Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 28 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35395) - you deserved it (4520)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

#20937230
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (2963)

On 10/28/2013 at 8:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (8678)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (33784)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (41197)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24861) - you deserved it (42960)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (50398)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

#20942793
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (40329)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by FUCKING POWER - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17669) - you deserved it (45677)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16811) - you deserved it (67072)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: