By howard1954 - 19/9/2019 22:00 Text Wars Today, I woke up feeling amazing. Upon looking at my phone, I saw a text from my boyfriend's ex, saying, "I'm sorry." Ten minutes later, I received a slew of angry text messages from my boyfriend, thanks to his ex. What an amazing day. FML I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 20 5 0 1 1 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2019 20:00 Deliverance Today, while at my family reunion, I learned my grandparents were first cousins. No wonder we're all crazy hillbillies. FML I agree, your life sucks 223 You deserved it 20 2 1 7 18 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2019 18:00 Cockstepblocked Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 90 3 1 29 20 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DebbiemontG - 19/9/2019 16:01 Pay up, sunshine Today, after a whole summer of waiting, I went to check my school's website so that I could start my first year again since I had some complications the first time round. I found out that they'd blocked my account and that the fee I'd have to pay was now triple the original. FML I agree, your life sucks 435 You deserved it 66 9 0 27 4 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ER Birthday - 19/9/2019 14:00 Unhappy Birthday Today, I got home from the hospital. Yesterday was my birthday, and I got a piece of steak caught in my lower esophagus, resulting in a trip to the ER and an overnight stay so they could put me under and fish it out. I’m not allowed meat for a month while they find out what caused it. FML I agree, your life sucks 483 You deserved it 52 8 3 23 1 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By that1summergirl - 19/9/2019 12:00 - Canada Riverdale is a lie Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML I agree, your life sucks 283 You deserved it 1104 6 2 9 72 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SonOfACatKiller - 19/9/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno Alas, poor Tiddles Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 1052 You deserved it 42 30 6 166 14 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By samba_spaz - 19/9/2019 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles Groove is in the Heart Today, I was at my usual drum circle. This guy I'd never seen before showed up and started playing an unfamiliar beat. Thinking he was new, I tried to teach him what to play. Turns out he was a professional drummer and was playing an advanced version of the groove I was trying to teach him. FML I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 929 6 4 1 74 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By German;) - 19/9/2019 04:00 Street art Today, I came outside to see someone had written on my car, "I love your hairy butt, pubes, and fat girlfriend!" multiple times. I wouldn't have been bothered if all those things weren't true. FML I agree, your life sucks 708 You deserved it 89 7 3 10 37 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2019 02:03 - United Kingdom - London Just a prank, bro! Today, I've been told that the test I have tomorrow, which I've been studying for, is not on 'Parent and Child Relationships' but on 'Scotland's Fishing Communities'. My brother thought it would be funny to hide the real booklet, and make up his own one for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 892 You deserved it 124 11 5 48 22 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2019 00:02 Sit and stew Today, my dog and I got sprayed by a skunk. I have no tomato juice or baking soda, and the bus doesn't come for another 3 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 826 You deserved it 84 5 1 40 13 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By huh? - 18/9/2019 13:00 - United States - Monterey Park Creepy Dick Pic Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me a photo of him getting head from a gorgeous woman. He captioned it “Jealous?” with smiley emojis. I’m not sure what’s creepier, the fact that he sent it, that he even has my new number or that we broke up more than 8 years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1336 You deserved it 54 13 2 111 23 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 20:00 Head, meet wall Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML I agree, your life sucks 794 You deserved it 174 13 3 3 44 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yudencow - 18/9/2019 18:00 Reading skills Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML I agree, your life sucks 782 You deserved it 101 6 1 2 59 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 16:00 Venus in Furs Today, my boyfriend asked my dad why he gave me the nickname "Bear," which he has called me since I was very little. My dad responded, "Because she has a hairy back." FML I agree, your life sucks 1017 You deserved it 84 6 6 16 101 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 14:00 Cats gonna cat Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 952 You deserved it 242 11 4 26 47 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wowseriously - 18/9/2019 12:00 - United States Dumpster Fire Boyfriend Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML I agree, your life sucks 966 You deserved it 114 10 4 34 58 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Victoria - 18/9/2019 06:00 - Australia - Perth My name is? Today, while interviewing for a job, I was greeted by the interviewer with a handshake and a greeting of, "Hello Victoria, my name is Bill." I responded with, "Hello. My name is Bill." I think it's safe to assume I didn't get the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 955 You deserved it 292 9 2 7 95 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 04:02 - United Kingdom - Southampton WTF VHS? Today, a teacher asked me to edit a video of her class. Unfamiliar with cameras that work with video tape, I accidentally recorded over her video. The footage is impossible for me to get back. FML I agree, your life sucks 827 You deserved it 690 13 1 57 20 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Terrible Boss - 18/9/2019 02:04 - United States Stability Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML I agree, your life sucks 260 You deserved it 4373 21 2 12 178 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 00:01 - United States Criminal Minds Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML I agree, your life sucks 1891 You deserved it 72 20 2 191 9 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - 17/9/2019 22:00 Roll with it Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML I agree, your life sucks 1113 You deserved it 213 25 9 9 80 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington Market crash Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML I agree, your life sucks 1322 You deserved it 102 11 1 50 98 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 18:00 - United States - Baton Rouge No BigMac for you Today, after months of searching for any kind of work, I finally received a call. It was McDonald's, but they said I was overqualified for the position. I thought they took anyone with a heart rate. Apparently not. FML I agree, your life sucks 1242 You deserved it 77 32 2 3 43 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BDSarah - 17/9/2019 16:00 Special Today, my mom introduced me to everyone we met as her "special needs child." They all seemed to believe her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1198 You deserved it 89 28 3 18 65 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 14:00 Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 1454 You deserved it 53 17 2 78 22 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katie - 17/9/2019 12:01 - United States The Bathtub Incident Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 1436 You deserved it 85 19 2 121 9 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emily - 17/9/2019 08:00 Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML I agree, your life sucks 1028 You deserved it 129 15 1 10 66 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lauren Davies - 17/9/2019 06:00 Paper-thin walls Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML I agree, your life sucks 1178 You deserved it 217 4 2 5 165 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/9/2019 04:00 Parked, indefinitely Today, my mom told me I wouldn't be able to take driver's education until at least my sixteenth birthday, because I'm, "Not ready to drive a car." Isn't that the whole point of driver's ed? FML I agree, your life sucks 1068 You deserved it 284 42 5 7 31 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, someone rang my doorbell 4 times while I was sleeping. I thought it was an emergency and opened the door to a Wegmans delivery of 2 packs of water... I agree, your life sucks 12 You deserved it 5 0 Comments
Today, After nearly five years of marriage and supporting her through her Masters Program, my wife left me with literately nothing. The worst part? I still... I agree, your life sucks 30 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at... I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 90 2 Comments
Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me a photo of him getting head from a gorgeous woman. He captioned it “Jealous?” with smiley emojis. I’m not sure what’s creepier,... I agree, your life sucks 1336 You deserved it 54 8 Comments
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