FML : Your everyday life stories

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Today, my friend lied about me in school and successfully ruined my reputation at the point where no one would sit with me. FML.

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By Bwitch - / Thursday 17 January 2019 20:00 /

Today. . . At 27 years old I learned that the Pacific Ocean is in fact salt water. I was taught that the Atlantic was salt and the Pacific fresh. This happened at my BFs family Christmas dinner. FML

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By Artemis - / Thursday 17 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, it's Christmas morning and we walk out to our brand new car that we have owned for two days and someone decided to egg our car...FML

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By / Thursday 17 January 2019 16:00 /

Today, I finally got my car back from the shop. Even though it said it had an "engine system malfunction", the mechanic says everything is fine. It took more than a week to tell me nothing is wrong with my car. FML

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By "Kaluhaluha" - / Thursday 17 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, me and my boyfriend had our first Christmas together. After insisting on him to open his gifts first and watching his face light up, I then unwrapped a box of One-A-Day Multivitamins. He gave me multivitamins for Christmas. FML.

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By "Elisabeth Marie Norman" - / Thursday 17 January 2019 12:00 /

Today, I have had 4 nosebleeds. 4 of them, full-on, almost passing out nosebleeds. It's only noon. I think I need to see a doctor. FML

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By "MarchingNightmare" / Wednesday 16 January 2019 22:00 / United States - Hendersonville

Today I'm sitting at home alone because I'm not welcome at my dad's house for Christmas dinner. My identical twin sister, who lives with me, is more than welcome. FML.

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By LonelyOnChristmas - / Thursday 17 January 2019 02:00 /

Today, I realized that my mom talks to me with the exact same tone of voice she uses for my little cousin. I’m 23 and my cousin is 2. FML

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By mettaton - / Thursday 17 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, I got trapped in the airport lift for half an hour with my family while heading to departure. We ended up missing our flight. 3000 Malaysian bucks were spent on that flight. No one wants to compensate our loss. FML

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By - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 20:00 /

Today, due to poor planning and a number of undesireable coincidences, Ive been stuck in an airport alone 1,500 miles from home on Christmas day. FML

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By "gmanbuilder" - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 12:00 / United States

Today, my sister gave our father marijuana for Christmas. FML.

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By "733yoda" / Wednesday 16 January 2019 08:00 / United States - Lynbrook

Today, for the first time ever, I was able to have a good hair day without blow drying it or using product. Or so I thought. The first words my mom spoke to me when I came downstairs were “Go fix your hair.” FML

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By queenmabby / Wednesday 16 January 2019 12:00 /

Today, my kids excitedly woke me up at 2 AM saying they saw Santa Claus. I’m the only adult in the house, and I got up to find a man dressed as Santa Claus trying to steal our TV. FML

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By miro - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 04:00 /

Today, I was in a hurry to get to my exams. I’m a new driver so my parking was a little crooked but I didn’t have time to fix it. I was expecting to come back to a note on my car. I wasn’t expecting three of my tires to be slashed and the words “I Suck At Parking” to be keyed into my car. FML

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By isuckatparking. seriously. - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 02:00 /

Today, my step-mother, went into my bedroom, then immediately embarrased me and called me white trash for having a "dirty home". I travel a lot for work and, while I was away, my ex trashed the house. I tried my best to clean, but had to hide recycle-ables and laundry in my bedroom. FML

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By TheFamilysGrinch - / Wednesday 16 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, I've been waiting for an appointment to discuss therapy and medication for my depression and anxiety for months. It's Christmas and I can't get out of bed to join my family.

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By "Owl03031990" / Tuesday 15 January 2019 20:00 /

Today, I'm crippled from a bad case of stomach flu. I haven't shit properly in almost a week, and it's come down to choosing whether i want to eat or be able to leave the toilet for more than ten minutes. I have to visit in-laws Today. FML.

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By alliwantforchristmasisacure - / Tuesday 15 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, it’s Christmas Eve. But my parents got into a fight. My brother tried to intervene, but got caught in the argument. Now, my brother’s returning to college and my parents are divorced. Merry Christmas. FML

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By Tim - / Tuesday 15 January 2019 07:00 / United States - Pomona

Today, I got a surround sound system from my best friend. I didn't even have it hooked up when the sub woofer fell to the floor and smashed. I don't know if it can be fixed. FML

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By 123_omg - / Tuesday 15 January 2019 14:00 /

Today is Christmas Day. I’ve spent the day alone, watching over my sleeping daughter who is unable to participate because her abuser manipulated her to the point that she is unable to eat in public or be in noisy crowds.

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By Anonymous / Tuesday 15 January 2019 12:00 /

So my church does a toy drive for low income families, and I bought a toy to be sent to a local child who lives in one. I bought a Bumblebee action figure from Target. Today, a package came in the mail plus a card... From my church... Inside was the toy. They just called me poor on Christmas. FML.

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By Allen - / Monday 14 January 2019 22:00 / United States - Marietta

Today, I realized how much I hate my life and resent my husband. He lies to me about everything, would rather masturbate to cartoon porn than have sex with me and hardly ever showers or brushes his teeth. What did I ever see in this man. FML.

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By Mylifesuckshard - / Tuesday 15 January 2019 02:00 /

Today I was waiting for my boyfriend in nothing but a red thong and a Santa hat for when he gets home, only when he got home he had up and decided to invite his parents and both his brothers for Xmas eve. I’ll never live this down FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 15 January 2019 00:00 /

Today, I discovered some mold in my bedroom. Being a responsible tenant, I reported it to my landlord. He freaked out and yelled at me as if I were a small child and threatens to kick me out. I've lived there for 5 years. He's always said what a “wonderful“ tenant I am. Btw, it's Christmas Eve. Fml

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By Faey - / Monday 14 January 2019 20:00 /

Today i was looking at pictures of me as a baby and i stumbled upon abortion paperwork, i was about to be an abortion. FML....

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By - / Monday 14 January 2019 18:00 /

Today, I discovered that it is possible to have both a UTI and a yeast infection after a hysterectomy. FML

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By - / Monday 14 January 2019 16:00 /

Today I broke my mirror off going to the drive through at McDonald's. Even the cashier watching was like ..."fuck dude"... FML

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By Satan's Lil elf - / Monday 14 January 2019 14:00 /

Today, after realizing my Christmas tree stand had been misplaced, I thought a large vase full of dirt would be a perfectly acceptable substitute. My living room carpet is now covered in dirt and broken glass, and I still don't know where the stand is. FML.

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By but why - / Monday 14 January 2019 06:00 / Canada - Whitby

Today, I finally confronted the neighbors upstairs about their incessant loud noises. At first, they wouldn’t open the door. Why? Well when they did, I was hit with the overwhelmingly aroma of dank kush. I asked them to keep it down so my very sick baby could nap. The noises never stopped. FML.

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By CantWaitToMOVE - / Monday 14 January 2019 04:00 /

Today, I worked hard baking two cakes to take into work to spread some Christmas cheer. When I brought them in, some customer's brat kid demanded a slice. We couldn't give her any because of health codes, so her mom went apeshit and poured soda all over them. FML

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By - / Monday 14 January 2019 02:00 /

FML

Nearly

Today, my mother came to Christmas high and gave me coupons and beauty samples for Christmas. I don’t even wear makeup. FML

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Today I found out why my inlaws hate me so much. Apparently my husband told his brother, who then told the entire family, he caught me cheating a while...

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Canada

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Australia

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

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Spicy

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year...

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML

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