All the FMLs

Wake up

By idiot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 095

You deserved it 23 555

NEXT!

By M - 29/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized that, after waiting until I was 29 to be in a serious relationship, I got with a guy that turned out to be exactly like my abusive piece of shit father. Why? Why God? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 33

Wife REALIZES her husband is HIDING sick secret

By Alone - 29/08/2026 00:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my wife was all on board with having kids… until she started obsessively following the Lindsay Clancy case. I just got divorce papers, and when I demanded answers, she said the case made her not want to be a mom and wife anymore. Fuck you, Lindsay Clancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 61

Pregnancy glow

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I had an irate patient scream at me to the point security had to be called for not printing out the pictures she wanted. I’m an on call ultrasound tech in the emergency department. She’s only about 7 weeks along and thought she was going to get a picture of a full-sized baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 56

I'm confused

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 20:00 - South Korea - Hwaseong-si

Today, after I recently started working in Korean company, my manager said, "Speak Korean, this is Korea." I started communicating in Korean for a few days, but then my manager says : "Why you talk to me in Korean ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 40

Smokey

By aroman2312 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 387

You deserved it 2 127

Squeaky

By DIY - 28/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I finally fixed the squeaky door in my apartment after ignoring it for months. I tightened the hinges, added oil, and opened and closed it several times to check. That night, I realized the noise I'd been hearing wasn't the door. It was my neighbor's wardrobe on the other side of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 52

Falconhoof

By Another clue - 28/08/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, after months of wondering what a mysterious key I found in an old kitchen drawer unlocked, I finally discovered it fit the lock on a storage unit. I opened it and found a box containing three other keys I had also forgotten about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 152

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I bought a fancy reusable water bottle because I wanted to stop buying plastic ones. On the first day, I left it on the roof of my car while loading groceries. I remembered it when I heard a loud clunk at the next intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 185

TMI

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. Being dumped wasn't the reaction I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 080

You deserved it 231

Gooey mess

By Lauren - 28/08/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I volunteered to bring a homemade dessert to a family dinner. I made a cheesecake, decorated it beautifully, and carried it across town on the train. When I arrived, everyone complimented it. Then I realized I'd forgotten the removable bottom of the pan, so the cheesecake was still sitting inside a metal ring and couldn't be served. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 193

Wild goose chase

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I left my headphones on the bus and didn't realize until I got home. I used the tracking app and saw they were moving around the city. I followed the location for half an hour before realizing the signal was coming from my own neighborhood because the headphones had been sitting in my backpack the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 278

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 62

Good meeting you

By MOM!!!! - 27/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I joined an online meeting from my bedroom and made sure the background looked tidy. About twenty minutes in, my mother walked in behind me carrying a laundry basket and shouted, “Where did you put my bras?” The meeting was with my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 76

Smooth

By nothing - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 56 951

Unsend! Unsend!

By Niceknowingya - 27/08/2026 15:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I (admittedly dumbly) AI generated pictures of my boss as a joke with my coworkers. They asked me to send them to them but instead I ended up sending it to my boss. A bunch of them were him extremely obese or with his ass out. I can't unsend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 552

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Leatherhead

Today, after I filed for divorce, the papers were received by my soon-to-be ex-husband on our wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 307

New fangled car technology

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I have a RAV4 with a power hatch that randomly opens when the key is in my pocket, and it has trashed my garage door. Good news: I can stop paying for garage door repairs by paying to convert the hatch to manual instead. Oh, and I was supposed to move a bunch of stuff out of storage tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 83

I'm not getting it, am I?

By FailAtLife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 266

You deserved it 33 970

Not going well, how about you?

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 58

Dangling

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 241

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work in the tech industry so the plot is rather too long for 300 letters, but suffice it to say that my boss implemented a £3400 solution to a £7 problem, then successfully blamed me when the client questioned the sudden increase in costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 44

Hypercontrolling

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 55

OK, thanks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Worcester

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire PowerPoint based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 293

Gulls on film

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I'd signed up for a beginner birdwatching group because I wanted a quiet hobby. Everyone stood silently in a park for 20 minutes staring into a tree. I finally saw something move and whispered, “There!” The group leader looked through his binoculars and said, “That's a plastic bag.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 102

Rattle and hum

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I took my car to a garage because the dashboard had started making a strange clicking sound. The mechanic listened for 30 seconds, opened the glove compartment, and pulled out a pen rolling around inside it. I'd spent €90 on a diagnostic appointment to discover my stationery was causing the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 336

Unfair ruling

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, my late sister's kids are in separate foster homes and I was told I can't have custody of them because I'm not a resident of their state (California). I can't afford to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 48

RAWK N ROLL!!!

By stagedivefail - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 917

You deserved it 60 128

What would you do?

By Jacks jacket - 26/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I wore a jacket I bought yesterday at a thrift store to work. During lunch, I found a folded note in the inside pocket that said, "Call Mom. Tell her I'm okay." I spent the rest of the day wondering who had owned the jacket and whether I should actually call the number on the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 90

Fleeting

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my step-kids and left my abusive husband. I've just been informed that I'm being accused of kidnapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 183

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 085

You deserved it 2 994

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 407

You deserved it 3 623

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 381

You deserved it 12 169

Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 824

You deserved it 12 850

Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 177

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 145