By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00 Spider-man Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 You deserved it 42 0 0 1 4 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Surewhatever - 16/10/2019 14:01 Not on a plane Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML I agree, your life sucks 176 You deserved it 14 2 0 5 11 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CrackHouseBaby - 16/10/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester This Is Us Today, I learned that my parents lied. They didn't meet each other at an acid house rave. They met each other at a crack house. FML I agree, your life sucks 274 You deserved it 27 5 1 5 15 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 06:00 - Australia The devil is in the details Today, after cancelling work, arguing with my family, scrambling to pack my bags, speeding to the airport and filling in immigration forms to fly out to have a much needed holiday, I wasn't allowed to check in. My passport has less than 6 months away from expiration on it. Yes, that's a thing, apparently. FML I agree, your life sucks 411 You deserved it 417 21 2 9 5 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cheryl - 16/10/2019 04:00 Go, Vegan! Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML I agree, your life sucks 679 You deserved it 168 27 3 7 17 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00 Romantic mood Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuck buddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 755 You deserved it 61 38 2 10 17 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Yudith - 16/10/2019 00:01 Potholes Today, I ran to catch the night bus which passes every hour, when it unexpectedly passed its stop and turned right. I ran faster, only to trip on a roadwork sign and scrape both knees on the half-rebuilt road, ruining my new yoga pants in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 670 You deserved it 140 29 2 9 16 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 22:00 And now, on Judge Judy Today, I found out my roommates spent my rent money and told the landlord I never paid. I've paid my rent and theirs the past 6 months. My name's on the lease. FML I agree, your life sucks 908 You deserved it 212 8 2 71 5 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Powerless111 - 15/10/2019 20:00 Freedom of speech Today, I got yelled at for 30 minutes while on a date for using the word "bitch." I used it to describe my friend's wife, who will also yell at you for 30 minutes for using a word she doesn't like. FML I agree, your life sucks 575 You deserved it 1004 21 2 10 53 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 18:03 Nature is so wonderful! Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML I agree, your life sucks 940 You deserved it 237 10 3 17 91 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 16:00 Early bird special Today, despite the fact they know I'm commuting hundreds of kilometres, I was requested to come to work at the earliest possible hour, every day. I'll be waking up at half past 3 a.m. and admire sunrises on my way. FML I agree, your life sucks 945 You deserved it 131 49 1 17 5 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00 Life imitates bad art Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 1010 12 2 6 71 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By twobyfour - 15/10/2019 12:00 Shelved plans Today, after spending two hard months losing 20 pounds of my 80 pound goal, I was actually excited to exercise. After I was done exercising, I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. FML I agree, your life sucks 1129 You deserved it 75 46 2 25 9 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dogless - 15/10/2019 06:00 Creepy Today, at my surprise birthday party, my neighbor gave me a new dog collar. My dog was run over by him a week ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1354 You deserved it 62 32 3 112 14 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 04:00 Wakey Wakey! Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 1068 You deserved it 123 9 4 74 21 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Boyufd - 15/10/2019 02:00 Too late Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML I agree, your life sucks 1020 You deserved it 144 6 4 3 63 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Foreveralone - 15/10/2019 00:01 We're all that one person Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that that person is me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1110 You deserved it 110 62 2 15 10 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ashley - 14/10/2019 22:00 Fire…? Today, two out of our three smoke detectors were going off. My grandpa won't call the fire department because he thinks our house will be condemned. The alarms are still going off. FML I agree, your life sucks 1096 You deserved it 90 15 2 46 11 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Breezie - 14/10/2019 20:00 - United States Hi Zach! Today, at work, a customer commented that I look like Zach Galifianakis. I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 1104 You deserved it 109 11 1 19 78 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 18:00 Fishing Today, I was looking at my boyfriend's rarely-used Facebook page as he was next to me. Last time he was online over a year ago, he had something up that said, "Still looking for that perfect girl." I jokingly said he should update it. He responded, "Why? It's still true." FML I agree, your life sucks 1283 You deserved it 260 69 3 42 45 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 16:00 Mess incoming Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 1276 You deserved it 115 7 3 70 45 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 14:00 - United States Paranoid much? Today, I got pushed around by several suspicious mothers in a playground. I just wanted to sit down and rest my feet while I waited for my wife to finish her shopping across the street. FML I agree, your life sucks 1205 You deserved it 122 63 1 16 10 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00 Drunk hookup ends with a… bang Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML I agree, your life sucks 1081 You deserved it 414 3 3 4 153 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kkmirw - 14/10/2019 05:00 Pissed Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML I agree, your life sucks 1387 You deserved it 73 12 1 71 16 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Virginia6810 - 14/10/2019 02:00 Christmas is canceled Today, I got an email that my Amazon account was probably hacked, and they have gone ahead and canceled all orders that seemed suspicious. Two days ago I was celebrating that I'd finished Christmas shopping early. Never mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 1384 You deserved it 113 58 1 17 30 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DDboy - 13/10/2019 22:00 Going pro Today, I got yelled at by one of the managers at my store for tucking in my shirt in the crew room. She called it unprofessional and offensive. It was my first day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1327 You deserved it 106 51 5 26 16 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mystic Alan - 13/10/2019 19:00 FML's Weekly Horoscope - 13th of October 2019 Find out what embarrassing stuff the dumbass stars and planets have in store for you this week! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00 The Sweet Smell of Success Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML I agree, your life sucks 1333 You deserved it 436 3 3 13 173 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Henry - 13/10/2019 13:00 How is that fair? Today, I was promoted as an auditor at an insurance company. After finding 9 compliance violations and over $15,000 returned incorrectly, I reported them to my manager. She blamed me for all the mistakes and fired me. These mistakes happened two years before I was employed with the company. FML I agree, your life sucks 1845 You deserved it 92 39 1 96 8 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmyboss - 13/10/2019 07:00 People never learn Today, I was made fun of at work by my mom and my supervisor. I work at a kids' anti-bullying camp. FML I agree, your life sucks 1468 You deserved it 132 75 8 20 30 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today my husband used my car to restart the battery to his nice car that I am not allowed to drive as ‘I might not know how or damage it one day‘. While... I agree, your life sucks 13 You deserved it 0 1 Comments
Today, my adult daughter told me if she was ever blessed with a daughter, she already had a name chosen. She said she loved the sound of it, and most people... I agree, your life sucks 42 You deserved it 4 1 Comments
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door... I agree, your life sucks 755 You deserved it 61 7 Comments
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I... I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 1010 3 Comments
Funniest FMLs of the Day
Weirdest FMLs of the Day
