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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46156) - you deserved it (5685)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56144) - you deserved it (6127)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

#20925665
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46503) - you deserved it (4843) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57973) - you deserved it (5463)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44794) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (3984)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you deserved it (26285)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54805) - you deserved it (7550)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (6989)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I again failed to convince my girlfriend that the $100 in our account is the minimum amount we have keep there to avoid being charged by the bank. We have a joint checking account, and the only way to take her off it is to close the account outright. FML

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46546) - you deserved it (20634)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43043) - you deserved it (25545)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States



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