Today, I realized one of my best friends was only friends with me because I would take her shopping, spoil her regularly, and help her out financially. She moved to another province and only contacted me whenever she wanted money. After I refused a couple of times, she deleted me on Facebook. FML

by Less Friendship, More Cash / 05/06/2016 at 7:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents "suggested" I help them move house. I didn't realize that meant I would be carrying every stick of furniture out of their house. The muscles in my arms are so tight now that I can't straighten them. I can't wait to help them unpack tomorrow. FML

by Pain / 05/06/2016 at 7:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

2016/05/06
Promo

Today, I was so exhausted that I took a quick nap on the floor of my classroom during one of my free periods. I must have turned off the alarm I set, because I was gently woken up to the giggles of a whole class of students. To make matters worse, I was lying in a big puddle of my own drool. FML

by waking nightmare / 05/06/2016 at 7:08am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, I took my neighbor, who lives alone, to the hospital as she was complaining of stomach pains. Being a healthcare professional, all signs pointed to appendicitis. We waited for 6 hours to be told she needed to poo. FML

by chocolateteacup / 05/06/2016 at 5:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish the job. Welcome to Russia. FML

by EuropeEst / 04/16/2014 at 3:23am / Latvia (Riga)

Today, my class went for a hike through the woods near our school to destress during finals. While walking downhill towards the edge of the lake, I tripped and tumbled down the hill, and ended up diving head first into the lake. I had to hike back to the school soaking wet. FML

by At Least it was Warm Out / 05/05/2016 at 9:35pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy some frozen yogurt. I filled up a cup and the cashier rung it up. The total price was $6.92. I only had $5 in my wallet. So I gave her the $5 bill and went to my car to get more money. Little did I know, there was no money in my car. So I drove off. Leaving the $5 behind. FML

by Broke Bitch / 05/05/2016 at 5:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML

by Anon. / 05/05/2016 at 5:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML

by woxliuke / 05/05/2016 at 2:44pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Love

Today, my 4 year-old grand-daughter let her pet rabbit loose in the yard, while my 2 year-old grandson was trying to climb on a chair, then a table. I had to choose between catching the rabbit before it ran under the fence, or saving my grandson from falling on the concrete terrace. FML

by arianelagolden / 05/05/2016 at 2:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Animals

jen1097's comment : Obviously your grandson would come first? How is that a choice?

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Today, I was out shopping with my son and unbeknownst to me, he had secretly added a bunch of expensive games he wanted to the trolley. I was too embarrassed at the till to make a fuss as there was a huge line behind me. I watched as my normal £50 shopping bill climbed to over £400. FML

by pissed off mother / 05/05/2016 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Money

smokecloud_'s comment : Here's an idea. Put the damn games back and discipline your kid.

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Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

by Marcipaud / 05/05/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous