All the FMLs

Mystery person

By How - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I received a letter from my apartment complex saying I have an unauthorized tenant living with me. I must provide proof they don't live with me in the next 72 hours or I get kicked out. Nobody lives with me, and I don't know how to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 853

You deserved it 221

BEEP BEEP BEEP

By Anonymous - 14/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I bought noise-canceling headphones because my neighbors are loud. The first night I wore them, I completely missed the sound of my smoke alarm battery dying. Instead of hearing a faint beep every minute, I woke up to six missed calls from my roommate asking why I wasn't answering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 30

Bowler

By Gutter - 14/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 130

Time flies

By Jellyroll - 14/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I ordered custom birthday balloons online. The company printed my age as 82 instead of 28. The balloons arrived on the morning of the party, and there wasn't enough time to replace them. My guests spent the evening asking about my "remarkable longevity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 47

Abstract art

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, it took me five hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbor's cat running all over the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 904

You deserved it 3 469

Convoluted

By TheDivorceCameFromNoWhere - 14/06/2026 03:00 - Germany

Today, I give my everything to my family and husband. Every penny I earn, hot meals daily, a clean house, and love. Despite all this, my husband asked me why I am still alive and told me to go and die. On my birthday. All because I mildly offended his third cousin against a ridiculous request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 35

No good deed and all that

By Jimmy - 14/06/2026 00:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 50

Skittish

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 58

Bigmouth strikes again

By whoops - 13/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with six strangers. To break the awkward silence, I said, "At least none of us have somewhere important to be." One woman immediately started crying because she was on her way to her own wedding ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 155

Hierarchy of problems

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 445

You deserved it 2 948

Winning, so much winning

By Cheated - 13/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I won a free year's supply of coffee in a contest. Turns out "a year's supply" meant 12 coupons for small coffees, one per month. The giant ceremonial check they gave me was worth more than the prize. I hope the publicity they got out of me was worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 48

Extreme disorderly conduct

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 407

Out of tune

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, after I spent 3 months secretly learning guitar so I could surprise everyone at a family barbecue, the moment finally came. I sat down, took a deep breath, and realized I'd practiced every song with a capo I forgot to bring, as well as my tuner. Everything sounded terrible. My uncle asked if I was improvising Free Jazz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 143

It's not what you think

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 862

You deserved it 4 639

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 745

Festivals suck

By Mollie - 13/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called and asked if he could take me to a music festival. I asked him to take me to one years ago and he made me feel so stupid for asking that I lost any desire to go to festivals ever again. I'm so glad he gets to enjoy something he ruined for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 118

Now you know

By codenamevulture - 12/06/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, it's been a few weeks now since I started dating a boy. A whole fairy tale relationship. He would write me poems and all that garbage. Today, we sat by a bonfire, and he randomly mentioned his three other girlfriends, and how I should accept them due to his family traditionally having cheating husbands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 59

Rubbing it in

By Ugly fat and old - 12/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 486

Saucy talk

By nicetoknow - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Blacktown

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "… unlike my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 057

You deserved it 1 608

Here in my car

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just a week after replacing my car's head gasket in a 7-hour job, my car's timing desynced. Fixing it could take 6 hours. Maybe I should just walk everywhere from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 64

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 12:00 - Belgium - Herentals

Today, because my lawyer made a mistake in 2013, I have to pay a fine of over 500.000 euros. I don't have that kind of money. The lawyer is of course completely of the hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 52

Cyrano

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends fancy each other and keep secretly asking me to write their sext messages. I'm essentially carrying on both sides of their sexy talk with myself, only I won’t be the one getting laid. Sometimes wish I was lesbian too, arranging a threesome between us would be easier than this FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 228

Perfect date

By maebyf - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 283

You deserved it 8 455

YouTube crime degree

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 03:00 - Canada - Fort Nelson

Today, I got contacted by an arm-chair detective do-gooder who was convinced my dad is a serial killer. I asked around and it turns out the do-gooder is actually prime suspect for a local murder and dismemberment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 49

DILF

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 79

No can do

By off - 11/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my parents told me I have a bunch of chores to do today, no excuses. I have severe diarrhea and can’t leave the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 68

Don't do this

By storksleuth - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 170

You deserved it 5 719

Popping

By Anonymous - 11/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Colwyn Bay

Today, my in-laws were visiting from Texas, so I made a brisket, smoked for 10 hours on the barbecue, and it was perfect. Alas, when my husband cut the meat, he burst a perfectly cooked cyst the size of a lemon that stank the whole house out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 81

Pushing it too far

By SayWhatNow - 11/06/2026 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, weeks after I tried to make connections with my husband's relatives by talking and being nice to them, basic courtesy, the relative's daughter gave me a 300$ Sephora makeup list that she expects me to gift her. We're not broke, but this seems a little too much to me. Is it me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 56

Have fun!

By Anonymous - 11/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I had to watch my husband and kids go off on our trip to Hawaii without me because I forgot my wallet at home and couldn't afford to take a later flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 385

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Embarrassing Gross Poopoo peepee Love Medication Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Birthday Mysterious Weird Ghosting Haircut Money Awkward Painful My ex Sex Art Cute Surprise Work Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Games Weddings Suspicious

The Top

Today, I was given a $100 cookbook as a gift by a co-worker. The man who shares a desk with me didn't realise it was mine, as he was at lunch when I got it, so he decided to give it to my boss when he walked in. My boss is refusing to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 249

You deserved it 1 471

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 813

You deserved it 74 124

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 855

You deserved it 4 905

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 309

You deserved it 3 819

Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 936

You deserved it 372

Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 150

You deserved it 191