By - 12/2/2020 14:00 - United States Almost father Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML I agree, your life sucks 21947 You deserved it 108070 35 6 85 204 821 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 11/2/2020 20:00 Swinish moment Today I went to change my daughter's diaper, mind you this was a blow out. She threw her hands down to get poop all over her arms, hands, then face. FML I agree, your life sucks 1356 You deserved it 173 24 3 37 71 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kid Napper - 8/2/2020 15:00 - Romania - Suceava Ugly cut Today, my little sister cut my hair super short without me knowing or seeing how much she cut it. And when I showed mom, she beat me because I let my sister cut my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 1579 You deserved it 350 89 3 48 39 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/2/2020 01:00 - Canada - Toronto Just a dream Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML I agree, your life sucks 1598 You deserved it 172 29 6 11 131 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 1/2/2020 20:00 - United States - Shawnee Especially for dad Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML I agree, your life sucks 1889 You deserved it 314 23 6 150 74 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 1/2/2020 18:00 Young kids Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML I agree, your life sucks 2258 You deserved it 1107 49 11 295 98 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 31/1/2020 18:00 Selfish Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML I agree, your life sucks 3746 You deserved it 247 286 15 170 55 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Robyn_mori - 31/1/2020 05:00 - Canada The difference Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said: "You don't want those, they are for men." I asked what the difference was? He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered: "Men have a penis!" FML I agree, your life sucks 1691 You deserved it 420 9 9 4 338 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtfbroidfwy - 29/1/2020 05:00 - United States Please join Today, I caught my 12 years nephew jacking off in his bedroom, when I caught him he asked me if I wanted to join in. FML I agree, your life sucks 1760 You deserved it 248 26 6 90 146 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 27/1/2020 18:00 Glittery letters Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML I agree, your life sucks 1940 You deserved it 391 19 14 51 354 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Redbeard - 24/1/2020 05:00 Who taught him Today, while having my husband's boss at home. My 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell "mum look! Penis!" And wiggled it around... FML I agree, your life sucks 1937 You deserved it 315 10 12 18 406 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/1/2020 01:00 Don't worry! Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 1683 You deserved it 470 9 4 46 180 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/1/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom Parenting fail Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee, when I went back my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, god knows where since I don't own a permanent marker. She then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs, and as an added bonus the tv screen, parenting fail. FML I agree, your life sucks 1763 You deserved it 458 22 8 53 110 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/1/2020 14:00 My 21st birthday Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML I agree, your life sucks 7656 You deserved it 479 417 20 196 249 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "McKenzie Danielle Lawrence" - 10/1/2020 03:00 I'm the oldest Today, my little brother proceeded to tell me that he approved of my boyfriend (he's 12 and I'm 21). And he also very clearly stated that he didn't want my boyfriend's "wiener" anywhere around me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1906 You deserved it 309 13 12 14 261 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/1/2020 20:00 - United States - San Francisco Three kids? Today, I got the results proving if my ex-girlfriend's kid was mine. The results came back negative and I can't have kids. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have 3 kids with my wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 2807 You deserved it 276 43 5 319 43 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WittyMoron - 8/1/2020 01:00 - United Kingdom Shooting! Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML I agree, your life sucks 935 You deserved it 2944 32 7 37 186 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sexlube - 1/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland Hand sanitizer Today, my kid told my wife he's been using the hand sanitizer under our bathroom sink. It's not hand sanitizer, it's a giant bottle of lube. I agree, your life sucks 1428 You deserved it 833 7 5 10 189 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jb123 - 29/12/2020 20:00 - United States - Rock Springs I am still young Today, I was sitting in the waiting room with my two-month-old son. A sweet little old lady came up to me and said, "maybe if you knew how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't have a baby at 15, slut". I'm 23 and married. FML I agree, your life sucks 2728 You deserved it 185 41 7 257 54 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dirtyrice - 24/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Albuquerque Dirty rice Today, my 8-year-old son decided to make some rice for lunch. When we had it, I noticed a horrid gritty taste. It turns out, he puts dirt in the rice to make "Dirty Rice". FML I agree, your life sucks 1579 You deserved it 361 6 7 24 186 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justagirl - 21/12/2019 14:00 Fatherlessness Today my ex started to talk to me again after 3 years... I have been in an amazing relationship for the last 2 years. She let me know she is taking me to court for child support! I didn't even know I had a kid. FML I agree, your life sucks 2268 You deserved it 192 20 6 213 19 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml9124 - 21/12/2019 05:00 New urinal Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses, so he can brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why? He said that he wanted to pee like a man - like we did at the football game. My son is using our bathroom sink like a urinal. FML I agree, your life sucks 1629 You deserved it 276 7 13 14 214 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/12/2019 18:00 Children, toy! Today, I purchased a sex kit for my friend's wedding gift files with various toys, videos, and lubes. My ex-wife emailed me and said my kids received my gift, and they are opening it right now. Apparently, I sent the box to the wrong address. FML I agree, your life sucks 906 You deserved it 2416 10 4 76 231 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aproudmom - 16/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Glen Head Nerf bullets Today, after work I came home to find my sons trying to use my tampons as nerf bullets. FML I agree, your life sucks 1613 You deserved it 246 8 4 8 303 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cadburry - 9/12/2019 05:00 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai Fascinating action Today, while I was masturbating I saw my little sister shockingly watching me, and said please, finish it quickly, I want to see your face when you are coming. FML I agree, your life sucks 2334 You deserved it 532 58 20 371 71 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bir - 8/12/2019 14:00 - Nepal Early wake-up Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML I agree, your life sucks 1636 You deserved it 149 9 3 43 134 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shut up loser! - 2/12/2019 03:00 Not her fault neither mine Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 4160 You deserved it 422 49 22 27 531 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Baddad - 24/11/2019 20:00 This is terrible! Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML I agree, your life sucks 1888 You deserved it 994 28 7 203 43 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore Lovely parents Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they remembered, my dad's reaction was "Oh! Really?" My mom's was "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML I agree, your life sucks 2129 You deserved it 161 154 7 29 22 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Momming hard - 16/11/2019 01:00 He chooses his dad Today, my 3 year old ran to give me a hug, so I thought cause, instead of hugging me, he ran past me to his dad... I stood their arms open like a dang fool. FML I agree, your life sucks 1344 You deserved it 250 18 8 11 92 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I found out thru a friend that my crush actually thinks Im creepy and disgusting, when all this time I was nice to her, paid attention to her whenever... I agree, your life sucks 1 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
today I found out I was put on a back page fetish bonding site against my will, worst part is some jack ass expects me to go along with it and continues... I agree, your life sucks 2 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, while me and my husband had sex, I called my husband "Gabe". That's nowhere near his name and I don't even know a Gabe. He then asked what that... I agree, your life sucks 549 You deserved it 211 6 Comments
Today, I wanted to surprise my husband because of valentine's day by being naked with a towel. I waited behind a door for him to enter. When he arrived,... I agree, your life sucks 755 You deserved it 815 15 Comments