He's 9 btw · 11 November 2026, 00:00 ·New York, United States

No fun allowed in the kitchen area

Today, I was making egg salad for the week's lunches and told my son to come help. When we started peeling the eggs, he thought it was funny to roll them off the counter and ruin them. I shouted at him for being disrespectful and wasteful, and my wife screamed at me that, "He's just a little boy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 You deserved it 2

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Anonymous · 10 November 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Knackered af, mate

Today, I got home so exhausted after working a 24-hour shift that I stripped naked before peeing into the toilet, but forgot to take off my boxers first, so I was peeing into my boxers, and didn’t notice until I felt the heat running down my thighs onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 You deserved it 21

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Anonymous · 10 November 2026, 20:00 ·Port Arthur, United States

Baseless accusation!

Today, my daughter falsely accused me of stealing and snooping through her diary. She later found out that I didn't, but is still angry and not speaking to me because I "made her think that I did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 You deserved it 7

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Depirama · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Bron, France

Forum etiquette

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 657 You deserved it 16 588

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brokenDanceDebut · 10 November 2026, 15:00 ·Berlin, Germany

Experimental dance moves

Today, I wanted to kickstart my career as a dance teacher as part of a dance festival. I had my own performance and a kids group. I froze on stage and stopped dancing halfway. They had the wrong music and the kids stopped halfway. Overall, zero sign-ups so far. One rival literally smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 10 November 2026, 12:00 ·Dar es Salaam, Tanzania

Dunno where that hand has been

Today, at a funeral family gathering, I greeted an elderly relative and kissed her palm (it's a family thing). She then took my palm and brought it near her lips, then dropped it and went on her way. I didn't even wanna do that in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 You deserved it 25

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Anonymous · 10 November 2026, 09:00 ·West Valley City, United States

Humblebrag much?

Today, I realized that I went from being extremely fit, disciplined, and well-groomed to a shell of myself due to my girlfriend's lack of sex drive. I used to have 10/10s hitting me up for threesomes and have women breaking up with their men for a chance with me. Now I'm stuck with someone who doesn't care about sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 You deserved it 268

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mr_flarpin · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Stoneham, United States

Baffled and confused

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 369 You deserved it 7 607

59 comments Share

Anonymous · 10 November 2026, 03:00 ·London, Canada

Gatekeeping

Today, I met this girl and we hit it off. We got talking about growing up. She let me know she had ADHD growing up and it was very hard growing up with it, and she got help. I validated her. I let told her I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and she told me that I’m 29 and should've it figured out. She was very dismissive about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 35

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Anonymous · 10 November 2026, 00:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

Get a job!

Today, as always, my fiance claims to be a "picky eater." This consists of McDonald's, pizza or Taco Bell. Unfortunately, I have had to do groceries instead due to current funding, and have been advised that they will no longer be eating as they can't stomach anything else. They also refuse to get a job to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201 You deserved it 82

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Anonymous · 9 November 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

TRAITORS!

Today, my parents love my girlfriend so much more than me that they actually convinced her that she deserves someone better than me. Then when she broke up with me, they started introducing her to better guys, including my cousin, guys from church, and one of my mum's employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276 You deserved it 35

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Dion98 · 9 November 2026, 20:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

What gives?

Today, my fiancee gave me back her engagement ring because I refused to drive her to get cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213 You deserved it 50

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Selina · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Trenton, United States

NOT NOW!

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 015 You deserved it 5 359

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Joh · 9 November 2026, 15:00 ·Singapore, Singapore

Same, tbh

Today, I realized that there are two types of days in my life. Days when I work, and days where I lie on the couch doomscrolling and waiting for it to be late enough to start drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 179

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Gerry · 9 November 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Checking out

Today, I was suspended from work. Last week, while working at the hospital, they brought in a patient who was involved in an accident. He was pronounced DOA (Dead On Arrival). He was a longtime friend of mine, so I posted my grief on Facebook and Instagram. That’s how his mom and sister found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 You deserved it 627

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SchoolSucks · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Get me away from her(e)

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 695 You deserved it 3 243

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Anonymous · 9 November 2026, 03:00 ·San Bernardino, United States

Judge Judy

Today, we had a family gathering but the whole time my spoiled brat of a sister made a big deal about her “coming out” as polyamorous. She kept going on and on about imaginary struggles and oppression, while simultaneously bragging about all the people (if you can call them that) she’s banging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245 You deserved it 86

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Anonymous · 9 November 2026, 00:00 ·Rolde, The Netherlands

I'm so tired

Today, after a very long day, I got home from the swimming pool at 10:30 pm. I didn’t have dinner, I was super hungry, so I ordered a pizza while walking back home. 35 minutes later, only a can of coke arrived. Apparently, I that's all I actually ordered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 You deserved it 126

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Karencut · 8 November 2026, 20:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Today, I got a professional haircut for the first time in 2 years. I wanted it touching the tops of my shoulders and thats what length the stylist cut it to. After she washed my hair she decided to 'touch it up' and cut way too much off. I now have a Karen cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248 You deserved it 37

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desigirl · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Johnson City, United States

Worst argument ever

Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 532 You deserved it 3 513

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Anonymous · 8 November 2026, 15:00 ·Atlanta, United States

You would scream too

Today, I got home from work and discovered that my dog dug up my bunny who died a couple of weeks ago. The scream I screamed made the new neighbor think I'm crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 74

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Anonymous · 8 November 2026, 09:00 ·San Bernardino, United States

Always be prepared

Today, my boyfriend’s ex is such a vindictive controlling bitch. It was our first time picking up the kids but she refused to give them to us because we didn’t have car seats. Instead of just letting us use hers, she demanded we go buy brand new seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 You deserved it 813

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juliannamelissa · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Philadelphia, United States

Relaxing

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 513 You deserved it 9 758

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fiat850 · 8 November 2026, 03:00 ·Chino, United States

Food for thought

Today, we held a funeral for a friend who'd died of food poisoning that he contracted at the funeral for another friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332 You deserved it 36

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Anonymous · 8 November 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Life's a bitch

Today, a tiny puppy only a few weeks old came out of some bushes and chose me as her human. I took her home and left her with my wife while I went back out for flea shampoo, milk, and a bed. When I got home, my wife had already called a charity to pick her up, because, “We’re not dog people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 320 You deserved it 93

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Hormonal · 7 November 2026, 22:00 ·Berlin, Germany

Armchair shrinks requested in the comments!

Today, I'm unmotivated, lazy slob who keeps screwing up at work. For half the month. The other half, I'm a hyperactive, super fast worker, who finishes everything, and greedily picks up more tasks. Between the Jekyll and Hyde, my coworkers no longer trust me. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 201 You deserved it 116

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Ashy.Kinz · 7 November 2026, 20:00 ·Garland, United States

From beyond the grave

Today, I found out that multiple people have access to my dead friend’s FB account and have seen every single thing I’ve tagged his account on, sent to his Messenger, etc., Which is mostly spicy novel accounts that do giveaways (where you tag a friend to enter). Thanksgiving might be interesting… FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 You deserved it 272

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althornton2462 · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Hudson, United States

News to him

Today, I messaged the guy I've been seeing for four months, referring to him as my boyfriend. His response? "I didn't realize you had a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 708 You deserved it 4 329

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Optic Blast · 7 November 2026, 15:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Eye to eye

Today, my idiot friends set me up on a blind date. It was about to go well, until her glass eye fell out onto my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 7 November 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Wrong way down a one-way street

Today, my wife is mad at me because I didn’t let our son win at Mario Kart Racing and he cried. I’m sorry, but it’s almost impossible to let a kid win at Mario Kart when he drives his character off every cliff, runs into every obstacle, and pulls 180s to drive down the track in the wrong direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298 You deserved it 40

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