By wookieewhosshe - 22/7/2019 06:43 Today, I was informed that my flatmate had not handed his documents in to the new landlord like he'd told me. We are due to move to a new area tomorrow for the new job that I start in 4 days. Now we can't move for another week. Anyone have a spare couch? FML I agree, your life sucks 64 You deserved it 3 4 0 0 0 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unlovable - 22/7/2019 04:00 Ah, puppy love… Today, I was texting my crush. He wasn’t really into the texts because he was barely replying, until he texted back calling me "baby." I got so excited, I almost cried, until he corrected himself and said that the text wasn’t for me. I cried. FML I agree, your life sucks 250 You deserved it 74 16 0 3 8 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xXPikachuXx - 22/7/2019 02:01 Today, after 3 months of job hunting, I finally got a job. But now my birth certificate and social security card are somehow lost, and I can't start until I let them see a copy. FML I agree, your life sucks 352 You deserved it 71 13 0 11 2 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/7/2019 00:01 Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML I agree, your life sucks 500 You deserved it 53 3 2 4 32 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Former Professor - 21/7/2019 22:00 Today, I happily went to an interview after job searching for months. I learned a large part of my job would be cleaning the toilets. Every. Single. Hour. I used to lecture at a university until budget cuts happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 721 You deserved it 60 34 1 17 7 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/7/2019 20:00 Today, my best friend told me he loved me, so I reminded him that I'm a lesbian. "That's just a phase, just wait till you suck my dick," was his reply. He was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 988 You deserved it 96 23 5 48 61 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mystic Alan - 21/7/2019 18:00 FML's Weekly Horoscope - 21st of July 2019 Find out what bullshit the asshole stars and planets have in store for you this week! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/7/2019 16:15 Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML I agree, your life sucks 910 You deserved it 35 8 2 40 30 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stickyickystone - 21/7/2019 14:12 Today, I got my hand caught in a belt sander while sanding down what was supposed to become a "Caution" sign. FML I agree, your life sucks 800 You deserved it 190 6 3 49 28 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LostSoul - 21/7/2019 12:10 Today, I arrived at the doctor's to schedule surgery to find out my insurance got canceled again. I only just got it reinstated after the last time they screwed up and canceled it. It took me 6 months to get it fixed. FML I agree, your life sucks 976 You deserved it 46 10 1 60 4 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ChloeisaDoll - 21/7/2019 06:01 Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML I agree, your life sucks 1077 You deserved it 49 7 3 74 9 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ladyfarquard - 21/7/2019 04:03 Today, I got charged with drink driving, without even driving my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 904 You deserved it 308 15 2 15 55 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By darknight - 21/7/2019 02:03 Today, I found out that pretending to be a bum begging for money can get you stuck in a jail cell for a few hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 315 You deserved it 2156 13 1 12 83 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nutty - 21/7/2019 00:04 Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear Hanes, I'm unfit to have sex with her because I wear Fruit of the Loom and am therefore not a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 1429 You deserved it 209 19 3 15 125 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/7/2019 22:06 Today, I had someone place two separate to-go orders, so that he could use two of his "25% off" coupons. He couldn't understand why it wasn't 50% off his total bill, no matter how many times I plainly explained it to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1199 You deserved it 64 13 1 2 84 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lxygrl - 20/7/2019 13:07 - United States - Phenix City Today, I was told I have kidney stones, kidney infections, and a bladder infection and that I have to get admitted into the hospital. I let my boss know, and she replied, "But you're still coming in for your shift tonight, right?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1408 You deserved it 66 25 5 90 21 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TooFast - 21/7/2019 02:00 - Australia - Mount Druitt Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML I agree, your life sucks 1181 You deserved it 94 42 1 23 16 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/7/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML I agree, your life sucks 986 You deserved it 89 6 2 6 60 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/7/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML I agree, your life sucks 1284 You deserved it 89 11 6 61 38 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DrunkenMum - 20/7/2019 12:00 Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML I agree, your life sucks 1054 You deserved it 60 11 1 42 21 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bruh - 20/7/2019 06:20 Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML I agree, your life sucks 1537 You deserved it 107 40 3 65 32 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oopsie - 20/7/2019 04:00 Today, nine hours into a ten-hour shift, I accidentally told a customer, "You're a problem!" instead of, "You're welcome!" or, "No problem!" She gave me a dirty look and hurried off before I could correct myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 1003 You deserved it 155 6 5 10 113 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By amy - 20/7/2019 02:09 Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1103 You deserved it 82 13 1 10 72 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ladygrey - 20/7/2019 00:08 Today, my daughter informed me that she hates everything about her appearance and wants to get every possible plastic surgery when she’s older. She’s 7. FML I agree, your life sucks 1303 You deserved it 148 114 1 53 21 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By InnocenceBlue - 20/7/2019 04:00 - Australia - Perth Today, after I've been nauseous for a week straight, barely eating or sleeping, I was going to see my doctor. She then called in sick and I can't get an appointment for another week. FML I agree, your life sucks 1196 You deserved it 85 18 1 59 10 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Youalreadyknowmyname - 19/7/2019 14:00 - United States - Jeffersonville Today, a guy asked me my name and I told him it's Holly. He then asked if I was "real or a Holligram?" Apparently, The Office is the best, and only place to get pick up lines. FML I agree, your life sucks 1081 You deserved it 173 9 2 0 103 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alan - 19/7/2019 18:00 FML's 15 Favorite Funny Fuck-Ups of the Week! Whether it's people not understanding how the world works or just people fucking their shit up, check out idiots being hilarious idiots. 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DrunkPeopleSuck - 19/7/2019 16:00 Today, a customer at the bar I work at yelled at me for calling her "Ma'am." I asked what she'd prefer, and she gave me her name. When I called her by her name, she yelled at me for not calling her "Ma'am." FML I agree, your life sucks 1403 You deserved it 68 29 1 13 71 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LostSoul - 19/7/2019 14:02 Today, I was at a store. I asked if I needed a key for their bathroom, and they said the door was open. I have to walk past them to go in and out of the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, they used the key and walked in on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1286 You deserved it 68 8 2 65 32 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By caligirl4ever - 19/7/2019 12:00 Today, my boyfriend and I got robbed. He was so depressed about all the stuff we lost, I decided to cheer him up with a lap dance. I told him to sit on a chair. We have no furniture left. He started crying. FML I agree, your life sucks 1444 You deserved it 363 67 0 39 86 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, after several months of grieving for my recently deceased father, none of my jeans fit. So I got out my emergency 3 sizes too big jeans. They don’t... I agree, your life sucks 33 You deserved it 5 0 Comments
Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, thats too common. He had to scratch my private area. It hurts. FML I agree, your life sucks 82 You deserved it 10 0 Comments
Today, my best friend told me he loved me, so I reminded him that I'm a lesbian. "That's just a phase, just wait till you suck my dick," was his reply.... I agree, your life sucks 988 You deserved it 96 17 Comments
Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear... I agree, your life sucks 1429 You deserved it 209 31 Comments
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