Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 12 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58646) - you deserved it (5710)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53008) - you deserved it (5281)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52540) - you deserved it (10933)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62530) - you deserved it (4345)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56218) - you deserved it (4335)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62998) - you deserved it (9744)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

#20728644
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55561) - you deserved it (11286)

On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61424) - you deserved it (8533)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47458) - you deserved it (2631)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52883) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57139) - you deserved it (6882)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52742) - you deserved it (4857)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52657) - you deserved it (6040)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: