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Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6377) - you deserved it (23248)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

↑ rocketgurl's comment : OP: 0 Jogger: 1

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Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

#21366496
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14595) - you deserved it (2523)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:06pm - health - by Masift - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15029) - you deserved it (3239)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

↑ toongler's comment : well if you really loved your boyfriend you wouldnt even consider dumping him an option. sorry, but it sounds like whether you hate his sister or not, the relationship won't work.

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Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (1926)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

↑ WCARlover's comment : Exes are exes for a reason

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Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19042) - you deserved it (2641)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20526) - you deserved it (1736)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (1363)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (1827)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (4924)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (1928)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (2065)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (1986)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (1838)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)



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