Love, Weird and First Dates: Tonight, on 'First Dates'…

Tonight, on 'First Dates'…

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 128

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Same thing different taste

Back to the comfort zone I go

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and go out with a guy who’s not my usual type. He spent the whole date griping and complaining about how women never go for “nice guys” like him. When I pointed out we were currently on a date, he said, “I mean hot girls.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 101

First and last date

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 286

You deserved it 4 243

Nope, just nope

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 75

Creeped out of here

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 1 972

By Lonely Gay - 22/02/2012 09:37 - United States

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 507

You deserved it 5 396

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 2 633

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 542

You deserved it 4 562

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 486

You deserved it 2 985

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 428

Oblivious

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 06:00

Today, a couple convinced me I should ask out their daughter I went to school with, because it’s "obvious" we like each other. I do have a crush on her, so I decided to bravely go for it. She didn’t just say no, it was, “Ew, no, weirdo.” All her parents could say was, “Wow, we misjudged that, our bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 116

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 18 April 2024 0:33

Sorry, you picked the creepy guy, not the weird guy.

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 17 April 2024 23:52

At least you got a confirmation that he's weird...

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 17 April 2024 23:52

At least you got a confirmation that he's weird...

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 18 April 2024 0:33

Sorry, you picked the creepy guy, not the weird guy.

juggalo2 20

Thursday 18 April 2024 3:40

That's terrible. Everyone knows you don't go for 3rd base until the 3rd date.

tiptoppc 19

Thursday 18 April 2024 14:19

Or 7th point til 7th date. Wait, are we on the same game?

dreams2383 18

Thursday 18 April 2024 4:45

there's a different between being weird and being a creep. you chose the latter

Brightside86 30

Thursday 18 April 2024 5:11

Meh, that's pineapple on your pizza level weird. Would be more unusually if you both happened to be in perfect sync with your preferences.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 327

You deserved it 6 125

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 087

You deserved it 2 489

The Top

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 631

You deserved it 44 312

Today, I was sleeping peacefully with my cat sweetly snuggling my legs under the covers. My husband dutch-ovened her, and she shredded my calves as she rushed to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 843

You deserved it 1 996

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 862

You deserved it 1 525

Today, my girlfriend caught me using Tinder behind her back and now she wants to break up with me. I begged her to stay, but now we're kinda in between a friendship and a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 2 654

Today, I went to hospital with chest pain and they discovered I need a triple bypass for three arteries clogged with fat. The doctor assumed from my scans that I must be middle aged or older because he’d never seen three arteries clogged so badly on someone under 50. I’m 27 FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 314

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 862

You deserved it 464

Same thing different taste

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