Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "No worries" to mean "Don't give a shit about anything." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
Jowisee 29
When she asks for something, tell her Hakuna Matata. She'll soon get the idea!
lat187 18
What a wonderful phrase!
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Comments (61)
Jowisee 29
When she asks for something, tell her Hakuna Matata. She'll soon get the idea!
Ichiya 29
Or go extreme. Stop wearing clothes, showering, cooking, and going to work. When she gets concerned scream Hakuna Matata mother ******.
thawny_fml 21
Introduce her to the birdy boiler.
caarlosgomez_ 14
that is a terrible thing to do to a child
joeyl2008 29
That is a smart way to live
hoosiergirl94 31
That's my credo about college now that it's the last two weeks
lat187 18
What a wonderful phrase!
Kermy1113 23
Technically Hakuna Mutata is a "problem free philosophy" so she's using it wrong cause she's bout to make some problems.
Patriots21 14
....shat up
en124to79 16
actually it is Swahili for no problems, has nothing to do with philosophy other than some animated animals deciding to live by it
Kermy1113 23
It's part of the song in the movie.
whysojealous 18
Oh I didn't know that movies are factual and completely true! You learn something new everyday...
Kermy1113 23
I guess you don't know how jokes work ?
Guy1009 15
Do you? Because trying to convey sarcasm or humour through text is a difficult task. If he didn't understand it. So you executed it poorly.
awildwhisper 30
Why are you all being so mean? Dang!
caarlosgomez_ 14
lmaoo it wasn't hard to get
SolidSteak 5
I got what she meant. You guys are idiots.
idk_rose 25
Most adorable FML ever
airassault 16
Taken right, it is a great way to live, but she really might want to learn the whole song and have some definite responsibilities... Good luck, OP!
RickySleeves 20
NAAAAAANTS INGONYAMAAAA BAGITHIIBABA!
littlekellilee 45
There's some lions. it's a lion.
91hayek 31
Get her father to project his image on clouds in the night sky and then blare his voice telling her to stop messing about and listen to her parents.
rcarn 20
Sounds like a stoner-to-be