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Thursday 27 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

#20763233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (7271)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

#20752684
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46504) - you deserved it (6670)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20750126
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48508) - you deserved it (3242)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45932) - you deserved it (2918)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (19299)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52719) - you deserved it (5832)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41403) - you deserved it (10659)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (3690)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51057) - you deserved it (6093)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46263) - you deserved it (2454)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4641)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (44947)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)



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