Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7384) - you deserved it (437)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6784) - you deserved it (496)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

xluciferx666's comment : Sounds like a regular game of cards to me

See all the comments →

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

#21395407
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (1018)

On 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by dontsqueezemepls - New Zealand (Auckland)

Calingaladha's comment : Obviously that wouldn't work. You have to smack the bottom until it all comes out.

See all the comments →

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13680) - you deserved it (1029)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13388) - you deserved it (1573)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Vidrill's comment : Well, maybe if you wanted to keep playing, you should have put your foot down?

See all the comments →

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12944) - you deserved it (757)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

#21395232
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21214) - you deserved it (2228)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by testom - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you deserved it (2396)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16925) - you deserved it (3003)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (1752)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (1441)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: