last use and I throw it" and she replied: "that's what your ex-girlfriend said before she dump you".FML I agree, your life sucks 1570 You deserved it 248 21 5 35 187 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/12/2019 01:00 Pleasant smell Today, while watching tv in my dorm, i clearly hear my roommate yell to someone proudly, I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here. He's been my roommate for four months... FML I agree, your life sucks 1478 You deserved it 150 7 6 90 38 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 9/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Newark My first love Today, I found out that my first and lovely high school girlfriend who cheated on me and then broke up with me, is now a prostitute. FML I agree, your life sucks 1477 You deserved it 216 47 13 18 158 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 9/12/2019 18:00 Slipping at a night Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML I agree, your life sucks 1887 You deserved it 456 33 16 79 151 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cadburry - 9/12/2019 05:00 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai Fascinating action Today, while I was masturbating I saw my little sister shockingly watching me, and said please, finish it quickly, I want to see your face when you are coming. FML I agree, your life sucks 1980 You deserved it 463 51 17 314 66 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today I found myself staring at a really hot girls ass, to then walking past and getting a good wiff of shit. FML. I agree, your life sucks 11 You deserved it 22 0 Comments
Today I was on my period, and was wearing a pad. My school was having a "fun day" which included a waterslide you went on while wearing clothes. I forgot... I agree, your life sucks 20 You deserved it 6 0 Comments
Today, I had my first threesome. It was a present from my girlfriend to 'temper my high libido'. I couldn't get it up. I ended up taking a huge dildo in... I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 1077 5 Comments
Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the... I agree, your life sucks 2093 You deserved it 189 7 Comments
Funniest FMLs of the Day
Weirdest FMLs of the Day