Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

by skyhigh / 01/13/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

by tatortot7707 / 01/12/2011 at 11:42pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:06pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

by iheartnjdevils / 01/12/2011 at 2:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 1:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 10:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:29am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

by will3000 / 01/12/2011 at 8:28am / Work

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:14am / United Kingdom / Money

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

by lovefool / 01/12/2011 at 5:58am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Love