All the FMLs

Whiplash

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 03:00

Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 2

Harsh but fair

By Singlemamma - 05/02/2026 00:00

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 120

No fun allowed

By Elyri - 04/02/2026 22:00

Today, my husband came home and groped my ass, so I tossed cold water into his face to make him back off. He's now acting like I sprayed him with toxic acid waste now. What a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 233

Just take your food, lady

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 20:00

Today, my DoorDash account, which is my primary source of income, has been suspended. I got another ridiculous complaint from some overly sensitive Karen because she saw my three dogs in the car while I was delivering. It’s not like my babies were touching the food or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 327

Tonight, on First Dates…

By John_Elvis - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 511

You deserved it 3 565

Settled

By Just good enough - 04/02/2026 15:00

Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 45

One time thing

By Sofia - 04/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out I’m pregnant. My fiancé was beaming with joy. However, I’m not sure if he’s the father because I recently had hate sex/quickie with my ex-boyfriend, who is also my coworker. I wish the Earth would swallow me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 696

Idiot

By Father of a moron - 04/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 70

Ouroboros

By TheSuregeon - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 318

You deserved it 5 992

Picky eater

By Chez - 04/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 67

RIP

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 00:00

Today, someone took a shit on my father’s gravestone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 43

Chilly

By Bloody tp - 03/02/2026 22:00

Today, I had to spend five days at work, as we were expecting a snow storm and my position must be staffed at all times. My boss stocked the fridges with food, which sounds nice, but it was all frozen dinners and junk food. I've had so much diarrhea that my asshole is chapped and bleeds when I wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 58

Three piss suite

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 316

Assumptions

By Bellend - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 655

You deserved it 43 202

Baller

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 15:00

Today, I went to a coffee shop with the change I got back after buying a ball. After having waited in line for around twenty minutes, I was told that only credit cards were allowed. I'd left my wallet in my car because I thought I didn't need it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 106

Ironic if true

By Nononono - 03/02/2026 09:00

Today, I made a move on a male friend that I’ve been crushing on and he rejected me saying we should just stay friends. I told him that he was so mean. He replied, “How am I mean? I’m just not that into you, just like you’re just not that into our friend who worships the ground you walk on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 879

E.R.

By alephnull - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 378

You deserved it 3 181

Sibling rivalry

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 03:00

Today, my siblings canceled my birthday LUNCH that THEY planned FOR ME while MID-LUNCH at a different place WITHOUT ME. They decided that my birthday should just be done two weeks later ON MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY. I feel discarded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 75

Setup

By Lenore - 03/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. My husband said we should “adapt, not panic” and brought lubricant from the garage. It had a skull warning on it. Apparently I married an engineer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 72

Scap

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mum got annoyed and screamed that I should appreciate her more, all because I had to get my car scrapped and wouldn't let her friend who'd offered me 100 pounds less than another scrapper. I'm broke and we're in a cost of living crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 53

Just to be on the safe side

By Lenore - 02/02/2026 20:00

Today, we live in a tiny trailer. My doctor said I have celiac disease. My dad, who takes things too literally, came back with gluten-free dog food. I don’t even have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 54

Cherry on top

By thetallone - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would've run that one over." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 866

You deserved it 2 736

Bonkers inlaws

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 15:00

Today, my husband and I returned from a much needed weekend away. I found out that during that time, his weird ass parents tried to force our daughter to do one of those creepy virginity pledges, complete with a “purity” ring ceremony. She’s literally 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 57

Quibbles

By Damn, Apple Worshippers! - 02/02/2026 12:00

Today, my dad's girlfriend's adult son not only questions, but also mocks and spits on my poor choices in life. All because I got an ROG 9 Pro rather than an iPhone. He claims his iPhone 12 is far more superior, brandishing its features biblically while pointing out the flaws of mine like blasphemy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 90

Who, me?

By Drive - 02/02/2026 09:00

Today, I waved at someone I thought was waving at me in my delivery truck. They weren’t. They were stretching. I still finished the wave and gave a thumbs-up because quitting felt worse. We locked eyes. I have to deliver to the same building again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 169

Cartoonish

By mr_dinzaster - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 2 192

Hard work

By Maths - 02/02/2026 03:00

Today, I was helping my kid with homework after work. I tried to Google “third grade long division explained simply.” Autocomplete filled in “because I don’t understand it either,” which I read out loud without thinking. My kid stared at me and said, “So… who’s teaching who?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 307

Helper

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 00:00

Today, a customer asked if we sold gift cards, and I confidently walked them to the rack... that had probably been empty for weeks. I stood there too long pretending to “look” while the customer waited politely. Eventually I said something dumb like, “We used to believe in them.” FM

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 294

Music nerd

By Anonymous - 01/02/2026 22:00

Today, I asked my crush what music he was into, misheard his answer because of background noise, so I spent 5 minutes enthusiastically talking about a band he'd never heard of, thinking we were bonding. When he finally stopped me and clarified, I laughed too loudly out of shame, then knocked over my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 148

Namaste

By Old and tired - 01/02/2026 20:00

Today, finally joined a yoga class to “stay flexible” as a retiree. I followed along until we did a pose involving balance. I fell sideways into a stack of foam blocks and knocked over the instructor like gentle dominoes. Everyone was kind, but now I get assigned the chair automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 66

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 169

You deserved it 834

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 978

You deserved it 6 547

Today, as something cute to do, my boyfriend and I dressed as Snow White and the Prince so we could photograph the moment he kisses me and I wake up. He thought it would be funny to use his penis, so now there’s a picture of us dressed up with my dumb self kissing his penis with my eyes closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 1 402

Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 427

You deserved it 724

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 252

You deserved it 4 680

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 20 590