OP here. I can't even believe this got published. When I published this, I went with a different name because I forgot about my old account, but I managed to recover it. For those wondering about what happened, yes I did explain to my dad how it works. He comes from a much older generation and isn't into cosplay like I am, but he's also never run a business before, so he didn't understand the process of how it goes. To those who claim Cosplay isn't a real profession. Go to a convention sometime. You'll meet a lot of people who model, make their own costumes, and make a fortune on this. It's a newer market and better than working in a cramped cubicle, selling your soul to a minimum wage pension that doesn't even give you good health benefits at the end of the day, let alone having a boss who either constantly yells at you or steals your hours for their own selfish gain.

OP here. Most of y'all know me. This is my 3rd FML posted this year so I got a little streak going. Update: the doctor who performed surgery on me has been hospitalized. I'm not sure why yet. I need a follow-up appointment to get my stitches removed. That being said, my delay may be longer than expected before I can lace the gloves again.

Holy shit I can't believe my FML got published thank you. I've been actively dating for about 3 years now, but it has been over 8 years since I've been intimate with a woman. Not that I haven't been trying but health issues with my child and I have have made it difficult sometimes to date. But some of the biggest issues have been finding someone who can look pass the fact that I'm a single dad with two kids and health issues. But afew ladies on occasion seemed like good possibilities. And we did start to get to know each other better only for me to realize that they were drunks, heavy drug addicts, abusive to their kids, trying to use me for weed or just leading me on for kicks and being ghosted alot. so all I can really do is keep looking and hoping. and for anyone wondering I live in the upper peninsula of Michigan if you're interested LOL don't know why it says Ottawa.

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OP here. I realize no matter where I go I'd start at an entry-level job; but even most entry level jobs that require a degree would pay the bills for my family. My biggest disappointment is that I was only offered a barely above minimum wage, part-time job, after a three-month application process. I spent hours watching recorded meetings and looking over the shelter's statistics and brainstorming improvements to present at my interview (because I applied for an entry-level desk job) so it felt like a slap in the face to spend so much time and energy on this only to be hit with, as kfchicken correctly pointed out, a job any able-bodied person could do- and only part time! (I know they had full time positions available, so I'm wracking my brain about who could possibly have been chosen over me.)

To all who don’t understand, I literally went to the wrong art festival. I was given the wrong address and then realized when I got home that it was not the right festival just a similar name.

Ok OP here, here's the deal. I have no problem singing Britney. I like music that's that. But my brother thought it would be hilarious to overwrite my presentation with that. As far as why I was recording, well I lost a bet and keep my word. However, it was not Oops I did It Again it was Man Eater. Class got a good kick out of it for sure.

Op here. Nope it’s a 2003 Nissan Altima. It was his last car he drove. It has sentimental value and he took excellent care of it. It’s not valuable, but having a piece of something that meant so much to him makes it priceless to me.

To clarify we're both white

Hi everyone, OP here. I'd like to start by saying that the few of you who said she doesn't like me, you are probably right. When my fiance and I got engaged she didn't want to tell her family, to this day 2 years later I don't know who does and doesn't know. I believe she doesn't want to accept the fact that her 27, almost 28 year old son is getting married and starting a family. I myself am 26. My family on the other hand is super excited. She has stated a couple times that she is in no position to support us once the baby gets here. My fiance works 45+ hours a week at a very good job so we will be fine. We tried telling her that we won't need her support financially and she doesn't believe us. We live somewhere there is enough room to raise a child. Also my insurance will cover all of our hospital and Dr bills. My fiance and I have been together for over 5 years and living together for almost 3. We both love each other very much and are excited about the life we created. I figure if that's how she wants to act then oh well it's her loss! Sorry that was so long!

I'll prob just wear jeans from now on. Though it'd be funny to see them react to a mini skirt lol!

Op here! Unfortunately I was using a brand new curling iron that had changeable barrels. The barrel wasn’t snapped into place completely, so while I was curling my hair the barrel fell off and onto my leg. Because it fell off the handle I couldn’t pick it up so I had to swat it off of my leg. Unfortunately because it sat a little longer than it should of (the temp on it was 450 Fahrenheit) it caused two 3rd degree burns on my upper thigh. Because of the severity of the burn and the fact it was already blistering and cracking I had to make a trip to the ER. Thankfully it won’t scar but the road to recovery will be interesting and I definitely learned a couple lessons.

Sounds like you have a very low option of me. You don’t even know me and FML Limits the amount of characters in a post so there isn’t much room to be more descriptive. But I like that you asked questions. 1. I am the only one working and my wife spends a lot of money shopping. She has admitted she has an addiction and is working through it. But if all the money was available to her, our bills wouldn’t get paid. Here she asked me for money. 2. My wife had every intent on going to her friends house. It’s a daily ritual for her. My wife’s father passed and she finds comfort helping her friend with her 5 kids. I get it but it gets very lonely for me and she spends more time buying stuff for them, and cleaning her friends house, and bathing her kids then she spends at home. 3. Yes it was an argument ! She says I don’t do shit around the house because my job is relaxed most days which affords me time to do more. My side is how dare you tell me about helping out more when I am home all day, working, cleaning, and taking care of our dogs. Yet if I don’t make the bed or take the laundry to the garage I am a lazy piece of shit! 4. For the name calling is “talking shit to me”. 5. When you are sitting alone in a house and taking care of a household while your spouse is taking care of someone else’s household, then we can talk. Until then you don’t have to feel any empathy for me. Hit the “you deserve it” button and move on!

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Hey, OP here! So, to explain, I've been really good friends with this girl for a while. She came out to me about six months ago, and I, in turn, came out to her. We had been dancing around topics like relationships and crushes for a long time. We've kind of flirted in the past, especially during game nights when we would play Truth Or Dare with two other close friends. We don't choose each other's truths or dares; we use an app that comes up with everything. So we have kissed in the past and sat on each other's laps, but I still didn't know how she truly felt about me. After reading some of your comments (21 and 30) who assured me that inviting me to her house was indeed a good sign, I decided to bite the bullet and confess to her. Actually, to be honest, I started by saying "I like you" and couldn't quite get the rest out. She had to make sure I meant in a romantic way. Super awkward, but we pushed past it. And to comment 22, you can go suck a lemon. She actually DOES feel the same way about me. I know, shocking. That's actually never happened before; I usually get rejected, so I couldn't quite process what was happening. And yes, she's known about my ENORMOUS crush for a while now, but for some reason didn't bring it up. It was actually comment 5 that gave me the final push to ask her. I had never heard about The Problem With Lesbian Sheep, so I had to look it up, but I am very grateful that I did. I think it was the visualization of the sheep that spurred me on. We had a movie night last night. She's a big fan of horror movies, so she popped the popcorn and I supplied the movie. I'm not sure where we'll go from here, but it's looking good guys!

Hey, OP here! Hahaha ,fortunately I had the choice to get the nasal or the throat swab and I chose throat! No deep nasal fucking here!

I have another job lined up, no problem, and am already hired in. It made more sense for me to be the one to leave since I'm hourly and he's salary. I love my job, but I hate it at the same time, so it's a bit of both. He never asked me to leave though, I offered to be the one to go somewhere else. He's never struck me as controlling or anything like that before, and still doesn't now. But neither of us wants to be fired. I don't think you're cynical at all, by the way, and actually appreciate you're honesty and POV

My nick's misleading, but that is my name and I am a girl! Anyways. Thought I'd tell you all that I didn't get fired (O.o)/ However, I did have to give him (boss) an (exceptionally awkward) explanation because he thought I was watching funny youtube videos. He just keeps giving me the weirdest/funniest friggin' looks, and now uses the the keyword "Deep Purple" to get me to make him coffee. This acrid event seems to have made us friends. Thankfully my bowels have re-aligned to perfectly silent working condition. God, I hope he doesn't bring this up at the next work party. /dies

OP here. This actually happened a couple years ago. I was taking Adderall for ADHD and drinking an egregious amount of coffee. I would stay up for up to 6 days in a row on a regular basis because I was working almost full-time and taking 15 credits of heavy math and science classes and there was no time for sleep. I was going to school in LA and working on my undergrad degree in Biology. I moved back home to Iowa a year later and switched to nursing school which is 10x easier. I'm doing much better now. That wasn't my only hallucination though. I once sat in the middle of the road for several minutes waiting to turn into my apartment because I thought the parking lot entrance was being blocked by a guy wearing a giant easter bunny costume on a riding lawn mower XD

OP here. The job was at Subway, so they really don't care about firing and hiring people enough to follow up with a drug test. We both offered! I have a great PT job at a doctor's office, but really needed extra income because COVID hit us hard. I was really surprised that they just randomly fired both of us over an assumption! WTF. The manager is a recovered addict and said she knew the signs. Umm, no, apparently you don't. We don't even have the money to DO drugs lol! Now we have no power. But still have a roof. Fuck 2020.

OP here: this is not the first time she’s done this! I’ve talked about this two years ago and how I find it incredibly boring to listen to the same songs three months!! Of course the others don’t mind since they’re afraid of conflicts plus I’m the one with the office very close to hers!

So actually, this is my FML, but i didn't know if it would let me do a follow up since I have a different user name. So now to tell the whole story. My brother was very young and my family isn't big on alcohol; the most they drink is during the holidays when they're with family. Anyway, The church basically exiled us because they thought we were all raging alcoholics. I just heard mom telling the story and thought i would post it. it goes to show that kids really will say the darnest things haha. He's 13 now and I'm 21, so now he knows what beer actually is, and definitely doesn't say that's his favorite drink.

Finland. Can't blame the education, my friend is the kind that chooses to forget everything after passing the exams...

OP here! I definitely found this funny pretty much as soon as I stopped crying, lol. I don't really drink both from low tolerance and disliking the taste, but I keep a box of Seagrams around for social drinking only since it's not very hard and you can't really taste the alcohol in it. It was a D&D session and another player's character died heroically trying to protect all of our characters and had a huge dramatic sendoff. After our characters escaped and everything died down, we agreed to go back and recover his body, which we're keeping on ice to resurrect as soon as we're able. My character was very close to him so I had roleplayed with him a lot. When the session ended with the character still dead, we all decided to raise a drink to him and I broke out one of the Seagrams in his honor. I was fine. The DM was fine. The player with the dead character was fine. We all knew we'd get him back in a week or two. But man...I finished that can and some kind of floodgate opened. We were just talking about the session and how cool everything was and I just started sobbing over it until I had to leave the call. As soon as I sobered up I was cracking jokes about it, but I thought the sheer extent to how intensely drunk I got off so little was frankly depressing, especially when the rest of the group was doing rum and vodka in his name!

Hey wow I didn’t know my FML was posted but I was in EMT school so the job I got fired from was a restaurant. I had worked for that company for almost five years and the times I called out I had actual doctors notes so I was a little devastated. But i work in a hospital now and make quadruple what I mass there so no worries now!! And yea, he was an asshole

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Oh wow, my FML finally got published! I know it takes some time to fully heal from the baby, it just hits me harder because both of my sisters had babies after me and they're both back into their nonmaternity wardrobe. So I am a little jealous that it took me a while to start making progress- and why it was such a bummer to move backward so fast. Really, I know I picked up bad habits during pregnancy and I gained a lot of unhealthy weight, not just baby weight, so I'm exercising to be healthier overall. The riding in the first place is part of my course load at university. I fell off because the stirrup snapped and I hit the ground with it. My husband had to wheel me to urgent care and they did X rays to make sure I didn't break my pelvis. So while the good news is nothing was broken- I couldn't get off the couch for days and it still took me about three weeks to be able to walk around the house. I'm feeling much better now and should be back in classes at the end of this week!

OP here. I didn’t actually install a pool. I was running a bath and my baby started screaming, so I went to soothe him and forgot about the bath. I need to replace the floors all through my house!

Hey everyone! I thought I’d update everyone. This event in particular happened back in November 2017, and what happened was, I’d made the trip from home to a suburb near where the event was happening on the Thursday prior to the weekend starting for set up on the Friday. On the Friday, I made the trip to the airport in the major city about an hour from where I was at to pick up a friend who was flying from interstate. After multiple trips, you’d think I’d know which way I was going to head home, but alas, I ended up an hour and a half away from home. Yes I deserve it, and my friends haven’t let me forget this, and bring it up every time we meet someone new.

My first FML ever published, thank you! I did have extreme empathy for the patient, I held his hand and told him how sorry I was. I had recently been divorced after leaving a 17 year marriage, to an alcoholic, only to be diagnosed with breast cancer a few months after. I don't think I'm unattractive, I just seem to get the wrong kind of attraction. Fast forward, I am now cancer free and maybe someday I'll find that special someone. Thanks for your votes and comments!

OP here! I got the car as a Christmas present from my fiance. My previous car was totaled by an ex (intentionally, another FML) and I'm a poor single mom, so I didn't have much choice except to learn how to drive it asap or walk. I was doing fairly well, but was in a line of cars on a hill, with the car behind me a few inches off my bumper. The First and Reverse are right next to each other, and in a panic, I couldn't figure out if I was in Reverse. On a hill you have to really hit the gas or you roll back. I couldn't tell which gear I was in, so the choice was not hit the gas hard enough and roll into the car behind me, or maybe accidentally in R and floor it into the car behind me. Had a blank moment of panic. The crossing guard was a sweetheart and pulled my car out for me so I could take a few breaths. Then cheered me on when I recovered and peeled out! P.S. This does not make me just another stupid American.

This is OP - I made an account just to clarify that I do not have REM behavior disorder, thanks.