Your everyday life stories

226

By FML - 16/7/2019 05:18

Relatable.

106

Today, I approached my mother for comfort, because I've been feeling depressed and unloved by anyone lately. She replied, “Honestly, I stopped loving you back when you were a toddler.” FML

By machina - 16/7/2019 04:01

471

Today, I realized my boyfriend's family love and respect me more than my own family. FML

By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 02:01

473

Today, I went in for I thought would be an interview for a promotion, but turns out there was no interview set up, and they'd already decided who would be the next manager. FML

By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 00:01

555

Today, my brother asked if I could babysit his kids tomorrow. I declined, as tomorrow is my birthday and I have plans. This isn't the first time he's forgotten my birthday, and I doubt it'll be the last. FML

By SquirrellyGirl - 15/7/2019 22:00

695

Today, after months of my best friend telling me we were going to be roommates and moving to a new city together, with me trusting her, she ditched me because “everyone” told her not to live with me. She’s still moving, and we’re going to be in the same school and class. FML

By peapapeanut - 15/7/2019 20:06

736

Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML

By Anonymous - 15/7/2019 18:00

421

1046

Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

By Melissa Barrios - 15/7/2019 16:00

843

Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML

By Anonymous - 15/7/2019 14:00

1056

177

Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML

By Birthday1313 - 15/7/2019 12:10

864

Today, on our way home, my cousin, step dad and I noticed a man trying to kidnap a young girl. As good citizens, we called the police so they could catch the man. Nine police cars showed up at my house because dispatch told them we were the kidnappers. FML

By UniqueKay - 15/7/2019 06:06

1217

Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML

By Divorcee - 15/7/2019 04:02

1541

133

Today, my boyfriend's mother called me lazy. Her days consist of sitting on her couch watching Fox News. I'm a college athlete who also has a part-time job, yet I'm the lazy one. FML

By rissalynn - 15/7/2019 02:00

1199

Today, I found the phone number of my biological mother after years of searching for her, and gave her a call. I introduced myself by name and said, "I'm your daughter." There was a pause at the other end, followed by, "The one I aborted or the one I gave away?" FML

By thedeadone - 15/7/2019 00:01

1548

118

Today, I learned just how bad jellyfish stings hurt. Multiple times. On my testicles. FML

By hunta331 - 14/7/2019 22:00

1306

138

Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML

By Username - 14/7/2019 20:00

1283

182

By Mystic Alan - 14/7/2019 18:00

FML's Weekly Horoscope - 14th of July 2019

Find out what bullshit the asshole stars and planets have in store for you this week!

Today, I got to wake up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "U got competition." FML

By Anonymous - 14/7/2019 16:00

1437

137

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

By Tripp - 14/7/2019 14:00

1242

428

Today, I went on a 50 km bike ride with a friend. We stopped for a break halfway through, and locked our bikes up. When we returned, some guy had locked his bike to mine. We had to wait an hour for him to return. FML

By i love stupid people - 14/7/2019 06:30

1504

Today, I found out that my husband only dated me because I look like what he thought the daughter he had with his first wife might look like when she's grown up. FML

By Anonymous - 14/7/2019 04:30

1683

117

Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML

By HBCruiser - 14/7/2019 02:30

1136

122

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I've been "spending too much time at the bar." I've been sober for 2 years. FML

By wmhh26 - 14/7/2019 00:30

1383

Today, I couldn't convince my grandmother that no matter how much she called AT&T, they will not come and fix her dead computer. FML

By Frustrated - 13/7/2019 22:30

1268

Today, my father calculated that the only way we can afford to keep the house was if I get pregnant and claim child benefits. My family now won't speak to me because I refuse to do it. I'm 15 years old. FML

By Teenagemum - 13/7/2019 20:30

2316

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

By hotboxed - 13/7/2019 18:30

1222

289

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

By cathugger - 13/7/2019 16:30

1493

Today, for the third time this month, my family ridiculed me for being picky for ordering a burger without lettuce. They know I'm allergic. FML

By Anonymous - 13/7/2019 14:30

1380

128

Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML

By ChangingTheLocks - 13/7/2019 12:30

Call The Police!

1674