By thatsucks - United Kingdom Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML I agree, your life sucks 1283716 You deserved it 142385 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mick - United States Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML I agree, your life sucks 860194 You deserved it 94257 786 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meteorbabe0101 - United States Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 795844 You deserved it 65372 924 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KAAALIS - United States Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 735916 You deserved it 493503 1378 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By caroline - United States Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 717096 You deserved it 66635 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bittersweet - United States Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML I agree, your life sucks 660006 You deserved it 71673 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RC3Welly - United States Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML I agree, your life sucks 634925 You deserved it 794038 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gentileman - United States Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML I agree, your life sucks 587990 You deserved it 99687 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thankskimi - United States Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML I agree, your life sucks 565501 You deserved it 40117 612 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The Sbeak - United States Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 554876 You deserved it 45246 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By misc - United States Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 551363 You deserved it 46749 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soontobedivorced - United States Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 541592 You deserved it 34881 486 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - Canada Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 535537 You deserved it 52906 522 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 522145 You deserved it 36761 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML I agree, your life sucks 486308 You deserved it 106182 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By catlady1989 - United States Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML I agree, your life sucks 478403 You deserved it 70191 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share catlady1989 tells us more : You people are so cruel. They were indentical except collar color. I said which one and he still messed up. My normal vet was closed because of Mothers day so the pound was the one to do it. I can't believe some of the things you people are saying... it is so hurtful... and both my cats did end up being put down...
By rebekah - United States Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML I agree, your life sucks 461539 You deserved it 76808 494 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML I agree, your life sucks 438013 You deserved it 102873 342 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jilted - United States Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 431465 You deserved it 46482 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ScoobieDoo - United States Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML I agree, your life sucks 425647 You deserved it 66478 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 411567 You deserved it 21680 465 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By creepermagnet - United States Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML I agree, your life sucks 397969 You deserved it 45822 909 Comments Favorite Tweet Share creepermagnet tells us more : Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home...
By Noname - United States Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML I agree, your life sucks 382539 You deserved it 35959 299 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loser - United States Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML I agree, your life sucks 367433 You deserved it 32568 279 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hannah - United Kingdom Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 353450 You deserved it 37645 428 Comments Favorite Tweet Share hannah321 tells us more : hi, i'm the girl who wrote this originally (i've since got an account so changed my name- maybe some people won't believe that but whatever) and i just want to say in response to some people that it was VERY clear on both sides that we were a couple, we were not friends with privileges.. also i am not a stalker, i just wanted to specify exactly how long we'd been together because it emphasises just...
By mehdi Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML I agree, your life sucks 326085 Phew, glad it wasn't me 33634 294 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maxthndr - United States Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 323383 You deserved it 38767 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hahahehehohohoo - United States Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML I agree, your life sucks 322942 You deserved it 58373 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GuitarChick42 - United States Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML I agree, your life sucks 320153 You deserved it 22843 381 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Angelofkarma - United Kingdom Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 313998 You deserved it 172925 803 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today I kicked our cat. And realized, the thing about cats is: They have no concept of the fact that humans cannot see them in the dark. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 You deserved it 17 0 Comments
Today my therapist tells me to keep a list of things I am thankful for. The only thing I can come up with, that I am genuinely thankful for, is the fact... I agree, your life sucks 40 You deserved it 6 1 Comments
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 497 You deserved it 54 10 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 572 You deserved it 50 2 Comments