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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43693) - you deserved it (10884)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

#20849387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (2861)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Cavite)

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (2802)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42905) - you deserved it (13815)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42844) - you deserved it (9034)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42789) - you deserved it (3441)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (8340)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42207) - you deserved it (2621)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42140) - you deserved it (3102)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)



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