By samba_spaz - 19/9/2019 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles Groove is in the Heart Today, I was at my usual drum circle. This guy I'd never seen before showed up and started playing an unfamiliar beat. Thinking he was new, I tried to teach him what to play. Turns out he was a professional drummer and was playing an advanced version of the groove I was trying to teach him. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 You deserved it 60 1 0 1 3 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By German;) - 19/9/2019 04:00 Street art Today, I came outside to see someone had written on my car, "I love your hairy butt, pubes, and fat girlfriend!" multiple times. I wouldn't have been bothered if all those things weren't true. FML I agree, your life sucks 172 You deserved it 23 1 0 1 4 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2019 02:03 - United Kingdom - London Just a prank, bro! Today, I've been told that the test I have tomorrow, which I've been studying for, is not on 'Parent and Child Relationships' but on 'Scotland's Fishing Communities'. My brother thought it would be funny to hide the real booklet, and make up his own one for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 297 You deserved it 51 3 1 13 4 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2019 00:02 Sit and stew Today, my dog and I got sprayed by a skunk. I have no tomato juice or baking soda, and the bus doesn't come for another 3 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 371 You deserved it 37 2 0 11 6 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By huh? - 18/9/2019 13:00 - United States - Monterey Park Creepy Dick Pic Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me a photo of him getting head from a gorgeous woman. He captioned it “Jealous?” with smiley emojis. I’m not sure what’s creepier, the fact that he sent it, that he even has my new number or that we broke up more than 8 years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 31 5 2 48 12 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 20:00 Head, meet wall Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML I agree, your life sucks 487 You deserved it 113 6 1 1 24 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yudencow - 18/9/2019 18:00 Reading skills Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 67 2 1 0 37 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 16:00 Venus in Furs Today, my boyfriend asked my dad why he gave me the nickname "Bear," which he has called me since I was very little. My dad responded, "Because she has a hairy back." FML I agree, your life sucks 730 You deserved it 58 2 4 13 66 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 14:00 Cats gonna cat Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 711 You deserved it 187 7 2 19 33 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wowseriously - 18/9/2019 12:00 - United States Dumpster Fire Boyfriend Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML I agree, your life sucks 762 You deserved it 94 8 2 27 46 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Victoria - 18/9/2019 06:00 - Australia - Perth My name is? Today, while interviewing for a job, I was greeted by the interviewer with a handshake and a greeting of, "Hello Victoria, my name is Bill." I responded with, "Hello. My name is Bill." I think it's safe to assume I didn't get the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 803 You deserved it 242 5 1 6 80 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 04:02 - United Kingdom - Southampton WTF VHS? Today, a teacher asked me to edit a video of her class. Unfamiliar with cameras that work with video tape, I accidentally recorded over her video. The footage is impossible for me to get back. FML I agree, your life sucks 719 You deserved it 614 11 1 49 14 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Terrible Boss - 18/9/2019 02:04 - United States Stability Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML I agree, your life sucks 234 You deserved it 3817 20 2 10 152 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 00:01 - United States Criminal Minds Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML I agree, your life sucks 1671 You deserved it 62 15 2 167 9 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - 17/9/2019 22:00 Roll with it Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML I agree, your life sucks 1003 You deserved it 196 20 8 8 72 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington Market crash Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML I agree, your life sucks 1207 You deserved it 91 9 1 45 90 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 18:00 - United States - Baton Rouge No BigMac for you Today, after months of searching for any kind of work, I finally received a call. It was McDonald's, but they said I was overqualified for the position. I thought they took anyone with a heart rate. Apparently not. FML I agree, your life sucks 1143 You deserved it 69 30 1 2 40 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BDSarah - 17/9/2019 16:00 Special Today, my mom introduced me to everyone we met as her "special needs child." They all seemed to believe her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1114 You deserved it 81 24 3 18 59 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 14:00 Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 1349 You deserved it 48 15 2 72 21 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katie - 17/9/2019 12:01 - United States The Bathtub Incident Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 1356 You deserved it 81 19 2 109 9 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emily - 17/9/2019 08:00 Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML I agree, your life sucks 979 You deserved it 118 14 1 9 62 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lauren Davies - 17/9/2019 06:00 Paper-thin walls Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML I agree, your life sucks 1125 You deserved it 209 4 2 5 153 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 04:00 Parked, indefinitely Today, my mom told me I wouldn't be able to take driver's education until at least my sixteenth birthday, because I'm, "Not ready to drive a car." Isn't that the whole point of driver's ed? FML I agree, your life sucks 1022 You deserved it 273 41 5 7 29 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike - 17/9/2019 02:02 - United States - Los Angeles The Nerve! Today, my ex-boyfriend, who refers to himself in the third person on a regular basis, told me that I often act entitled. FML I agree, your life sucks 1024 You deserved it 150 8 2 5 71 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bigbuldge - 17/9/2019 00:01 Roommate From Hell Today, my roommate whipped my face with a frozen chicken cutlet. My cheek is now the size of the chicken cutlet, and now he won't drive me to the hospital because it's "too funny to look at." FML I agree, your life sucks 1257 You deserved it 105 15 0 88 20 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I Heart My Cats and Dogs - 16/9/2019 22:01 Pet Store Madness Today, I was filling out an application for a job at a local pet store. At the end of it, they wanted a paragraph about any pets I had. After a while, I found myself finishing a 3-page essay about them. That's the longest essay I've ever written. FML I agree, your life sucks 961 You deserved it 351 10 10 3 84 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ACAB - 16/9/2019 20:00 - Australia Officer McGiggles Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML I agree, your life sucks 1144 You deserved it 156 9 3 7 116 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/9/2019 18:00 - United States Dumpy baby Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 1124 You deserved it 107 9 4 11 90 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/9/2019 10:00 - United States Sounds healthy Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML I agree, your life sucks 1339 You deserved it 104 17 5 91 19 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/9/2019 14:00 Out and about Today, my grandfather found my diary laying in the living room, and for some reason thought it was an interesting reading material. Oh well, he found out that I'm a lesbian, then panicked and basically outed me to my entire family. I really hope they have reservations in Hell. FML I agree, your life sucks 1290 You deserved it 525 43 2 79 23 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today my girlfriend said that she’s pregnant but not to worry she’s getting rid of it since she’s sure it’s not mine. I’m not sure which part of her sentence... I agree, your life sucks 63 You deserved it 5 0 Comments
Today i was going to school when i walked out to see i had a flat so i put the spare on and thought all was good only to have the spare literally blow... I agree, your life sucks 19 You deserved it 2 1 Comments
Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me a photo of him getting head from a gorgeous woman. He captioned it “Jealous?” with smiley emojis. I’m not sure what’s creepier,... I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 31 6 Comments
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 1349 You deserved it 48 8 Comments
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