Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 7:06am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Money

Today, I had to spend £200 at the dentist for fillings and repairs to my teeth. Why do I need them? Because I'm stressed about money and grind my teeth in the night because of it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 7:05am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Money

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

by xkal174 / 11/15/2010 at 6:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:35am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 2:26am / Work

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

by mynameisarmpit / 11/15/2010 at 1:48am / Love

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 12:08am / Miscellaneous

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

by vansboy / 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm / Intimacy

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

by stutterernotschizophrenic / 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that the only reason he's attracted to me and asked me to marry him is because I look and act like his favorite anime character. FML

Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML

by ellebelle / 11/14/2010 at 7:23pm / United States / Money

Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 6:09pm / Love