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Wednesday 1 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (35318)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

#20634292
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35908) - you deserved it (7019)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35637) - you deserved it (10701)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (16464)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32850) - you deserved it (7072)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (55183)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (50288)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (70153)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25706) - you deserved it (51580)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (60197)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

#20641701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (37046)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)



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