Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37814) - you deserved it (4740)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55863) - you deserved it (4599)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44508) - you deserved it (3070)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (51054)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (51629)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47172) - you deserved it (5080)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

#20772988
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43377) - you deserved it (5145)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by tonedef (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46822) - you deserved it (12068)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49438) - you deserved it (4427)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (4579)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: