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By Anonymous - 16/4/2021 23:59 - New Zealand - Wellington

Empathy

Today, I had a miscarriage. My partner doesn't understand why I'm upset, saying, "It wasn't even a real baby yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks
1150
You deserved it
86
7 Comments
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By Anonymous - 7/4/2021 23:00

Overreaction Man

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1303
You deserved it
579
10 Comments
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By alyssa - 1/4/2021 21:30

She'll learn

Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks
317
You deserved it
1223
18 Comments
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By HormonesSuck - 25/3/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Hormones

  Today, I'm 23 weeks pregnant and super horny. I also cried during sex with my husband because I can't orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks
990
You deserved it
153
3 Comments
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By Cecilian - 6/3/2021 00:30

Stand up guy

Today, I found out why my fiancé has been treating me like garbage lately. He thought that me getting fed up and dumping him would save him the unpleasant task of having to confess to the affair he’s been having with his coworker. We’re expecting our baby girl in 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1078
You deserved it
73
7 Comments
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By HaroldLames - 1/3/2021 11:01

What have you got yourself into?

Today, the court is unable to allow me to divorce my wife because she is pregnant with our child. I have to wait until AFTER the baby is born, so that she is born inside of a marriage and not be an "illegitimate child". I was planning to move out of our house to go live with my high school sweetheart this weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks
301
You deserved it
2525
20 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/3/2021 05:01

Favoritism

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1090
You deserved it
83
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 25/2/2021 23:00 - Canada

Yeet it

Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks
974
You deserved it
112
6 Comments
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By sodonewiththis89 - 10/2/2021 13:59

Congrats!

Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1217
You deserved it
62
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 4/2/2021 21:30

Yada yada yada

Today, after almost a year of no steady work, I struggled to get anything done once my 7-months pregnant girlfriend woke up at noon. She wanted to talk the whole time, and eventually broke down crying because of her relationship with her mother. I spent the the day consoling her. No wonder I can't get any work. FML
I agree, your life sucks
552
You deserved it
635
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 27/1/2021 14:01

The Other Woman

Today, I found out that my boyfriend’s other girlfriend is pregnant. He doesn’t know that I know. A few days ago he told me that he couldn't have a baby with anyone. She has to be the right one, I guess I wasn’t. FML
I agree, your life sucks
821
You deserved it
149
9 Comments
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By Jen - 24/1/2021 13:58 - United States

Jealous?

Today, my unborn child's father told me he stood outside of my friend's house for an hour in the snow in the middle of the night because he thought I was with another guy. I was at her house helping with her four kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks
986
You deserved it
116
5 Comments
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By Ouch - 18/1/2021 08:02

Fragile

Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks
816
You deserved it
88
1 Comments
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By Anonymous - 4/1/2021 02:01

Revelations

Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1052
You deserved it
55
6 Comments
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By UnexpectedMom - 31/12/2020 02:01

The fertility dance worked

Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML
I agree, your life sucks
632
You deserved it
299
10 Comments
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By blah! - 13/12/2020 14:01

Unionize

Today, I found out I'm pregnant, after quitting my job because they asked us to work for free due to COVID. So because I quit, I'm no longer eligible for maternity leave. I didn’t know that I was 4 months pregnant. I could've just gotten a doctor's note for medical reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks
902
You deserved it
409
6 Comments
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By Lonely - 5/12/2020 07:58 - Netherlands - Utrecht

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML
I agree, your life sucks
795
You deserved it
126
1 Comments
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By FML Approved - France - Paris

FML Shitflix - Guess the Film!

We are pleased to introduce the latest addition to the FML video library: SHITFLIX! Listen carefully to the actors in this mashup of clips to figure out what movie they're describing. If you manage to guess right before the end, comment below!
15 Comments
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By porkers gonna pork :\ - Australia - Elsternwick

And I oop

Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML
I agree, your life sucks
18660
You deserved it
6185
106 Comments
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By Anonymous - United States

Rollercoaster

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks
42558
You deserved it
3636
77 Comments
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By fmlifetime - United States

Delusional

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks
38553
You deserved it
14872
142 Comments
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By Anonymous - United States

Smells like… victory

Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML
I agree, your life sucks
38203
You deserved it
3812
98 Comments
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By prego - United States

Thanks mom, you're the best

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She referred to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergency bedrest by my doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks
69705
You deserved it
4861
213 Comments
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Nearly  
Today, I was listening to a quick recording from a girl in our group chat. I was jerking it to her voice, because she’s hot, but, the entire time I was...
I agree, your life sucks
0
You deserved it
21
0 Comments
Today, my sister is in the hospital because a drunk driver crashed into her car. She was going to get married in two days. FML
I agree, your life sucks
32
You deserved it
2
1 Comments
See all the Nearly FMLs
  Spicy
  Today, my dad and I finally found something we have in common, after 12 years of barely talking with each other. We're both extremely suicidally depressed...
I agree, your life sucks
350
You deserved it
20
1 Comments
  Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has...
I agree, your life sucks
390
You deserved it
43
5 Comments
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