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Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43313) - you deserved it (4565)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (4338)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

#20930754
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51587) - you deserved it (4374)

On 10/23/2013 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

#20932049
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44433) - you deserved it (3321)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:05am - kids - by he's still not convinced (woman) - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43490) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45596) - you deserved it (4136)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (3323)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (8728)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (6676)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (4134)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (8312)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



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