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By malicemassacre - 17/1/2021 23:01

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

Today, I found out that the rivalry between my boyfriend and my only friend I have in this city was just a cover up. I'm now a single mom of a 2 year-old and a 5 month-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks
158
You deserved it
25
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 14/1/2021 14:01

Taking sides

Today, after months of not wanting anything to do with her dad, my three-year-old was over her phase. During dinner, I play-shoved my husband and he did it back. Our daughter saw him and now keeps saying, "It’s not nice to push mommy." We’re back to square one. FML
I agree, your life sucks
623
You deserved it
213
3 Comments
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By May - 10/1/2021 20:01

Cart Narcs will get ya!

Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks
715
You deserved it
161
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 9/1/2021 17:01

Can't compete

Today, my husband told me, "Your job is easy! You do nothing but play and have fun with children all day." Mind you, I'm a toddler teacher and have 10 children in a day. When I come home from work, he complains he’s tired because he was watching our only child who's a toddler. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1069
You deserved it
79
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 8/1/2021 05:00

Abusive

Today, my dad threatened to hit me if I didn't tell him what I had in my homework. He thinks I won't keep secrets from him this way. There's a reason I kept secrets in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks
812
You deserved it
68
4 Comments
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By Newgenmom - 18/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom

Not for me

Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit eating grin. FML
I agree, your life sucks
560
You deserved it
1029
16 Comments
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By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 01:08 - United States - Cleveland

Grateful

Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML
I agree, your life sucks
844
You deserved it
137
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 22:58 - Canada - Newmarket

Bored

Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1013
You deserved it
48
2 Comments
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By Etherealskye1023 - 14/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Douglassville

Great parenting, dude

Today, my dad told me that I'm nothing but a burden because I can't work, and disability is worth nothing. It's not my fault I ended up in an abusive foster home that left me with spinal cord damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1221
You deserved it
231
2 Comments
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By lu… - 8/12/2020 08:02 - United States - San Jose

Monster!

Today, my mother decided that I'm a complete sociopath and that I don’t care that my grandmother just died. Why? Because I haven’t lost my appetite. My grief response is to eat. FML
I agree, your life sucks
816
You deserved it
43
5 Comments
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By Monkeys aren't pets - 7/12/2020 23:04 - United States - Millersville

Is that even legal?

Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML
I agree, your life sucks
731
You deserved it
71
3 Comments
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By Kohsukeff - 6/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Gig Harbor

Overreact much?!

Today, my dad called me a "worthless human being", and told me that I'm "better off committing crimes and living life in a prison cell", all because I haven't gotten into the industry I studied for right out of college. I'm currently at a temp job doing accounting. FML
I agree, your life sucks
875
You deserved it
53
9 Comments
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By SoDead - 5/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Overbearing parents are the worst

  Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks
550
You deserved it
1184
11 Comments
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By Lonely - 5/12/2020 07:58 - Netherlands - Utrecht

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML
I agree, your life sucks
784
You deserved it
124
1 Comments
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Nearly  
Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event....
I agree, your life sucks
41
You deserved it
21
1 Comments
Today, I heard my mom and my 11 years old sister talking about how being gay or bi is funny and everybody should be straight.I'm bi(14 years old) and...
I agree, your life sucks
81
You deserved it
12
0 Comments
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  Spicy
  Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much...
I agree, your life sucks
405
You deserved it
92
6 Comments
  Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks
839
You deserved it
41
7 Comments
See all the Spicy FMLs

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