Skincare

Burn!

By morningeyes - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 201

You deserved it 95 782

What is happening?

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, it's been three days since I noticed mysterious bumps on my arms, on the same day my dad, who I lived with, petted dogs and might've brought in fleas. The first two days were harmless skin conditions. The third day was bug bites. They always appeared overnight when I slept and they weren't bed bugs, I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 81

You're not supposed to eat it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I used sunscreen on my face. Said sunscreen was expired and I had an allergic reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 125

Pop off

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 20:00 - Germany - Tostedt

Today, I couldn’t wait to get home and get my boyfriend naked, which I did. Although, to be honest, popping every single pimple in the rash on his back was not the kind of foreplay I had had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 122

All natural glow

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I made a homemade face mask with turmeric, honey, lemon, and a few other organic ingredients. I let the mixture sit, then washed it off. It stained my face so bright yellow I look like I’m either suffering from a terrible case of jaundice or auditing for a live action Simpson’s movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 548

Reuniting with trauma

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 03:00 - Sweden

Today, people in my class reunion bullied me because of a skin condition I have called xeroderma pigmentosum. It makes it so that I get sunburned really easily, and they did it just like they did back in middle school. I hated my life then but when I heard them say it again, I just started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 92

Stolen valor

By eamiller - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Franklin

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 053

You deserved it 3 877

Breakout

By Jennifer - 28/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview. The night before, I'd noticed a small pimple forming on my chin and did everything I could to make it go away. During the interview, I couldn’t focus on anything except the giant pimple that had sprouted on my forehead. I spent the entire time trying to keep my fringe in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 134

Glow up

By Anonymous - 11/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I used a new face mask that claimed it would make my skin glow. I must have missed the part about testing for allergies. My “glow” turned into a bright red rash overnight, just in time for a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 184

Absolute beginner

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 554

Manly man

By takinabreak - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 246

You deserved it 33 879

Tasty treat

By Rayleigh - 02/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was excited to try my new skincare mask. My dog apparently thought I had turned into some kind of monster and barked hysterically for twenty minutes before lunging at my face and licking it off. So much for self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 147

Healthcare for all!

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, it's one of the many monotonous days I have endured in this damn third world country after I found out that my dad had cancer and we moved here for his treatment. My skin condition has spread all over my body from the stress, so I constantly feel absolutely repulsed by my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 143

Skincrawling

By Wanna be a skeleton - 10/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was finally able to see a dermatologist and figure out why my skin problems are so awful. The good news is that I now have an answer: Hidradenitis suppurativa. The bad news is that it's a permanent condition. It's been making my life miserable since I was fourteen, and it's PERMANENT. Great. Just great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 89

Hypochondriac

By Stepheroni - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 845

You deserved it 692

Agony

By I can't think of a funny username for this - 16/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, in my years of experience with skin problems, I've had boils appear in the most horrible spots you can imagine. Still, nothing compares to having like 4 or 5 in roughly the same area, especially if that area is somewhere hard to reach. Somewhere like the back of your neck. Welcome to my hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 63

Referral

By bdogge99 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, I was at the dentist's. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 341

You deserved it 3 030

My skincare routine

By Fuck anxiety - 19/05/2024 02:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed a random dark spot on my skin around my groin area. Fearing that it was possibly melanoma, even though I don't really go outside a lot, I made a mad dash to the doctor. Apparently it's just a fucked-up stretch mark, and is perfectly normal. Nice thing to have a panic attack over. Good job, brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 138

Phones are bad for you

By Katie - 14/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Basehor

Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 181

Warts and all

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Anchorage

Today, I woke up from surgery to find that the chronic warts on my right hand hadn't been removed. The doctor informed me that they'd grown into my radial nerve, so impossible to remove without permanent paralysis. My immune system sucks, so this is just in my hand forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 351

My morning routine

By Flaky - 13/02/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, the eczema on my hands is so bad that my phone's touch screen didn't want acknowledge my fingers as human skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 87

Cool new look

By Anonymous - 10/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I decided to try a new hair removal cream. Turns out, I'm allergic to it. My face now looks like a tomato with eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 150

Fingers crossed

By lukey101 - 05/11/2023 21:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 120

Get it off me!

By Katieeee - 04/11/2023 22:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 135

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 147

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Cordova

Today, I found a DIY beauty hack online, so as I had nothing better to do and my skin is a mess, I gave it a try. I mixed lemon juice with sugar to exfoliate my face. Little did I know, I had a tiny cut on my cheek. The lemon juice made it feel like my face was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 374

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 12:00

Today, my boyfriend's dick is broken. We used to have an amazing sex life but because he won't take care of his jock itch, and his skin keeps cracking every time there's any pulling on his junk, I haven't really been laid in almost a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 298

Teenage kicks

By acnebutt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 046

You deserved it 5 530

Glued up

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 12:00 - Germany

Today, I was grumbling about how they apparently changed the recipe of my favorite lotion and made it all weird and sticky, when I realized that, no, what they actually did was design a bottle of shower cream that looks almost exactly LIKE that of my favorite lotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 730

New morning routine just dropped

By Mel - 23/04/2023 12:00 - United States - Miami Beach

Today, I realized why I've developed painful, flaky, dry patches above my upper lip. It's from kissing my new boyfriend, whose facial hair irritates my skin. He really dislikes how he looks without it, so my best option might be to just stop kissing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 158

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Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 152

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 353

You deserved it 2 957

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 806

You deserved it 73 612

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 874

You deserved it 4 131

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 199

You deserved it 3 195

Today, I went to get Lasik eye surgery. Beforehand, they give you an anxiety control pill because you're conscious during the operation. Guess who is immune to the pill and now has to get checked for anxiety disorders before rescheduling the surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 183