By Deadpool - 16/7/2019 21:11 - United States - Weaverville Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter and I during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML I agree, your life sucks 490 You deserved it 29 2 0 17 1 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/7/2019 04:00 Today, I ran into an old friend, and she asked me how I was doing. I replied, "Still alive!" like I always do. I forgot both of her parents recently passed away. FML I agree, your life sucks 346 You deserved it 139 23 1 7 3 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cannachick - 17/7/2019 02:00 Today, I found out how messed up I am when a guy held a knife to my throat and it turned me on. FML I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 107 6 0 13 34 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cyrah - 16/7/2019 18:15 - United States Today, I got rejected from participating in a depression study that provides free medication, for not already being on antidepressants. That's because I can't afford health insurance or medication, which is why I applied to the study. FML I agree, your life sucks 873 You deserved it 59 24 2 10 4 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 22:30 Today, I watched a customer open a bottle of salad dressing, taste it, then just put it back on the shelf. FML I agree, your life sucks 698 You deserved it 50 6 1 60 3 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gary - 16/7/2019 20:30 Today, after countless failed rejections and derision from women, I've realized that the only time I experience any sort of happiness is when I'm eating. They say there's someone out there for all of us, but maybe that's not true. FML I agree, your life sucks 688 You deserved it 111 72 3 5 5 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meow - 16/7/2019 18:30 Today, I found out my boss hired literally the only person in this town who is an ex-boyfriend. I also work with my current boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 765 You deserved it 99 9 2 9 28 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alan - 16/7/2019 18:00 The War Against MLMs: Funny Examples of Scams and Responses. Unless you've been living on the Moon, someone has probably tried to drag you into a pyramid scheme, claiming it isn't a pyramid scheme.... 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck your music - 16/7/2019 07:30 - United States - Hesperia Today, I finally got tired of my neighbors constantly blaring their obnoxious rap music all hours of the day and night. Trying to be funny, I put Baby Shark on a loop and turned my speakers all the way up. They called the cops on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 863 You deserved it 207 4 6 2 97 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 14:30 Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 903 You deserved it 93 35 1 14 10 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mean mommy - 16/7/2019 12:30 Today, I was hosting a slumber party for my daughter, but I ended it abruptly and demanded that every child be picked up. Several pissed off parents and a sobbing daughter later, I’m the most hated. I made them leave after 2 of the girls bragged about losing their virginity. They’re 12. FML I agree, your life sucks 827 You deserved it 1174 69 5 75 16 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rert - 16/7/2019 06:00 Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 988 You deserved it 67 16 0 46 9 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML - 16/7/2019 05:18 Relatable. I agree, your life sucks 334 You deserved it 43 5 0 0 30 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By machina - 16/7/2019 04:01 Today, I approached my mother for comfort, because I've been feeling depressed and unloved by anyone lately. She replied, “Honestly, I stopped loving you back when you were a toddler.” FML I agree, your life sucks 1379 You deserved it 73 90 1 88 16 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 02:01 Today, I realized my boyfriend's family love and respect me more than my own family. FML I agree, your life sucks 1066 You deserved it 79 61 12 12 9 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/7/2019 00:01 Today, I went in for I thought would be an interview for a promotion, but turns out there was no interview set up, and they'd already decided who would be the next manager. FML I agree, your life sucks 1035 You deserved it 68 51 1 7 3 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SquirrellyGirl - 15/7/2019 22:00 Today, my brother asked if I could babysit his kids tomorrow. I declined, as tomorrow is my birthday and I have plans. This isn't the first time he's forgotten my birthday, and I doubt it'll be the last. FML I agree, your life sucks 1156 You deserved it 66 43 2 12 16 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By peapapeanut - 15/7/2019 20:06 Today, after months of my best friend telling me we were going to be roommates and moving to a new city together, with me trusting her, she ditched me because “everyone” told her not to live with me. She’s still moving, and we’re going to be in the same school and class. FML I agree, your life sucks 1137 You deserved it 85 47 1 26 8 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/7/2019 18:00 Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML I agree, your life sucks 604 You deserved it 1620 23 2 6 165 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Melissa Barrios - 15/7/2019 16:00 Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML I agree, your life sucks 1200 You deserved it 122 2 4 15 111 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/7/2019 14:00 Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML I agree, your life sucks 1426 You deserved it 234 11 2 127 30 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Birthday1313 - 15/7/2019 12:10 Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML I agree, your life sucks 1076 You deserved it 95 5 2 4 120 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UniqueKay - 15/7/2019 06:06 Today, on our way home, my cousin, step dad and I noticed a man trying to kidnap a young girl. As good citizens, we called the police so they could catch the man. Nine police cars showed up at my house because dispatch told them we were the kidnappers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1472 You deserved it 89 10 3 111 29 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Divorcee - 15/7/2019 04:02 Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1817 You deserved it 170 48 3 149 17 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rissalynn - 15/7/2019 02:00 Today, my boyfriend's mother called me lazy. Her days consist of sitting on her couch watching Fox News. I'm a college athlete who also has a part-time job, yet I'm the lazy one. FML I agree, your life sucks 1382 You deserved it 107 26 3 25 59 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thedeadone - 15/7/2019 00:01 Today, I found the phone number of my biological mother after years of searching for her, and gave her a call. I introduced myself by name and said, "I'm your daughter." There was a pause at the other end, followed by, "The one I aborted or the one I gave away?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1776 You deserved it 140 32 5 141 78 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hunta331 - 14/7/2019 22:00 Today, I learned just how bad jellyfish stings hurt. Multiple times. On my testicles. FML I agree, your life sucks 1471 You deserved it 157 5 2 122 56 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - 14/7/2019 20:00 Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1411 You deserved it 206 22 3 34 78 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mystic Alan - 14/7/2019 18:00 FML's Weekly Horoscope - 14th of July 2019 Find out what bullshit the asshole stars and planets have in store for you this week! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/7/2019 16:00 Today, I got to wake up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "U got competition." FML I agree, your life sucks 1560 You deserved it 144 41 4 111 33 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, thats too common. He had to scratch my private area. It hurts. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 You deserved it 4 0 Comments
Today, at 5 am, I got a notice from my bank saying my account was 4800 in the negative. The reason? My internet provider accidentally drafted 5285 instead... I agree, your life sucks 49 You deserved it 3 0 Comments
Today, I found out how messed up I am when a guy held a knife to my throat and it turned me on. FML I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 107 4 Comments
Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due... I agree, your life sucks 903 You deserved it 93 3 Comments
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