Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, then I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said, “I wanted to try something new.” FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
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Top comments
hemiol 30
Why not both?
Scarylizard1798 23
Priorities lol
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Comments (49)
Scarylizard1798 23
Priorities lol
frostedfoster 15
*diabeties
alaina1104 11
*diabetes
BestOrginalName 22
DIAHBEETUZ*
jk_waks23 19
You don't get diabetes by just eating ice cream a lot . So it's okay! Op's boyfriend can enjoy his day!
BaththeMan 2
Well at least you know he isn't the average sex driven douche bag right ?
hemiol 30
Why not both?
magicdust95 31
Food before anything ?
mattiscg 22
wait shouldn't you be happy he wasnt talking about being ashamed of have sex with you?
ndts 4
Maybe op thought it'd be really dirty and kinky Sex?
justinb97 16
It's less about being ashamed and more about decency
Bassam24 21
why don't you eat ice cream with him everyone likes ice cream
RichardPencil 32
I hope his brain-freeze was worse than your lady-parts-freeze!
keepcool67 4
Did you just assume it's gender?
captain_hero89 22
smart move. no one needs to see anyone eat that much ice cream
pancakebunny 19
Hahahahahahhaha
man_in_black08 28
Thats what you get for orgasming thinking about krispy kreme doughnuts when you had sex with him earlier!!