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July 2013

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2day I was at the store when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him he said that "They're fir us babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home and it's my time of the month. mega FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59569) - you deserved it (5771)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today... I got ead lice... so I went to a store to buy medicated sampoo. Wen cecking out te casier saw my sampoo an asked me to leave immediately to protect te oter customers. He didn't let me buy te sampoo. fat FML

#20775381
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53320) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

YESTERDAY, I AD MA FRST WET DREAM. I WOKE UP SWEATING AN SOAKING WET. TOO BAD I DREAMED ABOUT AVING INTENSE SEX WIT A CARDBOARD BOX. FML

#20813339
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53664) - you deserved it (8526)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

TODAY, I GOOGLED "HOW TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT." I'M 37. MEGA FML

#20765003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (48787)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

2day mah doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts fir hours looool after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67762) - you deserved it (4001)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Yastarday , I Finishad Tha Kayak I Hava Baan Working On Fir Four Yaars. I Can't Gat It Out Of My Basamant. Maga FML

#20811304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (23430)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me mah bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends . We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like . Right as we started playing, 4 some unearthly reason mah body decided to let out a little pee . I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet . He did . real FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53170) - you deserved it (17254)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today , some guys were doing construction on my house , when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50941) - you deserved it (4012)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today..!! after mowing my neighbor's lawn 4 3 years 4 free without being askd to..!! he finally cummd out while I was in the middle of it!! Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash..!! he instead said..!! "You missd a spot" and walkd back inside!! FML

Today, I was babysitting a littla boy for tha first tima. Ha kapt using all sorts of profanity toward ma tha whola avaning, so I told his mom whan sha pickad him up. Sha just gruntad and muttarad, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." maga FML

#20794280
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55476) - you deserved it (4670)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Taday I was on drive-thru where I work . Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through . A woman cummed in and I noticed her dog . Without a thought.. . I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one . I looked again . The 'dog was her daughter . FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49974) - you deserved it (24782)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open yur buns, the meat is ready." fat FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55186) - you deserved it (7766)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)



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