Today, a worker at my company is running into traffic so much that we had to make it a rule that we would let him get hit. He's now claiming that we are abusing the youth we care for. We only found out he was doing this because he kept trying to get other youths to run into traffic with him. FML
Today, my partner once again didn't want to get out of bed until midday. We agreed that if she slept in that she would drive to the market in the afternoon. She then complained when her car was out of battery and she needed to sit in it in the heat until it could charge from jump starting. FML
Today, I told my dad that I will never forgive him for cheating on my mom, then I told my mom that she was weak and stupid for staying with him. They proceeded to inform me that I'm no longer welcome in their home until I learn to forgive. FML
Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML
Today, I have spent years and thousands of pounds going to a therapist who never made me feel better about myself, then I had a 30 minute conversation with Google Gemini and I’ve not felt this good in years. All that money wasted when I should have just stayed indoors talking to my computer. FML
Today, after 39 years, I finally managed to stop picking my nails using psychological techniques I read about. Several months in, I'm actually using nail clippers like a normal person. Naturally, one nail grew in wrong, and now I have a painful ingrown nail on the index finger of my dominant hand. FML
Today, while I was hanging out with friends, a new girl joined us. One of my friends asked how therapy was going, as I’ve been working through childhood trauma for years. New girl launched into an angry rant about therapy and psychology. Turns out she’s a die-hard/staunch Scientologist. She wanted me to join her church. FML
PepsiCan7758 tells us more.
OP here. It got so bad, I had to block her on Facebook. She was a friend of a friend from our group. She just kept sending me messages on courses on "Dianetics". I tried to explain to her, that 1. Thanks, but no. I'm glad it worked for you, but I don't think it's for me (I did try to be polite as possible.) 2. I've been seeing my therapist, for over 3 years now, and I believe I've made some progress in my recovery. Apparently, over WhatsApp-she was not part of our group chat, I wasn't the only one she did this to. We had to tell our friend-who introduced New Girl to our group, we don't want her around anymore. She makes us feel very uncomfortable, with her views and beliefs. Friend to New Girl-decided to end their friendship, I think she saw New Girl as "unhinged".
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my wife brought a puppy home; no biggie, we already have two dogs we love and cherish, but for some reason I seem to be violently allergic to this one. Unfortunately my wife seems more willing to let me suffocate to death than to rehome the puppy. FML
Today, my friends and I were walking home from school, and were talking about our favourite character's death. Then, I jokingly said, "Imagine if someone just shot me in the head right now…'' When I said it, some random bullet fired and hit the upcoming pavement ahead of us. FML
Today, my Mom and I planned on using Uber or Lyft to visit her during the holidays since her car got repossessed and I don't have one myself. I have no way of knowing how much either way is going to cost me because they insist on me making an account before they can even give me an estimate. FML
Today, I was trying to be nice and befriend this loner at work. He was new and thought why not, he seems lonely and I’d love a gay best friend at work. I’m HR and he’s a peer coordinator. Everything I told him about me, he gossiped to his team. Now I have a meeting with my HR director.. FML
Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML
Today, my best friend, who I secretly love, confessed to me. Not that she loves me too, but that she started eating meat again to make her douchebag boyfriend happy and that it's incredible. We met and bonded at a vegan group in school. FML
Today, my aunt told my dad I’m always complaining about him behind his back, so my dad decided from now on he’s not giving me any help with anything, even though I rely on him a lot. I’ve never once badmouthed my dad, ever, and I don’t know what I did to my aunt to turn her into a shit-stirrer. FML
Today, the skin-picking disorder that I’ve had under control for a long time came back with a vengeance. I’m ashamed and embarrassed of how I look now, but the worst part was realizing that the time I spent picking was the most I’ve enjoyed anything in years. FML
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
Today, the most spoiled, entitled, clueless little princess decided to join my support group at college. We tried to be welcoming and understanding, but her biggest complaint was literally not getting a car for her high school graduation. I can’t take her seriously. FML
Today, my eldest son decided he’s a vegan now. My wife is a tomboy deer hunter, so she announced to our other four kids we are all vegan until the eldest changes his mind. It has been two full days of teenage sibling guerrilla warfare in our house. Plus, the food is tasteless shit. FML
Today, on the one-year anniversary of my adoption, my adoptive parents are going through an extremely nasty divorce and custody battle. I think I was better off in foster care. FML
Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at school. The girl next to me asked for a pad. I gave one to her. I didn't think much of it. The last lesson, I went to the bathroom again and went to a stall to play games on my phone. The same girl goes into the stall next to me, slides a used bloody pad, and says, "Thank you." FML
Today, my dad refuses to honor the agreement he made with my grandparents to send me to live with them if he ever got remarried after my mom died. I can't run away because then he'd call the police. FML
Today, my friends started sharing art of that gender-bent Malfoy with the offensive name in our Discord server. I was very upset by this and politely asked them to stop. They argued with me and I started crying and left the chat. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, years of talks and months of family therapy, paid for out of my pocket, with my wife and mother-in-law, amounted to nothing. My brother-in-law, who skipped it, gets to stay unemployed while my 72 year-old mother-in-law lets him drain her finances to take a community college math class and build Star Wars dioramas. He's 36. FML
Today, my mom is threatening to take me to court to get the entirety of my dad's $1 million inheritance. She told me that she's entitled to it because she recently got scammed out of all her life savings. I can't afford a lawyer. FML
Today, and ever since I came out as gay, my parents have become extremely overprotective and paranoid. Whenever I complain, they tell me that they don't want me to end up like Matthew Shepard and I don't even know who the hell that is. They pulled me out of school, made me close my social media and everything. FML
Today, we were meeting my husband's colleagues for dinner. I wore a dress which my husband had bought for me earlier this year. I was feeling good until he took one look and said, "Nope. Go change. It doesn't look good and appropriate for the dinner." I had to change. So much for trying to have some body positivity… FML
Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML
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