News

1

This Man Burnt Down His Home After Attempting to Kill Spiders with A Blowtorch

Lots of people hate spiders, but not many people go to such great lengths to kill them. When one Arizona man decided to unleash the...

By Nina - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 00:00 /

Today, I found a 2-page letter nailed to the door of my car demanding that I break up with my girlfriend, Janet, so that a "real man" can date her instead. I’m a single straight woman and I don’t know anybody called Janet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 20

You deserved it 20

4

4

0

4

50

By wait, what - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 21:00 / United Kingdom - Southampton

Dog Box Fail

Think outside the box!

I agree, your life sucks 75

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 7

You deserved it 7

3

1

1

7

By FML Approved - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 14:30 / United States - New York

News

8

A Man Who Was Arrested After Police Mistook Krispy Kreme Glaze For Meth Gets $37,500 Settlement

Nearly two years after Florida police wrongly arrested Daniel Rushing for possession of what they thought was crystal meth, but was...

By Nina - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 18:00 /

Today, my 28-year-old brother screamed at me and outed me to our very religious, homophobic parents because I wouldn't let him shock his friend with an electric dog collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1321

I agree, your life sucks 1321

You deserved it 123

You deserved it 123

11

20

3

103

17

By notout - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 15:00 /

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35054

I agree, your life sucks 35054

You deserved it 4379

You deserved it 4379

153

69

18

221

308

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 06:00 / United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 1351

You deserved it 1351

12

17

1

8

148

By Fire_Princess16 - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 04:20 /

Trying to Put My Life in Order

Life is just one giant storm sometimes!

I agree, your life sucks 268

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 60

You deserved it 60

1

5

2

2

21

By FML Approved - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 03:00 /

World

Canada

Today, during a romantic shower with my girlfriend, I slipped, fell, and took the both the shower curtain and rod with me. My dignity hurts more than my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1592

I agree, your life sucks 1592

You deserved it 196

You deserved it 196

5

8

5

16

124

By "Alex Neiva" - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:30 / Canada - Toronto

News

2

TV News Report Searching For Wild Cougar Goes From Dangerous to Delightful When Interrupted By House Cat

A Fox News reporter on location in Mississippi hoping to capture footage of a wild cougar on the loose stumbled across your average...

By Nina - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 00:00 /

Today, I was blaring the radio to drown out the sound of the kids in the apartment upstairs. They then started jumping in time with the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1731

I agree, your life sucks 1731

You deserved it 366

You deserved it 366

10

19

2

12

146

By Anonymous - / Monday 16 October 2017 23:15 /

World

United Kingdom

Harsh.

Today, I thought I was going to get lucky with my girlfriend. Instead, I learned that she thought I was an ugly, masculine girl. All of our "dates" had been her taking me out to improve her chances when looking for guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2470

I agree, your life sucks 2470

You deserved it 277

You deserved it 277

26

57

7

205

52

By Peridot - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:00 / United Kingdom - London

FML - The follow-up

Today, it's been a year since my wife and I moved to our new house, and 3 months since she ordered a new king-sized bed. I still don't know what the bed feels like, but I have an awesome relationship with the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3167

I agree, your life sucks 3167

You deserved it 548

You deserved it 548

33

198

11

63

66

Ghost563412 Say more :

OP here. To address some confusion: I don't sleep in the same bed (or room, for that matter) because I apparently snore like a rusty chainsaw. We moved into our new place a year ago with an old beat up bed, she ordered a new bed while I was out of state working 4 months ago now. To further clarify, I've napped in the bed once, and we do use it for purposes other than sleeping. However, she has to...

By MarriedSingleGuy - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:16 /

News

8

A Man Hid in the Woods For Ten Years to Flee His Nagging Wife

A Birmingham gardener had it up to here with his wife of three years after she wouldn’t stop complaining about his work . So he decided...

By Nina - / Monday 16 October 2017 17:30 /

Today, I realized that my work life is far less stressful than my home life. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1926

I agree, your life sucks 1926

You deserved it 134

You deserved it 134

8

24

2

54

89

By Cop-er-Pot - / Monday 16 October 2017 16:00 /

Photo

I agree, that was well spotted 801

I agree, that was well spotted 801

You deserved it 87

You deserved it 87

2

8

3

7

78

By FML Approved - / Monday 16 October 2017 14:30 /

Today, it was my best friend's birthday, so we all went out for drinks. She had a little too much and needed to be picked up so I opened her phone and called "bae." That's when I found out that not only does my husband have a second phone, but he's also cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3180

I agree, your life sucks 3180

You deserved it 114

You deserved it 114

14

26

3

361

16

By "missunknowno9" - / Monday 16 October 2017 13:00 /

Well Well Well

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1922

I agree, your life sucks 1922

You deserved it 235

You deserved it 235

11

14

4

44

103

By no good deed... etc - / Monday 16 October 2017 04:30 /

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2385

I agree, your life sucks 2385

You deserved it 270

You deserved it 270

12

33

1

221

77

By Anonymous - / Monday 16 October 2017 01:30 /

News

1

FML's 15 favorite and/or weirdest shitfests of the week!

Whether it's people not understanding how the world works or just people fucking their shit up, this is the place to check out idiots...

By Hawkeye Pierce - / Monday 16 October 2017 00:30 /

World

Canada

Insta-Creep

Today, a guy tried a pick-up line on me and followed me into a nearby mall. He left me after 10 minutes, but later sent me a request on Instagram. I never gave him my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2512

I agree, your life sucks 2512

You deserved it 141

You deserved it 141

11

37

5

245

17

By wilmaa - / Sunday 15 October 2017 17:15 / Canada

Today, my boyfriend and roommate got into a fist fight over a magic trick. They ended up putting a huge hole in the wall that's going to be expensive to fix. We're renting my boss's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2365

I agree, your life sucks 2365

You deserved it 303

You deserved it 303

18

18

4

80

97

By Toothless_Lasagna - / Sunday 15 October 2017 20:00 /

News

2

Could You Make It On Mars Or Are You Better Off Staying On Earth?

Elon Musk has announced his plans to start settling Mars all within the next several years. He’s made it clear that the future of humans...

By Nina - / Sunday 15 October 2017 18:30 /

Today, at a wedding reception, I accidentally caught the bouquet. I got cussed out by the women who were fighting over it for being uninvited and party crashing. I'm a busgirl and the bouquet only landed on the tray I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2889

I agree, your life sucks 2889

You deserved it 134

You deserved it 134

9

31

9

31

193

By not even interested - / Sunday 15 October 2017 16:00 /

Today, I woke up early and rushed to work to get to our first weekly safety meeting. I was the only one that remembered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2399

I agree, your life sucks 2399

You deserved it 181

You deserved it 181

5

78

8

17

98

By cam96 - / Sunday 15 October 2017 13:00 /

Today, I sat down at my computer for the first time in a week, and discovered that my cat threw up all over my keyboard. I needed to write up an important document but the chunks were stuck down in the keys, effectively locking it up and making it useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2547

I agree, your life sucks 2547

You deserved it 410

You deserved it 410

15

28

5

160

37

By Caci Johnson - / Sunday 15 October 2017 04:30 /

Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4761

I agree, your life sucks 4761

You deserved it 201

You deserved it 201

37

28

8

532

78

By anonymous - / Sunday 15 October 2017 01:30 /

News

18 FMLs About Being Bald to Celebrate National 'Be Bald and Be Free' Day!

Today we’re paying homage to the chrome dome, the naked crown, the cue ball, in short: bald heads. Maybe going bald sucks, but being...

By Nina - / Sunday 15 October 2017 00:30 / France - Paris

Adulting is hard.

Today, my boyfriend proudly pulled his bedding out of the dryer after washing it for the first time in three weeks. Unfortunately, he'd left it wet in the machine for a few days and it now smells like rotting cloth and mold. Sweet dreams, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2383

I agree, your life sucks 2383

You deserved it 287

You deserved it 287

14

94

5

41

56

By Reebee - / Saturday 14 October 2017 17:15 / United States - Asheville

Today, I offered to let my niece and brother stay at my apartment, as my brother was going through a rough divorce and had lost his job. After coming home from work, I found my niece had snapped all of my pencils and had ruined over ten years worth of artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3334

I agree, your life sucks 3334

You deserved it 232

You deserved it 232

13

25

5

316

10

By Anonymous - / Saturday 14 October 2017 20:00 /