Miscellaneous: Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

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Miscellaneous

Understandable

Mother of the year

On a leash

By Randy - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

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43752

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By crazycatlady - United States - Charlotte

Rescue cat

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6349

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815

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By OhDeary - United States

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41269

You deserved it

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By brylynn - United States

Today, I fainted during my sister's wedding because my dress was too tight. When I woke up, she slapped me hard across the face. Why? Because I "took all the attention away" from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30056

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Boise

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12300

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By Anonymous - United States - Killington

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28382

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By skyeraven - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43788

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39205

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42036

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4658

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By screwyouchris - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26588

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By fml9124 - 20/3/2020 18:00

Quick reflexes

Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still scared of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1485

You deserved it

659

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By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36438

You deserved it

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By Enyo - Reserved

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39577

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9099

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57941

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Parents love

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2482

You deserved it

1000

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By lk26 - United States

Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35495

You deserved it

2907

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9487

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By Anna - United States

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32949

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4851

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By Username

Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31326

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By down trodden - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44339

You deserved it

3292

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By Anonymous - United States - Brunswick

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21922

You deserved it

2272

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By Anonymous - 6/3/2021 05:03

Is it not your baby as well?

Today, I'm starting to realize my wife's baby loves me more than my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

495

You deserved it

118

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By georgiahick

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40640

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6076

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By WhyMe

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor and then followed up with: "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

6087

You deserved it

349

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By imwrong - Philippines

Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9221

You deserved it

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By anon - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

60326

You deserved it

36597

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By Baikal - Singapore

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55880

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3603

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By needanotherbed - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51988

You deserved it

6116

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By ChiefKoala

This is America

Today, it will be the third time since moving to this area that I will have to call out of work because of gunshots heard nearby, police looking for someone and advising us to stay indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1540

You deserved it

208

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41338

You deserved it

4211

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41710

You deserved it

3354

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By Nextman

Today, my coworker, who is constantly singing "Baby Shark," wanted to take selfie for her Instagram account. She moved all the junk from her desk to mine, so her desk would look great in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1671

You deserved it

204

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By facepalm

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1760

You deserved it

213

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By don't pray, PAY

Today, I attended a Buddhist prayer service for my religion and philosophy course. When the service was over, everyone stood up. Unfortunately, my legs and feet had fallen asleep so much that I lost balance and tackled a monk into the shrine. I'm expected to pay for injuries and damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5308

You deserved it

1226

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By sorry :/ - United States - Monroe Township

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37957

You deserved it

2991

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54815

You deserved it

8651

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By MC - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11479

You deserved it

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By Rachael - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I wondered why the cashiers at my local chip shop were being so unusually friendly and knocked money off my bill. Then when I got back to my boyfriend's house, I noticed my bright red bra shining through my black top like a light. I debuted my tits for some chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1313

You deserved it

475

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By pixie09 - United States

Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31355

You deserved it

11565

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Top comments

By NGM_KID | 0

#128203 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:55

Maybe you should recommend those drugs to your mom...but then again you could be a bitch :D

By Kamazar | 0

#128263 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:06

"Today, my daughter told me she was on anti-depressants. I told her, 'That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And you're kind of a bitch.' 10 hours later, she burst through the door with a tommy gun. FML"

COMMENTS

By NGM_KID | 0

#128203 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:55

Maybe you should recommend those drugs to your mom...but then again you could be a bitch :D

Giorgio272 | 2

#985109 - Monday 26 April 2010 13:21

serves you right for being a downer low self esteem bitch. learn to grow up bitch face mcgee.

coreywh | 0

#1078058 - Sunday 11 July 2010 8:53

I am sorry ur mom is the bitch

jamieleigh_315 | 0

#2610591 - Friday 3 June 2011 6:02

her mom isn't the bitch she is 4 being "depressed" an wanting sympathy from pple on fml

silvereye12 | 7

#2789998 - Thursday 30 June 2011 8:26

if that's a picture of you you have as your icon, it's a wonder you're not on anti-depressants.

By colortherainbowx | 0

#128206 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:56

Maybe because you really are one?

By sufan106 | 0

#128209 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:56

maybe shes right
ur probably a bitch

By Eki23 | 0

#128215 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:57

Haha wow... You probably are a bitch though...

By qqqppp | 0

#128217 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:57

i second that notion.

By featherhead | 0

#128224 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:59

ouch

By mylifesucks_alot | 0

#128235 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:00

Have our mothers met?

By ladybuggg | 0

#128236 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:01

i dont think it was right for her to call u a bitch i feel bad for u thats mean

By _FUCKyourLIFE_ | 0

#128239 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:01

Whys everyone saying shes a bitch. you dont even know her

By emolilyx | 0

#128249 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:04

How can you say she's a bitch when you don't even know her? I love how people come up with such bullshit reasons to say YDI; how exactly did she deserve this?