By too proud to beg - 23/9/2020 02:02 Basic Instinct Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic affection like hugging and kissing. His response? "Oh." FML I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 7 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jason McGinnis - 22/9/2020 16:51 - Canada - Brampton That'll be Kevin in accounting Today, just like every other day, my company is so dysfunctional that local food chains require us to pay cash up front for our catering, because we routinely take 6 months or more to pay for a chicken sandwich. FML I agree, your life sucks 226 You deserved it 27 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TimeWasted - 22/9/2020 14:04 - United States - Tallahassee Out of the frying pan Today, after I got hired on at a new job with perfect hours and pay, worked my two-week notice at my old job, now one week into new job, they let me go because they’re overstaffed and I’m the newest hire. FML I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 18 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/9/2020 17:01 Negotiations Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML I agree, your life sucks 250 You deserved it 166 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sara - 22/9/2020 07:54 - Canada Don't feed the animals Today, I had to clean up dirt from flipped-over flowerpot mess for the 100th time. Why? Because the neighbour won’t stop feeding the squirrels peanuts. FML I agree, your life sucks 408 You deserved it 73 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pat - 22/9/2020 04:01 - United States - Buffalo New relations Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML I agree, your life sucks 617 You deserved it 26 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/9/2020 07:02 - United Kingdom People have lists?! Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 721 You deserved it 66 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By West of the day - 22/9/2020 05:01 Forever Alone Today, I've been feeling horny a lot lately, so I downloaded Tinder and subscribed to Tinder Gold. The only matches I've had are with bots and people saying 'subscribe to my Instagram for premium content.' FML I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 154 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/9/2020 02:02 Preventive measures Today, I was minding my own business when the guy I have a crush on sat down next to me at work, explained that he heard that I had a crush on him and that he was flattered, but that we should "be friends" because I'm a "nice girl". I was rejected by someone I didn't even pursue. FML I agree, your life sucks 804 You deserved it 71 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 17:02 - United States Not now, 2020 Today, I found out I have endometriosis… Which doesn't mix well with a horny boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 692 You deserved it 54 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By counterproductive - 21/9/2020 11:01 - United States Intense Today, after I'd finally decided to see a doctor about my anxiety and insomnia, I was so nervous about what the doctor would think of me that I had anxiety attacks that kept me from sleeping a wink all night. I ended up oversleeping and missing the appointment I was so nervous about. FML I agree, your life sucks 798 You deserved it 131 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 11:01 - Canada Smoked Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML I agree, your life sucks 607 You deserved it 57 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 13:58 My new friend Today, I realized at the train station that every day for a month, I've been waving to a cardboard cut-out of a person in the morning. I thought they were real. They're cardboard. FML I agree, your life sucks 620 You deserved it 301 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 09:05 - United Kingdom - Exeter Can't get no… Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML I agree, your life sucks 793 You deserved it 154 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Vehophobic - 21/9/2020 07:05 - United Kingdom - Hounslow Not a car person Today, my grandfather called me for the first time since lockdown. Just like the last 3 times we spoke, he tried to pressure me into learning to drive, despite my making it clear that it absolutely terrifies me. He won't stop asking. FML I agree, your life sucks 592 You deserved it 422 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justanidiot - 20/9/2020 22:01 - United States - Macon Vibe check Today, I've been getting weird vibes from my boyfriend of over a year and half, so I made a fake Tinder account. Guess who my first match was? My now ex-boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 911 You deserved it 115 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Schuyler Davis - 21/9/2020 02:01 You're fired! Today, my employer fired me, less than a week before I could become permanent full-time staff. FML I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 76 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 17:00 - United States Mr. Burns Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML I agree, your life sucks 682 You deserved it 342 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By parenting fail - 20/9/2020 11:01 - United States A teenage dream's so hard to beat… Today, my stepdaughter proudly showed off her new tattoo. It says "Jace’s place" in sloppy script on her lower belly. She’s 15. Jace is a boy she’s been seeing for 3 months. She got the tattoo in "some guy’s garage." It happened during her weekend visit with her father. Hello teenage rebellion. FML I agree, your life sucks 1317 You deserved it 115 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 17:00 - United Stated - Portland Stormy weather Today, I was about to have sex with my long-term boyfriend, when it started to rain. He was so interested in the storm that he left me half naked to look outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 833 You deserved it 173 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By morningbirdie - 20/9/2020 14:01 Drunk level: 2000 Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML I agree, your life sucks 875 You deserved it 52 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 10:07 Tell, don't show Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 366 You deserved it 1268 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 02:02 - United States - Arlington Always ask for documentation Today, the guy I met on Tinder texted me about our date tomorrow. He seemed nervous. I come to find out his mom overheard us talking on the phone and wants to meet me. I said OK, that’s not big deal. That’s when he told me that he’s actually 17. I now hate myself because I’m 26. FML I agree, your life sucks 1106 You deserved it 166 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 23:03 - Canada Fucking Facebook memories Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1315 You deserved it 90 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 17:02 - United States - San Mateo What's up, doc? Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML I agree, your life sucks 729 You deserved it 177 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 23:01 They're everywhere Today, I started a new job. I was in a meeting, all day, training under a guy. This was the same middle-class-gravyboat guy who has no idea what he's doing, attributes things to false-positive root causes, and is defensive whenever someone knows more than him. I left my last job because of this type of guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 900 You deserved it 156 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 20:02 "Based on your purchase history…" Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 750 You deserved it 190 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 17:02 - Germany - Aachen This woman's work Today, I looked at pictures of myself from 20 years ago when I was a teenager and realized I have only about a quarter of my hair left. I'm a woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 929 You deserved it 61 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mala_19 - 19/9/2020 14:02 - Sweden The joy of newborn babies Today, after I, my fiance, and the doctors tried all day to get my son to eat for more than just three minutes straight, he decided to eat for thirty minutes straight in the middle of the night when I just wanted to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 817 You deserved it 174 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brainfart - 19/9/2020 10:01 Where is my mind? Today, I was put on a medication for severe migraines. One of the side effects is difficulty concentrating and word recall. I was writing a paper and sat there trying to remember how to spell "isn't." This medication better work. FML I agree, your life sucks 902 You deserved it 60 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, after three years of no dates in high school, a guy asked me to Homecoming. After I said yes, he laughed. "As if, nerd!" His friend snuck behind... I agree, your life sucks 16 You deserved it 1 1 Comments
Today, I was reading a book about the early US Presidents at work. My overgrown child of a coworker saw the book and threw a fit, screaming into the phone... I agree, your life sucks 5 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic... I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 7 1 Comments
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 721 You deserved it 66 3 Comments