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FML - The follow-up

Today, I was having a chat with a fellow veteran I bumped into at a car show. He ended the conversation by turning to my dad and saying, "you're lucky to catch a young honey like this." Then went on to ask if we'd tried anal yet. FML

C8H18 Say more :
OP here. My dad walked off acting like he hadn't heard anything as I yelled, "That's my FATHER!"
By Fatherdaughter - / Friday 28 July 2017 11:21 /
FML - The follow-up

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a hot British guy. He spent 90% of the date talking about his ex, but I invited him back to my place anyway. He came after 20 minutes of foreplay then left without even offering to get me off. FML

milksquad Say more :
OP here! This is my second FML to get published this week, either I'm on a roll or my life is just really shitty lol. I was pretty bitter when I posted this but in hindsight, yeah, it was a pretty stupid decision. Looks (and a cute accent) aren't everything I suppose! I guess I was more surprised that he left so abruptly. Like, he came and then put on his clothes and walked out with barely a goodbye....
By milksquad - / Friday 28 July 2017 10:37 /
FML - The follow-up

Today, I learned that there's a colony of bats living inside my walls. The devices to prevent them from reentering are angering those remaining inside, and now I can hear them scuttling and screeching in almost every wall and ceiling in my house. FML

Otterbot Say more :
OP here, didn't have an account so I made one to comment! The devices that were installed are like one-way doors, so the bats can leave but not get back in. This meant the ones still in the walls got distressed when the ones outside didn't return. They're classed as "wildlife" meaning they can't be exterminated, so this is one of the easiest, non-lethal solutions to getting them out. It's been about...
By BatIntoHell - / Friday 28 July 2017 03:21 / United States - Minneapolis

Off to a good start!

Today, I received an email from a potential employer with an awesome job opportunity. I was so excited, I immediately went to forward the email to my husband. My email included a lot of "I love you" and "we are going to celebrate tonight ;)". In my excitement, I hit reply instead of forward. FML

By lovergirl - / Thursday 27 July 2017 12:00 / United States - Orem
World
Bangladesh

Not going, going back, back to Cali, Cali

Today, I found out I will not be moving back to California. My mom told me we were going to go on a 2 month vacation to see family in India. She decided we are staying for good. FML

By WhatisLife - / Thursday 27 July 2017 09:00 / Bangladesh - Dhaka
World
Republic of Korea

Time to invest in a gas mask!

Today, after living in Korea for 6 months due to my husband's military career, doctors finally found out why I've been sick since I've been here. I'm allergic to the air. The air quality is so bad here that it is making me sick. Only 2 more years to go before we get moved again. FML

By crystalxuk - / Wednesday 26 July 2017 20:00 / Republic of Korea

Trolled by technology

Today, as soon as I put my card into an ATM, the words "Out of Order" popped up and it would not return my card. Since I was at the bank, I got a free replacement. Trying to draw money again the second machine did the same thing and a third card costs more than what I have in my account. FML

By Rightswiper - / Wednesday 26 July 2017 05:00 / South Africa
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