By gregm97 - 6/6/2020 05:03 Motel 6 to 9 Today, after my family and I returned to our motel after a long day trip, we saw that the room was made. As we were getting ready to sleep, I pulled my sheets back to find a large piece of crap smeared all over the bed. When we told the front desk about this, they told us to "fuck off." FML I agree, your life sucks 124 You deserved it 10 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/6/2020 02:00 Freak out Today, we ended the night with a yellow jacket queen trying to make a home in our apartment's kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 240 You deserved it 11 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cacheson - 5/6/2020 23:00 The Good Fight Today, my husband and roommate went out to protest for the second day in a row. I have an anxiety disorder, so I can't go. I’m just stuck here watching videos of the fires and violence, wondering if they will even come home. FML I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 117 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mama bear - 5/6/2020 20:00 Fight Club Penguin Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 806 You deserved it 62 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/6/2020 17:00 It's called fashion Dave, look it up! Today, my beautiful bride walked towards me in a dress that looked just like a ribbed condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 613 You deserved it 98 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DanJames24 - 5/6/2020 14:00 Family jewels Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 740 You deserved it 56 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fatty punani - 5/6/2020 08:00 Sexy is in the eye of the beholder Today, my husband thinks I stopped wearing underwear to be sexy. Truth is, I’ve gained so much weight during quarantine that even my granny panties no longer fit. FML I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 312 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/6/2020 05:00 Manly men fighting Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML I agree, your life sucks 830 You deserved it 132 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By creepingjennie - 5/6/2020 02:00 Droopy Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 614 You deserved it 304 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Willow McGarrigle - 4/6/2020 23:00 Manipulation Today, my ex, who I only dated for 3 months, told me the only reason why he dated me was because he thought my sister was hot, and he just wanted to get closer to her. So thank you for that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1024 You deserved it 63 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By why lie - 4/6/2020 20:00 Age ain't nothing but a number Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML I agree, your life sucks 1614 You deserved it 275 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 17:00 Furry Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 1410 You deserved it 74 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By carey33 - 4/6/2020 14:15 Quite the catch Today, even though I’m having contractions, I’m still trying to clean up the house. My husband just got pissy with me because I was rolling the vacuum behind me instead of picking it up and carrying it to the closet. FML I agree, your life sucks 1282 You deserved it 120 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 08:00 Hard shoulder Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML I agree, your life sucks 1089 You deserved it 127 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 05:00 Issues Today, I woke up from a vivid dream in which I murdered my entire family. It took 20 minutes after waking up, drenched in sweat and tears, to realize I'm not a murderer and my life is OK. This dream is recurring. FML I agree, your life sucks 1241 You deserved it 79 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Galaxy-eyes photon human - 4/6/2020 02:00 Misery Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. The worst part is I’m currently stuck in his house and can’t even deal with a fight right now. Why? Because I just had surgery this morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 1280 You deserved it 77 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VoodooPriestess - 3/6/2020 23:00 Just a prank, bruh! Today, while looking at engagement rings online, I started crying. Not because I'm getting married, but because the only proposal scenario my mind could concoct always ended with my boyfriend saying,"Psych!" FML I agree, your life sucks 896 You deserved it 219 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alan - 3/6/2020 20:00 The Best of the Worst of FML #89 Here's a selection of some of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep! 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/6/2020 17:00 Check this out Today, I ran downstairs to meet the Amazon driver and threw on a shirt in a rush. Only after he left did I realise it was my shirt with artful rips in the design and I'd forgot to put on a vest under it. I'd flashed the driver my entire right boob with nipple piercing through one of the holes. FML I agree, your life sucks 540 You deserved it 1210 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 3/6/2020 14:06 Stinky mom Today, my mom once again cried that I never come to visit her. I’ve tried, but her house is just unbearable. It’s always no less than 80°F inside, and she also refuses to clean up. She just burns multiple candles and air fresheners all day to mask the smell. She refuses any cleaning help I offer. FML I agree, your life sucks 1331 You deserved it 83 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/6/2020 08:00 All out in the open Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML I agree, your life sucks 1181 You deserved it 129 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoHipster - 3/6/2020 05:02 Crazy people Today, while I was waiting for a bus, a nutjob-looking dude walked up to me, then hissed, "You hipster scum, you don't even need those glasses," before forcibly removing them and snapping them in half. I was wearing regular clothes, and those prescription glasses cost me $500. FML I agree, your life sucks 1587 You deserved it 89 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kmjlevesque - 3/6/2020 02:00 Bye bye clothes Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1270 You deserved it 235 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blah - 2/6/2020 23:00 Exercise One Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML I agree, your life sucks 1508 You deserved it 264 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 20:00 Responsibilities Today, I got chewed out by my boss. Why? Because my coworkers haven't gotten their work done. Now I have to scan them their work for them to complete it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1069 You deserved it 80 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 17:00 Strawberry surprise Today, my husband got home and shouted he had a surprise for me. I shouted back that I hoped it was his tasty knob with strawberry lube. Nope, he'd picked up my grandparents for a visit now social isolation is being relaxed. They might be in their 80’s but they’re not deaf, unfortunately. FML I agree, your life sucks 1251 You deserved it 558 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By no one - 2/6/2020 14:00 Crucial information Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 1364 You deserved it 90 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 08:00 Close enough Today, I finished writing a 60-page essay on the history and people of Australia. Turns out it's supposed to be on Austria. It's due this morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 974 You deserved it 1140 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 05:00 Extreme drying Today, I was drying my duvet and pillows in the dryer. Apparently, one of the pillows was memory foam, which I was not aware of. It caught on fire due to the heat and nearly burned down my laundry room. FML I agree, your life sucks 900 You deserved it 651 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 02:00 Stealth dog Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML I agree, your life sucks 1262 You deserved it 161 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today my fiancé handed me the engagement ring and told me she felt like she’s pressuring me into marriage so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer... I agree, your life sucks 7 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, while out in public, my stepmom turned around and screamed at me for a good five minutes for “walking through a door before an elder.” People stared.... I agree, your life sucks 9 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck).... I agree, your life sucks 1410 You deserved it 74 4 Comments
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML I agree, your life sucks 1508 You deserved it 264 10 Comments
