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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When mah 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants an peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out 4 upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55207) - you deserved it (4259)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went out an met somebody . We got talking an we both realized we r each the ideal romantic partner for the other . The only problem is we r both straight men . FML

#20809215
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51388) - you deserved it (7576)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, I discovered that when mah husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend looool an his wife could have children, there was nothing ( artificial ) about the insemination. FML

#20762781
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66632) - you deserved it (5781)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

TODAY, I RETURND FROM A LONG BUSINES TRIP A DAY EARLY TO SURPRISE WIFE. SHE WAS SLEEPING, SO I CLIMBD INTO BD AND STARTD SPOONING HER. THINKING I WAS AN INTRUDER, SHE SIMULTANEOUSLY KICKD ME IN THE GROIN, ELBOWD ME IN THE RIBS, AND SMACKD THE BACK OF HER HEAD INTO JAW. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (24610)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walkd in on mah daughtar hugging and sobbing into har Edward Cullan cut-out. Sha won't tall mahat's wrong, yat sha can confida in a craapy fictional stalkarhosa facial axprassion is lockd to ( chronically constipatd ). Whara did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48296) - you deserved it (7055)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53306) - you deserved it (7832)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I FINALLY GOT MY LAPTOP BACK AFTER MY FRIEND BROKE IT A FEW WEEKS AGO. AS I WALKED BACK INTO OUR PLACE WITH MY LAPTOP IN MY BAG, THE SAME FRIEND BURST OUT AND TACKLED ME. MY BAG FELL AND SLAMMED INTO THE FLOOR. GUESSHO HAS TO PAY FOR ANOTHER REPAIR.

#20772448
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50023) - you deserved it (4252)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, I came back from vacation only to fine mah 16-year-old son was throwing looool a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. mega FML

TODAY, I FINALLY REALIZED THATHEN MAH SEEMINGLY VERY JUDGMENTAL FIANCÉ MAKES NEGATIVE COMMENTS ABOUT OTHER WOMEN, IT'S ACTUALLY JUST AN EXCUSE TO KEEP OGLING THEM. FML

#20761657
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (5442)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to te self-ceck. I scanned te condoms, ten a magazine and tried to putted te condoms under te magazines to ide tem. Te store guy saw me, tougt I was soplifting and I was kicked out of te store. FML

#20801510
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39247) - you deserved it (14386)

On 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND WAS CHASED OUT OF A BAR AFTER HE WAS SEEN SLIPPING SOMETHING INTO A WOMAN'S DRINK. I WAS THE WOMAN, THE 'SOMETHING' WAS ASPIRIN, AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE EVER TRY TO ROLE-PLAY. FML

#20798724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (28038)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

yesterday my boyfriend proposd to me at his parents house. I was overjoyd. His mom huggd me with tears in her eyes. His father,ho never really spoke before, huggd me a few hours laterhen we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass andhispering, "I can change your mind."

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68532) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

yesterday I learned that mah wife used to striphile in college. I found this outhen I brought her to a work party an mah boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52211) - you deserved it (3994)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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