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By Gail - 5/4/2021 00:30

Missed opportunities

Today, I told my wife I walked away from a £5000 bet I had a good chance at winning, because I refused to embarrass myself in public. She responded with a Star Trek reference, "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack, rule of acquisition 109." My god, I married a heartless nerd. FML
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312
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1034
7 Comments
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By navi - 11/3/2021 11:01

Assumptions

Today, my dad once again had to help me with my technological issues. Isn’t it usually the other way around? FML
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504
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373
4 Comments
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By katw - 10/3/2021 02:01

Weirdo geek freaks out

Today, I went on a first day with a guy. It went well up until he saw my phone, loudly declared that I was ‘gross’ for having an iPhone, and then stormed out. I’m on a family plan and if it were my choice, I would have got an Android. FML
I agree, your life sucks
775
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193
8 Comments
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By Anonymous - 28/2/2021 04:01 - United States - Weyauwega

Ungeeked

Today, while trying to fix a corrupted USB hard drive with my wife’s computer I accidentally wiped her laptop drive instead of clearing the external drive. I’m not allowed on her computers anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks
249
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1397
5 Comments
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By VidyaGameCollector - Canada - Port Colborne
Today, because money is a little tight, I decided to sell one of my retro video game consoles. The family member that initially gave me it to me saw the ad on Facebook and demanded I give it back to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1872
You deserved it
745
11 Comments
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By
Today, after two years of hard work, I finished writing my novel dedicated to my father. I timed everything so that the paperback would arrive at his house just before Christmas, then I booked a flight to surprise him so I could see his reaction in person. He just texted me, my mom told him. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3175
Phew, glad it wasn't me
233
14 Comments
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By loser
Today I bought the Gold edition to a game for $90. I expected to be very good only to realize it was the same as the previous installment. I went to check the refund policy and it said that I had to have played less than 2 hours, I had 121 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2460
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941
15 Comments
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By Oops
Today, I submitted some honest negative feedback to the customer service team of all my favourite games, Today is also the day all my accounts got permanently banned from my console and I have lost all my progress. Bye bye 22 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2702
You deserved it
929
32 Comments
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By Anonymous - United States - Floral Park
Today, I found my brother sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked why, he told me Melanie was dead. Thinking he was talking about his girlfriend, I offered to take him to a grief counselor. It was there that he told us that Melanie is the name of his horse in Red Dead Redemption II. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2943
You deserved it
363
13 Comments
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By Lala - United Kingdom - Dollar
Today, I built a computer with 8 graphics cards that were really expensive. Yeah, they all blew up except the one that cost half the price of the rest. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2479
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937
11 Comments
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By Anonymous

That sucks

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2407
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914
12 Comments
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By Barry Wom
Today, my boss is out of the office and sent me an e-mail asking me to multiply two numbers together and send her the result. Apparently she doesn't know that her smartphone has a calculator app. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2502
You deserved it
166
10 Comments
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By Argh - United States - Longview
Today, my boss reached a new low when, after three software upgrades, she refused to let me update the user manual that I wrote a year ago. She has also cancelled the training sessions I set up to help people learn the new software. People are asking me why I'm not doing my job anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3242
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161
15 Comments
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By Binks - United States - Bonneau
Today, my dad took away my Xbox because "You never do anything active." I had just run a 5K. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2841
You deserved it
226
7 Comments
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By Takegami - United States - Norge
Today, I realized how alone I truly was when I caught myself talking to a podcast. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2335
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287
4 Comments
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By Nafypoo
Today, I was playing competitively for my clan in a tournament. Money is involved, and I was doing quite well until my girlfriend up and turned the PS4 off because I wasn't "paying enough attention" to her, despite being on a holiday with her for the previous 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3198
You deserved it
863
39 Comments
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By THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!! - Philippines - Pasay City
Today, my mom's boyfriend's son stole from me again, this time it's my $4000 gaming laptop. I confronted them about it, and he ignored me as my mom yelled at me to "Grow up and quit my whining about toys!" When I told my buddy, he said to just beat him up. I would, if only he wasn't 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3314
You deserved it
302
40 Comments
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By Anonymous
Today, while buying Red Dead Redemption 2, the cashier spoiled the ending. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3139
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308
18 Comments
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By Scapegoat
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3294
You deserved it
275
18 Comments
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By Dana
Today, I told my son if he wanted the new internet password he had to clean his room. I then caught him disconnecting my laptop from the internet. Turns out he changed the password months ago and now if I want the new password he wants £50. I ended up paying. I'm actually proud of the sneaky sod. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1555
You deserved it
3319
38 Comments
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By Louis - South Africa
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1639
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2852
16 Comments
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By Katz
Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3150
You deserved it
406
27 Comments
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By traumatized - Canada - Joliette
Today, I accidentally opened my dad's sex tape. For the second time. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2544
You deserved it
2022
20 Comments
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By lel
Today, I got a blue screen of death on my brand new computer. Why? My parents installed an "anti-virus" before I got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2921
You deserved it
223
14 Comments
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By thanks..?
Today, my dentist said I have a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2257
You deserved it
211
7 Comments
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By Heggs
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3908
You deserved it
185
30 Comments
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By Juggernaut Drive
Today, my little sister got into my anime DVDs, probably thinking they were cartoons. She watched High School DXD, which isn't the best anime for a 6-year-old. Now she wants to be the Breast Dragon Emperor for Halloween and Dad is threatening to set fire to my entire collection. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2565
You deserved it
1357
16 Comments
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By Lubitueh - Portugal - Carnaxide
Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I dislike the most, to which I blurted out "people". I don't think I'm landing this one. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2521
You deserved it
1113
17 Comments
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By anerdmom
Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2815
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334
9 Comments
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By dustlander.com - United States - Provo
Today, I was wrapping up a 30+ hour commission when a software bug caused my main layer to delete itself. There doesn't appear to be any way I can restore it. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2387
You deserved it
319
15 Comments
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Next
Nearly  
Today, I took an allergy pill and discovered that I am also allergic to certain brands. FML
I agree, your life sucks
16
You deserved it
0
0 Comments
Today, after the pandemic and gaining weight and letting my hair grow out that my phone doesn't even recognize me.....FML
I agree, your life sucks
10
You deserved it
4
0 Comments
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  Spicy
  Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks
156
You deserved it
19
5 Comments
  Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks
359
You deserved it
72
2 Comments
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