By NotTodaySatan - 7/7/2019 16:00 - United States - Tempe Today, my dad suggested I go back to my abusive, psychotic ex, who happens to be the father of my only child. He suggested this only so I can get pregnant again, and get more money back on my taxes. His "bright side" to this? At least my kids will have the same father. FML I agree, your life sucks 1759 You deserved it 161 21 4 141 26 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/6/2019 06:13 - Canada - Vaudreuil Be careful what you post on the Internet… Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days-old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML I agree, your life sucks 646 You deserved it 2967 50 6 21 108 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gore - 18/6/2019 21:13 - United States - Kansas City Today, I was going to record a song I wrote for my dad, who I haven't spoke to in a couple of years. After getting things together, I called my mom to let her know I'd be doing this. She informed me he died. A year ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 2321 You deserved it 381 76 3 222 16 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By got to be kidding me - 2/5/2019 14:00 - United States - Cape Coral Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 1822 You deserved it 236 27 4 79 59 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LowOnGas - 2/5/2019 18:00 Today, I drove my toddler to a schoolmate’s birthday party at a chuck-e-Cheese an hour drive away, only to find out the party is tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 1478 You deserved it 959 11 9 16 133 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RejectRaven - 29/12/2018 04:00 Today, my two year old got out of her crib while I was sleeping and destroyed $700 worth of my makeup from Sephora. FML I agree, your life sucks 2429 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1413 34 9 145 134 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesus fuck - 19/12/2018 13:30 Today, I got my 1 year old daughter vaccinated. My wife tried to leave me because she's "never felt more betrayed". FML I agree, your life sucks 3677 Phew, glad it wasn't me 432 68 8 233 56 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WellThen - 15/12/2018 06:30 - United States Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML I agree, your life sucks 2194 You deserved it 432 18 5 39 230 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clapping_for_you - 14/12/2018 12:30 Today, in a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it... FML... I agree, your life sucks 2938 You deserved it 340 48 9 84 242 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bully slayer - 12/12/2018 10:00 - Philippines - Pasay City Today, in the absence of my god-daughter's parents, I went in their place to see her elementary school's principal. She apparently stood up to a known bully's violence and retaliated, sending said bully to the hospital. Not only she may be facing expulsion, I may get sued by the bully's parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 2766 You deserved it 174 27 7 188 30 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dusty - 6/12/2018 15:30 Today I picked my baby up from my babysitter's house. As I was getting him ready for bed, I saw blood and immediately went into a panic, rushing to the hospital and trying to contact her to see if my baby fell and she didn't tell me. Turns out it was just hot Cheeto dust mixed with drool. FML I agree, your life sucks 2010 You deserved it 1596 29 10 19 226 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/12/2018 14:00 Today, my son begged me to take him to the doctor for the weeping bloody rash on his penis so I had to take an unpaid day off for his appointment. The doctor laughed us out the door after it turned out to be a good old-fashioned friction burn. FML I agree, your life sucks 2992 You deserved it 482 37 6 27 403 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bald baby - 2/12/2018 05:00 Today, despite my protests and warnings, my mother-in-law decided to chemically straighten my bi-racial daughter’s very curly hair. Hours later, not only is her scalp is raw and red, her hair is stringy completely fried and coming out in huge noticeable clumps. Fml I agree, your life sucks 3716 You deserved it 303 33 5 456 20 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lildale92 - 29/11/2018 05:00 Today, I asked my husband to watch our kids while I cooked food for him. Apparently I asked in the wrong tone, because now he's pouting and won't eat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2685 You deserved it 339 86 3 46 173 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thankful - 27/11/2018 22:00 Today, I was tripped downstairs as a "joke" by my little brother. When I was yelling in pain from my broken arm, my mom was lecturing me to be thankful "one goddamn day a year". She also thinks I'm lying just to hide that I'm clumsy and my brother is innocent. He won't admit it. Happy Thanksgiving. FML I agree, your life sucks 3008 You deserved it 148 33 8 218 33 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/11/2018 13:30 Today, I took my son to festival at a local church. He had a Nerf gun as part of his costume, but when I set it down to put something in my bag, someone walked off with it. We can't even go to a church function without running into thieves. FML I agree, your life sucks 2461 You deserved it 233 45 5 149 39 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jen - 26/11/2018 07:30 - United States - Philadelphia Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 2269 You deserved it 239 20 5 63 118 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Superdumb - 26/11/2018 03:00 Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked him if he had ever finished inside a woman. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Babe... I have a son, remember?" Yeah, I forgot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1531 You deserved it 4437 50 13 20 459 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MamaMia - 25/11/2018 15:30 Today, I realized it isn’t my 5-month-old son who has the issue sleeping without me, it is I who cannot sleep without him. This is his first night in his crib and I can’t fall asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 2486 You deserved it 576 41 32 17 185 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MystalBlue - 25/11/2018 13:30 - Netherlands - Utrecht Today, I made a little girl cry. How? She saw my face, got scared, and ran away crying. I thought I wasn't that ugly. FML I agree, your life sucks 2558 You deserved it 165 36 6 70 160 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 17:30 Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess.The first thing my son said was "Did you bring pizza?" FML I agree, your life sucks 2641 You deserved it 295 40 5 121 76 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Everest - 22/11/2018 14:00 Today, I got several thumbtacks jabbed into me. Why? Because my cousin thought it would be a funny prank to superglue a bunch of thumbtacks to his nerf darts. My left forearm is still bleeding. FML I agree, your life sucks 2632 You deserved it 160 14 3 211 49 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cacheson - 21/11/2018 01:04 Today, as a kindergarten music teacher, my principal came in to observe and evaluate me. I thought I'd gotten the hang of managing 23 5-year-olds, but it was a zoo the whole 30 minutes and I didn’t manage to teach anything. I'm not sure I'll be keeping this job. FML I agree, your life sucks 3269 You deserved it 339 42 10 91 126 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share cacheson Say more : Yes, and after working on my classroom management strategies for younger kids my teaching is going much better now.
By THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!! - 20/11/2018 21:00 - Philippines - Pasay City Today, my mom's boyfriend's son stole from me again, this time it's my $4000 gaming laptop. I confronted them about it, and he ignored me as my mom yelled at me to "Grow up and quit my whining about toys!" When I told my buddy, he said to just beat him up. I would, if only he wasn't 10. FML I agree, your life sucks 3102 You deserved it 278 31 5 230 34 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lyss - 16/11/2018 10:30 - United States - New Prague Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML I agree, your life sucks 2415 You deserved it 323 25 3 51 173 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dana - 16/11/2018 15:30 Today, I told my son if he wanted the new internet password he had to clean his room. I then caught him disconnecting my laptop from the internet. Turns out he changed the password months ago and now if I want the new password he wants £50. I ended up paying. I'm actually proud of the sneaky sod. FML I agree, your life sucks 1482 You deserved it 3129 61 15 30 322 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/11/2018 13:30 Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML I agree, your life sucks 2686 You deserved it 563 36 17 55 274 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katz - 11/11/2018 14:00 Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 3024 You deserved it 381 30 7 35 257 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Xandar - 9/11/2018 17:30 Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML I agree, your life sucks 3184 You deserved it 466 41 7 249 89 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By independant - 8/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Corvallis Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 2588 You deserved it 418 49 13 23 262 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, while borrowing my dads car for a few days while mine is getting repairs, another lady and I backed into each other. Except she drove away, leaving... I agree, your life sucks 14 You deserved it 2 0 Comments
Today, I have no Friends. The only Text Messages I get are from Family Members or My Pharmacy Telling me My that My Prescriptions are ready. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 You deserved it 6 0 Comments
Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my... I agree, your life sucks 737 You deserved it 47 14 Comments
Today, I had to stand outside the changing room while two of my coworkers had noisy sex. I just needed my car keys. FML I agree, your life sucks 1085 You deserved it 103 7 Comments
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