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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (8983)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

#20868484
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37732) - you deserved it (6567)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37590) - you deserved it (2372)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

#20865600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37522) - you deserved it (10197)

On 09/03/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CodyS - United States (Ohio)

Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML

#20869973
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (8972)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (3173)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36668) - you deserved it (6819)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36519) - you deserved it (5208)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

#20869282
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (2306)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by Zuzubat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started my new internship at a vet clinic. By the end of the day I had: been peed on, scratched, forced to stuff a dead dog into a plastic bag, thrown up and almost passed out. I need to rethink my future career. FML

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (12954)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (6302)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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