Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Darts : A player accused of farting to distract his opponent

This guy may have invented the perfect cheat, invisible and untraceable.

By FML team - / Monday 19 November 2018 16:00 / France - Paris

Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML

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By shinymcface - / Monday 19 November 2018 14:00 /

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

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You deserved it

By SonofMnemosyne - / Monday 19 November 2018 07:30 / United States

Today, I no longer need an alarm clock. My cat has learned to jump on my boobs at precisely 7:30 every morning. If I don't get up immediately, she just keeps jumping on my boobs. I'm an E cup. FML

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You deserved it

By Elizabeth Ann - / Monday 19 November 2018 12:00 /

The Top 15 Funniest Tweets Of The Week

Here are our favorite funny tweets from this week. Enjoy!

By Tweety Bird - / Monday 19 November 2018 06:11 /

Today, I signed for a delivery for my mom and something inside started to vibrate. I can't leave it because if she gets home and it's still vibrating she'll know I know what it is, but if I open it to turn it off, she'll know I've opened it and know what it is. Someone help me. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 19 November 2018 05:00 /

Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML

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You deserved it

By Oops - / Sunday 18 November 2018 21:00 / United States

Cat Fail

He disappeared like this weekend!

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By FML Videos - / Sunday 18 November 2018 18:00 / United States - New York

Today, I needed some contact lens solution, so I left my room to look in my sister's room to see if she had any. I walked in to see my mom sucking my dad off on her bed. They didn't see me so I walked away, but the image is engraved in my mind forever now. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 18 November 2018 22:00 /

Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML

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You deserved it

By jacie - / Sunday 18 November 2018 15:30 /

Today, I made a frustrating discovery about my new bunny. He can’t stand the fan in my small studio apartment, and thumps angrily and refuses to sleep if it's on. I can’t sleep with it off. FML

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You deserved it

By Lane - / Sunday 18 November 2018 14:00 /

World

United Kingdom

Today, my partner heard the cat about to puke and shoved her off the bed. I found this out in the morning. With my foot. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 18 November 2018 12:30 / United Kingdom - Maidenhead

Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 18 November 2018 12:00 /

Today, while buying Red Dead Redemption 2, the cashier spoiled the ending. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 18 November 2018 05:00 /

Here Are The Top 10 Comments Of The Week!

So many comments, so little time. Check out our favorites!

By Chairman Meow - / Saturday 17 November 2018 22:00 / United States - New York

World

United Kingdom

Today, I sharted. While I was naked. Standing on a new carpet in my girlfriend's bedroom. In front of my girlfriend. FML

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You deserved it

By SSS - / Sunday 18 November 2018 02:00 / United Kingdom - London

Today, I accidentally bought an audio book through iBooks for $40 AUD. I'm deaf. FML

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Sady_Ct Say more :

I do know what an audio book is. I thought I clicked on the ebook and only after I went to open it did I realise it wasn’t an Ebook but an audio book. They didn’t have the same title in the ebook. I got a refund after a couple of days.

By Sady_Ct - / Saturday 17 November 2018 19:07 / Australia

Today, while enjoying a lovely 80 degree day, I returned from a 2-hour bike ride to find my truck window smashed. The only thing taken was my change of clothes. My insurance company says it'll cost $1000 to replace the window. I feel like I got robbed twice. FML

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acmariner99 Say more :

OP here. Yeah, 1k is what the insurance company told me. I knew it was a ripoff and found a local repair shop to fix the window for ... much less than that. I am not sure what the thieves saw in a bag of grubby shorts and a t-shirt, but that’s what they took. And why the f am listed as being in Indianapolis, I live nowhere near there. LOL.

By acmariner99 - / Saturday 17 November 2018 18:35 / United States - Indianapolis

Whiny Husky

But moooooooom...

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By FML Videos - / Sunday 18 November 2018 00:00 /

Today, I went to see my new boyfriend play in a band. I found out that groupies don't like even bass players having girlfriends. I was attacked by one because he smiled at me from the stage. FML

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You deserved it

By Dgama - / Saturday 17 November 2018 16:00 / United States - Baltimore

Today, my boiler packed up on me just as the weather has turned cold, with no money to have it fixed. Hello to a week of freezing cold showers. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 17 November 2018 17:30 /

Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML

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You deserved it

By therapygal - / Saturday 17 November 2018 15:30 /

Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML

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You deserved it

By Scapegoat - / Saturday 17 November 2018 13:30 /

Today, my husband threw away the cast iron skillet my family has cooked with for generations because it had some specks of rust that were perfectly fixable. My 5th great-grandfather had that skillet in 1890 when he was a chuck wagon driver for the cowboys during their cattle drives. FML

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By family heirloom gone - / Saturday 17 November 2018 12:00 /

Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML

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By LifeSucks - / Saturday 17 November 2018 05:00 /

Wasted Robots

Embarrassingly accurate. Cheers!

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By FML Videos - / Saturday 17 November 2018 00:30 /

Woman Arrested For Not Holding Escalator Handrail Gets Her Day In Court

When does a suggestion become a rule?

By Gloria Borger - / Friday 16 November 2018 23:00 /

Today, I finally spent the night with a new guy after recently ending a 3-year toxic relationship. The new guy disappeared for 2 hours in the middle of the night, then came back to bed. Turns out he was busy snogging my housemate. I really choose them well. FML

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By Nutty - / Friday 16 November 2018 22:00 /

King of the Jungle

What would Mufasa think?!

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By FML Videos - / Friday 16 November 2018 12:30 / United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML

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You deserved it

By lyss - / Friday 16 November 2018 10:30 / United States - New Prague

They are humans !

		Nickname
		kazuwela
		aspr
		hm55
		cesaire33
		hyperion77
		Léa Foulon
		Lucillei
		jellysart
		maaaag
		babyonemoretime

Game Ranking

End of game in

Zombie

#	Nickname	Bites
1	whatshername?!	533
2	MysteryGuitarMan	447
3	im365sostressed	7
4	CaseyR	4
5	pageelovelyy	0
6	ifckinghateurn	0
7	Basil_Balslamic	0
8	Spitsy	0
9	lindsayyy18	0
10	swilli24	0
#	Total	991

vampire

#	Nickname	Bites
1	newbiemalestr8	3062
2	BadAtPuns	1579
3	Ashamed_Sister	1000
4	abigiggles	220
5	hellsingthecreator93	183
6	Dave_Davington	135
7	EclipticaLibra	123
8	Vaella	81
9	Callyn	49
10	xsandra	45
#	Total	6788

werewolf

#	Nickname	Bites
1	MrGoesNuts	1641
2	tinyme2	70
3	Taurus_ChicKa	50
4	thisisbutaname	40
5	ЗАБЕРИТЕ 12 000 РУБ ЗДЕСЬ www.mnogodenehj.cf T6OUO	0
6	ЗАБЕРИТЕ 12 000 РУБ ЗДЕСЬ www.mnogodenegl.gq rzbRR	0
7	yourmom2007	0
8	Smitty0808	0
9	pizzaisgood805	0
10	Anaisjames24	0
#	Total	1801