By - 24/2/2020 14:00 It's wrong Today, I found out the phrase "painless dentistry" is a dirty lie. FML I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 34 3 0 0 24 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 18:00 I miss him Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 363 You deserved it 49 21 1 3 7 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 14:00 Her brother Today, I told my best friend that I love her. After so long, I realized tiny relation weren't going to get her to notice, so I decided to just start acting like we were already a couple. She didn't get mad, so that further reinforced my idea that she liked me. Turns out, she loves me like a brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 420 You deserved it 223 9 1 22 11 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 05:00 What a pity Today, I met my old love I haven't seen in 30 years. We are both married with kids. After talking 5 minutes with her, I fell in love again. It isn't mutual. FML I agree, your life sucks 931 You deserved it 2237 114 2 33 34 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 01:00 Well done Today, my ex girlfriend's dad and her brothers attacked me because I hit her, even though she hit me first and there multiple witnesses when she did it. FML I agree, your life sucks 670 You deserved it 1224 56 3 32 17 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/2/2020 20:00 That's a mother Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML I agree, your life sucks 1827 You deserved it 223 61 8 9 96 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 24/2/2020 02:00 Incomprehensible Today, I arrived in Tokyo and went to stay overnight in a teeny airport cabin hotel with shared bathroom facilities. I used the little wicker baskets to put my clothes on and when I came out of the shower, I found someone had stolen my favorite top. Who steals dirty clothes?! FML I agree, your life sucks 2232 You deserved it 245 101 4 41 47 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/2/2020 14:00 The disturbator Today, when I went to work, I had a head room because I haven't slept in two days. My colleagues thought that I was on something and probably think, I'm a cracked, while, I chase the neighbor's cat every night because my veranda has become her litter box. FML I agree, your life sucks 581 You deserved it 234 40 2 8 13 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/2/2020 05:00 Great disappointment Today, I found out thru a friend that my crush actually thinks that I am creepy and disgusting, when all this time I was nice to her, paid attention to her whenever I'd see her and talk to her, shared my snacks with her, and such. I feel like dumb, ha-ha fuck love. FML I agree, your life sucks 932 You deserved it 442 81 4 12 16 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 23/2/2020 01:00 Very good remedy Today, after suffering with anxiety and insomnia for a nearly a year and exhausting every natural remedy, I could think of, I finally decided to go to a Dr. for help. Instead of writing me a prescription, he told me to drink more teas and think happy thoughts. I had to pay out of pocket for this. FML I agree, your life sucks 1278 You deserved it 127 72 2 36 27 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/2/2020 20:00 Too dry Today, I spent the evening with my new wife at the doctor’s because she thought she had a UTI. The doctor sent the nurse to talk to us because he was too embarrassed to tell us that we just needed to use more lube. FML I agree, your life sucks 1185 You deserved it 239 11 3 5 181 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/2/2020 18:00 My dear neighbor Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML I agree, your life sucks 1327 You deserved it 68 8 3 90 19 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/2/2020 14:00 Good old days Today, I drove my first grade son to a friend's house for a play date. Turns out, his friends mom was my ex who cheated on my sophomore year in high school. FML I agree, your life sucks 1201 You deserved it 143 9 3 41 74 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 22/2/2020 05:00 I took a rake Today, I found out the guy I’ve been talking to for almost 6 months just had a baby with his wife (they’re not legally divorced yet). He told me that we were just a fling. FML I agree, your life sucks 1098 You deserved it 301 50 2 37 18 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/2/2020 01:00 Ready or not? Today, the girl I love told me that she wanted to marry me. She then went on a date with another person who invited her to eat in a fancy restaurant. The next day she told me that she was not yet ready to marry. FML I agree, your life sucks 1321 You deserved it 134 78 6 17 27 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/2/2020 14:00 No chance Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML. I agree, your life sucks 1066 You deserved it 650 32 7 5 98 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/2/2020 18:00 Woe is me! Today, Had sex with some random girl off Tinder to make my ex jealous. I received gonorrhea from her and she's pregnant and not going to abort. This random girl is the 2nd girl I have ever slept with in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 754 You deserved it 4075 38 4 55 164 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/2/2020 14:00 My ex is a cannibal Today, my boyfriend bit my vagina, like had my entire crotch between his teeth because he thought it would turn me on more. How did he make the jump from ear nibbling to fanny biting and think it was sexy. The bruises hurt so bad I’m not even upset I dumped him after 3 years together, asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 1459 You deserved it 361 14 2 114 38 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 21/2/2020 01:00 The innocence of children Today, my 5 year old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I stole her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she has her nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 1241 You deserved it 425 14 1 22 144 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/2/2020 20:00 Really like you Today, I saw somebody, Who looked just like you, She walked like you do, I thought it was you, As she turned the corner, I called out your name, I felt so ashamed, When it wasn't you, wasn't you. FML I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 1195 146 9 2 33 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/2/2020 18:00 So sly Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples etc. Basically a real scumbag. He also left me the bill and turns out he had all the most expensive menu items including a £120 bottle of wine, it cost over £300 total. FML I agree, your life sucks 1628 You deserved it 218 19 5 111 19 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/2/2020 14:00 My alarm Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex, like apes, and couldn't go back to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1443 You deserved it 166 9 3 24 119 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/2/2020 05:00 Oh shit Today, I brought my girlfriend a sex toy. We went home, made dinner, had some wine, then watched a movie with her mom. When the movie was over, I wanted to secretly let her know that I was ready for bed. So I put the sex toy in my pocket, when I went into the hall, her mom was right there and started dying laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 535 You deserved it 1225 18 5 5 101 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 20/2/2020 01:00 It's just me Today, I stopped by my elderly mother’s house to drop off some groceries. I decided to clean the place while I was there just to be nice. In true three bears, fashion I fell asleep on the couch. I was awoken by a police officer pointing his gun at me. My mom woke up and thought I was a burglar. FML I agree, your life sucks 1565 You deserved it 157 8 3 35 118 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/2/2020 20:00 Just once Today, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon (a few months). He started fondling me in bed. Then, I realised he was asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1482 You deserved it 137 36 4 11 80 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/2/2020 18:00 It hurts Today, I accidentally popped a pimple, but it was on my ass. It burns so badly. FML I agree, your life sucks 965 You deserved it 246 6 3 19 72 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/2/2020 14:00 It's senseless Today, I went to the hospital (super busy so 5 hours of waiting), and I did a pee test when I first arrived. After 5 hours of waiting, they have lost my pee. How do you lose someone's pee? FML I agree, your life sucks 1371 You deserved it 91 15 7 13 91 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/2/2020 23:00 Sweet dream Today, I had a naughty dream about my boyfriend. What I forgot is that he was staying over that night. I woke up this morning to a rendition of how I’d climbed on top of him and started going at it. I thought this had all been part of my dream. Guess not. FML I agree, your life sucks 1209 You deserved it 311 12 12 11 167 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 19/2/2020 01:00 Don't care Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age nor birthday. They are twins. FML I agree, your life sucks 580 You deserved it 1269 19 5 13 94 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/2/2020 20:00 Great mishap Today, while at work I felt the need to fart. My coworker stepped out of the back room, I knew this was my chance. I went for it and to my horror I realize that I shit myself and it dripped down my pants, almost to my socks. In complete panic I ran and fall down with shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1407 You deserved it 677 19 6 41 146 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
my niece gave her bike instead of me buying one so I was way to excited that on the way home at night, I panicked going down a slope and forgot to use... I agree, your life sucks 1 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today I got home from spend a week and half at my long distants gf place, I was home for about an hour before she dumped me. Guess all the driving and... I agree, your life sucks 6 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 363 You deserved it 49 12 Comments
Today, Had sex with some random girl off Tinder to make my ex jealous. I received gonorrhea from her and she's pregnant and not going to abort. This random... I agree, your life sucks 754 You deserved it 4075 28 Comments
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