By "netflix12345" - 23/1/2020 20:00 Elegant dress Today, I was hanging out with my 5 year boyfriend. He took me out on a boat and made me wear my most elegant outfit ever. Before getting on the boat, a girl pushed me. I fell and almost drowned in the lake. My dress was ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 487 You deserved it 33 6 0 45 8 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/1/2020 18:00 Just love! Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 354 You deserved it 99 1 3 1 68 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "penne_pasta580802" - 23/1/2020 14:00 Ultimately Today, I decided to take my car to work as I had some errands to do after. I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 603 You deserved it 177 7 4 3 72 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By buttdick - 23/1/2020 05:00 He first checked Today, I was trying to straddle my boyfriend how you would to do 69 and he plucked a hair off my ass cheek and said "got it. It was a black one." We did not continue. FML I agree, your life sucks 840 You deserved it 132 7 3 9 105 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/1/2020 01:00 Favorite child Today, I heard that my mom is coming back from France, where my brother lives. I have lived in the same place, exactly 45 minutes from my mother, for 6 years. She hasn't visited me once, but has been out of state to see my sibling. FML I agree, your life sucks 1069 You deserved it 99 82 6 5 10 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whiteboyfresh69 - 22/1/2020 20:00 - United States She likes it! Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML I agree, your life sucks 319 You deserved it 1873 30 5 98 49 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/1/2020 18:00 Strange noise Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 1457 You deserved it 88 4 4 148 32 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck - 22/1/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie Late reaction Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with the guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 1261 You deserved it 379 7 4 86 59 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Happyfuntime1017 - 22/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Fort Smith He does not care Today, my husband came home with a snake. I'm terrified of snakes. He made me hold it and it bit me. I am in the hospital, and he is still keeping the snake. FML I agree, your life sucks 2231 You deserved it 197 19 5 104 16 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/1/2020 01:00 Don't worry! Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 1180 You deserved it 314 4 2 34 118 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/1/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom Parenting fail Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee, when I went back my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, god knows where since I don't own a permanent marker. She then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs, and as an added bonus the tv screen, parenting fail. FML I agree, your life sucks 1313 You deserved it 328 18 6 40 78 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/1/2020 18:00 Take a walk Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1933 You deserved it 191 74 8 139 98 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "onwardsandupwards" - 21/1/2020 14:00 Need help Today, I went to the cemetery to visit a friend. As I was looking for his burial plot, I fell into a dug out grave and had to call my partner to come help me get out of the grave. FML I agree, your life sucks 1363 You deserved it 316 9 4 58 121 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ALO - 21/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Bossier City Married life Today, I found out my husband of 7 years has been cheating on me with "10-15" people. FML I agree, your life sucks 2012 You deserved it 119 59 4 161 14 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alyosaurus - 21/1/2020 01:00 Wrong address Today, I was woken up at 3am by my apartment building's fire alarm. I loaded up my cats in their crates, brought them outside and realized it was below freezing (-5C or 23F) and snowing. I stood on the sidewalk in my thin Pyjamas and just watched the firefighters went into the wrong building... FML I agree, your life sucks 1489 You deserved it 123 17 4 64 24 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mycariswrecked - 20/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Tinley Park Early meeting Today, I was going to meet up with my boyfriend's mother to watch his swim meet with her. On my way to the high school, I got in a car accident. The person driving the other car was his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 1671 You deserved it 126 12 3 45 98 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/1/2020 20:00 I am in a hurry Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1846 You deserved it 90 17 3 164 25 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alerra - 20/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Baton Rouge Not mine Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 1463 You deserved it 135 15 4 15 103 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tytonic - 20/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown First dinner Today, After my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me since there is so much blood. FML I agree, your life sucks 1360 You deserved it 286 46 6 64 19 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smelly situation - 20/1/2020 01:00 Something in the air Today, I was fired due to complaints that my shuttle stunk of gas. It smells because I've been farting so bad on the shuttle. I did try to air it out but I guess it wouldn't leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 1142 You deserved it 934 24 2 12 112 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2020 20:00 Good bye! Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML I agree, your life sucks 1314 You deserved it 571 20 4 10 132 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/1/2020 18:00 Romantic gesture Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 3581 You deserved it 131 87 7 338 20 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By swollenbutthole - 19/1/2020 14:00 - United States Who dares wins Today, and since forever, I've always been deemed "boring" for never trying anything risky. So, I got frisky one night and decided to try anal. I got hemorrhoids. FML I agree, your life sucks 2047 You deserved it 396 23 3 41 113 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By need not know - 19/1/2020 05:00 Still married Today, while fixing my dad's phone, I saw Tinder installed. He's still married to my mum. FML I agree, your life sucks 2068 You deserved it 145 32 6 116 22 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Isidora - 19/1/2020 01:00 - Canada - Toronto It is warm Today, my boyfriend felt my butthole and asked if I was farting because it was warm. FML I agree, your life sucks 1827 You deserved it 256 12 9 19 162 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Penny - 18/1/2020 20:00 Animated movies Today at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went zoo zoo... filia..? Silence. Wasn't until I got home an hour later I realized what I said. FML I agree, your life sucks 1344 You deserved it 364 7 6 21 139 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/1/2020 18:00 Strange flight Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 2002 You deserved it 151 25 2 64 119 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihmmil - 18/1/2020 14:00 Belly Finger Today, my husband was trying to be sexy. He asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger"! Major mood kill. FML I agree, your life sucks 1769 You deserved it 193 26 8 13 169 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/1/2020 05:00 Very frustrating Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him full force dead center in the chest right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML I agree, your life sucks 1916 You deserved it 186 16 4 28 169 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2020 20:00 After shower Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the locks broke) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML I agree, your life sucks 1938 You deserved it 156 24 6 63 86 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I was driving home with all my window&roof open a A driver that was mad decided throw her cigarette into my car.my 3 kids in the car and I thought... I agree, your life sucks 11 You deserved it 4 1 Comments
Today I was sitting on my couch when I heard a knock at my door I opened it and my dog jumped out my door knocking down my buddy and ran outside. I was... I agree, your life sucks 10 You deserved it 2 0 Comments
Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 354 You deserved it 99 2 Comments
Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away... I agree, your life sucks 1933 You deserved it 191 11 Comments
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