By Jenni - 2/8/2021 11:01 - United States - Chicago Stink bomb Today, I got into my car to remember that I left dead fish and waxworms in my car from fishing at the lake yesterday. We unloaded everything but those two stinky things. It was 90 degrees today too. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 You deserved it 51 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what the actual fuck?! - 2/8/2021 07:01 - United States Exes from hell Today, my psychotic ex-boyfriend hit a brand new low. I was served court papers, saying that he’s suing me by demanding I give him a paternity test for my daughter. He’s also telling everyone he’s her real father. He and I were broken up for more than a year before I even got pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 176 You deserved it 14 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/8/2021 14:01 - Germany - Ebersbach Shifting Today, my mom is trying to be quiet, thinking me asleep. This means she will whisper to the dogs in the upstairs hallway, then quietly go downstairs where she will bang the doors so hard the house shakes. Apparently, she thinks each floor is in its own separate dimension. FML I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 21 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jan - 2/8/2021 13:01 Language barrier Today, my mother who learned English as an adult sent an email to my boss, thanking them for hiring me even though I'm "retarded." I’m a law school graduate who was diagnosed with a minor learning disability in kindergarten, but she still calls me "retarded" when speaking English. FML I agree, your life sucks 268 You deserved it 21 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By joleezad5 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Nixa Same joke, different year Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 23793 You deserved it 2407 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/8/2021 02:01 - United States - Floral Park The root Today, I got a lecture from my mother about how bad my stress has been, how I have to treat myself better and do something with my life. She still doesn't realize that most of the cause of my stress has been from her berating me about how stressed out I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 333 You deserved it 29 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/8/2021 06:01 - Germany - Ebersbach Heatwave Today, it appears I’m allergic. My stomach inflates like a soccer ball and produces terrible gas, and I really don’t feel so good in general. What am I allergic to? Summertime. Every year. FML I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 25 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/8/2021 04:01 Sophie's Choice Today, my love life comes down to a choice in loneliness: I can either be alone, because I never meet anyone these days, let alone an interesting guy. Or, I can go back to my ex, who I left because he made me feel alone while sitting right next to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 344 You deserved it 69 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gayafnow - 2/8/2021 02:01 Cruel Today, my sister outed me to my very conservative parents as retaliation for not taking her to get McDonald’s at 2 a.m. last night. My mom gave me an ultimatum, either "stop the lesbian shit" or get the fuck out of her house. My sister smirked through the whole thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 68 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/8/2021 00:01 Blood is thicker than a dollar bill Today, I woke up and wished I hadn’t. I’m broke, tired, hungry and sick of my family, who is rich by the way, not even contributing a penny to help me from being evicted. Oh, and I lost my job last week. FML I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 211 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/8/2021 22:01 You got played Today, my son-in-law's parents were saying it was a shame our kids are so busy working they have to babysit all day 4 days a week. Me and my wife babysit 3 days a week, which is when we realised our kids have basically tricked us 4 grandparents into raising their baby all week, including weekends. FML I agree, your life sucks 599 You deserved it 114 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Festivalgal - 1/8/2021 20:01 Festival spirit Today, I went to a music festival with my boyfriend and ran into his female bestie. She refused to say “Hello”, looked at me up and down, and made passive-aggressive remarks under her breath. After a while of us three hanging out, she stormed off and told him, "We’ll talk about this later, call me." FML I agree, your life sucks 653 You deserved it 42 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/8/2021 18:01 Sinning is winning Today, I came home early from work and walked in on my husband in bed with his two young female "bible study students" from his church. Now I remember why he explicitly said to never interrupt his, "Sunday School Studies" with them. FML I agree, your life sucks 803 You deserved it 48 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/8/2021 16:01 "Eruption" by Van Halen time Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 243 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/8/2021 14:01 Wet noodle Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML I agree, your life sucks 727 You deserved it 44 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dididikaisik - 1/8/2021 05:01 - United States Nice husband you've got there… Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 880 You deserved it 66 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Happy Birthday! Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 26270 You deserved it 7642 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nico - 1/8/2021 01:01 The pandemic is far from over Today, I have a friend who has consumed almost every known drug in our country, but refuses to get the Covid vaccine, claiming that, "it contains the 5G, and I won't let them control me." FML I agree, your life sucks 637 You deserved it 87 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By your_uglyness - 1/8/2021 05:59 That's their goal Today, I’m so ugly, I had to pay for more likes on Tinder because I ran out of them. FML I agree, your life sucks 392 You deserved it 215 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/8/2021 04:01 Cynophobia Today, my new boyfriend is so scared of dogs that he won’t even go in the room where my new puppy's bed is, so even on the days when he’s at home not working, I still have to pay the lad next door to come round and let it into the garden for a pee, because he’s too scared to open the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 369 You deserved it 497 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/8/2021 02:01 Call 'em now Today, I had to tell my adult daughter that living in a pigsty house, breastfeeding when she can be bothered, changing a nappy only once a day, and leaving the baby at any relative's house while she shops is not adequate parenting, and unless she improves, I’m getting social services involved. FML I agree, your life sucks 920 You deserved it 80 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/7/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - London First time? Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML I agree, your life sucks 522 You deserved it 173 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/7/2021 16:01 - United States Helicopter Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML I agree, your life sucks 759 You deserved it 61 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/7/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - Coventry Weebs unite! Today, I realised how much my family prefer my cousin than me. I love anime/manga, but my family never got involved, so it was very lonely growing up and I was bullied in school for it. Now I'm an adult, my cousin is into it, and they want me to take a interest in her so, "she has someone to talk and isn't lonely." FML I agree, your life sucks 660 You deserved it 84 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beckbr - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Lonely days Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML I agree, your life sucks 18284 You deserved it 29742 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Defeated - 31/7/2021 18:01 Supportive Today, I left hospital after suffering a head injury. My neurosurgeon gave my wife a list of potential household changes that needed to be made, otherwise I could have a fatal seizure. We got in the car and she said, "You do realise we aren’t doing a single thing on that bullshit list, right?" FML I agree, your life sucks 945 You deserved it 50 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/7/2021 16:01 I did your mom Today, I foolishly asked my dad why he had a disability rail fitted, not in his bathroom next to the toilet, but above his bed instead. He told me that with his bad joints, he needs something to grab onto on Saturday nights while he’s plowing my mom doggy style. FML I agree, your life sucks 556 You deserved it 430 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/7/2021 14:01 Yeet him into Bass Pro Shops Today, my boyfriend made me feel like shit because I didn’t feel like going fishing, and compared me to his "fake" friends, even though every day for the past two months, I’ve gone every time he’s asked. But anytime I suggest we do something different, he shuts it down. FML I agree, your life sucks 764 You deserved it 98 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gina Marie Lombardi - 31/7/2021 11:01 Lonely, so lonely Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML I agree, your life sucks 621 You deserved it 70 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Driri - 31/7/2021 08:00 Quickfire round Today, I had a panel job interview with 3 people. My nerves got the best of me, especially when they asked me about my weaknesses. I gave them an answer, but they kept bombarding me with additional follow-up questions that I couldn’t think of the answers to. It got so bad, I was reduced to tears. FML I agree, your life sucks 660 You deserved it 87 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, my wife told me she hates me and that I would fail in school. I've been busting my ass off. I have good grades and am dealing with 3 classes, work,... I agree, your life sucks 44 You deserved it 2 1 Comments
Today, my ex sent me a happy birthday through Whatsapp. My actual boyfriend didn't even notice me at all. FML I agree, your life sucks 60 You deserved it 13 0 Comments
Today, I came home early from work and walked in on my husband in bed with his two young female "bible study students" from his church. Now I remember... I agree, your life sucks 803 You deserved it 48 4 Comments
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML I agree, your life sucks 727 You deserved it 44 7 Comments