By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 08:01 Unfortunate Today, I was eatings a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML I agree, your life sucks 573 You deserved it 71 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/1/2021 13:58 Housemates from hell Today, my housemate saw some stuff in the barn, thought I surely wouldn’t be using it, so he stacked lots of lawn furniture on top. The “stuff” in question? Bales of hay. As in, daily food for my horses. FML I agree, your life sucks 683 You deserved it 48 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maryann - 13/1/2021 08:01 Skinny love Today, despite begging my parents to get food other than diet and weight loss stuff, they refused. I'm bullied for being skinny on a daily basis. FML I agree, your life sucks 764 You deserved it 71 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By An. - 11/1/2021 15:01 - United States - Denver Good job Today, after a really bad day, I just wanted to order DoorDash. When my food came, I saw my burger had tomatoes in it, despite requesting no tomatoes. I’m deathly allergic. FML I agree, your life sucks 877 You deserved it 94 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/1/2021 20:02 Clumsy Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML I agree, your life sucks 636 You deserved it 193 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/1/2021 11:01 Hmmm, steak Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 816 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/1/2021 23:02 FEED ME Today, I woke up in a military hospital, after having all four wisdom teeth out yesterday. A nurse came in with a breakfast trolley full of eggs and bacon, looks at my pleading face, looks at her clipboard and says, "Only non-solid foods for you, private." FML I agree, your life sucks 744 You deserved it 110 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/1/2021 19:59 Iron Chef America Today, I thought about trying something "new", so I put raspberry preserves and maple syrup on my waffles. It tasted like cough medicine. FML I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 358 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/1/2021 04:58 The runs Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML I agree, your life sucks 697 You deserved it 392 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/1/2021 23:01 Eggs Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML I agree, your life sucks 692 You deserved it 75 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 23:01 - Germany - Zittau Suffer little chives Today, I found out where the puddle in the basement came from. I thought the freezer was broken, but no. My mom is running what can only be called a death camp for vegetables in there. She buys them, then forgets about them until they turn liquid. FML I agree, your life sucks 867 You deserved it 55 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 17:01 Masterchef 2020 Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML I agree, your life sucks 193 You deserved it 709 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 16:57 Friend request Today, I saw a man begging for change downtown. I offered to buy him a meal, just to help him out with food. He said, "Sure, does Friday work?" I told him that I didn't mean it like that. Three hours later, he found me on Facebook. FML I agree, your life sucks 801 You deserved it 124 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lillian - 25/12/2020 01:58 - United States Are you OK, hun? Today, I walked into a store to buy a type of bread I like. The stuff was sold out, so I asked an employee when they'll be restocking it. The employee yelled at me, because, "They do have that bread," walks to the isle, and then when she saw that they really were out of the bread, she walked off. FML I agree, your life sucks 943 You deserved it 79 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 02:04 - United States - White Plains Bad day Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML I agree, your life sucks 1215 You deserved it 64 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 07:56 - Germany - Zittau Addams Family Values Today, I heard my mom say to the dogs, "Are you hungry? Do you want something tasty out of the garbage can?" Don’t worry though, she probably only meant the one in our garden, where she keeps the deer heads. FML I agree, your life sucks 649 You deserved it 68 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Uh-SLEEP - 11/12/2020 03:01 - United States - Litchfield Park Masterchef Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML I agree, your life sucks 502 You deserved it 58 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes Bodyshaming Today, my coworker doesn't want to go to lunch with me anymore, after I lost a load of weight in lockdown and she's still "overweight." Apparently, I've "changed, and not the same person." FML I agree, your life sucks 632 You deserved it 46 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jules - 9/12/2020 08:02 - Germany - Norden Uncomfortable Today, while many women have a wardrobe full of nothing-to-wear, my mom has a fridge full of nothing-to-eat and a living room full of nowhere-to-sit. FML I agree, your life sucks 545 You deserved it 73 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maisumepg Today, it’s the third month of my diet. Every dream I’ve had since I started has been entirely about junk food. Every. Single. One. FML I agree, your life sucks 2010 You deserved it 274 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VHBJ - United States - Charlotte Pranked Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31719 You deserved it 3512 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By phones - United States Priorities Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML I agree, your life sucks 29791 You deserved it 9207 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohforcheese - United States Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML I agree, your life sucks 29522 You deserved it 8498 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CRC - United States Damned freshmen Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML I agree, your life sucks 29214 You deserved it 2367 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland I heard that Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML I agree, your life sucks 32161 You deserved it 4477 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event.... I agree, your life sucks 41 You deserved it 21 1 Comments
Today, I heard my mom and my 11 years old sister talking about how being gay or bi is funny and everybody should be straight.I'm bi(14 years old) and... I agree, your life sucks 81 You deserved it 12 0 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 400 You deserved it 92 5 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 835 You deserved it 41 7 Comments