Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my upstairs neighbor woke me with her sex moans, reminding me how single I'll be on Valentine's. FML

#21525773
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2844) - you deserved it (276)

On 02/13/2016 at 10:43am - intimacy - by me_jpg - United States

Today, I found out the only reason I passed maths was because my mum hooked up with my teacher. FML

#21525739
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2919) - you deserved it (353)

On 02/13/2016 at 5:48am - intimacy - by helloitsme - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while driving on the motorway, I sneezed so hard my contacts popped out. FML

#21525728
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2769) - you deserved it (195)

On 02/13/2016 at 4:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML

#21525713
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5613) - you deserved it (417)

On 02/13/2016 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

#21525687
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5513) - you deserved it (483)

On 02/13/2016 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to take a coworker aside and awkwardly let him know he had a dried cum stain down the back of his shirt. FML

#21525636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10995) - you deserved it (748)

On 02/12/2016 at 9:35pm - misc - by FML (man) - United States (Alabama)

Joe36's comment : "A coworker informed me that I had a cum stain on my shirt. I don't know how long it's been there or how it got there. FML"

See all the comments →

Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML

#21525623
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (703)

On 02/12/2016 at 8:56pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my doctor misdiagnosed my kidney stones as constipation. Now, I'm shitting like crazy from the laxatives that he gave me, and I also have to pass a kidney stone. FML

#21525617
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13171) - you deserved it (713)

On 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm - health - by ugh - United States (Colorado)

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML

#21525610
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11740) - you deserved it (1554)

On 02/12/2016 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

XxPojoxX's comment : At least your cat won't get pregnant. Lol you should prolly take your cat to the vet

See all the comments →

Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML

#21525574
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13615) - you deserved it (1149)

On 02/12/2016 at 5:08pm - love - by SnurklesMcGee (man) - Canada

Today, I now know what it feels like to violently sneeze while a nurse still has a needle in your arm. FML

#21525526
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14560) - you deserved it (916)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

#21525521
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13449) - you deserved it (2940)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:10pm - health - by neveragain (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

thatsjustgreat1's comment : Gives a new meaning to "bust a nut".

See all the comments →

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

#21525510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (1150)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: