Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (3125)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (2670)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

#7968028
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (8591)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

#7967999
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (3460)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (2202)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16010) - you deserved it (35237)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

#7962571
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (3761)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:16am - love - by mike (man) - United States (West Virginia)

wambamtysam's comment : the fact is, people who end up killing themselves never speak about it. it's always a shock or a mystery. she's just a little poser and wouldn't have the balls to kill herself.

See all the comments →

Today, I realized after sending out countless copies of my resume to companies, I failed to add my phone number on it. FML

#7960442
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8247) - you deserved it (29295)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:12am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

#7957941
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (5754)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Bruja5 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML

#7957934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by nekoneko (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (4684)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)



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