All the FMLs

Found an out

By Anonymous - 19/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my husband filed for divorce because he discovered that we're actually fourth cousins. I tried to insist that means absolutely nothing, but he won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 6

Takes one to know one

By ironic driver - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 651

You deserved it 4 644

Kneading you

By Anonymous - 19/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I foolishly agreed to look after my mom's cat while she went on holiday, I woke up with her on my chest, and she must've been making biscuits on me in her sleep for hours because one of my boobs looks like it had an infectious skin disease that I tried to cut off with a grinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 30

Bye bye dinner

By 4FLuckSake - 19/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Washington

Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 63

Snitched

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, at my new job, my coworkers pranked me by moving around the things on my desk. I was horribly upset by it and reported them all to HR. Now no one will talk to me and I'm the office pariah within my first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 339

Never again

By Out bitch - 18/09/2026 20:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after much begging, I let my girlfriend try out my VR headset, despite knowing that she's quite clumsy. Five minutes later, she fell over and broke it. Later, I heard her laughing on the phone about breaking her boyfriend's stupid video game toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 63

Don't freak out

By spoton - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I sliced my finger on the register drawer. Not wanting to freak out my customer, I stuck my hand in my pocket and finished giving them change. Now I look like I period-bled through the front of my pants. Only 10 hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 942

You deserved it 918

Hope springs eternal

By notlovinit - 18/09/2026 15:00 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, it's been a day since I've went on a date with a girl I liked. She didn't contact me back, so I presumed that she wasn't interested. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and felt very excited. It was a McDonald's app notification. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 51

PANIC!

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 49

Family way

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I have four daughters in high school. All four announced they are pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 203

Technique

By steph - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Helotes

Today, I was trying to go for a number two while drying my hair so that my boyfriend wouldn't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 344

You deserved it 2 827

For crying out loud

By janeygurl - 18/09/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was driving when the light in front of me turned yellow and I didn't know what to do, so I braked and ended up halfway in the intersection, blocking the turn lane. A guy who was turning slammed on his brakes and started beeping and yelling. I panicked, hit the gas, ran off the road into a drainage pond, and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 428

Beep beep

By Anonymous - 17/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was cooking dinner when my smoke alarm started beeping. I opened the windows, turned on the fan, and checked everything twice. I then realized the noise wasn't the smoke alarm. It was my oven timer. I'd been cooking completely normally and panicking for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 244

I'm only sleeping

By need sleep - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Severna Park

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 598

You deserved it 2 377

My love

By Anonymous - 17/09/2026 15:00 - Ethiopia - Addis Ababa

Today, I accidentally sent an email of love confession to my best friend, just to find out she calls all of her friends "My love" and my dumbass thought it was a special word she used only for me, and was convinced we were gay for each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 257

Blasts from the past

By Anonymous - 17/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I think the universe is playing some cruel prank on me. Over the last few months I’ve had multiple exes reach out for various reasons. I’m talking exes from 20+ years ago to a guy I only got coffee with twice. Messages ranged from, “Hey how ya been?” to “I’ll still love or hate you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 63

Found it!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after a week wondering why my bedroom smelled faintly like oranges, I cleaned the sheets, washed the curtains, checked the trash, and even moved the furniture, I found the source: one orange I'd put in the pocket of a winter coat months ago. It was so gross, I had to toss the coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 254

Running late, or early?

By bkeiya - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Japan

Today, I saw my train pulling into the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been to. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 783

You deserved it 15 143

Thanks, I guess…

By Well, that's just bollocks - 17/09/2026 03:00 - Mexico - Tlalpan

Today, my girlfriend gave me her ex-boyfriend's hoodie as a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 42

I'm a good boy

By Trish - 17/09/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I took my dog to the vet and waited in the lobby while filling out a form. The receptionist asked for his name, so I wrote it down and handed it over. She looked at the form and asked, “Is that your name or his?” I'd accidentally written my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 240

Moving on

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my ex found out that I didn't cheat on her and apologized. I forgave her but now she wants me to leave my fiancee and get back together with her. She won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 54

The Times They Are A-Changin'

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I thought of this website for the first time in like 15 years. I wanted to laugh but now people just post actual sad shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 119

Hard pass

By Jessica - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 411

You deserved it 2 198

Check your luggage

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 88

Healthy relationship goals

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Wichita

Today, I learned that my girlfriend of 5 months blocked me and said I was stalking her, and that I was weird. She also let her friends make jokes about my hair, even after all the gifts. I was planning on asking her to homecoming, but now she’s letting some other guy ask her and won’t even tell me who it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 251

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and waited for everyone else to arrive. I spent the time quietly singing along to music in another tab. When the meeting started, my manager said, "We've been able to hear you for the last 5 minutes." I'd assumed the microphone was muted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 373

Fine, I'll wait

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 3 385

Losing my mind

By Phill - 16/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour looking for my wallet before leaving for work. I checked my jacket, bag, kitchen counter, and even the fridge for some reason. I finally gave up and took my spare card. At lunchtime, I reached into my coat pocket and found the wallet. I'd been wearing the coat the entire morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 167

Confusing

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 00:00 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, a guy I liked is moving away. He gave me a flower, saying it was a farewell gift even though he's moving to my hometown where I'm also returning to. I was confused because while it wasn't a rose, this isn't common where we're from. He then told me he's been in love with our friend since their first conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 63

IMPORTANT

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out my email folders and found a message I'd sent myself five years ago with the subject "IMPORTANT." I opened it, expecting something useful. It was a reminder saying, "Remember to look up what this is about." I apparently trusted future me far too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 234

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Anxiety Friends Students Love Tinder Dating Facebook Awkward First Dates Dogs Transportation Cars Accident My ex Intimacy Confused Sex Health Embarrassing Gross NSFW Poopoo peepee Kids Pregnancy Cheating Break-ups Work Mother in law Family

The Top

Today, I got a new trainee at work. She was the experimental one-night stand I’d had several months back and never called again. She kept making remarks about how excited she is to be working under me again and winking. This is gonna be a long couple of weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 1 420

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 197

You deserved it 294 132

Random

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 603

You deserved it 1 911

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 186

You deserved it 6 500

Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 143

You deserved it 3 976

Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 115

Today, I realized there are only three things keeping me from committing suicide: My pets, my fictional comfort character, and the knowledge that if I failed, I’d not only be institutionalized, but be kicked out of my very Catholic high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 161

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of juice on sale. When it didn't ring up the sale price, they told me that the bottle was just on the wrong shelf and it wasn't on sale. I demanded that they honor the price, and they had security escort me out, without the juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 1 000