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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

#7284485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (1866)

On 01/11/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by hateskool888581 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34417) - you deserved it (2839)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

#7278236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (3102)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

#7278086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8192) - you deserved it (27657)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (9971)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24094) - you deserved it (3179)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

#7277653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10754) - you deserved it (25965)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by Chris (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (5262)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (9812)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

AnneOminous's comment : And today you need to learn how to discipline your child.

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

#7273093
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10380) - you deserved it (53734)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:23am - health - by alexbobalex (woman) - Aland Islands

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

#7273042
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (3930)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:20am - money - by Pauper (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waited for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day. FML

#7270960
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:19am - health - by Gentleman (man) - United States (Mississippi)



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