FML : Your everyday life stories

Weirdest FMLs of the Day Most Commented FMLs of the Day

Not helping.

Today, my neighbor's pesky 7-year-old daughter, who is friends with the guy I really like, decided to help me with him. She used her phone to send him a picture of me. I was in the shower, completely naked and surprised. FML

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By child abused - / Thursday 19 October 2017 00:00 / United States - New York

C'est la langue de l'amour!

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Thursday 19 October 2017 05:00 /

Pop Quiz Day

No thanks.

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By FML Approved - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 22:00 / United States - New York

I agree, that was well spotted

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 21:00 / United States - New York

Today, the handle on our front door broke, leaving us unable to open it. We got a guy to come to sort it out, but all he succeeded in doing was completely wrecking the door. He says he can come back next week. We have no other way out of the house. FML

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You deserved it

By ihaveissues - / Thursday 19 October 2017 01:30 /

30 Times People’s Petty Exes Tried Texting Them and Got Totally Dragged

After a breakup, there’s always an unofficial winner and loser. Here is a collection of losers whose desperate texts ended up getting...

By Nina - / Thursday 19 October 2017 00:00 / France - Paris

Today, after extensive tests due to pregnancy-related issues, I've been told my diet must change. I can no longer eat salt, sugar, gluten, or meat, and lactose is questionable. The doctor hopes it will end after the birth. Seven months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 16:00 / United States - Indianapolis

Dog Jump Fail

Practice doesn't always make perfect!

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By FML Approved - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 15:10 / United States - New York

Today, a DNA test proved that my 2-month-old daughter isn't mine. The real father is my girlfriend's husband, whom she married last year when she lied to me about going on a vacation. We've been together for three years and I never knew. FML

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You deserved it

By Richard - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 13:23 / United States

One Woman Puts Hotel’s Pet Policy to the Test When She Brings Her Horse

Everyone gets sleepy on long road trips, including horses. So when one woman came across a hotel that allowed pets, she booked a room...

By Nina - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 17:30 / France - Paris

Today, I found out that I get incredibly, disgustingly ill if I eat anything before or during a flight. I discovered this 4 hours into a 23-hour flight to Greece. Only 19 hours of nausea to go. FML

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You deserved it

By killmepls - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 14:00 / Australia - Saint Lucia

Today, I got a new title at work. My boss hyped it up and made it sound amazing, so I accepted. Come to find out it pays 20k less a year and is twice as much work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Tupac - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 05:00 /

Moving Walkway Fail

Follow your dreams, kids!

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 22:00 / United States - New York

World

United Kingdom

...but why?

Today, I got my period at school, so I went to the toilet to put in a tampon. Opening the packaging was really noisy, but I assumed the bathroom was empty. After hearing giggling from a group of girls, I waited until I thought they left. They waited for me. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 00:30 / United Kingdom - Poole

This Man Burnt Down His Home After Attempting to Kill Spiders with A Blowtorch

Lots of people hate spiders, but not many people go to such great lengths to kill them. When one Arizona man decided to unleash the...

By Nina - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 00:00 /

Today, I found a 2-page letter nailed to the door of my car demanding that I break up with my girlfriend, Janet, so that a "real man" can date her instead. I’m a single straight woman and I don’t know anybody called Janet. FML

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You deserved it

By wait, what - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 21:00 / United Kingdom - Southampton

Dog Box Fail

Think outside the box!

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By FML Approved - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 14:30 / United States - New York

A Man Who Was Arrested After Police Mistook Krispy Kreme Glaze For Meth Gets $37,500 Settlement

Nearly two years after Florida police wrongly arrested Daniel Rushing for possession of what they thought was crystal meth, but was...

By Nina - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 18:00 /

Today, my 28-year-old brother screamed at me and outed me to our very religious, homophobic parents because I wouldn't let him shock his friend with an electric dog collar. FML

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You deserved it

By notout - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 15:00 /

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 06:00 / United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML

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You deserved it

By Fire_Princess16 - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 04:20 /

Trying to Put My Life in Order

Life is just one giant storm sometimes!

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By FML Approved - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 03:00 /

World

Canada

Today, during a romantic shower with my girlfriend, I slipped, fell, and took the both the shower curtain and rod with me. My dignity hurts more than my butt. FML

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You deserved it

By "Alex Neiva" - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:30 / Canada - Toronto

TV News Report Searching For Wild Cougar Goes From Dangerous to Delightful When Interrupted By House Cat

A Fox News reporter on location in Mississippi hoping to capture footage of a wild cougar on the loose stumbled across your average...

By Nina - / Tuesday 17 October 2017 00:00 /

Today, I was blaring the radio to drown out the sound of the kids in the apartment upstairs. They then started jumping in time with the music. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 16 October 2017 23:15 /

World

United Kingdom

Harsh.

Today, I thought I was going to get lucky with my girlfriend. Instead, I learned that she thought I was an ugly, masculine girl. All of our "dates" had been her taking me out to improve her chances when looking for guys. FML

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You deserved it

By Peridot - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:00 / United Kingdom - London

Today, it's been a year since my wife and I moved to our new house, and 3 months since she ordered a new king-sized bed. I still don't know what the bed feels like, but I have an awesome relationship with the couch. FML

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Ghost563412 Say more :

OP here. To address some confusion: I don't sleep in the same bed (or room, for that matter) because I apparently snore like a rusty chainsaw. We moved into our new place a year ago with an old beat up bed, she ordered a new bed while I was out of state working 4 months ago now. To further clarify, I've napped in the bed once, and we do use it for purposes other than sleeping. However, she has to...

By MarriedSingleGuy - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:16 /