By sarah - 6/6/2020 20:00 Respect should be earned Today, while out in public, my stepmom turned and screamed at me for a good while for “walking through a door before an elder.” People stared. FML I agree, your life sucks 91 You deserved it 6 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kortnie Peterman - 6/6/2020 17:03 Body positivity Today, after 3 months of my boyfriend complaining his weight is making him not want sex, I suggested we go for a walk to help us both start to lose weight. He looked at me and said, "You're too fat to go walking." I'm beginning to think my weight is the problem here, not his. FML I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 31 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/6/2020 14:02 Always wear protective gear Today, while nailing a board down, I hit my thumb with the hammer. As I reached to console my throbbing finger, I dropped the hammer on my foot. When I went down to hold my foot, I smacked my head on the board. Now I've got a concussion, a smashed finger, and a bruised foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 351 You deserved it 122 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By username - 6/6/2020 08:04 Keep out Today, my social awkwardness got to an all-time high when I hoped that I wouldn't get the job that I applied for, because I'd be working with the public. FML I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 101 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gregm97 - 6/6/2020 05:03 Motel 6 to 9 Today, after my family and I returned to our motel after a long day trip, we saw that the room was made. As we were getting ready to sleep, I pulled my sheets back to find a large piece of crap smeared all over the bed. When we told the front desk about this, they told us to "fuck off." FML I agree, your life sucks 765 You deserved it 49 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/6/2020 02:00 Freak out Today, we ended the night with a yellow jacket queen trying to make a home in our apartment's kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 618 You deserved it 29 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cacheson - 5/6/2020 23:00 The Good Fight Today, my husband and roommate went out to protest for the second day in a row. I have an anxiety disorder, so I can't go. I’m just stuck here watching videos of the fires and violence, wondering if they will even come home. FML I agree, your life sucks 696 You deserved it 235 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mama bear - 5/6/2020 20:00 Fight Club Penguin Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 1224 You deserved it 88 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/6/2020 17:00 It's called fashion Dave, look it up! Today, my beautiful bride walked towards me in a dress that looked just like a ribbed condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 853 You deserved it 136 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DanJames24 - 5/6/2020 14:00 Family jewels Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 68 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fatty punani - 5/6/2020 08:00 Sexy is in the eye of the beholder Today, my husband thinks I stopped wearing underwear to be sexy. Truth is, I’ve gained so much weight during quarantine that even my granny panties no longer fit. FML I agree, your life sucks 828 You deserved it 378 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/6/2020 05:00 Manly men fighting Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML I agree, your life sucks 948 You deserved it 152 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By creepingjennie - 5/6/2020 02:00 Droopy Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 703 You deserved it 341 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Willow McGarrigle - 4/6/2020 23:00 Manipulation Today, my ex, who I only dated for 3 months, told me the only reason why he dated me was because he thought my sister was hot, and he just wanted to get closer to her. So thank you for that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1150 You deserved it 72 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By why lie - 4/6/2020 20:00 Age ain't nothing but a number Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML I agree, your life sucks 1776 You deserved it 303 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 17:00 Furry Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 1577 You deserved it 85 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By carey33 - 4/6/2020 14:15 Quite the catch Today, even though I’m having contractions, I’m still trying to clean up the house. My husband just got pissy with me because I was rolling the vacuum behind me instead of picking it up and carrying it to the closet. FML I agree, your life sucks 1386 You deserved it 133 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 08:00 Hard shoulder Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML I agree, your life sucks 1170 You deserved it 134 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 05:00 Issues Today, I woke up from a vivid dream in which I murdered my entire family. It took 20 minutes after waking up, drenched in sweat and tears, to realize I'm not a murderer and my life is OK. This dream is recurring. FML I agree, your life sucks 1325 You deserved it 87 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Galaxy-eyes photon human - 4/6/2020 02:00 Misery Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. The worst part is I’m currently stuck in his house and can’t even deal with a fight right now. Why? Because I just had surgery this morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 1357 You deserved it 81 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VoodooPriestess - 3/6/2020 23:00 Just a prank, bruh! Today, while looking at engagement rings online, I started crying. Not because I'm getting married, but because the only proposal scenario my mind could concoct always ended with my boyfriend saying,"Psych!" FML I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 232 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alan - 3/6/2020 20:00 The Best of the Worst of FML #89 Here's a selection of some of the worst, unpublishable FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep! 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/6/2020 17:00 Check this out Today, I ran downstairs to meet the Amazon driver and threw on a shirt in a rush. Only after he left did I realise it was my shirt with artful rips in the design and I'd forgot to put on a vest under it. I'd flashed the driver my entire right boob with nipple piercing through one of the holes. FML I agree, your life sucks 563 You deserved it 1261 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 3/6/2020 14:06 Stinky mom Today, my mom once again cried that I never come to visit her. I’ve tried, but her house is just unbearable. It’s always no less than 80°F inside, and she also refuses to clean up. She just burns multiple candles and air fresheners all day to mask the smell. She refuses any cleaning help I offer. FML I agree, your life sucks 1383 You deserved it 88 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/6/2020 08:00 All out in the open Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML I agree, your life sucks 1219 You deserved it 136 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoHipster - 3/6/2020 05:02 Crazy people Today, while I was waiting for a bus, a nutjob-looking dude walked up to me, then hissed, "You hipster scum, you don't even need those glasses," before forcibly removing them and snapping them in half. I was wearing regular clothes, and those prescription glasses cost me $500. FML I agree, your life sucks 1635 You deserved it 93 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kmjlevesque - 3/6/2020 02:00 Bye bye clothes Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1299 You deserved it 239 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blah - 2/6/2020 23:00 Exercise One Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML I agree, your life sucks 1557 You deserved it 272 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 20:00 Responsibilities Today, I got chewed out by my boss. Why? Because my coworkers haven't gotten their work done. Now I have to scan them their work for them to complete it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1094 You deserved it 82 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/6/2020 17:00 Strawberry surprise Today, my husband got home and shouted he had a surprise for me. I shouted back that I hoped it was his tasty knob with strawberry lube. Nope, he'd picked up my grandparents for a visit now social isolation is being relaxed. They might be in their 80’s but they’re not deaf, unfortunately. FML I agree, your life sucks 1280 You deserved it 568 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, after a week of plumbing issues finally got resolved. Our power box blew, all of our electronics are fucked DESPITE SURGE PROTECTORS and we won’t... I agree, your life sucks 6 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today I realized that my husband treats me like a roommate, including no sex in the last 2 months. How do I tell him how I feel without wrecking his self... I agree, your life sucks 4 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, after 3 months of my boyfriend complaining his weight is making him not want sex, I suggested we go for a walk to help us both start to lose weight.... I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 31 2 Comments
Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck).... I agree, your life sucks 1577 You deserved it 85 4 Comments
