FML : Your everyday life stories

Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Roselyn Cazares - / Sunday 23 July 2017 19:55 /

Top 20 Shitty Shark Movies To Get You Pumped For Shark Week

You’ve heard of Sharknado, but have you heard of the rest of these horrible movies? Starring in one of these is the FML-kiss of death...

By Nina - / Sunday 23 July 2017 16:00 /

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a hot British guy. He spent 90% of the date talking about his ex, but I invited him back to my place anyway. He came after 20 minutes of foreplay then left without even offering to get me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By milksquad - / Sunday 23 July 2017 13:00 /

Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent besides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anon - / Sunday 23 July 2017 05:00 /

FML Photo

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By FML Approved - / Saturday 22 July 2017 23:00 /

10 Ridiculous Parenting Fails That Prove Parents Don't Always Know Best

To quote the noble Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, "parents just don't understand." Apparently, that's true. Here are some parenting...

By Nina - / Saturday 22 July 2017 21:30 / France - Paris

Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I'm in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML

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You deserved it

By are you kidding me - / Saturday 22 July 2017 20:03 /

Only Hardcore Disney Fans Can Name All These Movies...Think You're One Of Them?

You've seen the movies, but how close were you paying attention? I guarantee you, these are way harder than you think. Name the movie...

By Nina - / Saturday 22 July 2017 16:00 / France - Paris

Today, my friend with benefits got my new car stuck in a mud hole. I had to call my ex to get us unstuck. FML

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You deserved it

By Seriously? - / Saturday 22 July 2017 13:54 /

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 22 July 2017 05:29 / United States - Irving

Japanese First Lady Gives Trump the Silent Treatment

He thought she couldn't speak a word of English, while she was thinking "FMyLife" and "F" this seating plan.

By Cali - / Saturday 22 July 2017 02:02 / France - Paris

Today, my prom date and his family came over to take pictures. His dad happens to be my mom's gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 22 July 2017 01:33 /

This Guy Mercilessly Destroys PETA, Exposes Hypocrisy on Twitter

What's more 'FML' than being sent to a kill shelter? You definitely won't want to donate to them again after reading this.

By Cali - / Friday 21 July 2017 21:29 / France - Paris

Top 10 Funniest Comments of the Week

Because sometimes the comments are better than the FMLs themselves. #3 got that song stuck in my head though! Grr…

By Nina - / Friday 21 July 2017 16:05 / France - Paris

Today, I learned that, even after several interviews and congratulations for getting the job, you still might not get the job. I just received an email stating that my accepted offer is now rejected. I already treated my close friends to an expensive dinner to celebrate. FML

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You deserved it

By LittleMissRejected - / Friday 21 July 2017 14:27 /

Today, I learned that there's a colony of bats living inside my walls. The devices to prevent them from reentering are angering those remaining inside, and now I can hear them scuttling and screeching in almost every wall and ceiling in my house. FML

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You deserved it

By BatIntoHell - / Friday 21 July 2017 05:58 / United States - Minneapolis

Today, an Asian man approached me and called me pretty. I thanked him and he asked if I'm Chinese. When I said, "No, I'm Taiwanese" he promptly spat in my face and called me a "traitor to the motherland." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Thursday 20 July 2017 23:00 / United States - Dover

Self-Proclaimed Drug Dealer Calls 911 to Report Missing Cocaine, Ends Up in Jail Because, Duh

How else could he have possibly expected this to end? This FML is brought to you by none other than, you guessed it, Florida Man.

By Nina - / Friday 21 July 2017 02:00 /

FML Photo

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 20 July 2017 23:01 / France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Internet Up In Arms Over Whitewashed Beyonce Wax Figure

Even for the most famous and revered woman in pop culture, FMLs are impossible to avoid, like when wax sculptors around the world attempt...

By Nina - / Thursday 20 July 2017 21:30 / France - Paris

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

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You deserved it

By TheDeathguard - / Thursday 20 July 2017 20:05 /

How to Deal with Despacito

Here's a little life hack for all you music lovers!

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 20 July 2017 18:37 /

Famous YouTuber Creates Hell for Neighbors, Doesn't Care

Jake Paul is Basically the Worst

By Cali - / Thursday 20 July 2017 16:00 /

Psssssych!

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

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You deserved it

By Welcome to Florida - / Thursday 20 July 2017 13:01 /

Today, I had to empty out my coin jar to pay for gas. Trying to be considerate, I only brought quarters, but the cashier refused to take it because they didn't want to count out my $10. I don't know how I'll get to work today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By BrokeAF - / Thursday 20 July 2017 05:01 /

10 FMLs About Three-Ways That Will Definitely Make You Cringe

Feeling frisky? Thinking about having a threesome? Well think long and hard (like my dick) before you do because three people means...

By Nina - / Thursday 20 July 2017 02:00 /

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Ruby Lore - / Thursday 20 July 2017 00:31 /

15+ Responses To ‘Aladdin’ Cast Picks in Twitter Tantrums

You’d think being cast in a leading role in a Disney film would be the highlight of your career, but you'd be forgetting about the...

By Nina - / Wednesday 19 July 2017 21:30 /

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By "Bianka05" - / Wednesday 19 July 2017 20:00 /

It's a dangerous day for our little friend...

It's National Hotdog Day!

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Wednesday 19 July 2017 18:54 /

FML

The Top

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of a bra he claimed I left at his house. I know every single bra I own, and it wasn't one of them, or so I thought....

Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table...

Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and...

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

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Nearly

Today, after half a year of hating my job and being depressed every morning going to work I finally got the guts to go to my boss quit. well... after a...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I saw a really cute girl at the store, and my heart skipped a beat. Then I realized I'm probably about twice her age. I got old fast. FML.

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You deserved it

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World

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Brazil

Today, or actually a couple days ago, I went to get a drink with a boy I like, accidentally got too drunk and remember nothing except that I decided to...

Italy

Today, I got into an accident in my girlfriend's car. While I was in the emergency room, crying from the pain, she reassured me, "don't worry, you can...

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Photos

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Spicy

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a hot British guy. He spent 90% of the date talking about his ex, but I invited him back to my place anyway. He came...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Spicy FMLs