All the FMLs

Forgetful

By missy - 26/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I stopped at a supermarket after work and put my reusable bags on the counter while I paid. When I got home, I realized I'd left the bags at the checkout. I went back, and they were still there. Nobody had touched them. I felt strangely lucky and embarrassed at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Chunky lunch

By Anonymous - 25/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I took my lunch to work and put it in the office fridge. At noon, I opened the fridge and couldn't find it anywhere. I checked every shelf twice before realizing I'd put it in the freezer section by mistake. My sandwich was completely frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 26

Copy and paste

By Ad - 25/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my ex friend is having her wedding at the same resort and same venue as me, and I had it secured 9 months before her. Now she’s trying to also use my priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 10

Boys will be boys

By johncabbot25 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 094

You deserved it 3 507

Mixed messenging

By Anonymous - 25/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was told off by my dad and stepmom for talking to the delivery person delivering my package. My stepmom's reason was understandable, because I was "slowing her down and she was on the clock", my dad's ridiculous reason was that I could get ripped off. This was AFTER I bought my products, not before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 60

No means no thanks

By Anonymous - 25/09/2026 12:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that my partner of 18 years has officially decided that our physical relationship is over. We hadn’t been intimate since my youngest was conceived 5 years ago. I had always held out hope that it would come again, but now I have been told it’s over and I’m at a loss at what to do. I still love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 46

How could you miss that?

By Kyla - 25/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Brewer

Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 163

Fell for it

By Polmkk - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 869

You deserved it 5 491

Are you OK?

By LisaP - 25/09/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I went to pick up a prescription and the pharmacist asked for my date of birth. I gave it, then realized I had given her my dog's date of birth. I know it because it's written on his vaccination card. I had nothing else prepared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 210

Mystery solved

By Anonymous - 25/09/2026 00:00 - Canada

Today, I took my laundry out of the washing machine and noticed one of my socks was missing. I checked the drum, the floor, and the laundry basket. I eventually found it inside the sleeve of the hoodie I'd been wearing while loading the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 93

Always write a list

By dumbass - 24/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket for three things and repeated them to myself the whole way there. I came home with everything except those three things. I did remember to buy a cake I hadn't planned on getting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 210

Where am I?

By Wasted - 24/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I got on the bus I take every morning and sat in my usual seat. After about ten minutes, I noticed that the route was different and I had no idea where we were. I had been staring at my phone and boarded the wrong number bus without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 375

Offended

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 521

You deserved it 3 557

Feed me

By hangry - 24/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after I packed my lunch last night and put it in the fridge, I grabbed my bag and left for work. At lunchtime, I opened it and found an empty container. I'd packed the container but left the food in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 121

But… my teeth!

By Anonymous - 24/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I left work early because I had a dentist appointment. I got to the clinic, checked in, and sat down. Ten minutes later, the receptionist asked why I was there. My appointment is next Wednesday. I had taken the afternoon off for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 211

You can do it

By FuckedMentalHealth - 24/09/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I'm incredibly supportive and positively motivating my sister-in-law, bringing her out of post-partum depression. Why? Because her husband (my brother-in-law) forced me into depression to the point of multiple life ending attempts when I was in a similar situation. I'm good to all, except myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 54

Messed up

By Suprise - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 334

You deserved it 9 023

Dress for the job you want…

By Jeremy - 24/09/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I bought a new shirt for a job interview and put it on just before leaving. On the train, I noticed the shop's security tag was still attached. I had to spend the entire interview trying to keep my jacket closed, wondering how I'd missed the chunk on plastic stapled to my shirt when I put it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 107

Hey buddy

By Anonymous - 24/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment in a hurry and noticed my neighbor's cat sitting outside my door. I assumed he had escaped, so I spent 15 minutes trying to coax him back upstairs. My neighbor eventually opened her door and said, “He's waiting for me to leave.” Apparently, he does this every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 78

Get a flip phone

By Katheryns - 23/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I sold my old iPhone 14… or at least I tried. I met the customer and she said, “Gee thanks!” and walked away with it. When I asked for the money, she said, “Suck my dick!” and took off running. I'm too out of shape to catch her and phoneless until I can come up with the remaining $200 to pay for my new iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 268

Cars suck

By Fourwheeler - 23/09/2026 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I'm stuck driving a 20 MPG sports car because nobody wants to buy it off of me, instead of riding a faster, 50 MPG motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 361

This doesn't feel nice

By lorrilanee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 411

You deserved it 5 139

What?

By Nicole - 23/09/2026 15:00 - Canada - Fort Nelson

Today, I went through the local coffee shop drive-thru and got a canned energy drink. I didn't notice the extra topping until I was miles down the road. Someone had thoughtfully topped the can with whipped cream and curly hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 84

Uber unfair

By Anonymous - 23/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, a guy who'd never used ride-share before asked for help at the airport. I thought we hadn't figured it out yet, so I canceled mine, which doubled my fare when I ordered it a minute later because we'd actually had figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 215

Temper tantrum

By ViciousCycle - 23/09/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband has a terrible temper and starts screaming for everything. Consequently, I've learnt to deflect and shift blame to save myself. He says he flies off the handle because I shift blame, while I do it to avoid being verbally abused. Made for each other much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 124

Nice try, kiddo

By AvengedSevenX - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 171

You deserved it 25 914

Nobody Loves You (When You're Down and Out)

By Anonymous - 23/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I’m a good man, ready to settle down and build with a good woman, but no one wants to take a chance and build something with me because I'm temporarily living in a homeless shelter. That doesn’t make me unworthy or undeserving of love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 250

The war on Christmas

By Juan - 23/09/2026 00:00 - Mexico

Today, my older sister forced me to tell my nephews, 8 and 6, that Santa Claus does not exist, because she was recently fired from her job and is too much of a coward to tell them she will no longer give them any Christmas gifts for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 91

Body issues

By Dating sucks - 22/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, a guy I know asked me out after me losing 75lbs. I declined because I don’t want to be with someone who only wants me for my body. I asked him, “Where was this energy two years ago when I was 75lbs heavier?” He replied, “Can you blame me?” And people wonder why us women choose the bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 500

Tasty treat

By Yudith - 22/09/2026 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I caught one of my cats drinking my coffee again. Seems like I'll have to buy one of those mugs with a ceramic lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 202

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Job interview Work Intimacy NSFW Awkward Sex Miscellaneous Relatable Health Weird Grandparents Kids Food Shopping Parents Delivery Weddings Friends Love Clothes Mysterious Laundry Transportation Embarrassing Annoying Dentist Dogs Mental health Animals Cats

The Top

Today, my boyfriend punched a hole in a door. This is on top of the broken handle, cracked sink top, dented fridge, and other holes in the wall he has also made. We are 4 months into our year lease. I don't think we are getting our $720 deposit back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 733

You deserved it 18 906

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 369

You deserved it 9 111

Random

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 825

You deserved it 820

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 893

You deserved it 17 053

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 822

You deserved it 6 368

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 032

You deserved it 27 022

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 409

You deserved it 2 822

Today, like millions of others before me, I decided to start a YouTube channel. I was thorough, bought all the camera gear, decided on my content, came up with a gimmick, the works. The very first comment I got on my very first video was a request for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 158