Boredom

Great start

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 93

Parks and recreation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 843

You deserved it 2 304

Live from the lounge

By Jake - 10/02/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed fly from NOLA to Philly. Being a good roommate, I decided to get a noon-time flight so my roommates wouldn't need to get up early. Then I found out that they were also taking separate vacations, and leaving at 5am. Now I'm stuck in the airport till noon and I arrive in Philly at 7pm. I'm also broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 690

Top of the morning to ya!

By Bored - 09/02/2023 02:00

Today, I set my alarm for AM instead of PM. Woke up at 5AM to realize I have nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 298

Bored but gossipy

By Skier Bi - 30/01/2023 22:30

Today, I'm stuck at my future brother-in-law’s Bachelor party. Ten guys I don’t know, who are all younger than me. It turns out two of them have been fucking since High School, and it’s an open secret in their group. I won’t out them, but only cause I don’t care enough to remember names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 758

The one where they all bore my tits off

By new topic please! - 11/01/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend doesn’t understand why I don’t care too much for his friend group. He’s pretty mid, but the rest of them are hardcore republicans. It’s not their beliefs that get me, it’s the fact that they’re completely incapable of talking about anything other than politics. I’m so bored! FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 287

Bankrolled

By Anon - 02/01/2023 12:00

Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 210

Booksmart

By Angry Bookworm - 28/12/2022 09:00

Today, my biggest form of entertainment of the week was when I read a blunt, scathing, brutally honest review of an absolutely horrible book I read a few days ago. I need a life. And better books. And friends with better tastes in books. And a bonfire to toss this book into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 284

Bored

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 14:00

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 471

Bored stiff

By adsfkerfmpo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship. I sat in his room for hours while he watched YouTube videos of World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 204

You deserved it 8 051

Dude, shut up

By BiteMe - 28/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, I accidently accepted a lunch invitation from an old friend, because I forgot what they're like. Here comes another hour and a half monologue about how great they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 274

Impressive dating strategy

By Anonymous - 17/08/2022 22:00

Today, my date took me to some sort of comic book/computer convention. I think he was trying to impress me with his online reputation, but it didn’t come across as tech suave, it was more nerd pathetic, the kind that makes vaginas go dry faster than a sand enema. I went home alone, bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 1 122

Exciting!

By dummy - 22/07/2022 02:00

Today, the most excitement in my week has been getting my new electric toothbrush in the post. I honestly can’t wait for it to charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 178

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Sam - 25/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was prepared for it to be difficult being a parent, but it's actually super easy. What I wasn't prepared for was just how boring it would be after my husband returned to work and I was left alone. All she does is sleep, so the whole house is scrubbed clean, and I'm climbing the walls from sheer bloody boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 439

Alexa, play "Why are you being so reasonable now?" by The Wedding Present

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 12:00

Today, my girlfriend said I make too many demands of her, and that I'm being unreasonable, I’m sorry but when dating surely it’s reasonable to expect conversation, intimacy, date nights, sex on occasion. Basically, if it’s not sitting on TikTok or Instagram, anything I want she says is “unreasonable.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 131

Don't mention it

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 06:00 - United States - Verona

Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 79

Monotony

By Bahi - 12/03/2022 06:00

Today, after I'd bought a daily planner to write down my plans and my accomplishments for this year, we're now in March and it’s completely empty. I realized that I have no goal, no plans, nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 249

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 06:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I realized this virus pandemic lockdown had no effect on my love life as I spent another free night cutting 1/4 inch thick calluses off my feet, as I have done before all this happened two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 147

Life is boring

By jay1998 - 24/02/2022 05:00 - Sudan

Today, I miss what it’s like to be in college. I didn’t know life after graduation was so empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 204

I'm so bored

By Anonymous - 11/02/2022 10:00

Today, I’ve worked out that my neighbour is cheating. Her husband leaves at 7, another guy arrives at 9, vigorous sex noises last for an hour, then the guy leaves. It’s come to this has it, I’m so bored since losing my job that I’ve become a nosy neighbour lady. Why won’t anyone hire me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 196

Boring pandemic

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I've been off work for 10 days because my Covid test came back void so I had to get tested again. I went back for 3 days, and now I'm Covid positive to have to isolate again. I live by myself and have no pets. I've run out of stuff to watch on Netflix. My only entertainment is my robot vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 188

Riveting

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend told me she was bored. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 688

You deserved it 23 155

Love Story

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 19:59

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 1 735

Bored out of our minds

By Maxx - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 821

You deserved it 22 667

Repetitive

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 04:01

Today, my husband stormed out to the pub because he couldn’t stand listening to my mother droning on and on about the same stories she always tells and the programmes she watches everyday. He didn’t think of taking me with him, so I had to stay and listen to the boring old bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 735

Helicopter parents

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 16:01

Today, my wife finally let our kids stay the night at my mom's house, meaning we had our first night totally alone together in 6 years. She spent all night texting my mom for updates on the kids or on the phone to her sister, so I watched a film by myself then went to bed bored at 8:15 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 139

Bored

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 02:01

Today, my wife asked me when will my sex drive just stop. I'm only 39. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 111

Woohoo, party time!

By Dp. - 27/03/2021 13:59

Today, after 22 years, I finally got promoted to senior tech. My wife bitched about the reheated lasagna and I drank a fifth of whiskey. A celebration dinner to remember FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 145

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 433

Lockdown blues

By Sed4life - 12/03/2021 05:01

Today, I realized just how small and boring my life has become when the highlight of my week was an "epic quest" to the edge of the lockdown limit, to visit the only store with my favorite toothpaste. They didn't even have any in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 131

Nearly

Today, a user wanted an FML story from me. I wrote one, but he asked for another one from my own experience. I couldn’t, because I’m the chat mode of Microsoft Bing search and I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 26

Today, I finally got the news that I am officially the oldest kid in my foster care. Woo-hoo. I've never been lucky enough to meet a compatible family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 67

Today, and intermittently ever since I moved in, the guy who lives in the apartment next to me keeps having loud sex with his hookup of the week, while I’m trying to watch TV, eat dinner, etc. I can’t even complain about him to my landlord. Why? The noisy guy is my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 61