All the FMLs

Dark times

By anaph0re - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 732

You deserved it 21 553

Fight!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 108

Oddly specific insomnia

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, the power went out. Thankfully, it was early in the morning so I should've been able to sleep through it. Then I realized I have an impossible time sleeping during power outages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 29

Entitled coworkers

By Fuck meat eaters - 04/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, my coworker brings in meat for lunch every single day and eats it at his desk. I'm a vegan and the smell makes me feel sick for hours. The management won't reprimand him or move either of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 649

Hermit time

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Holly Springs

Today, I’ve been divorced for six years. Dating is in the toilet, and so far my options are short, emotionally unavailable, or married. At this point, I’d like a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 172

Bye!

By mysterygurll1234567 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 920

You deserved it 3 748

What did I do this time?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Dover

Today, it's been 3 weeks since my girlfriend of 5 years stopped answering any calls or texts. I sent her a long email for closure (for me) only to get a response that she's on vacation. I had no idea she was going away and I don't know what I did. Time to get another dog and be done with "love" for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 49

The cat owner dance

By Anon - 04/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 61

We meet again

By BunniesOnAcid - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Clinton

Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 121

You deserved it 4 196

Petrolhead

By Whoopsie - 04/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally found a parking space directly outside my apartment after driving around for 20 minutes. I celebrated, parked, and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my car running with the keys still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 269

Hot mic

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and spent the time quietly complaining about one of my coworkers to my friend. When the meeting started, I realized my microphone had been on the entire time. Said coworker was the first person to say hello. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 410

Jumpy

By jumpscare - 03/09/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after I accidentally put my headphones through the washing machine and then drying them out, they somehow still worked, but only in one ear. I was about to accept my fate when the other side suddenly started playing audio at full volume during a quiet train ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 94

Sweet

By f_ck_U - 03/09/2026 20:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, I returned to my sweet home after a two-month cozy vacation full of good memories, only to find that the place was sweet no more and had turned into a bug and mold-infested Petri dish uninhabitable for any living creature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 126

Dollar cut

By yosmurf - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my son proudly announced to me that he has been learning to cut out shapes at school, and that he'd cut out some ovals and wanted to show me. He showed me the pictures of Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and Jackson, and their corresponding bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 101

You deserved it 335

Happy ******* birthday

By Anonymous - 03/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on my birthday, I worked overtime because I haven’t celebrated my birthday in years. I got out of work and found a bunch of hate filled voicemails from my mom about missing my surprise party. She has never thrown me a party in my life; in fact I haven’t spoken to my mom in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 58

Advice wanted in the comments

By Why Did I choose to live? - 03/09/2026 12:00 - Germany

Today, my husband claimed that his brother is a changed man and that I'm the bitch for not forgetting. Said brother tortured me mentally and forced me into depression to the point of suicide multiple times. It took me four years to breathe normally after he moved out. Why am I married still? AITA? FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 81

GOT brain

By Anonymous - 03/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a cute Scottish guy from Tinder, who kept on referring to himself as "FROM THE NORTH" like he thought he was in Game of Thrones or something. I like the show too, but I sure didn’t appreciate being called a "SOFT SOUTHERNER" when I talked about being born in Plymouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 97

Bold move

By GotMyBitchBack - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 833

You deserved it 3 078

Hetero blues

By Anonymous - 03/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I have a major crush on my coworker and I hate it because he's s gay and happily married to another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 278

You make a good point

By Donguri29 - 02/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Feasterville

Today, I (Male, 37) realized how peaceful my life was without social media involved. Why did I not do this before, back when I was in high school at the age of 17 by saving myself the anger and stress of toxic social media users? Looks like I'll never get those 20 years of my life back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 251

Timeless

By Cindell - 02/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, I overheard my younger coworkers discussing my age. They said, “How old is she? Some days she looks like she's 35 and other days she looks like she's 58!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 80

Acting out

By itsgotime - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 650

You deserved it 7 973

Grudge

By Anonymous - 02/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, it’s like we’re living the dumbest most petty version of Romeo and Juliet ever. My daughter’s boyfriend’s father forced his son to break up with her because the dad and I dated for a year way back in high school. I left him for another guy and apparently he never got over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 100

Gullible's travels

By Anonymous - 02/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my husband is convinced that he inherited a house in Florida and wants us to move there. I cannot convince him that it's clearly an internet scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 70

Cool your boots, Janet

By Don'tComplimentTheCrazies - 02/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, HR wants to see me about an email where my boss asks me to respect her body. My offense? I asked if she bought a new shirt during a web meeting with our small team. We've worked together for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 66

Cheer up!

By wintersoldier - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 267

You deserved it 2 438

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Taunton

Today, I realized I've fallen for my best friend. Private conversations suggest she feels the same, but around others she dismisses love as "stupid". I don't want things to become awkward, but I feel like I should walk away instead of burying my feelings to maintain the friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 113

Not going back

By FHL too. - 02/09/2026 00:00 - Mexico

Today, I found my ex on Bumble for the second time. She lives with her husband, whom she married a decade ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 93

Eco friendly

By People who litter should be confronted - 01/09/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was on a walk when I saw a man dump a bag of trash into the creek. Furious, I shouted at him, and when he shoved me, I threw him into the creek. Later, I was arrested and charged with battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 203

Heavy machinery

By Anonymous - 01/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Swedesboro

Today, I picked up a 7lb stick vacuum like I do regularly, except this time it caused a disc in my spine to slip and pinch a nerve and now I can't walk right or sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 61

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 3 329

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 421

You deserved it 4 030

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 145

You deserved it 29 352

Today, I was having dinner with some friends at an Applebee's. I couldn't decide on what I wanted, and after about 10 minutes of me flipping through the menu, our waiter brings over the braille menu complete with gigantic pictures of all the dishes and says, "Here, I thought this might help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 163

You deserved it 46 687

Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 60

Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 172