Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (21136)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (3252)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML

#7939467
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (5045)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:01pm - misc - by dinosaurboy (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss' truck. While he was in it. FML

#7939097
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10342) - you deserved it (21340)

On 02/06/2010 at 2:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

#7937291
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (4058)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from mobile version

Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML

#7937064
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (4257)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:39pm - love - by Richard - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML

#7936771
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (6600)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:29pm - love - by cherrycokeee - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (13724)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML

#7930001
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (4744)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, we had a NAT for our preparation for college. I did quite well and knew most of the answers. When I turned mine in, I realised I forgot to write my name. The proctor doesn't allow giving back test papers after it is turned in. And no, I can't retake it. FML

#7929962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12120) - you deserved it (27977)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:35am - misc - by stupidupid (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

#7928576
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18505) - you deserved it (5449)

On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

#7927538
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27422) - you deserved it (5730)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:17am - misc - by Oops (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: