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November 2012

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yesterday I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18770) - you deserved it (1502)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today.. . my looool girlfriend claimed se was a Viking cuz se's pale and as blond air . Se also warned me tat if I piss er off se'll go 'berserk' on me . Se demonstrated by smacking me in te nuts wit a wooden spoon . FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (3184)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

today I was visiting family in Oregon . I did not know it was illegal to pump yur own gas; the cops were involved . fat FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (2098)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

my looool husband cummed home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly fir him, he's married to me. real FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today , My Grlfriend Cummed Over To A Family Game Night!! Halfway Through A Game Of Klingon Monopoly , My Drunk Parents Started Arguing Because Apparently , While My Dad Was In Jail , He Cheated On My Mom With A Klingon Whore!! I Doubt My Grlfriend Will Ever Visit Again!! FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm Recovering In The Emergency Room. How Did I Get Here? Intoxicatd At A Cod Party, I Saw A Hole In The Host's Shd And Thought It Funny To Christen It A "glory-hole", Only To Be Bitten By Wat May Well Have Been A Black Widow Spider. Big Fat FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6416) - you deserved it (43336)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, I ran into mah boss outsida of work. Sha smild, and startd trying to hava an in-dapth chat with ma. I wouldn't hava mindd, if it waran't 4 tha fact I ran into har at a club,hilst thay wara having an S and M thama night. And wa wara both fully drassd up 4 it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19798) - you deserved it (3986)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

2day mah long-distance boyfriend an I decidd to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumd that mah dad was asleep an did some drty talk. When we were done, I heard mah dad laughing outside mah room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (15988)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I Spotted A Girl I Have A Crush On While Grocery Shopping. Before I Could Go Over An Say Hi, I Noticed Her Walk Over An Stroke A Few Kitchen Knives Through Plastic Wrapping. Then I Spotted Her In The Dog Food Section Sniffing Rawhide Bones With Her Eyes Closed, Looking Very Happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I caught mah mother trying to switch mah contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild... or that she thought I wouldn't notice that mah birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (1507)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I took a crowded train ome . I was olding on to te rail wen an old man started rubbing is crotc across ma and . I moved ma and but e moved too and kept doing it . Wen I moved ma and iger, e started licking it . I ad to wait ten minutes 4 te next stop . FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

YESTERDAY, MAH HUSBAND QUIT HIS JOB AS A UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR AND PICKD UP THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT AT A RAT FARM SO HE COULD HAVE MORE TIME DURING THE DAY TO PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States



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