All the FMLs

Shopaholic

By Permanently broke - 06/05/2026 05:00 - United States

Today, my yearly bonus finally hit my bank account while I was busy at work. Hurrah! Unfortunately, I'm married, so by the time I got a second of free time to check my phone, my email was full of my wife's online shopping receipts, including a non-refundable cruise. I wish we could save money… FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 2

Helpful advice

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I went to my doctor to discuss my chronic insomnia. After I'd spent ten minutes describing how exhausted I am and how it’s affecting my life, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Have you tried just closing your eyes and clearing your mind?" I paid a $50 copay to be told how to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 12

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer, I saw her battery was flat so I said, "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said, "Not yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 557

You deserved it 54 734

Next!

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a date when a woman across the restaurant started choking on food, so I and a few others rushed to help her. We got her to cough up the food but as I looked back to my date, she was stealing food from the plates of other people who'd left their tables to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 29

Oddly specific

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 17:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I have no choice but to move back in with my mom and her husband, who are still married even though he's responsible for the house fire that killed my two younger brothers in 2013. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 40

Share the shame

By Ughh - 05/05/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, I learned why a guy at work hates me when he drunkenly confessed it at a work retreat. Apparently I look like a gay teenager he had a horrible awkward one-night stand with, and every time he sees me he gets mad at himself. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 28

The customer is always right

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 11:00 - United States

Today, a customer ordered the spicy shrimp ramen bowl. The menu says spicy, I warned her it was spicy, it’s in the fucking title SPICY SHRIMP RAMEN! Despite all of this, instead of ordering something different, the stupid fucking Karen sent her order back four times because it was too hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 30

Pile on

By skitzobiatch69 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 873

You deserved it 2 417

Family man

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 08:00 - United States

Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 79

Best keep it under wraps

By Amandy - 05/05/2026 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was about to admit and open up to my good friend about the guy I like, who she's known longer than I have, until I heard her say something to another friend about him: "Stop pestering my sister's boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 57

Step-nothing

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 64

Messy bitches

By princessbbee - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 984

You deserved it 7 219

The yadda yadda yadda

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 19:00 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, I was walking around with a friend, who I assumed was beside me, but it turned out she'd left my side minutes ago and hadn’t heard my rambling that some random person had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 142

The nerve of this dude

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband confessed to cheating but then tried to turn it around on me. Apparently, because I wasn’t regularly checking his phone, it must mean I don’t really care about him or I’d have caught him months ago. Sorry for trusting my husband I suppose, geez. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 69

Family ties

By SadOne - 04/05/2026 22:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I didn't know that my toxic mother went to my sister's house. I called her, and she said to my sister while on the call to me, "She's so loud and always disturbing me." I cut the call and stopped talking to her. She's mad now and my dad's scolding me for hurting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 63

Caught it

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 14:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, after months of arguing with doctors and them trying to hand me off to mental health professionals, it turns out I indeed have a physical brain injury they missed. Scary, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 43

Let me sleep!

By ineed sleep!!! - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument when I suggested we start sleeping in separate rooms. He thinks I don’t love him anymore, but that’s not the case. I’m madly in love with him, but he snores like a freight train and thrashes like a fucking Ninja Turtle all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 289

No politik here

By Lia - 04/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I just moved from New York and I started a new school with new people. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me because I’m Israeli and apparently I “participate in genocide and take Americans' tax money.” I've lived in America since I was 4 and haven’t done any of that, let alone go back to Israel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 97

Crisis of faith

By Hmmm… - 04/05/2026 06:00 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I'm no longer interested in praying with my family. That's a very uncomfortable thing for me. I still believe in God and prayer, but it’s uncomfortable when your family is very religious and half of them are ministers. I can’t tell anyone in my family this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 73

I'm right here

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I could strip down butt naked, slather myself in honey, and roll around in $100 bills, and still wouldn’t be able to get my husband’s attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 57

Going underground

By HotToTrotskyite - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Russian Federation

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 324

You deserved it 85 604

Nailed that social interaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 18:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, someone was making jokes and everyone started laughing, so I laughed. He then proceeded to look me dead in the eye and go, "What are you laughing at?" I started stuttering and mumbled back quietly, "I don't know, what are you laughing at?" He goes, "I'm not laughing" and then they all stared at me weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 224

Oooh la la

By timothy - 03/05/2026 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I sent a porn link to my buddy. I received no response from him for hours so I went to text him again. "Brian" and "Boss" are right next to each other in my contacts list. Tomorrow I go into work to find out if I still have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 496

I'm in Hell

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I sit here struggling with such horrendous pain, which I've been dealing with now for the last six months or so, crying and contemplating whether I want to be around or not, as I'm so fed up with the pain. It's affecting me physically and mentally, I just don't know what to do anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 62

Money pit

By Stephanie - 03/05/2026 13:00 - United States - Vincennes

Today, my car was stolen. They found it and I wish they never had. Full coverage would have paid the car, but instead the repairs cost $1700. My deductible was $2000. It ended up costing me $2000. The people who fixed my ignition broke my remote start. I have to fight to get them to pay for that repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 52

So romantic

By notonthepavement - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 039

You deserved it 1 710

Worst hangover ever

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while I was drunk, my brother decided to use pliers to pull out my bad tooth. He grabbed the wrong tooth, and when it didn’t pop out cleanly he decided he just needed to squeeze harder, and crushed the healthy tooth into splinters. I can feel the nerve with my tongue, it’s agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 417

Overfamiliar

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to finally call my stepmom "Mom." She politely asked me not to call her that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 68

Hanging on in quiet desperation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 089

You deserved it 3 140

Let's push things forward

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 18:00 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I've spent 14 years building a life with someone who cheated, lied, and made me feel like my pain was “unattractive.” I stayed loyal, worked two jobs, and gave everything while he gave nothing. Now I’m left healing from a love that was never real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 141

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The Top

Today, it was freezing in the office, so I brought in a small space heater and plugged it in under my desk. Moments later, the power went out on the entire floor of the office. I quickly unplugged the heater and stuck it in a drawer. Now I just have to somehow sneak it out of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 167

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480 937

You deserved it 71 062

Today, Social Services took my recently deceased girlfriend's kids. I've loved those kids for almost 10 years and now I might never see them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 99

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 468

You deserved it 3 257

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 329

You deserved it 4 857

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 031

You deserved it 30 544