All the FMLs

Routine and old habits

By lost - 02/10/2026 22:00 - Canada

Today, I left work early because I had a doctor's appointment. After sitting in the waiting room for twenty minutes, I realized I was at my old doctor's office. My actual appointment was across town. I was already late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 24

I'm not awake yet

By Anonymous - 02/10/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I bought a coffee on my way to work and put it in the cup holder. At the next red light, I noticed it was empty. I'd apparently forgotten to put the lid on. My passenger seat was covered in coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 54

Healthy appetite

By ashamed - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 219

You deserved it 4 414

Dodgy fella

By Sarah - 02/10/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 132

Ew, brother!

By Anonymous - 02/10/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom opens at McDonald's, and I go with her to chill before walking to the bus stop. The lobby was closed. I had to shit so bad, I was knocking on the door, and usually they let me in, but nobody noticed. I had to shit so incredibly bad. so… I went into the car and found an old McDonald's cup and some napkins… FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 47

Take a hike

By juliestrawsky - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was paid to be in a commercial, playing a hiker, camping and grilling by a tent with my pretend boyfriend. To make our on-camera interaction more believable, I suggested to him, "Hey, I'm gonna feed you some food, into your mouth." His answer, "Naaah, I'm good." I got rejected on a FAKE date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 734

College reunion

By H - 02/10/2026 03:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I ran into my middle school crush in college. He said he found my public art account and saw my drawings from middle school on there. Except I made that account in high school and the drawings on there are all recent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 71

The ick

By Clean toilet empty bed - 02/10/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 32

Harsh

By Anonymous - 01/10/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad took my son out of his will, so I confronted him. Turns out he has a new policy of “not rewarding dumb behaviour.” He’s willing to put him back in the will, if he ever scores over 120 on an IQ test. I love my son, but he’s a happy goldfish, 120 is just never happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 67

Which is worse?

By Anonymous - 01/10/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband was diagnosed with cancer, but that's not the worst part. He immediately told me he wanted a divorce afterwards. He insists that he's doing it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 42

Ewwww, dude

By unknown - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 480

You deserved it 4 854

Cats and fish

By Anonymous - 01/10/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I decided to try online dating, but installed a IP tracker link before I did. Every freaking profile who messaged me was from Nigeria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 35

Classic annoyance

By Anonymous - 01/10/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I was making dinner when my smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and waved a towel underneath it. After ten minutes, I realized the alarm wasn't reacting to the food. Its battery was dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 119

Lucky day

By Anonymous - 01/10/2026 09:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was cleaning my apartment when I found a €20 note underneath the sofa cushion. I was pretty happy until I remembered I'd lost €20 a few days earlier and spent an hour looking for it. I'd finally found my own money and felt lucky about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 71

Strange flex, but OK

By Jpah - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 145

You deserved it 3 968

The message

By Alex - 01/10/2026 00:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I bought a birthday card, wrote a long message, then sealed the envelope. At the party, I handed it over and immediately noticed the name on the front. I'd bought two cards at the same time and given her the one meant for someone else, my secret crush. I fled as soon as I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 314

The limp

By xxxxx - 30/09/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work that I'd bought yesterday. Around lunchtime, I finally realised that one shoe felt slightly tighter than the other. I took it off and found some paper stuffing still inside. I'd spent five hours walking around with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 283

Optical illusion

By Anonymous - 30/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I got home and noticed my kitchen light was on. I was annoyed because I'd definitely switched it off that morning. Then I noticed that I'd left the curtains open. The sun was shining directly through the window onto the wall. I'd spent five minutes investigating sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 257

Fate

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'd be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 717

You deserved it 7 719

GeoGuessr not so much

By food plz - 30/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I ordered takeaway and waited outside my building for the delivery driver. After ten minutes, he called and said he'd arrived. I told him I couldn't see him. He said he was standing outside my building. We were both outside different buildings with the same number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 58

Arbitrary recruitment methods

By Better company is calling? BYE!!! - 30/09/2026 12:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, during a job interview, the recruiters obviously ran out of ammo and were winging it. They made us do certain "activities" and one was by showing them our phone's wallpaper. Mine has a picture of a cute anime video game witch with a slight panty shot. Guess who got judged and did not move to the next stage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 420

Welcome home!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year, I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 569

You deserved it 3 524

A rock and a hard place

By Vicious cycle - 30/09/2026 03:00 - Germany - Essen

Today, after nearly three weeks of gastritis, my stomach has finally calmed down and I'm no longer feeling sick all day. Also today I woke up with a debilitating migraine and I can't function without taking pain medication. Guess how my stomach likes that… FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 63

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 30/09/2026 00:00 - Portugal

Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 89

Thnks…

By Anonymous - 29/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, it's my 66th birthday. My parents gave me a Stinging Cactus. It's already stuck me 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 92

The Blob

By Anonymous - 29/09/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband's five days of constipation came to an abrupt end when he woke up, farted, tried to dash to the bathroom but didn’t make it in time. He then proceeded to drop a log on the hallway carpet over a foot long, as thick as a can of Lynx antiperspirant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 45

Mixed messages

By mook - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 548

You deserved it 5 768

Cat meet fish

By Am I gay…?? - 29/09/2026 15:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, I was riding on a bus while texting my online girlfriend that I've known her for two years, I asked her, “We’ve known each other for two years, shall we now meet each other publicly?” Next to me there was a 50 year-old man. As soon as I sent the message on my phone, I heard a ding sound from that man. Then he smiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 163

Divine intervention?

By You’re not Mary, I know you cheated! - 29/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, we learned that my fiancée was having a cryptic pregnancy when she went to the hospital fearing food poisoning and came out with a baby. She never gained a pound or showed any symptoms at all. Even more miraculous is that we’re both women. Yeah my world is pretty much over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 95

Double trouble

By Anonymous - 29/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 60

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The Top

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 061

You deserved it 80 724

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 398

You deserved it 598

Random

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 836

You deserved it 5 842

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 626

You deserved it 2 102

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 081

You deserved it 6 099

Today, my boss fired me. I still can't really explain where the slap I gave him for it came from, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 456

You deserved it 37 920

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 1 416

Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 312

You deserved it 214