Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, my mother was sneaking through my underwear and found my condoms and the bills from the hospital where I had my IUD inserted. She then started yelling at me, saying that I didn't have permission to not have children and that, "I get to choose, not you." I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
So move out of moms house if you don’t want to hear it.
Marcella1016 32
Poor woman has probably never had an ******.
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Comments (7)
mike3775 39
So move out of moms house if you don’t want to hear it.
Marcella1016 32
Poor woman has probably never had an ******.
Jon Tessler 14
just tell her "of course I am, Satan throws better parties"
SirEnigM0nk 22
Shake it off, she's just venting. Improve at discreetly concealing the condoms (and props for using them BTW), and if you do the deed, find a venue outside her jurisdiction.
Rake 18
Wait, so she yelled at you for having protected sex instead of trying to have out-of-marriage kids? I guess ultra-catholic is different where you live..
Grumpy Jack 27
Having an ultra-catholic mom IS the FML
Sinshine 28
It’s ok. Satan is way more fun anyway. Go have fun!