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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (19360)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40002) - you deserved it (6460)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

#20878417
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (6573)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:40pm - work - by sysadmin:~# rm -rf / (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39299) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38668) - you deserved it (4295)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43931) - you deserved it (2994)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18179) - you deserved it (36621)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44219) - you deserved it (4003)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

#20879963
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39361) - you deserved it (9815)

On 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm - work - by Volunteer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44979) - you deserved it (12470)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

#20881721
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (6112)

On 09/15/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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