Miscellaneous: Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because...

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 957

You deserved it 23 554

Miscellaneous

Taking stock

Broken heart

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

No-life

By Anonymous - 03/12/2020 20:01

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to spend alone time playing FIFA instead of having a relationship. If I ever find the CEO of EA Sports, I’m throwing hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 231

By theish - 04/02/2011 14:08

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 890

You deserved it 6 991

By wooed - 03/12/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 483

You deserved it 9 011

By Anonymous - 03/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 620

You deserved it 31 984

By clingmaster - 09/09/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 732

You deserved it 4 649

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 12:49 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 137

You deserved it 2 874

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 500

You deserved it 23 246

By okseñoryoucrazy - 02/02/2015 00:43 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 980

You deserved it 2 971

By fuckit - 31/01/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 187

You deserved it 5 579

By forever alone - 19/06/2014 22:26 - United States - Pawling

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 928

You deserved it 7 431

By poor man - 26/11/2014 14:13 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 638

You deserved it 2 958

By Deli meat prom - 20/04/2015 21:41 - United States - Dallas

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 432

You deserved it 3 409

By Asshole Parker - 06/09/2016 11:01 - United States

Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 277

You deserved it 7 423

Oh, hai Mark!

By Bribri - 18/11/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 810

You deserved it 2 454

By Dogsbody - 27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 225

By okay - 22/07/2015 04:58 - United States - Woodstock

Today, a customer complained he never got his sandwich, even though I put it in the oven, dressed it up and served it to him. When I went to clear his table off, I saw the sandwich basket. We had to give him his money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 534

You deserved it 2 282

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 17:04 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 520

You deserved it 2 648

By SM - 30/10/2009 03:35 - United States

Today, at work one of my co-worker was oddly nice to me; and my boss, who usually always says hi to me, didn't look or speak to me. Later that day I found out that I was going to be fired, not because my boss told me but because my picture was missing from the wall of employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 2 031

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 20:41 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 719

You deserved it 16 702

By Anonymous - 04/09/2012 15:09 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 9 374

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 779

You deserved it 3 035

By Anonymous - 23/10/2009 15:15 - Netherlands

Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 292

You deserved it 4 353

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 14:51 - Ireland

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 138

You deserved it 47 974

Night piss anxiety

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Brookline

Today, I tried not drinking water for a few hours before bed, because I hate waking up and having to pee. I woke up feeling gross and dehydrated instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 249

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 677

Thanks, I hate it

By nakedyogagirl - 03/09/2010 00:16 - United Kingdom

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 067

You deserved it 39 593

Wrong end of the stick

By Matt - 03/06/2012 14:21 - Australia - Tyabb

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 772

You deserved it 3 846

By friend - 29/06/2012 20:48 - Israel - Rishon Le Zion

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 614

You deserved it 3 663

By puggles - 03/01/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 593

You deserved it 7 731

By :( - 28/03/2014 20:25 - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 616

You deserved it 4 807

By DumpedHisAss - 14/10/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 940

You deserved it 3 734

By scared shitless - 10/12/2013 09:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 249

You deserved it 3 817

By anonymous - 14/09/2010 07:57 - United States

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 236

You deserved it 6 894

By dan - 25/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 205

You deserved it 15 332

By charlotte9338 - 23/10/2011 23:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 916

You deserved it 2 882

Modernity

By Jules - 29/10/2020 02:03 - Germany - Aachen

Today, my health insurance has finally gone digital, so I sent them a message through their webpage, asking a question. I then got an email, telling me they'd replied. I had to log into their webpage again to see the reply, which read, "A letter concerning your question has been sent to you by post." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 25/06/2016 03:29 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my father-in-law is still introducing me to family friends as his son's girlfriend. I have been married to his son for 5 years, we have a child together and another on the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 028

You deserved it 1 017

I'm looking through you

By lesler - 20/07/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 173

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 553

You deserved it 90 712

Property law

By wtf dad - 22/07/2020 23:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 286

You deserved it 573

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NGM_KID 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:55

Maybe you should recommend those drugs to your mom...but then again you could be a bitch :D

Kamazar 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:06

"Today, my daughter told me she was on anti-depressants. I told her, 'That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And you're kind of a bitch.' 10 hours later, she burst through the door with a tommy gun. FML"

NGM_KID 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:55

Maybe you should recommend those drugs to your mom...but then again you could be a bitch :D

Giorgio272 2

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Monday 26 April 2010 13:21

serves you right for being a downer low self esteem bitch. learn to grow up bitch face mcgee.

coreywh 0

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Sunday 11 July 2010 8:53

I am sorry ur mom is the bitch

jamieleigh_315 0

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Friday 3 June 2011 6:02

her mom isn't the bitch she is 4 being "depressed" an wanting sympathy from pple on fml

silvereye12 7

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Thursday 30 June 2011 8:26

if that's a picture of you you have as your icon, it's a wonder you're not on anti-depressants.

colortherainbowx 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:56

Maybe because you really are one?

sufan106 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:56

maybe shes right ur probably a bitch

Eki23 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:57

Haha wow... You probably are a bitch though...

qqqppp 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:57

i second that notion.

featherhead 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:59

ouch

mylifesucks_alot 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:00

Have our mothers met?

ladybuggg 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:01

i dont think it was right for her to call u a bitch i feel bad for u thats mean

_FUCKyourLIFE_ 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:01

Whys everyone saying shes a bitch. you dont even know her

emolilyx 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:04

How can you say she's a bitch when you don't even know her? I love how people come up with such bullshit reasons to say YDI; how exactly did she deserve this?