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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47637) - you deserved it (3680)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (3512)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43303) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49402) - you deserved it (5336)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (3431)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

#20920258
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43820) - you deserved it (6614)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:32pm - health - by soccer_bball (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (4381)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43505) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46353) - you deserved it (5097)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44138) - you deserved it (6575)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

#20937756
109 comments


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