Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56977) - you deserved it (14066)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65157) - you deserved it (6709)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (5092)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64463) - you deserved it (12839)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

#20712353
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60221) - you deserved it (4714)

On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54456) - you deserved it (14897)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51607) - you deserved it (10933)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

#20753667
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43509) - you deserved it (8469)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by damniphone - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61805) - you deserved it (4393)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46926) - you deserved it (13923)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55123) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20750126
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55941) - you deserved it (3906)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: