FML : Your everyday life stories

Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Today I learnt not to trust a fart on your way to work because it will result in you having to go home and change clothes and getting yelled at by your boss

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By Anonymous / Tuesday 22 January 2019 03:30 / Australia - Balaklava

Today, I have come to realise that my parents actually favour my brother's fling over me, their own flesh and blood. FML

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By AEW - / Monday 21 January 2019 16:00 /

Today, no actually on Christmas day, I found out that my boyfriend slept with someone else while we are trying to fix our long distance relationship. He said it's because I was far and he was lonely. FML.

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By Mehhh - / Monday 21 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, I decided to pot some Christmas cactus cuttings I made for my friends and moved a bag of potting soil to the bathroom. The moment I opened it and stuffed my hand in I was covered in fruit flies. I ended up sneezing out 3 flies later after I threw out the mess. FML

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By face full of flies / Monday 21 January 2019 12:00 /

Today, is the day after I got my knife as a gift on Christmas. Today, is also the day after I cut my hand close to the bone with said knife while cleaning it off. Only 6 stitches and I basically can't use my left hand. Not to bad of a Christmas if you ask me. FML.

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By HHHE4 - / Monday 21 January 2019 04:00 /

Today, I got back from my Christmas honeymoon only to find my cat died while we were gone.. fml..

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By Emi N. Jax / Monday 21 January 2019 02:00 /

So me and my crush were sitting in the backseat of his car and he wanted to lay his head on my lap. As soon as it happened my stomach gave the loudest rumble that literally vibrated against his face and I farted a little.

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By slimshady / Monday 21 January 2019 00:00 /

Today my hippy parents refused to buy me deodorant because it has “toxins”, I am 14 and smell horrible and kids were making fun of me Too about it Today. I do not have any friends. FML.

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By Athena - / Sunday 20 January 2019 11:00 / United States - Portland

Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML

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By Marcus - / Sunday 20 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML

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By Anna - / Sunday 20 January 2019 16:00 /

My best friend and I, who I’ve loved for years now finally hooked up. I think she gave me the clap. FML

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By stranger / Sunday 20 January 2019 14:00 /

Today I feel like I’m in two and a half men. I just watched my brother console a crying girl through using a pregnancy test over the phone, fist punch the air after it was negative, hang up the phone without saying goodbye then went back to bed where his current girlfriend was still asleep FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 20 January 2019 12:00 /

Today I got home from work and kissed my wife on the cheek like I have done almost everyday for the last 14 years, only this time she screamed and hit me in the face with a pan of hot water and carrots. Apparently this time I scared her and she thought I was a burglar rapist. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 20 January 2019 04:00 /

Today, I yelled "fuck me, oh shit!" on instinct upon accidentally spilling boiling hot coffe all over myself. My 3 year old niece found this hilarious and won't stop saying "fuck my shit". Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

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By ... - / Sunday 20 January 2019 02:00 /

When a coworker tries to help

Hold my beer!

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By Lewis - / Sunday 20 January 2019 00:30 /

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By ... - / Sunday 20 January 2019 00:00 /

Today I was working Christmas Day by myself, I was supposed to have 2 coworkers with me but they were in storage having sex multiple times for nearly 3 hours, yes 3, and I know this because I got so mad I was checking security cameras to try find them, and there they were on camera. 3 HOURS FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 19 January 2019 20:00 /

How I feel at the kid's table

But mooooom! I'm a grown man!

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By Lewis - / Saturday 19 January 2019 19:00 / France - Paris

Today I was being kinky for my boyfriend by going commando at his Xmas party. Trust me to get my period 10 days early in a WHITE skirt, then as I rushed to the toilet I fell and the seam split right up my ass, so his family including 3 nephews got an uncensored look at the whole mess FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 19 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

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By TCRII - / Saturday 19 January 2019 16:00 /

Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML

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By CJ 84 - / Saturday 19 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even fit close to the description of the suspect. FML

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By "Boyufd" / Saturday 19 January 2019 12:00 /

Today I discovered my wife has had another afair. It gets thrown in my face and somehow its all my fault. My friends all tell me to get the hell out and I dont because I still love her. This is completely fucked. FML

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By OnePersonMarriage - / Saturday 19 January 2019 04:00 /

Today my parents got my husband and I a new electric fireplace for Christmas. My husband set it up.. I sent a picture and a video of the new fireplace all set up to both my parents. There was a dildo in all the picture and videos I sent.......

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By asky666 / Saturday 19 January 2019 02:00 /

When my boss enters the room

I work better under pressure

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By Lewis - / Saturday 19 January 2019 00:30 / France - Paris

Today, all I wanted for Christmas was sex with my wife. I even would have enjoyed just getting a kiss and squeezing her bum. Nope, I got a sweater, FML.

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By Anonymous / Friday 18 January 2019 20:00 /

Mother Nature fights back

Nature is no joke

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By Lewis - / Friday 18 January 2019 19:00 / France - Paris

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me on Christmas. FML

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By Lonely Soul BP - / Friday 18 January 2019 10:00 / United States - Philadelphia

Today is Christmas, I spent over 600 dollars on presents for the wife...didn’t get a single present from her...FML

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By Ryan - / Friday 18 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, on Christmas, I received the gift of lice. I have already pulled 7 out of my hair and counting. FML

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By "Levi2411" / Friday 18 January 2019 12:00 /

FML

Nearly

Today, it's Christmas. I don't know if I'm single or in a relationship. My partner doesn't want to split but he's also not making an effort to save the...

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Today, I spent Christmas alone with my one year old son who cried all day and refused to take a nap at all.. FML

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World

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Canada

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Australia

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

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Photos

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Spicy

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year...

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML

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